神话任务：群鸦盛宴（2020）

噢 那是Rachel妈妈吗
Oh, is that Rachel's mom?
Rachel妈 你可以让Rachel上线吗 她得来工作
Hey, Rachel's mom, can you send Rachel in? It's work time.
Lou 你在干什么 - 你不是升职了吗
Lou, what are you doing here? -I thought you got promoted.
没错 他们让我负责
I did. They made me head guy
照顾像你俩般的笨蛋
in charge of babysitting dum-dums like you.
我有几条规矩 我吃东西时不会关声音
Couple of ground rules to go over: I don't mute when I eat.
我也不想听到碎碎念
I don't want to hear any chitchat.
不准开私密通话 也不准给我脾气
I don't want to hear any side chat, certainly no back-sass.
女士们 记得
And, ladies, let's remember:
我们是一起的
we're all in this together.
好 - 棒啊
Super. -Great.
你输了 - 妈的
Yeah. You lose! -Damn it.
你为什么这么擅长这游戏
How are you so good at this game?
才能这玩意 不是人有你有的
I guess some people have it, and some people don't.
说到没有 一边眉毛 来
Speaking of not having things, one eyebrow, please.
好了 我去拿剃刀
Fine, I'll get my razor.
别说话 等我一下 Sue打电♥话♥来
Ah, shi-- Hold on. Sue's calling.
Sue你好
Hey, Sue.
原来你们在派对中
Oh! It's a party.
抱歉打扰到你们
I'm so sorry to interrupt,
但我收件箱满满是
but my inbox is filling
各种措辞强烈的电邮
up with some very strongly-worded e-mails.
好 玩家们又对啥不满了
Right. Yeah, what are the players upset about now?
实际上 这次是玩家的父母
It's actually-- it's the parents of the players.
他们解除不了家长管制
They can't undo the parental control,
而他们孩子因为玩太久了
so their kids are getting locked
所以被系统锁死不能玩
out of the game after too many hours of play.
而且看他们语气
And it seems like
这些家长不想干的事就是照顾孩子
the one thing that parents don't like to do is parent.
这令人深思
Which, you know, kinda makes
他们当初又为什么要生孩子
you wonder why they had kids in the first place.
好的 谢谢你 Sue
Okay, so-- Well, thanks, Sue.
我们会解决的 拜拜
We'll just take care of it. All right, bye-bye.
好 David 但抱歉 David
Okay, David. Sorry, David.
最后一件事 - 嗯
Just one last-- -Yeah.
这时能给我们好名声的 就是那10万捐款
What might get us some goodwill is that $100,000 donation.
Sue 我们不会捐钱了
Actually, Sue, we're not gonna be donating the money anymore.
但David会奉上他左边眉毛
But David will be donating his left eyebrow.
等等 有办法了
Wait a second. That's it, yes. Yes!
我们再战一场
Okay, let's play again.
我赢了 我们捐20万
And if I win, we donate $200,000,
我输的话 我把另一边眉毛也剃了
and if I lose, I shave off my other eyebrow. Huh?
我不想赌眉毛了 我要赌你的眼睫毛
I'm done dealing in brows. I want your lashes.
我
I--
那好 来赌眼睫毛 再战
All right, fine. You can have my eyelashes. Deal. Let's do it.
不要 David - 成交
No, David! -Deal!
David 眼睫毛是你的第三好特征啊
David, your eyelashes, they're your third-best feature.
Sue 我们要走了 再见 - 不
Okay, Sue, we gotta go. Take care. -Don't--
Carol 你好吗
Yo, Carol. What's up?
别用裤裆向着我 Ian
I'm gonna need less crotch, Ian.
抱歉
Oh, sorry.
我很少听人这么说 说笑的
I don't hear that very often. I'm just kidding. That's a joke.
好了 我致电是因为收到些
Okay. So, I'm calling because I've received some reports
关于怪异行为的报告
about bizarre behavior.
这是游戏界 Carol
Well, it is the video game industry, Carol.
在这范围的神经病可多了
There are a lot of nuts there,
而且他们可能随时爆发
and they're probably ready to crack.
不过 我特别担心的
Although, one person in
是Poppy
particular that I'm worried about is Poppy.
我挂保证她有问题
There's something going on there, I can tell.
那些报告举报的是你
The reports have been about you.
Ian 你不可能传私人视频给员工们
Ian, you can't send personal videos to your employees
而且还写着「必须观看」
with the subject line "Mandatory Viewing."
那些是有启发性的 - 真？
Well, those are meant to be inspiring. -Really?
Sometimes everything is wrong
《Everybody Hurts》
When your day is night alone
Hold on
Hold on
我是在向他们传达
Yeah, I'm showing people that
我们在共度这个时刻 而且大家都心灵受创
we're all in this together and that everybody hurts.
Ian 要是你是真的想帮大家
Ian, if you wanna actually help people,
你得作出一些牺牲
you're gonna have to make a sacrifice.
例如捐点你肯定有的钱
Maybe give away some of that money you clearly have.
我愿意啊 但钱不是大家现在想要的
I'm happy to do it, but that's not what people want right now.
他们需要的是希望 钱并不是很重要
They want hope, because money is not that important.
没钱的人需要呀！
It is to people who don't have it!
我没空理这种扯淡了
You know what? I ain't got time for this shit, okay?
我得同时照顾你们这些大孩子
I gotta babysit y'all and
还得在家教自己孩子？ Carol做不到
homeschool my own kids at the same time? Carol can't.
你知道他们改了数学课程吗
Did you know they changed math?
他们就突然改了怎么算数的方法
They just up and changed how you do math.
我受够了
I'm done, okay?
要不要穿上衣
So, wear a shirt, don't wear a shirt.
喝个烂醉 做200下掌上压
Get hammered and do 300 push-ups,
放上油管 我不管了
put it on YouTube. I don't care.
抱歉 Carol 我想我把你静音了 - 妈咪 你在哪
I'm sorry, Carol. I think I muted you. -Mom, where are you?
你是说了什么吗 你刚说了啥
Did you say something? Did you say something there?
我来了 工作面对的是群孩子 在家对的也是 地狱啊
I'm coming. Goddamn kids at work, kids at home. Oh, hell.
成了 爽
Yes! Fuck yeah!
做到了 我做到了 我做到了
Did it! I did it! I did it!
我完成「血海」疫苗了
我现在要干什么
去洗个澡 你赶工完了
别工作了 停手
我在想我可以
看着那个
Okay, look at the video
在左下的视频标志 然后点击它
icon on the bottom left and then click that.
对 在这
Yes. Here.
对对 我见到你了 完美
Yes, yes, I can see you. Perfect.
等等 我听不到你的声音
Wait, I can't hear you.
不不不 没声音
No, no, no. There's no audio.
好了 把那个解除静音键按了 在左下的
Okay, click the unmute button, bottom left.
不不不 那是FaceTime语♥音♥ 别
No. No, no. This is an audio FaceTime. Don't--
你看到我了吗 我刚脸书你了
Do you see me now? I just Facebooked you.
你按错键了
Okay, you pressed the wrong button.
专心在一个软件
Let's just stick to one app, okay?
我给你传短讯 - 不 C.W. 别传短讯
I'll text you. -No, C.W., don't text me.
等一下 别挂线
Just a minute. Hang on.
不 别传短讯
No, don't text--
别按任何键了 - 啥 哦是这 我试试
Just stop pressing buttons! -Huh? Oh, here! Let me try this!
不 - 这好多了
No. -That's better!
你为什么在另一边
What are you doing on the other side?
等等 我试试别的
Hold on. Let me try something else.
停手 啥都别按
Just stop-- No! Just stop pressing buttons!
如何 有好点吗 - 就这样别动了
How's that? Is that better? -Just leave it the way it is!
这要逼疯人 真的是
This is insane. This is truly--
我见到你了 你见到我吗
Hey, I see you. You see me?
不行 我是说见到你了 但你是熊猫
No, I mean, yeah. Sure, but you're a panda.
我是什么 - 熊猫
A what? -A panda!
熊猫
A panda?
你肯定按错了键
You must've pressed the wrong button, okay,
因为你一直乱按
because you were just pressing buttons.
等等 有回音
Wait, wait, wait. There's an echo. Yeah.
回音 回音 回音 回音 你没听到回音吗
Echo. An echo. Echo, echo. Don't you hear that echo?
我听到啦 别说话了
Yes, I hear it. Just stop talking!
你说话时倒是没回音
You know, it doesn't echo when you talk.
闭嘴 听我的话 看着摄像头
Just stop talking and listen and look at the camera.
哪个 - 就那一个 熊猫那个
Which one? -The only one! The panda one.
我不想当熊猫
I don't wanna be a goddamn panda!
你是个科幻作家
Science-fiction writer.
你怎么会不懂用手♥机♥的
How do you not know how to just use a cell phone?
我传真你好了 - TMD
I'll fax you. -Goddamn it.
C.W. 不要 给我回来
C.W., do not-- Get ba-- Get back he--
要疯了
This is insa--