神话任务：群鸦盛宴（2020）

有 比如那天那个
Yeah. There was one you had the other day.
增加山丘巨魔踢腿范围的那个
It was, like, about increasing the hill trolls' kick radius.
你记忆力真好
You have a really good memory.
谢谢
Thank you.
是你的点子太棒了 你也是
Your ideas are just really good. So are you.
我要我的饮料
Need my shit.
也许你该回到工作中去 因为…
You should probably get back to work, because, you know,
他们会追踪我们的眼球
they track our eyeballs.
当然…对 好主意
Sure, sure. Yeah. That's a good idea.
好 看招 小贱♥人♥
Yeah, take that, you little bitch.
这真是我做过最棒的工作了
This is the best job I've ever had.
是啊
Yeah.
布莱德 我需要你的帮助 我想把铲子泄漏给多边形公♥司♥
Brad, I need your help. I wanna leak the shovel to Polygon.
然后所有的评论家都会爱上它 一定会
And then when all the critics love it, which they will,
他们就会写它的文章 然后艾恩就无法改动它了
they'll write about it, and then Ian won't be able to change it.
很狡猾啊 我对你另眼相看
Very Machiavellian. I'm impressed.
我总是会提前三步想问题
Well, you know, I'm always thinking three steps ahead.
“提前三步”？那可够多的
What, "three steps ahead"? Hey, that's a lot of steps.
-是 可以给你再来一步… -别再靠近了
-Yeah, I'll go you one step-- -Don't get any closer.
抱歉 我会去调整铲子的触觉反馈 这样当玩家挖到…
Sorry. I'm gonna tweak the haptic feedback so that when you hit the--
我对这些都不在乎 好了 我赞同你的计划
I don't really care about any of that. All right, I'm in on your plot, okay?
但你若想让人们喜欢你的铲子 不要去找评论家
But if you want people to like your shovel, forget the critics.
你只需讨好一个人
There's only one person you need to appeal to.
对
Yeah.
不是…
Not...
-臭臭鞋？ -臭臭鞋
-Pootie Shoe? -Pootie Shoe.
-臭臭…鞋 -鞋
-Pootie, Pootie, Pootie... Shoe. -Shoe.
（野兽模式开启）
Hey, guys! This is Pootie Shoe.
大家好 我是臭臭鞋
我要向臭臭美眉们和臭臭哥哥们问好
Wanna say hello to all my Pootie-cuties and my Pootie-dudies,
当然还有所有非异性恋的臭臭彩虹们
and of course all of my LGBTQ Pootie-fruities.
-我讨厌臭臭鞋 -对 他是个真正的人♥渣♥
-I hate Pootie Shoe. -Yeah, he's a real piece of shit.
但他是有超过一千万粉丝的人♥渣♥
But he's a piece of shit with over ten million followers,
如果他喜欢你的铲子 你就不用担心了
so if he likes your shovel, you're good to go.
是…但他是个14岁的小男孩
Yeah, yeah, but he's a 14-year-old boy.
你认为他真的能理解那些细微的差别吗？
Do you think he's really gonna understand the subtle nuances?
如今的14岁孩子比你想象中有见地得多
Fourteen-year-olds these days are much more savvy than you think.
-你的铲子特别棒 对吗？ -对 当然了
-Your shovel's incredible, right? -Yeah, absolutely.
-那臭臭鞋就是你要找的人 -你能做个收尾吗？
-Then Pootie's your man. -Can you wrap it up?
妈 搞什么？我在直播 妈
Mom, what the fuck? I'm streaming, Mom.
好吧 你不能暂停或…
Okay, well, can't you just pause it or...
不 不能暂停 现在正面对一千万观众呢
No, I can't pause it. It's in front of ten million fucking people right now.
-那好吧 -出去 快点
-All right then. -Get out. Scram!
-男生 -快滚出去
-Boy. -Get the fuck out!
你想要在朋友们面前显得很重要 我懂的 好吧
You're trying to act important in front of all your friends. I get it. Okay.
嗨 很抱歉 刚才的事很不好
Hi, sorry about that. That was not chill.
我妈妈有时很令人抓狂
My mom can be a little bit frustrating sometimes,
但总的来说 她是位优秀的员工 也是位伟大的妈妈
but overall, she's a great employee, and she is a great mom as well.
挖…明白我的意思了吗？
Dig, dig, dig, dig. Do you get my point?
铲子很无趣 但是这里还有别的东西
The shovel's just kinda boring, but there is something here.
你认为这样…
What do you think about...
这不太对吧 大卫？
It's not quite right, is it, David?
我感觉也许应该加入几个捅刺的动作
I feel like maybe I wanna try a couple stabby motions as well.
对 那样很好
Yeah. Yeah, that's great.
这些我都很喜欢
I'm loving all this.
喜欢你做的这些改动
You noodling and everything.
一点意见 我担心时间
Quick thing. I'm worried about the time.
大卫 我的动作已经做到最快
David, I'm moving as fast as I can.
这些西瓜 没有像真正的头一样爆掉不能怪我
It's not my fault these watermelons don't explode like real heads.
我可以弄来真正的头
I can get you real heads.
不是人头
Not human.
-这就叫投入 -乔 请不要给他弄来头
-That's commitment. -Jo, please don't get him heads.
无论是不是人头 你在那里做什么？
Human or otherwise. What are you even doing out there?
-我在协助艾恩 -你是我的助理 来协助我
-I'm assisting Ian. -You're my assistant. Assist me.
-大卫 怎么回事？ -难以置信
-David, what's going on? -Unbelievable.
出什么事了？
What is happening?
我的助理当着整个团队的面欺负我
My assistant is emasculating me in front of the entire team,
-就是这么回事 -不…我是说…这样吧
-that's what's happening. -No, no, I mean in-- You know what?
-艾恩 -嗨 波比
-Ian. -Hey, Poppy!
-你在做什么？ -好消息
-What are you doing? -Good news.
我把铲子变成一把武器了 现在它有双重功效
I have turned the shovel into a weapon, so now it's a dual-purpose.
这才是玩家会买♥♥的物品 看这个
This is something that people are gonna buy. Check this out.
还不是很到位 但是接近了
It's not quite right, but I'm close.
我不确定它是否…它是否应该…
I just, I'm not sure if it's like a... if it should be a--
也许来个向上挥的动作？
Maybe it's an uppercut motion?
不 我不想让铲子去杀人 我只想让它挖掘用
Yeah, no, I don't want the shovel to kill people. I just want it to dig.
“挖掘”？你知道 这种物品的TTP是多久吗？
"Dig"? Do you have any idea what the TTP on an item like this is gonna be?
-知道 大约会是… -“TTP”就是出现老二的时间
-Yeah, it's gonna be like-- -"TTP," guys, is "time to penis."
即玩家用一个新物品弄出老二的时间
It's the time it takes for a player to use a new item to make a penis.
是 我知道TTP是什么
Yes, I know what TTP is.
大卫 别解释男性术语了
Yeah, David, stop mansplaining.
玩家不会用它弄老二的 艾恩
They're not gonna make dicks, Ian.
给玩家一把铲子 他们会挖出老二
You give the public a shovel, they dig dicks.
给他们一支笔 他们会画出老二
You give them a pen, they draw dicks.
给他们黏土…
You give them some clay...
绝对会雕塑出老二
Definitely gonna sculpt dicks.
艾恩 请让我的助手到控制室来好吗？
Ian, would you please tell my assistant to get into the booth.
我不会对女性说该做什么 我让她们去做自己的选择
I don't tell women what to do. I allow them to make their own choices.
-谢谢 -不客气
-Thank you. -Yeah, absolutely.
艾恩 玩家不会用铲子弄出老二来的
Ian, they're not gonna turn them into dicks.
我其实要限制铲子使用次数来阻止他们
I'm gonna actually put a limiter on it so they can't.
有规则的铲子 真是太酷了
Shovel with rules. That's really cool.
对 在游戏里 尽可能多地加入规则吧 超级有趣的
Yeah, let's put as many rules in the game as we can. That's super fun.
你能让他别把铲子变成武器吗？
Can you tell him not to turn it into a weapon?
-大卫… -我无法让他去做任何事
-David, David, David. -I can't tell them to do anything.
波比
Poppy.
我们为什么都在这里？
Why are we all here?
天啊 他要发表演说了
Oh, my God, he's gonna give a speech.
你这样不仅让我们 失去了开♥发♥新想法的乐趣
You are not just denying us an opportunity to play.
你也让那位八岁的玩家失去了乐趣 我认为…
You are also denying that eight-year-old boy. And I just think--
她把我变成侏儒了 对吗？ 把我变回骑士
She turned me into the gnome, didn't she? Turn me back to the knight.
-大卫 不要 -大卫 把我变回去
-David, don't. -David, switch me back.
-大卫 不要 -大卫 把我变回去
-David, don't. -David, switch me back.
-不要 -大卫
-No. -David.
-大卫 -把我变回去 大卫
-David. -Switch me back, David.
-大卫…不要 -请把我变回去 大卫
-David. David! David, no. -Switch me back please, David!
感觉就像又卷入了父母的离婚之中
I feel like I'm in the middle of my parents' divorce again.
我被迫要选择阵营
And I'm forced to take sides.
我知道你要说什么 我的工作就是要选择阵营 我是老板
I know what you're gonna say. It's my job to take sides. I'm the boss.
但这些创意人才让我感觉自己不是老板
But it's like all these creative types,
they make me feel like I'm not the boss.
也许这是因为我妈曾对我说 我没有创意、没有天赋
And maybe that's because my mom told me I'm not creative or talented,
我爸醉得太厉害 没法反驳她
and my dad was too drunk to stand up to her.
天啊 我不知道该怎么办了
Oh, God, I don't know what to do.
你能告诉我该怎么办吗 卡萝？
Would you just please tell me what to do, Carol?
我不知道 大卫 因为我不是治疗专家
I don't know, David, because I'm not a therapist.
这里是人力资源部
This is Human Resources.
对…
Right, right.
但也许你能帮我一下？
But maybe you could just help me out?
好…你是如何管理的？
Okay, okay. What's your management style?
可以说…我像一个管弦乐队的指挥
Well... I'd say I'm kinda like a conductor of an orchestra.
我不知道如何演奏乐器 我也不懂音乐
I don't know how to play an instrument and I don't understand music,
但是似乎当我在空中挥舞双手
but it's like when I wave my hands in the air,
一切就都水到渠成了
it just kinda all comes together.
好吧 不 指挥不是那样的
Okay, no, that's not what a conductor does.
-不是吗？ -比那要复杂得多
-Is it not? -It is much more complicated than that.
我不知道 我从未去听过交响乐
I don't know. I've never been to a symphony.
我母亲说那会令我太过多愁善感 我爸也同意
My mother said it was gonna make me too soft, and then my dad agreed.
其实在这件事上他们的意见总是一致的
Actually, that is one thing they always agreed about.
天啊 我们应该聊聊这个
Oh, my God. We should get into that.
你看 光是说出来我就有一点…
See, even saying it I'm getting a little...