鲍勃大卫二人秀（1995）

呃 根据加州法律
Um, according to the California State law,
车主只需摇下两英寸的车窗即可
you only need to roll down your window two inches
以便于沟通交流和检查证件
to facilitate conversation and passage of documents.
能 - 警官 你是在指控我犯罪吗
Can... - Am I being accused of a crime, Officer?
没有 请出示一下你的证件
You are not. Can I see your documents, please?
请你出示一下证件
Could I see your documents now?
警官 您为什么扣留我
Why am I being detained, Officer?
公民有权知道拘留原因
You have a legal right to know why you're being detained.
不 不 只是例行的酒驾检查
No, no, just a routine sobriety check.
事实上 我本来打算给你放行
I was gonna wave you through, actually,
可我刚看见你在路上左右穿行
but then I saw you weaving in the lane,
呃 就猜你可能
and, uh, thought you might
在摆弄你的 你的手♥机♥
be fiddling with your... your cellphone.
好 这是我的 呃 驾照和行驶证
Okay. Here's my, uh, license and registration.
依照法律 我只需出示这些
This is all I'm required by law to show you.
当然 好的
Sure. Yep.
依照法律 车主只需出示驾照和
That is all you're required by law to show, your license and...
好 看起来一切正常 先生 你可以离开了
Well, everything seems to be in order, sir. You're free to go.
嗯
Um...
往前开吧 祝你愉快
You move along and have a nice day.
好的 - 谢谢 十分感谢
Okay. - Thank you. Thank you so much.
好的 额 有些时候
Okay, well, sometimes they're...
嗯 有些警♥察♥是新来的
Uh, some of these officers are new
还不太清楚他们应该做些什么
and don't know the exact concept of what they're supposed to do.
额 所以
Uh... so...
好的 依照法律
Okay, you are legally
遇到检查站时 车主必须靠边停车
required to pull over at all police checkpoints,
停车以后 你的权利就开始起作用了
but once you do, that's when your rights come into play.
看好了
Let's watch this now.
驾照和行驶证
License and registration...
我 我刚刚 是不是见过你
I... I mean, didn't I... Didn't I just see you?
好的 额 如果你刚好开着车窗
Okay, um, if you've accidentally left your window down
就像我一样
as I just have,
你有权再把它摇上去
you are legally allowed to roll it back up
摇到加州法律规定的两英寸即可
to just the two inches required by California State Law.
先生 你不用检查 你可以直接通过
Sir, you're free to go through. You can go right on through.
嗯 好的 警官 我很乐意配合
Uh, okay, I'm cooperating fully, Officer.
驾照和行驶证 - 好的 不 不需要 谢谢
License and registration. - Okay, no, that's fine, thank you.
我已经检查过了
I... I've seen those already.
所以你可以往前开 祝你今天愉快愉快
So you can just move along and have a nice day, okay?
好的 警官 可法律没规定我拥有愉快的一天
Okay, I'm not required to have a nice day, Officer.
是的 你不配 额
No, I suppose you're not. Um...
你需要帮助吗
Do you need help?
不 谢谢 警官
No, thank you, Officer.
如果我没犯法的话
If I'm not being accused of anything,
那我有权自我保释并离开
then I should be able to leave on my own recognizance.
当然 - 在 呃 在Dempsey案中
Sure. - In the, um, case of Dempsey...
好吧 先生 能不能往前开 后面还有很多车
Well, sir, could... Please move along. I've got a lot of cars...
好吧 能问你个问题吗
Yeah. Can I ask you a question?
你是新来的吗 还是你想要
Are you new here or do you need...
不 我不是新来的 我只想说
No, I'm not new. I'm just saying...
好的 我是Gilvin Daughtry
Okay, this is Gilvin daughtry
给大家带来新一集的权利小科普
with another Know Your Rights video.
天赋人♥权♥ 了解了才能用起来
You've got rights. You need to know when to use 'em.
他妈的
God damn it!
好的 酒精味
Okay. Liquor smell.
好了
All right.
还有 呃 这样就行了
And, uh... this would do it.
好了 出发
Okay... Here we go.
不 先生 往前开
No, sir, move along.
警官 警官 - 怎么了
Officer, Officer. - Yeah.
嗨
Hi!
别糊弄我 先生 我可不会上钩 好吗
I'm not buying it, sir. I'm not biting, okay?
不跟你开玩笑 请往前开 往前
Seriously, we gotta move along. Let's go.
呃 警官 你最好检查一下我的尾灯
Uh, you might wanna check my rear taillight, Officer.
对 修 修好它 好吗
Yeah, get that... Get that fixed, okay?
你检查了吗 看清楚怎么回事了吗
Did you check? Did you see what happened?
我知道 裂了条缝
I saw. There's a crack there.
所以 修好它就行了
So, you could just get that fixed.
哦 警官 要我说可不止一条缝哦
Oh, I'd say there's more than a crack, Officer.
瞧好了
Here we go!
先生 我充分相信你有能力处理这一问题
Sir, I'm confident that you can remedy the situation.
所以 呃 往前开 好吗 - 别呀 拜托
So, just, uh, move along please, okay? - Come on. Please.
好吧
All right.
搞毛啊
What the fuck?
你好 兄弟
Hello, brother!
需要我做些什么 - 不 Jerry
How could I be of service to you today? - No. Jerry!
这就是老来耍你的那个家伙吗
Is this the guy that's been dicking you around?
没错 - 下午好 先生
Yeah. - Good afternoon, sir.
我们在干正事呢
We got a job to do here.
好的 警官 我很乐意配合
Okay. Officer, I'm fully cooperating.
驾照和行驶证 - 是吗 那配合一下这个
License and registration... - Yeah? Cooperate with this.
哦 天哪 - 好了 请下车 先生
Oh, God! - All right, step out of the car, sir.
请你下车 好了 咱们来了结一下
If you could just step out... Now, let's get this undone.
怎么样 舒服吗 来吧 - 等一下 不 终于来了
Yeah! That feel good? Come on. - Wait! No! Finally, here we go.
哦天 眼睛好疼
Oh, God, it stings. Okay!
警官 我在全程录像 好吗
Officer, I am taping this interaction. Okay?
好
Okay.
哦 老天 妈的
Oh, Jesus! Shit!
哦 骂脏话是可以的
Oh, it's okay to swear.
公民有权骂脏话 哦 天哪
You have a legal right to swear. Oh, God!
录得还可以吧
his taping going all right?
公民有权呕吐
It is in your right to vomit...
呕吐完全没问题 - 先生
it's completely okay. - Sir?
而且你无须控制自己的肠胃
And you do not have to control your bowels.
依据梅内德斯条款
That's the Mendeznez clause.
你能小点声吗 我们正在
Could you keep it down a little? We're trying to...
我们正在疏通拥堵呢
We're trying to clear the traffic out there.
哦 拜托
Oh, for God's sake.
当心靴子
Watch your boots.
真恶心
Yuck!
我是Gilvin Daughtry
This is Gilvin Daughtry...
为你带来权利小科普 本次节目就到这里
for Know Your Rights video saying, that's a wrap!
好吧
Okay.
你好啊 Jacobs先生
Greetings, Mr. Jacobs.
欢迎来到我的岛屿
Welcome to my island.
Sherman博士 发生什么事了 我们为啥在这儿
Doctor Sherman, what's going on? Why are we here?
我这辈子 捕杀过各种野禽猛兽
I have hunted, in my lifetime, every big game known to man,
从巨型黑犀牛到凶猛的孟加拉虎
from the behemoth black rhino to the ferocious Bengal tiger.
无一例外 除了一种
Every game, save for one.
人类
The human animal.
对
Yeah!
对 真是个好主意
Yeah, that's a great idea!
因为 你从未
Because, you've never...
等一下 你
Wait a second. You...
你想谋杀我 你个禽兽
You mean to murder me? You monster!
冷静 Jacobs先生 这算不上 - Ken Ken
Calm down, Mr. Jacobs, it's hardly... - Ken, Ken.
Ken 好 行
Ken, yes, fine!
这算不上谋杀
It's hardly murder.
如果连个逃跑的机会都不给你
What fun is there for me if
对我而言又有什么乐趣呢
I don't give you at least a sporting chance?
为此 我决定退让一步
And to that end, I have given myself a handicap.
我就用区区一颗子弹
I will have but one, single bullet.
哇
Wow.
你觉得这算逃跑吗
You call this sporting?
我舟车劳顿 而你整装待发
With me travel weary, you rested and sharp,
不用十五分钟 我就会死 你我心知肚明
I'll be dead within 15 minutes and we both know it.
你不如直接毙了我
Why don't you just shoot me now?
好吧 杀你可不是重点 Jacobs
Well, that's not what this is about, Mr. Jacobs.
Ken - 行 是
Ken. - Fine. It's...