马尔科姆的一家（2000）

Malcolm in the Middle S01E02

Part 3 Sept. 11, 2023, 12:20 p.m.

容我想一下
Give me a minute to think.
靠姜还是老的辣
Damn, she's good.
他们崩溃了吗
Did they crack?
没呢 Dewey假装胃痉挛
Nah, Dewey faked a stomach cramp.
为他们赢取了点时间
Bought them some time.
好样的
Good man.
如果越战时能有你妈这样的人物
Man, if we would have had your mom in 'Nam,
河内广场现在就会有麦当劳的身影了吧
there'd be a McDonald's in Hanoi Square right now.
兄弟河内广场现在确实有麦当劳
Dude, there is a McDonald's in Hanoi Square.
没错
All right.
Franklin 我想点菜了
Franklin, I'm ready to order.
你确定吗先生
Are you sure, sir?
嗯在我们家有个不成文的规矩
Mm-hmm. You see, in our family we have a saying.
"过了一个小时就不用等了
''After an hour, eat without her.
时间越久出的事越大"
If it's any longer, something's wronger.''
简单易懂先生
Very catchy, sir.
当生活给你柠檬时去做柠檬汁吧 Franklin
Well, when life gives you lemons make lemonade, Franklin.
你们有柠檬汁吗
Do you have any lemonade?
没有先生
No, sir.
那有柠檬吗
Oh. Do you have lemons?
有的先生
Yes, sir.
在下杯酒里扔一个现在我听听你们的特色菜吧
Well, throw one in another martini and let's hear those specials.
她在做什么
What's she doing?
看不出来
Can't tell.
或许她走了
Maybe she left.
是我确定她是出去给我们买♥♥礼物了
Yeah, I'm sure she's gone out to buy us all presents.
万岁
Hooray.
外面太安静了
It's just too quiet out there.
快把我弄疯了
It's driving me crazy.
也许我们应该再唱一会
Maybe we should sing some more.
闭嘴 Dewey
Shut up, Dewey.
我很好奇这些瓷砖上有多少个孔
I wonder how many holes are up in those tiles.
1 86,480个
1 86,480.
你把它们全数了一遍吗
You counted all those?
没啊你只要数一块砖横纵的孔数
No, you just count one tile's holes across and down.
乘在一起再乘上瓷砖的数量
Multiply it, then multiply it again by the number of tiles.
你越来越爱做这个了
You're doing that more and more.
做什么
Doing what?
锻炼大脑
That brain thing.
你会变得更聪明更怪异吗
Are you just going to keep getting smarter and weirder?
不知道
I don't know.
你能慢点吗
Well, can you tone it down a little bit?
因为我不想再打那些找抽的货了
'Cause I can't keep up with all these butt-kickings.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
我每天至少要揍两个
Well, at least twice a day I have to whoop-ass...
乱叫你怪胎的家伙
on some kid calling you a weirdo.
说实话累死了
Honestly, it's exhausting.
你揍他们是因为他们叫我怪胎
You beat up people 'cause they call me a weirdo?
上个家伙他自己也是个怪物
The last kid, he was a freak anyways.
他完全没有立场起绰号♥啊
He was in no position to throw out names.
谢谢
Thanks.
为什么
For what?
没什么
Nothing.
嘿
Hey.
知道我在想什么
What am I thinking right now?
我只是聪明但没有超能力
I'm smart. I'm not psychic.
你能知道狗狗在说什么吗
Can you understand what dogs are saying?
不能
No.
我能
I can.
哦孩子们
Oh, boys
我不知道是谁在教唆你们死不认账的
I don't know who put you up to this sticking-together garbage,
但我很不爽
but I don't like it.
所以是你们逼我把事做绝的
Therefore, you have forced me to do something terrible.
对这个珍贵的家庭成员说再见吧
Say good-bye to a cherished family member.
到底是谁
Who?
别这样
No!
妈别这样 - 啊啊
Mom, no! - Uh-uh-uh.
你们敢
Don't you dare.
一动都别动
And don't move a muscle.
嗨 Lois
Hi, Lois.
Ed 现在已经九点了
Look, Ed, uh, it's 9:00.
我正忙着呢
I'm a little busy right now.
就是这个问题
You see, there is the problem.
已经晚上九点了我还一直听到叫喊声
it's 9:00 at night and I keep hearing screaming.
这回和你平常的喊声不太一样
Now this didn't sound like your normal screaming.
更像杀猪般的尖叫
It was more like killing screaming.
我并不是爱抱怨的人
I'm not one to complain--
这就是我们喜欢你的原因
That's why we like you.
到你们房♥间去
In your room now.
你这不错啊
Nice place you got here.
谢谢先生
Thank you, sir.
我喜欢制♥造♥气氛
I like to, uh, create an atmosphere.
您用餐愉快吗先生
Did you enjoy your meal, sir?
如果四颗橄榄两颗洋葱
Well... if you can call four olives, two onions...
和很多酒精能称之为一顿晚餐的话
and a whole lot of alcohol a meal,
那就还不错
then, yes.
很好先生
Very good, sir.
呃
Uh...
你这古龙水专区都有什么
what have you got in the cologne department?
嗯您有什么特殊的要求吗
Um, were you looking for anything in particular?
我一直想试试代表我性格的香水
Well, I've been thinking about a signature scent.
我喜欢在我离开后人们会说
You see, I'd like to leave a room and have people say,
"天闻起来好像Hal来过"
''Boy, it smells like Hal in here''
不过
but...
是友善的评价
in a nice way.
好的
Right. Yeah.
让我想想你
Uh, let's see... you...
你突然让我想到
you strike me as a...
檀香
sandalwood.
檀香吗
Sandalwood, huh?
檀香
Sandalwood.
我们闻闻看请吧
Let's give it a smell-see, shall we?
哈
Huh?
是的
Yes.
相当不错
That's quite nice.
再来点
Hit me.
给
Here we go.
这真不错
Oh, that's... that is quite nice.
哦
Ooh!
你的技术很不错啊先生
You do a service to your craft, sir.
这家伙是个天才
This man is a genius.
自大的混♥蛋♥
Snooty bastard.
你会觉得这是最让人平等的地方吧
You'd think this place would be the great equalizer, huh?
即使是国王看起来也会像个傻瓜
You know, even a king looks like a fool...
在他上厕所的时候
when he's answering nature's call.
我说的对吗当然对
Am I right? Of course I'm right.
那么
Well.
很高兴
It's been a pleasure.
哦
Oh.
对不起
Sorry.
祝你晚上愉快
Have a good evening.
呃先生
Uh, sir.
嗯
Yes.
谢谢您对我的直视
Thank you for making eye contact with me.
孩子们我真不知道还能做什么
Boys, I just, I don't know what to do anymore.
我不想惩罚任何人
I don't want to punish anyone.
我只想知道真♥相♥
All I want is the truth.
我不知道事情怎么会搞成这样但我想快点结束
I don't know how things got this far, but I just want it to stop.
不行他们不会买♥♥账的
Naw, they'll never buy it.
天啊 Hal
Oh, my God. Hal.