星星之火

Little Fires Everywhere S01E05

Part 5 July 3, 2020, 3:13 p.m.

I think I got in my head a little bit.
我想我当时
You know, like, I think I was...
我不知道紧张之类的
I don't know. Like, nervous or something.
什么你在说什么
Wait, what? What are you talking about?
你以看《钟形罩》为乐
I mean, you read The Bell Jar for fun.
而我到现在都不知道什么是《钟形罩》
I don't even know what the fuck The Bell Jar is, still.
而且你
And you're...
真的很漂亮
really, really pretty.
我很开心你打来了电♥话♥
I'm glad you called.
我也是
Me, too.
我仍然不知道什么是直角三角形的斜边
I mean, I still don't even know what a fucking hypotenuse is, so...
我也有很多要学的东西
I still have a lot to learn, too.
米娅
Mia?
珀尔呢
Where's Pearl?
出去了
Out.
-谢谢 -你还好吗
- Thanks. - You good?
米娅
Mia?
什么事
Yeah?
你觉得我是否做了正确的选择
Do you think that I made the right decision?
只有你知道
Only you know that.
嗯但如果换做是你如果你是我
Yeah, but if you were in my position. If you were me.
我不是你
I'm not you.
你觉得我做错了吗
Do you think that I did the wrong thing?
你想知道我的看法
You want to know what I think?
我认为
I think...
我女儿为了帮你逃了课
my daughter skipped school to help you
而你感谢她的方式就是使用她的名字
and you thanked her by using her name
然后还要求她照顾你
and then demanding that she take care of you.
我给你做了两个月的晚餐在你家工作
I spent two months cooking your dinners, working in your house.
你连一句谢谢都没说过
You never so much as uttered a thank you.
而现在你想要更多
And now, you want more.
珀尔或许喜欢给予帮助你但我不
Pearl may love to give and give to you, but I do not.
我受够了
I'm done.
抱歉我没别的地方可去了
I'm sorry. I didn't have anywhere else to go.
你有很多地方可去有很多人关心你
You had plenty of places to go and plenty of people who care.
你根本不懂无依无靠的感觉是怎样的
You have no concept of what it's like to not have anyone.
别假装否定来侮辱你自己的智商
Don't insult your own intelligence by pretending otherwise.
喝完后自己把杯子洗了
When you're done, wash out your own mug.
好歹洗一次
For once.
我的天我感觉我们像是回到了大学
Oh, my God, now I really feel like we're in college.
不敢相信我们用袋子把它装起来了
I can't believe we're brown bagging it.
非法的事做起来才好玩
Ah, it's more fun when it's illegal.
还要喝多少杯你才会承认真♥相♥
So how many drinks are we gonna have before you admit the truth?
真♥相♥
Truth?
你为什么来我办公室
Why'd you really come by my office?
我说了我需要帮助
I told you, I needed help.
你为报社工作你不需要我
You work for a paper. You didn't need me.
我好吧
I...okay.
在我们经历了那一切后我想着
After all we've been through, I just thought that
也许我们应该把话说开
maybe we should clear the air.
我也说不好做朋友
And I don't know, be friends.
朋友
Friends?
好吧
Okay.
等等你在干嘛
Wait, what are you doing?
找车送你回家
I'm sending you home.
我报道政♥治♥新闻的时候被骗过够多次了所以
I get lied to enough covering politics, so...
别这样杰米
Come on. Jamie.
杰米
Jamie.
杰米
Jamie.
我我是想见你
I-I wanted to see you.
我想知道你的生活是怎样的
I wanted to know what your life looked like.
你对你选择的生活是满意还是
If you were happy with the life you chose, or...
就像某一天你大梦初醒发现一切都已尘埃落定
It's like, one day, you just wake up and it's settled.
你就是你
You are who you are, and...
你不记得是如何走到了这步
you don't remember how it got that way.
不记得什么时候做了决定
You don't remember deciding.
一切就已经这样了
It just happened.
我只是想知道你会不会回首过往
I just wonder if you ever look back at your life and...
怀有遗憾
have regrets.
因为我有我有遗憾
Because I do. I have some regrets.
和我一起回瓦里克酒店吧
Come back to the Varick with me.
什么
What?
天啊埃琳娜
Jesus, Elena.
当一个自恋狂是什么感受
What's it like being this much of a narcissist?
你知道世界不是围着你转的吧
You know the world doesn't actually orbit around you.
等等不是你约我去吃晚餐的吗
Wait, you're the one who asked me to dinner.
你你说你想小酌一杯
You-you-you said you wanted a nightcap.
那是因为我想看你会不会坦白
Because I wanted to see if you'd ever own up.
承担责任他妈的道歉
Take responsibility. Fucking apologize.
-是你甩了我 -你想提这事吗
- You broke up with me. - That's what you want to bring up?
分手
Our break-up?
我们那时就是小孩
We were fucking kids.
不我说的是你对我做的事
No, I'm talking about what you did to me.
-听着 -当你打电♥话♥来时
- Look, I-- - When you called this time,
我真的想知道你是不是变了
I truly wondered if you'd changed.
但你没变
But you haven't.
你还是那个过着可悲生活的可悲的人
You're still the same sad person living a sad life.
你按计划走下去了
You stuck to your plan.
但让你的生活好过一些不是我的责任
But it's not my job to make your life bearable.
下午4点15分
4:15 p.m.
埃琳娜是我瓦里克酒店啊
Elena, it's me. The Varick, huh?
我收到你的信息了想试试能不能打通
I got your message. Just trying you back.
收到后打给我办公室你平安到达就好
Call me at the office when you get this. Glad you made it safe.
下午7点13分
7:13 p.m.
我要回家了我不知道你在干什么
Hey, I'm headed home. Uh, I don't know what you're up to,
但我们可能得谈谈
but...we should probably talk.
晚上10点43分
10:43 p.m.
好吧
Okay, well...
我不知道发生了什么
I don't know what's going on.
但我很担心埃琳娜
But I'm worried, Elena.
我只是
And I just...
我不知道自己该担心什么
I don't know what I'm supposed to be worried about anymore.
-你没事吧 -没事
- Are you okay? - Yes, I am.
对不起宝贝
I'm sorry, baby.
我能问你个问题吗
Can I ask you a question?
当然
Of course.
你当时想生下我吗
Did you want me?
你怀上我的时候
When you had me?
珀尔
Pearl.
我想
I did.
我想你根本想象不到
I did. You have no idea.
你
You...
我非常想生下你
You were so wanted.
天呐好吧
Jesus, okay.
-你好女士 -你好
- Hi, ma'am. - Hi.
我刚才看到你在这里睡着了
I just saw you here sleeping.
我想确定你没事
I wanted to make sure you're all right.
很感谢你警官我只是在休息
Thank you so much, officer. I'm just resting.
-我要开很久的车才到家 -那好
- I have a long drive home. - All right.
但是你现在也许该开车走了
But you may want to move along now.
这一代不太安全
This isn't the safest neighborhood.
谢谢你
Thank you.
你在做什么
What are you doing?
你怎么在这儿
Why are you here?
出什么事了
What's going on?
快回答我莱克西
Fucking answer me, Lexie.
她一直追问我我一直在想
She keeps asking and asking me and I keep wondering.
我不知道
I don't know.
我不告诉她真♥相♥ 这样做对吗
Did I do the right thing, keeping the truth from her?
只有你知道
Only you know that.
秘密太多了小米