利门敦

that was regulated at the pharmacy.
补充剂窗口
补充剂能够让使用者
Now, the supplement allowed users
只会专注于特定的搭档
to focus their communication between specific partners.
不然你只能听到一片杂音和混乱
Without it, there was only noise and chaos.
这是一个很重要的伏笔
Now, this is important to remember for later.
对于没有植入物的人来说
For people without the tech,
药房♥只是药房♥
the pharmacy remained a pharmacy.
补充剂窗口
德尔德丽就是在这里遇到了第一个盟友
And that is where Deirdre met her first ally in isolation.
很老派
Old school.
什么
你用纸和笔把东西写下来
Writing things down. Pen and paper.
我是
And I'm...
斯宾塞
S-p-e-n-c-e-r
斯宾塞
对
Yeah.
你是干什么的
What do you do?
这个
我写我自己的小说
我丈夫保证这里的环境很完美
他安了吗
Did he deliver?
如果你想的话
If you want,
我们有一群不在名单上的
a group of us not on the list--
没有被选中的 我们会在一起
not picked--we get together
取笑那些
and make fun of all these...
蠢蛋
Dorks.
如果你想来
If you want to come.
也许吧
太好了
Cool.
回头见 老派小姐
I'm gonna see you around, old school.
如果在现实世界中
In the real world,
我觉得我和斯宾塞不会有交集
I don't think Spencer and I would have connected.
我们很不一样
We were so different,
但是在那里
But there...
我看得出来他很孤独
I could tell he was so lonely.
我也是
I was too.
-德尔德丽 我是哈维 -能听人说话真好
- Deirdre, this is Harvey. - It was nice to listen.
能被人聆听也真好
Nice to be heard.
当我问德尔德丽 与斯宾塞之间的关系
When I asked Deirdre if the relationship with Spencer
是否是男女之情 她否认了
ever became romantic she answered no
她的态度还是和采访中时一样
with the same sense of whimsy and detachment
冷漠和淡然
that I felt throughout her interview.
这让我想起了我爸爸曾经说过的话
It reminded me of something my father used to say.
创伤会击溃你的心墙
Trauma either cracks your walls
或者为你披上更厚的盔甲
or puts another coat of paint on 'em.
这个小组的壮大
The evolution of the group
也代表了他们之间的不同
exposed this difference between them.
德尔德丽会画画
Deirdre painted.
斯宾塞则会崩溃
Spencer cracked.
帅哥变成了被抛弃者的创始人
Daddy-O's became ground zero for the left-behinds.
我们还给自己想了一个名字 老派帮
We even came up with a name for ourselves--the Old School.
对我来说 那就像是群体治疗
For me, it was like group therapy,
但是对于斯宾塞来说
but for Spencer...
这是一个联盟
it became a union.
现在这种情况不对
It isn't right what's happening.
他开始执迷于这个想法
He became fixated on this idea.
所有人都很努力
Everyone working so hard,
但是只有一半的人得到了好处
but only half of us reaping the benefits.
这些混♥蛋♥现在都不和我们说话了
Those assholes won't even speak to us anymore.
他非常愤怒
He was so angry.
好像我们根本就不存在
It's like-- it's like we're not even here.
老派帮和那些植入科技的人
As the tension between the Old School
矛盾日益增长
and those with the tech escalated,
芬兰森医生向德尔德丽提出了一个提议
Dr. Finlayson made a proposal to Deirdre
打破了对照实验的所有规则
that seemed to break every rule of A/B testing.
在我看来
Speaking for myself,
他对此的解释
his explanation for doing so
完全罔顾了他个人
seemed to be in complete disregard
对于公正的坚持
of his character-defining objectivity.
单单用爱来解释他的决定
Love was not a good enough reason
并不足够
for his decision.
怎么了
你要安装植入物
不行
为什么
Why not?
因为我不想要
就算我想要
你根本不知道现在的情况
人们很生气 麦克斯
你是说那些老派帮的同志们吗
Oh, you mean your comrades in the Old School?
那些人吗
Those people?
只有我在阻止他们
全都发泄到你头上
要是你往我脑袋里也安装一个
你根本不知道
-我需要你这么做 -为什么
- I need you to do this. - Why?
因为我不希望失去你
Because I don't want to lose you.
看看我们 我们好像是陌生人
I mean look at us. It's like we're strangers.
我们好像都不会说同样的话语了
Like, we don't know any of the same words anymore.
你还记得你描述骑马的样子吗
Remember when you described riding a horse?
你感觉到和另一个生灵的连接
That connection you felt to another living creature?
你说这让你不需要说话就能感觉到
You said riding gave you a physical way of communicating
在动作上是和另一个生灵相通的
that didn't require signing or spoken words.
就是这样
It just was.
我希望你能变成这样 我希望我们能这样
I want that for you. I want that for us.
不能让其他人知道
我知道 这将是我们之间的小秘密
Oh, I know. It's gonna be our little secret, right?
我们偷偷地进行
We'll do it on the sly, all right?
我们今晚就进行手术
We're gonna do the surgery tonight.
就现在 快速结束
Now. Quick and easy.
除了你 我和奥斯卡以外 没人需要知道
Nobody has to know but you, me, and Oscar.
我要考虑一下
不 没时间了
No. There's no time.
我需要你
I need you.
求你了
我很想你
最想你
我希望你知道你在做什么 麦克斯
I hope you know what you're doing, Max.
她醒了
She's awake.
你还好吗
Hey. You all right?
没事的
It's all right.
没事的
It's okay.
我爱你
I love you.
我最爱你
I love you most of all.
你要知道 麦克斯是一个
The thing you have to understand about Max is...
他...
He...
总是超脱普通的层次
always operated on a different scale.
他不是打算更改我一个人
He wasn't trying to fix me.
他想把我们所有人都更改了
He was trying to fix all of us.
也许 有那么
And maybe, for a small,
一小段时间里
perfect window of time,
的确成功了
it worked.
好吧
Okay.
听到我丈夫的心声
To be able to hear my husband,
他也能听到我的心声
for him to be able to hear me,
这完全改变了一切
was completely transformative.
但是这种更好的感觉
But that feeling that this is better,
并没有持续太久
it didn't last long.
为什么
Why not?
这种技术会表达出你的想法
The tech expresses what you are thinking,
就像言语会表达出你的想法
like words express what you're thinking,
但是不会表达出你为什么会这么想
but not why you're thinking them.
这种技术的恐怖之处在于 它不会表达出理由
The horror of this technology is it gets rid of any pretense.
你时刻都暴露在外
You're exposed all the time.
麦克斯会在我生气之前就知道我生气了
Max knew I was angry before I even knew why I was angry.
你的脆弱会在你们俩之间
Your vulnerability is just bounced back and forth
反复游走
between the two of you.
我们都感觉到会发生不好的事
We both felt a disaster coming,
但我们不知道是会发生在我们还是这个镇子上
but we didn't know if it was in the town or with us.
到后来 事情变得越来越糟糕
Eventually, things became so bad
我们都无法共处一室
we couldn't be in the same room together.
无法在同一幢房♥子里