犹太媒婆（2023）

Jewish Matchmaking S01E02

Part 3 May 5, 2023, 3:33 p.m.

She said, "You might not feel fire in the beginning."
但我希望妳别太快下定论
试着多了解他”
"I want you to get to a neutral point where you wanna learn more about him."
你会去外面认识人吗?
Do you meet people out in the world?
我主要透过交友软体认识人
I've mostly met people through dating apps.
-你都认识了哪些人? -我想...
What have you been finding? - I've found--
应该说你想找怎样的人?
Or what are you looking for, actually?
这样问比较对
That's a better question.
这是个大问题
Ooh, that's a big question.
我觉得我想找...
I feel like finding somebody where there's the--
-谢谢 -尝尝吧
Thanks. - Yeah.
跟我有化学反应
可以彼此尊重
Um... Where there's both chemistry, the kind of respect.
和信任的对象
Mm. - But also the trust.
了解
Right. - Um...
我觉得符合这几点的人不太容易找
I think that's not such an easy combination to find.
-确实 -这些对我很重要
Yeah. - Those are the big things.
那妳呢?
So what about you?
我想找善良、体贴、有同情心的人
Someone that's very, like, kind and caring, compassionate,
可以当我的队友
and really just a teammate
和啦啦队,参与我人生中的一切
and a cheerleader for all of the things in your life,
不只是一部分
not just some of the things.
上个月是我这辈子最难受的一个月
So, even last month, I went through, like, the hardest month I ever had.
我生病了
I got sick,
我祖母健康恶化
and then my grandma declining.
然后我爸
And then my dad,
他本来就有帕金森氏症
he has Parkinson's. - Oh.
-但雪上加霜的是 -是的?他被诊断出第四期皮肤癌
But on top of that, he just got diagnosed with stage-four skin cancer.
这一切同时发生
It's just everything happened at once,
-人生就是这样,大家都会经历 -确实
which is life, and everybody goes through it.
但我发现自己连一个伴侣都没有
But, I'm like, okay, I don't even have a partner
没人支持我度过这一切
to support me through all of this.
我有一刻心想
And you have this moment where you're like,
“我是可以自己熬过去,但我不想”
"Yeah, I could do it alone, but I don't want to."
-我懂 -那是某种心境转变
Yeah. - It was, like, this shift.
住在这裡的几年来,我领悟了很多
And I... So many things I've learned from being here in the last few years.
老实说,我跟好几位女性♥交♥往过
To be honest, I've dated several women in the last...
从我2010年离婚后
since I was married until 2010.
-我不知道你结过婚 -没错
You were married. I didn't know. - Yeah.
我在2010年离婚了,然后...
And so, and divorced in 2010, and...
去了解什麽对我重要
Really, I mean, it's been useful to kind of get a better sense
-真的很管用
of what's important to me.
-没错
Yeah. - You know?
我釐清了很多事
And I have figured out a lot of things.
其中一点是
It certainly brought into focus that,
要是我有孩子就好了
you know, I wish I had children.
了解
Yeah.
我觉得从很多方面来说
I feel like, you know, in many ways,
对我而言重要的事
the things that are important to me
都跟生儿育女有关
are things that should be part of having a family.
-所以没有小孩让我有点遗憾 -了解
So not having one has always been a little sad, so...
-那妳呢? -你前妻不想生小孩?
What about you? - And your wife didn't want one, or...
-对 -了解
She didn't. - Oh, okay.
我必须说,如果知道现在会这麽难
I must say that I think if I knew it was gonna be this difficult now,
那我年轻点的时候就会生小孩
I think I would've had a child back then,
那样不论如何,我至少有个孩子
and whatever happened, I would've still had my child,
-没错 -像我现在
and the pressure that I put on myself to have one now is an age thing,
会因为年龄而给自己生子压力
and I don't ever want it to feel like that,
而我并不想要那样,但我始终...
but I was always meant...
想要有一个孩子
I was always meant to have one.
了解
Yeah.
艾莉莎在车裡那通电♥话♥给我的规矩,我全打破了
Okay, so every rule that Aleeza gave me in the car on the phone, I broke.
举凡前任、婚姻和孩子的话题
Exes, marriage, kids,
我都提起了
I brought up all of that.
所有她叫我不要做的事我都做了
Literally, every single thing she told me not to do is what I did.
也许这就是我还没结婚的原因
Maybe that's why I'm not married yet.
结过婚后
After being married, do you believe that there's multiple people
你认为自己有不只一个灵魂伴侣
out there for you, soulmate-wise,
还是只有那麽一个?
or do you believe in there is, like, "the one"?
我从来不认为只有一个
I've never really thought it was just there's one.
好的
Okay.
我想你得找个你想为之努力的人
I think you've gotta find somebody who you want to put the work in for.
对,但我之前一直不懂
Right, but I didn't know
是到了这个年纪才明白
that until I became, like, I think, this age.
我觉得我们
I feel like there was some
还算蛮有共鸣的
good start of a connection there.
回首成年的日子,我们都觉得
We both kind of look back at our adulthood and say,
要是有生儿育女就好了
"You know, I really wish
也想追求那样的生活
I'd had a family and could pursue that."
那还蛮...不晓得
That was really quite, I don't know,
听到她那样想让我感到被鼓舞和兴奋
encouraging and exciting to hear about her.
遇见唯一灵魂伴侣的想法
The idea of meeting somebody who's "the one,"
-感觉有点太理想化了 -没错
there's a great, kind of a hopefulness in that. Um...
我是务实的乐观主义者
I'm a realistic optimist.
-如果不觉得还能找到对的人... -我懂
I wouldn't do this if I didn't think… -I know.
我就不会来相亲了
there wasn't somebody else.
务实的乐观主义者
Realistic optimist.
-我觉得我也是 -好的
I feel like I'm the exact same way. - Yeah.
我觉得我们在知性方面很有共鸣
I feel like we connect on this intellectual level.
我们的对话很美好
We had such a beautiful conversation.
他还大老远飞来跟我见面
He flew all the way out here to meet me.
这种投入程度超越洛杉矶半数男人吧
I just... That's more commitment than half the guys, I feel like, in LA.
妳会想再见面吗?
So would you like to see me again?
我想再见到妳
'Cause I'd love to see you again.
-好啊 -好的
Yeah. - Okay.
也许我们可以做点别的事
Maybe we'll do something different,
更有加州味的活动
and like, you know, more California.
但我的这一块没什麽感觉
But I just... I didn't feel it in the... this area.
完全无感
At all.
该剪头髮了
Haircut time!
这没什麽用
那就拿掉吧
This is not doing what it's supposed to.
反正很不舒服
You know what? Take it off. It's very uncomfortable anyway.
-这... -只让我脖子流汗
It's-- - It's making my neck sweat.
(葛山,艾莉莎的丈夫)
我想也是
I figured.
-这样好多了 -好的
That's better. - Okay.
我可以剪多短?
Okay, how short can I go?
上面不要太短
Not too short on top
后面短一点,像妳喜欢那样
and short on the back, the way you like it.
我丈夫是我的完美类型
My husband is my perfect type.
别做鬼脸
Don't make a face. - Eeh!
我留了半年的头髮啊
Six months o' work!
我在2002年参加了一个度假营
I went on a retreat in 2002.
是犹太单身人士度假营
It was a Jewish singles' retreat.
别忘了,太长的话可以再修
Remember, you can always take more off later.
剪了就是剪了
You can't put it back?
我们在那裡认识
We met,
但各自去跟别人约会
but we ended up leaving and dating other people.
但我们都是费城人
But we were both from Philadelphia.
-别剪太短 -拜託
Not too short. - Please.
你头髮那麽多,我有得剪的
I still have, like, miles to go with your hair here.
后来在一个安息日结束的晚上,他问我
And he, one night after Shabbos, said,
想不想去散步?
"Would you like to go for a walk?"
我答应了
I said, "Yeah, that sounds great."
我知道你不喜欢,但我喜欢
I know you don't like it, but I like it, and I have to look at you.
而我得看着你,所以这样很公平
I think that it's only fair.
我们后来约了第二次、第三次
We went out on a second date and a third date,
三週后,他也会这麽告诉你们...
and, uh, three weeks later, he'll tell you, two...
-这不是妳的头髮 -也不是你的了
It's not your hair. - It's not yours anymore!
三週后,我们订婚
...three weeks later, we got engaged,
四个月后,我们结婚了
and four months after that, we got married.
谢了,亲爱的