犹太媒婆（2023）

I understand what Fay is going through
毕竟我现在以作媒为业
我有那个世界的人脉
because I live that lifestyle now, and I have a connection to that world.
你们家好美 -谢谢
Beautiful home. Thank you.
以前,我妈会代替我跟媒婆沟通
Earlier on, my mom would be the one speaking to the matchmaker on my behalf.
年纪稍长后
As I've gotten older,
我通常会自己跟媒婆沟通
I'm the one that speaks to the matchmaker, but they all know my mom and my dad
但他们都认识我爸妈和其他家人
and family.
告诉我,妳想为菲伊找到怎样的对象
Tell me a little bit about what you are looking for for Fay.
妳希望她找到怎样的人?
What do you hope she finds?
我希望对方一走进房♥间
Someone that, when he walks in the room,
她就面露喜悦,反之亦然
her face lights up, and vice versa.
她一走进房♥间,对方就面露喜悦
When she walks in the room, his face lights up.
太好了 -老天爷
Okay. - That's wonderful.
我妈超夸张,这种人是要去哪裡找
Thank God my mom's awesome. It doesn't make it difficult.
确实
I can tell.
说到这点,如果妳们没问题
So, on that note, if you're good,
我就先离开了
I would excuse myself
我想妳们单独谈会自在很多
'cause I think that the two of you would be much more comfortable
speaking alone.
需要我就叫一声,我会在厨房♥
If you need me, holler. I'll be in the kitchen.
好的 -好吗?
Okay. - Okay?
再见 -幸会,谢谢
Nice to meet you. Thank you.
我觉得我很特别,因为我心胸开阔
I think that I'm unique in the sense that I'm open-minded,
我算是“特立独行”
and I'm "out there," so to speak. I'm on Instagram in a very modest way,
我在IG上没有很活跃 我无疑具有很多面向
and I, you know, I definitely have a lot of parts of myself,
同时,我也怀抱坚定的宗教价值
um... and at the same time, I am really...
绝不妥协
I have strong religious values that I don't compromise on.
我想,要找到一个同样算是...
And I think that to find a guy that also, you know,
足够世俗化
is somewhat worldly enough
又与我怀有相同宗教价值的对象
and also, the religious values, that they're aligned with mine
是与众不同的要求
is a unique proposition,
绝对要花时间才能找到那个人
and it takes time to find that person.
我想一切都掌握在上帝手中
Like, it's all in the hands of God,
有些人要花久一点的时间
and some people, it takes longer.
有些人会遭遇比较多波折
Some people have more, you know, lumps and bumps on the way.
没错,先前只是时机不对 妳也没遇到对的人
Right. It just hasn't been your time. It hasn't been the right person.
只要人和时机对了,就会成功
When it is the right person and the right time, everything will work.
我也是这麽想
That's my perspective.
上帝希望你得到最好的 你会在对的时间找到对的人
That God wants what's best for you. You will get time to find the right one.
同意 -没错
Agreed. - Yeah.
正统派的男女都会有压力
There is pressure for men and women in the Orthodox community,
但我想情况还是不同
but I believe it is different.
我觉得女人的结婚压力较大
I believe women feel more pressure to get married
因为同样的年纪,女人会被认为老
because they are considered old
男人却不见得
at a younger age than men are considered old.
要不是考虑到生子问题
Whether that's for having-children purposes,
就是把大龄剩女看作社会耻辱
or whether that's just societal stigmas,
但我很清楚,假如时光倒♥退♥个五年
but I definitely know that, like, five years ago,
我一定也会觉得
if I would've thought,
“如果我28岁还单身,那简直是灾难
"If I'm 28 and single, that's gonna be a disaster
因为28岁真的很老”
because that's really old."
现在我28岁且单身 但我不觉得是灾难
Now that I'm 28 and single, I don't feel it's a disaster.
我想结婚
I would love to get married, and I plan to,
也计画要结婚 但我不觉得我成了什麽灾难
but I don't feel like I'm living in disaster territory.
再来多聊聊...
Let's just talk a little bit more about...
我要怎麽知道妳遇到了对的人?
how am I gonna know that you've met the right one?
妳有... -我会告诉妳
What are-- - I'll tell you.
好,挥动魔杖吧
Okay. Wave a magic wand.
那个人该是什麽样子?
What does... What does that look like?
我想最重要的是,对方要有好品格
So I think the main thing is somebody with good character.
(菲伊的条件:好品格)
有良好的人格特质
To have, like, really good middos.
善良、敏感
Kind, sensitive.
乐观、正向
An optimistic, positive person.
慷慨、谦虚
Generous, humble.
最重要的是
Most importantly is that his religious values
他要有与我一致的宗教价值
are aligned with mine.
我希望对方是全心全意的虔敬者
Somebody that is sincerely frum.
跟着祈祷班每天祈祷三次
Daven three times a day with a minyan,
会腾出时间学习
makes time to learn,
有研读《妥拉》的背景
has a background in Torah learning.
等一下,慢点 -好的
Hold on. Slow down. - Sure.
我是十足的正统派
I would call myself very Orthodox.
人们大概会认为那等于哈西迪教派
I think people think that that means Hasidic,
我并不认同
which I don't identify with,
但最能形容我是哪种正统派的词 就是虔敬者
but the best word to say, like, what type of Orthodox I am, is frum.
我知道这个词有点微妙
And I know that's a tricky word
人们会想怎样才算虔敬者
because it's like, "What's frum?"
但我们就会用这个词
But that's kind of the word we use.
好,妳想找一个全心全意的虔敬者
Okay, so in terms of somebody who's sincerely frum,
然后避免肢体接触
在结婚之前都不行
uh, shomer negiah, no touching for the entire relationship.
这样没错吧?
Mm-hmm. - Um... And that's where we're holding?
没错
Yeah.
先听我说,世界上的任何人
So, first of all, anybody in the world
都可以尝试避免肢体接触 只维持五次约会也行
can try being shomer negiah, even for five dates.
不要还没尝试就先下结论
Don't knock it till you've tried it.
这是其一,其二
That's number one. Number two,
我本身是在世俗家庭长大
后来才开始遵守教规
I myself grew up secular, became more observant.
在那之后,我也没什麽不适应
So when I became more observant, I was like, "Oh, hmm!"
我跟丈夫交往时
When I dated my husband,
我们第一次碰触就是在天棚下
the first time that we touched was under the chuppah.
他踩破玻璃杯
He breaks the glass, and he reaches over, and he holds my hand,
伸过手来握住我时,我觉得...
and I was like, "Oh!"
整个人都融化了
那种感觉比初吻还好
And I just melted. It was better than a first kiss.
比什麽都好
It was better than anything. It was just the first time
那是我们第一次有肢体碰触 感觉妙不可言
that we had ever connected, and it was incredible.
好,我们现在要谈一件很重要的事
Okay, now we have to talk about something really important.
我会告诉客户 请照步调慢的人的脚步走
I tell people that you can only move as fast as the slowest person
谈感情就要这样,懂吧?
in the relationship, right?
假设我们去散步或慢跑
You and I go on a walk or on a jog, right?
妳跑在前头,我却在后头气喘吁吁...
You are jogging. You are ahead, and I'm like...
我跟我好友散步时就是这样
That's me with my best friend when we go walking!
妳走在前头?好的
You're way ahead? Okay, great.
跑步或慢跑的时候,妳冲在前面
So, in running, you're ahead, right?In jogging.
但谈感情的时候...
But in terms of a relationship...
我想大部分是照我的步调走
I think, for the most part, it goes at... at my pace.
照妳的步调 -对
At your pace. - Yeah.
来聊聊“预产期”吧
So D.E.W. date.
不是妳以为的那种
Okay. Not this kind of due date.
我想也是
Okay, I didn't think so.
我指的是以下三件事的预产期
Okay, it goes like this. D-E-W.
那三件事分别是交往、订婚和结婚
D.E.W.It stands for dating, engagement, wedding.
我会要客户告诉我他们个人的时间表
I want the person that I'm working with to tell me their personal timeline.
你想现在开始交往吗?
Great, you wanna start dating now?
好,没问题
Good, no problem.
遇到完美对象了? 太棒了,恭喜,就这麽刚好
You meet your perfect person. Yay! Mazel tov, it just happened.
从交往到订婚要多久?
How long are we dating till we get engaged?
给我个时间表
Give me a timeline.
我觉得最快也要三个月
I think the fastest would be, like, three months.
恭喜,你们订婚了
Mazel tov, you're engaged!
你们做到了,好的
Yes! You did it. Okay. How long till you get married?
那多久后要结婚?
How long till you get married?
只要...我爸妈能搞定婚礼就行
As fast as, like, my parents could, like, figure it out.
以虔敬者来说,两週内可以办出婚礼
In the frum world you can make a wedding in two weeks.
也是啦,但不太行...
Right, I mean, no. You know, I mean,
我觉得两到三个月很合理
I think two to three months, it's a fair amount of time.
接着我会帮客户介绍对象
Then we'll bring somebody else
而对方会有不同的“预产期”
in with a different D.E.W. date,
于是得融合两人的时间表,并讨论
and then we're gonna smoosh 'em together and go, "Okay."
怎样才可行?