不良行为（2017）

我们试了那么多办法 没一个管用
So, we've got two choices
所以现在我们有两个选择
we sit back and watch Charlie die...
我们干坐着 看Charlie死去
or kidnap him and give him chemo until he's cured.
或者我们绑♥架♥他 给他做化疗直到他被治愈
What?! It's a piece of piss to administer.
什么 这事小菜一碟
Tube in the bag, other end of the tube in the arm.
管子一头连接袋子 一头接到手臂
Done and dusted. You've totally lost it.
就这么简单搞定 你真是疯了
No. It's called tough love.
不 这叫严厉的爱
Maybe if you and Charlie had tough loved me a bit more,
如果当初你和Charlie对我多一点严厉的爱
I wouldn't have wasted the last decade of my life.
我就不会浪费这过去十年
It is one thing to tell your mate that his wife's mental,
告诉朋友他的媳妇有病是一回事
it is quite another thing to commit a crime and go to prison.
犯罪进监狱就完全是另一回事了
What is the crime, saving his life?
犯什么罪了 救他的命吗
The CRIMES are abduction and kidnapping,
我说的犯罪是诱拐和绑♥架♥
and administering a substance against somebody's will,
违背他人意愿向其体内注入药物是犯罪
which, if it isn't a crime, really ought to be.
这些要还不是犯罪 那迟早都得是
Sure, but Charlie's not going to press charges, is he?
好吧 但Charlie又不会起诉我们啊 是吧
It wouldn't be up to Charlie!
这不是Charlie可以决定的
Fine, then we go to prison, but we save his life.
就算是这样 我们进监狱就是了 但我们救了他命啊
That's a small price to pay.
就付出这点小小代价
Depending how many years we spend in prison,
考虑到我们要在监狱里待好几年
it's actually quite a big price.
代价还是挺大的
If it wasn't for Charlie,
如果没有Charlie
I'd still be chucking 20s over a balcony in my pants.
我还穿着短裤在阳台上撒钱呢
He was there for me. He saved me.
他那时候在我身边 他救了我
Technically, WE saved you. Now it's my turn.
准确的说 是"我们"救了你 现在是我回报的时候了
This is a bit different, don't you think? No.
你不觉得这两件事有点区别吗 当然不
It's just mates being mates for their mates.
这是为兄弟两肋插刀的时候
You've got too much time on your hands.
你有大把好时光
You need to get a job and a life.
你应该去找个工作 开始生活
A life? A life is what Charlie needs.
生活 那正是Charlie需要的
I can't just drop everything to... Why not?
我不能抛下一切 为什么不能
You should be writing your book, living the dream,
你应该写你的书 实现自己的梦想
not flushing yourself down this soul-sucking toilet bowl.
而不是任由自己落入这吸食灵魂的抽水马桶
Just think about it.
你好好想一想
It's the perfect one-size-fits-all solution.
这是个完美且一举多得的万全之策
You'll write your book, Charlie won't die,
你写你的书 Charlie也死不了
and I'll pick up the tab.
而我就负责买♥♥单
Sorry, personal visits aren't permitted, I'm afraid.
抱歉 这里恐怕禁止私人会面
Miss Dyson's productivity is already at a dangerously low level
Dyson女士的生产效率已经极度低下了
due to the amount of time she spends writing robot porn.
鉴于她的时间一直用于写机器人色情小说
That's private and it's not porn, it's adult science fiction!
这是我自己的事 而且不是色情小说 那是成人科幻
The car's outside.
车子在外面
I'm going to save Charlie's life.
我要去拯救Charlie的生命了
I really need your help.
我真心需要你的帮助
Tess, help settle a bet.
Tess 你做裁判
You're the expert on having sex with machines
你在机器性♥交♥方面是专家
Danny and I were wondering which brand of kettle
我和Danny想知道哪个牌子的水壶
makes the most considerate lover.
才是最体贴的爱人
Actually, I wanted to let you know
实话说 我想让你们知道
that I'm leaving your shitty job in a fucking Bentley.
我他妈要搭一辆宾利 不干这个鬼工作了
Yeah? Yeah.
是吗 是的
My visitor that was my literary agent,
刚才的访客 是我的出版经纪人
and he's outside now with my new Bentley.
他现在在外面 坐着我的新宾利
Sure he is.
肯定是吧
And he's sold my novel for a seven- or eight-figure sum.
他以七八位数的价格卖♥♥出了我的小说
Which is it? Seven or eight?
到底是七位数还是八位数
It doesn't matter. It's just a great deal of money.
这不重要 就是一大笔钱
Well, it kind of matters,
嗯 还是有关系的
because the smallest eight-figure sum is 10 million.
因为最小的八位数是一千万
Are you getting 10 million pounds for your novel?
你的小说值一千万英镑吗
Quite possibly.
很有可能
You can all stop drinking from my Blade Runner mug.
你们没法再用我的银翼杀手马克杯了
You can stop dipping your fucking celery in my hummus, John.
你♥他♥妈♥也没法再用芹菜蘸我的鹰嘴豆泥了 John
FYI, I've been gobbing in it.
顺便说一句 我一直朝里头吐口水
And those Jaffa Cakes you've all been stealing
还有你们偷过的那些佳发蛋糕
I lick every one.
每一块我都舔过
Fuck you!
操
Joel!
Joel
You're going to do it?
你要加入吗
Yes! Come on!
棒 来吧
We're going to save Charlie.
我们要去拯救Charlie
Let me drive. What?
让我开 啥
Give me the keys! I told them it was my car, let me drive.
给我钥匙 我告诉他们这是我的车 让我开
Thank you.
谢谢
This is great, this is going to be great!
棒极了 真是棒极了
Right, ignition on,
好了 点火
handbrake off... Ooh! Oi!
拉手刹 哦 嘿
Sorry. Right, I'll look for a house
抱歉 好吧 我会找个房♥子
for us to rent in the middle of nowhere.
咱们在偏僻的地方租一个
Stop laughing, assholes!
别笑了 混♥蛋♥们
This thing's a beast. Agh!
这玩意就是个野兽 啊
I'll find us a nice low-key hideout.
我会找一处低调的藏身之处
The property's a homestay,
这处房♥产是民宿
but the owners are looking at renting it out long term.
但房♥主想要长♥期♥出租
See, they're in Australia indefinitely
他们已经定居澳大利亚
but, you know, they've left the house as is.
但 你看 这房♥子还是保持原样
Yeah, pretty hard to get that through customs, I imagine!
是啊 我估计带这东西过海关可不容易
Exactly, yeah.
说得没错
Five bedrooms, three bathrooms, large basement.
五间卧室 三个卫生间 大地下室
Perfect for a big family.
对大家庭来说再合适不过
It's great. It's great. It's exactly what I'm looking for.
棒极了 我就是要这样的房♥子
How many children do you have?
您有几个孩子
Er, three.
呃 三个
Well, I'm hoping to have three.
准确的说是我想要三个孩子
They are quite strict about the house rules.
房♥主对租客有严格的规定
That's not a problem.
没问题
I love rules. I love following them.
我喜欢规矩 我喜欢遵守规矩
Three months OK?
三个月 可以吗
Well, the minimum rental period is normally six.
嗯 一般最短租期为六个月
How about if I pay you in full in advance...in cash?
如果我提前全款付清 还是现金呢
That should be fine.
那就没问题了
Yellow Bentley. So discreet.
黄色宾利 真够谨慎的
Shazia, this is Joel and...A woman.
Shazia 这是Joel和 一个女人
Hi, I'm Tess.
你好 我是Tess
I'm actually a writer.
其实我是个作家
It's a dead patient's prescription.
这是已过世病人的处方药
Another one bites the dust.
又一个病人不行了
It's amazing how many drugs these dead patients need.
这些死了的病人用药需求还真不小
Thanks.
谢谢
There you go. That's your commission.
给你 佣金
Oh, white envelope this time! Classy.
噢 这次是白色信封 有格调啊
Here's my card if you need any more.
这是我的名片 如果你还需要更多的话
Wait, hold on a minute!
停 稍等一下
We need training. We're not qualified to...
我们需要培训 我们没资格去
Relax, they all come with instruction leaflets.
放轻松 这些都附带有使用说明小册子
Instruction leaflets? It's like cancer IKEA.
使用说明小册子 就相当于癌症中的宜家
If you get in trouble, you call the helpline.
如果你有问题 打求助热♥线♥去
Er, I don't suppose you fancy getting a spot of dinner?
呃 我在想你会不会有兴趣找个地方吃晚餐呢
The date window has closed.
约会"窗口"已经关闭了
I just want to be extremely clear about that,
我只想特别地表明清楚我的态度
because I wouldn't want you to have any hopes.
因为我可不想你抱有什么希望
There's no hopes here.
才没有什么希望呢
Who needs stupid hopes?
谁想要傻乎乎的希望
You should probably get another car.
你可能应该换另一辆车了
A crime car.
犯罪专用车
All right? Yeah.
好了么 嗯
Tell you what, I'm glad we got the fucking estate.
我给你说 我很高兴我们他妈拿下了那大宅子
I know what you're thinking, and, yes,
我知道你在想什么 是的 没错
this is very much a sex thing.
这就是用于房♥事的
You're looking well.