不良行为（2017）

霍克锡疗法
and some herbs thrown in for good measure.
另外还多加了一些草药
Thank you, thank you so much.
谢谢 太感谢你了
If I have any chance of getting better, this is it.
如果我有一点点机会能好起来 全靠它了
Hi. Hey!
嗨 嘿
So...
那么
..I finished that book that you recommended. - And?
我读完了你推荐的书 然后呢
Could have done with a few more jokes,
多写几个笑话会更好
but I think I get the gist.
但是我觉得我抓住了主旨
Consuming your body weight
把体重消耗在
in drugs and booze is not a very good idea.
药物和酒精上并不是一件好事
By the way, don't stop smoking that roach on my account.
顺便提一下 不要因为我而停止吸那根大♥麻♥
That...? Why would you think that I would do that?
那个啊 为什么你会觉得我会吸那玩意
Just the fact it was in your mouth 15 seconds ago.
因为15秒之前它还在你嘴里
Look, I'm not your higher power...
听着 我不是你的神灵
Did you ever see me building you a shrine?
你有见过我给你建圣殿吗
If you want to stop, then stop.
如果你想停下来 那就停下来
But do it for yourself.
但是要为了你自己
Don't do it for me.
而不是为了我
Don't do it for anyone else. Yes, I know that.
不要为了任何人 好的 我知道
You really don't have to tell me that.
你真的不用和我说这些
Just a sec!
等一下
Joel! Great to see you...
Joel 很开心见到你
Sorry.Is it a bad time?
不好意思 来得不是时候吧
No, I'm just doing lunch...
不 我在做午饭
That was your fault.
这是你的错
It wasn't my fault! It was the ball's fault!
这不是我的错 这是球的错
Right, what this situation calls for is a boat
好了 这个情况下最需要的就是个调味盘
full of Uncle Joel's speciality - vegetarian gravy.
来装Joel叔叔的拿手好菜 素食肉汁
Thanks, Joel.
谢了 Joel
Normally I wouldn't let them have TV time during the day.
一般我不会让她们在白天看电视
but they've been acting up lately.
但是她们最近老是调皮捣蛋
If you come back next week,
如果你下周再回来看
I'll be microwaving pizza and chain-smoking.
我就会用微波炉热披萨 一支接一支地抽烟了
Anyway, enough about me, how's everything with you?
好了 不说我了 你过得怎么样
How's the internet dating?
网上交友进展如何
Met anyone nice? Or at least, not mental?
找到心仪的了吗 或者至少 不是个疯子
Uh, kind of. Yeah, she is a bit mental, though.
额 有点吧 她确实有点疯
But - sexy mental.
但是吧 疯癫中带着点性感
The main problem with Nadia
Nadia主要的问题就是
is that she doesn't like spending time with me
她不喜欢和我待在一起
or having sex with me. That can be a sign.
也不喜欢和我滚床单 这可能预示着什么
Oh, God, I'm sorry...
天啊 抱歉
I can go...? No, don't.
我可以走 不 不行
Erm, I feel guilty that I should be having a nice time...
额 我觉得很内疚 我应该要开心的
I know Charlie's not here. Charlie's not safe.
我知道Charlie不在了 Charlie不安全
Right, don't beat yourself up.
好了 别自责
He'd want you to have a nice time, wherever he is.
他想你快快乐乐地活着 无论他在哪
For the first time, I feel like I'm giving up hope.
我第一次觉得要放弃希望了
Right, you can't give up hope, OK?
别放弃希望 好吗
Never, never give up hope.
永远 永远不要放弃希望
It's been two months, Joel. He wouldn't kill himself.
已经两个月了 Joel 他不会自杀的
OK, the Charlie I know - he just wouldn't.
好吗 我认识的Charlie 他就是不会
But what other explanation could there be?
可是还有别的更好的解释吗
Megan is so smart
Megan很聪明
and I've been trying to reassure her, but she just,
虽然我再三让她放心 但是她
she knows something's really, really wrong...
她就是知道有些事真的不对劲了
Charlie's not dead.
Charlie没死
Well, then where the fuck is he?! He's in Scotland.
那他妈的到底在哪 他在苏格兰
What?
什么
He's in the Outer Hebrides.
他在外赫布里底群岛
Why the fuck would he go there without telling me?
那他妈去那不告诉我
Well, he sent me a Snapchat.
嗯 他给我发了Snapchat
That's actually why I came over, to tell you...
其实我来就是为了 告诉你这个
Why the fuck didn't you tell me that an hour ago?!
你♥他♥妈♥干嘛不在一个小时之前就告诉我
You were in the middle of lunch. I... Lunch?!
你那时在吃午饭呢 午饭
Look, I just wanted to find the right moment because...
听我说 我只是想找个合适的时机
it's not all good news.
这不全是好消息
What do you mean? Is he hurt? Not exactly.
什么意思 他受伤了吗 这倒没有
He gave me strict instructions not to tell you. But
他命令我不准告诉你 但是
the truth is...
事实上
..He's gone off with Tess.
他跟Tess私奔了
Tess?
Tess
According to Charlie, they're in love.
Charlie说他们相爱了
Show me the message.
给我看看那条信息
I can't.
不可以
Snapchat deletes your message,
Snapchat会自动删掉信息
like, ten seconds after you send it.
大约发出之后的十分钟内就删了
But Charlie is alive! That's the headline.
但是重点在于Charlie还活着 这才是重点
That's good news, right?
这是个好消息对吧
It's the best news! Charlie and Tess...?
这个消息再好不过了 Charlie和Tess
I know. I know. I couldn't believe it either.
我懂 我知道 我也很难相信啊
It's kind of incredible. But there you go.
这有点不可思议 但是就是这么扯
Shit happens.
坏事总会发生
Have you told the police? The police. Of course.
你告诉警♥察♥了吗 警♥察♥ 当然
The police. Er... no, I have not told the police.
警♥察♥ 额 还没 我还没跟警♥察♥说
But of course, I'm going to tell to the police! Mum?
但是肯定地 我会和警♥察♥说的 妈妈
What's going on? Why are you shouting? Erm, it's OK.
发生什么事了 为什么你叫得那么大声 呃 没什么
Joel's heard from Daddy. He's OK.
Joel收到爸爸的消息了 他很好
He's just... He's gone on a long trip.
他只是 他去长途旅行了
When's he coming back? I don't know, I wish I did!
他什么时候回来 我不知道 要是知道就好了
But if I had to guess, I'd say, four weeks? There or thereabouts?
不过我猜 可能是四周 四周左右吧
He said that?
他说的吗
Er, no. No. It's just a hunch.
呃 没有没有 我瞎猜的
For the record, I am almost a month sober.
声明一下 我几乎一个月都没破戒了
And it wasn't even that hard. So...
而且这并不是什么难事
..It wasn't that hard?
不是难事
OK, it was pretty hard. I'm proud of you.
好吧 确实很困难 我为你感到骄傲
Fuck you! No, I am! I'm serious.
去你♥妈♥的♥ 不 我是说真的
You're doing way better than I was in my first month.
相比我第一个月 你做得好太多了
You're doing the hard work.
你正在经历一个困难的阶段
the hard work of not putting the bottle to my lips,
努力不让酒瓶碰到嘴边
and the powder up my nose, and the cock up my pussy?
不让毒粉挨到鼻子 不让老二进入阴♥道♥
Ohhh...yeah...
噢 对对对
Yeah. Because sometimes not doing something,
没错 因为有时候不做一些事
like that, is the hardest thing in the world.
就像这样 是世界上最难的事了
You know, I remember when I was first trying to get clean
你知道吗 我记得当我第一次试着去戒酒
and I was in a bar and ordered my favourite drink -
我在一间酒吧里 点了我最喜欢的酒
Martini.
马提尼
But I had this flash
但是有个念头一闪而过
that if I was going to take that first sip...
如果我喝下第一口
I would lose the next 12 hours of my life...
我会失去人生中接下来的12个小时
..And wake up in a gutter somewhere.
然后在某一个臭水沟里醒来
And I stared at that fucking Martini...for, like, an hour.
我盯着那杯该死的马提尼 盯了有一个小时
But I never picked it up.
始终没有拿起来
I actually woke up in a gutter once.
其实我有一次在臭水沟里醒过来
Yeah? Yeah.
真的吗 是的
Yeah. The worst part was it was right outside my flat.
最惨的是它就在公♥寓♥外面
It was very hard to get the neighbours to take me seriously
在下一次产权人会议的时候
at the next freeholders' meeting.
领居们就不拿我当回事了
It's very nice to have someone to talk to about...all this stuff.
有个人能让我倾诉这些东西真的很好
Same. You're my one bright light in this pitch-black cave.
我也是 你是照亮我这个黑暗洞穴里唯一的亮光
Oh, you mean, out of all your kidnappers, I'm your favourite?
哦 你是说 在所有绑匪里 我是你最喜欢的一个
I think I might have just a teeny bit of Stockholm Syndrome.
我想我可能患有轻微斯德哥尔摩综合征
You're not tied down this time, so you don't have any excuse.
这次你没有被紧紧绑住 所以你没有任何借口了
Well, I won't tell if you don't.
如果你不说 我不会说出去的
Sea bass, greens and rice, all the food groups!
海鲈 蔬菜和米饭 所有吃的都准备好了
Thanks.
谢谢
He definitely mentioned the Outer Hebrides.
他肯定提到了外赫布里底群岛
And Tess. That's all I can remember, really.
还有Tess 我真的只记得这些
Why did you clear your phone history