不良行为（2017）

第 一 季 第 二 集
Just play it cool.
轻松表现就好
Don't tell her this is your first-ever internet date
千万别跟她说这是你第一次跟网友约会
or that you just got divorced.
也别说你刚离婚
This is actually my first-ever internet date. Just got divorced.
这其实是我第一次跟网友约会 我刚离婚
That's what friends are for.
朋友存在的意义
It's making you do things against your will
就是逼你做你不想做的事
that end with you having sex in a public toilet.
但这事最后能让你在公共厕所来一发
Joel told me about the cancer, and I am so sorry.
Joel跟我说了你癌症的事 我真的深感遗憾
It's fine, honestly.
没事的 真没事
He also told me about the 94% cure rate for chemo,
他还跟我说要是化疗的话 有94%的治愈率呢
which is great, huh?
这太棒了 是吧
I'm not going to have chemotherapy.
我不准备去做化疗
Hodgkin's is a good lymphoma to have. Chemo will cure it.
霍奇金瘤算是淋巴瘤里好对付的 化疗能够治愈
I'm going to live. No, you're not.
我会好好活着的 不你不会的
You're going to die.
你会死的
We've got two choices: we sit back and watch Charlie die,
我们有两个选择 我们要不然坐视Charlie慢慢死去
or we kidnap him and give him chemo until he's cured.
要不我们可以绑♥架♥他然后强行用化疗治好他
Oh, God! Give up! Give up! No!
天呐 别抵抗了 别抵抗了 不
We need training. We're not qualified to...
我们需要培训 我们没有资格去
Who's this? Dr Cool?
你是谁 神酷医生么
I'm here to administer your medicine.
我是来给你用药的
Are you sure about this? Bit late for that, isn't it?
我们这么做真的好么 说这话有点晚了 不是么
I meant Nadia.
我是说Nadia
What choice do we have?
我们有别的选择吗
She just seems like a massive fucking liability.
我只是觉得她更像是一个巨大的累赘
It's not the game. I'm being held against my will.
我没在说游戏 我现在是被强行关在这里
I've got cancer.They're injecting me with chemotherapy drugs.
我得了癌症 他们给我注射了化疗剂
Are you sure you're not in the hospital?
你确定你没在医院里吗
I'm not in a fucking hospital...
我他妈的没在医院
I'm in a cellar somewhere off the A38.
我在A38号♥公路沿线附近的某个地窖里
I need you to help me escape!
我需要你们帮我逃出去
Oh, no, I'm on my own!
哦 不 我落单了
I figured you could use something to help you sleep.
我觉得这对你的睡眠或许有帮助
Hey, you're really getting into the game. Yeah.
嘿 这游戏你还真玩进去啦 嗯嗯
Glad you're having fun.
很高兴你能玩得开心
I'm really enjoying writing my novel,
我写小说也写得挺开心的
although I haven't read anything back yet
不过我还没有回头读我写过的东西
in case it's actually shit.
万一其实写得很糟呢
This chemotherapy kidnap mission, where is it?
你说的那个化疗绑♥架♥任务 在哪能做
What level's it on? It sounds sick.
是第几级的任务 听起来很屌♥啊
Yeah, yeah. I'm up for a chemo kidnap. Nice one!
对对 我也想来一次化疗绑♥架♥ 真赞
Getting a little assistance from your regiment, are you?
向你的战友寻求帮助呢啊 是不是
Tess... No, no! No!
Tess 不 不
Give it to me! Give it to me! No! No!
把它给我 给我 不 不
I'm sorry to tell you,
很抱歉告诉你
but your regiment doesn't have your best interests at heart.
你的战友们才不会考虑到底怎样对你最好
Tess! Joel!
Tess Joel
Tess, this is fucked up. Joel!
Tess 这太他妈太乱来了 Joel
I'm just trying to unfuck it up! You know I'm right. Please!
我只想要解决这些烂事 你知道我是对的 求你了
Please, just let me go! What? What is it?
求你了 让我走吧 怎么了 什么事
Charlie tried to escape through Xbox Live Chat.
Charlie试图用Xbox即时聊天逃跑
What? You said all the network settings were locked down!
什么 你不说网络连接全都锁死了吗
I thought they were. Oh, great! Nice work, genius!
我以为是锁死的 哦 你可真棒 小天才
We need to get rid of the Xbox. It's the simplest solution.
我们得把那Xbox扔了 这是最简单的解决方法
But that's the centre of the entertainment hub!
但那可是家里的娱乐中心最重要的东西啊
How's Charlie going to entertain himself without the hub?
没了这个娱乐中心 Charlie要怎么自娱自乐呢
I've got an idea that might be the solution to all your problems
我有一个能解决你们所有问题的方案
untie me and let me go!
给我松绑 让我走
I'm disappointed in you. I'm very disappointed. We trusted you.
我对你很失望 非常失望 我们本是信任你的
No, you didn't. You tied me up.
根本没有 你们把我绑了起来
I expected better.
我本期待你更好的表现
Why? I never promised not to escape.
为什么 我可从来没答应过不逃跑
Well, you can forget about
那你以后不要再奢求
all these lovely superfoods we got you.
我们给你这些美味的超级食物了
Just normal foods for you, young man.
你只会有普通食物了 年轻人
Please, just let me go! I want to see my family.
求你了 让我走吧 我想见我的家人
No, we are going to save your life.
不 我们要救你的命
You're not saving my life, you're killing me.
你们这不是在救我的命 你们这是在弄死我
And not just my present, my future as well.
而且不只是现在的我 还有未来的我
Cos you know I said that Kira and I were trying for another kid?
你记得我跟你说过 Kira我俩在尝试要小孩吗
Well, chemo kills sperm!
但 化疗会杀死精♥子♥
Oh! You think chemo kills everything!
哦 在你眼里化疗能杀死一切东西
You're such a wet blanket! Shall we take the berries away?
你可真是个扫兴鬼 我们要不把莓子拿走吧
No. Yeah, I think we should take the berries away.
别啊 嗯我觉得还是把莓子拿走吧
Don't take the berries away!
别把莓子拿走啊
Guess what? Charlie's actually right, for once.
你猜怎么着 Charlie还真说对了一次
One of the side-effects of chemo is that it can kill your sperm.
化疗的副作用之一 就是杀精
You need to see this.
你得看看这个
Charlie hasn't been seen since he left his Bristol address at
Charlie在离开其位于布里斯托尔的住所后再无消息
3.15pm on Saturday, 5th of November...
那是星期六下午3点15 周六
Nothing about you driving off with him. That's good.
根本没提到你开车载他来的 这是好事
I'm now going to hand you over to Charlie's wife, Kira,
下面我会把话筒交给Charlie的妻子 Kira
who has a statement that she would like to read.
她想要向媒体读一份声明
Charlie, Megan, Phoebe and I miss you so much.
Charlie 我和Megan还有Phoebe都好想你
Why am I watching this? We knew this was going to happen.
我为什么要看这个 我们早就知道这事会发生
This is not a shocking turn of events.
这又不是什么惊人的剧情反转
And if you want some time to yourself, that's OK,
你要是需要点独处的时间 没问题的
but please just let us know that you're all right.
但请让我们知道你没事好吗
I get the idea.
我懂她意思了
It gets worse. Some hack got a hold of Charlie's medical records.
还有更糟的 有黑客搞到了Charlie的医疗记录
That's not worse. That's great. Why the hell is that great?
这哪有更糟 这太好了 这他妈好在哪
Because the police aren't going to hunt high and low for a suicide, are they?
因为警♥察♥不会为了一个自杀案四处调查 对吧
Once the panic dies down,
等这阵恐慌过去了
we should be in the clear. Great! Suicide dad.
我们就应该能不受嫌疑了 太棒了 自杀的爸爸
Everybody's favourite kind of dad. It's an exciting mystery!
大家最喜欢的那种爸爸 多么刺♥激♥的谜案
Is Daddy hanging from a tree somewhere?
爸爸正在某棵树上吊着吗
Or is he at the bottom of a quarry in a crushed-up Mazda?
还是在某个采石场底部一辆撞扁了的马自达里
Look, all we have to do is hold our nerve.
听着 我们要做的就是控制住我们的情绪
No-one knows where Charlie is
没人知道Charlie在哪
and no-one knows where we are, so relax.
也没人知道我们在哪 所以放轻松
Fine, I'll relax. A nice relaxing kidnapping!
好吧 我会放轻松的 一次轻松惬意的绑♥架♥
We're going to prison
我们会去坐牢
and Charlie and Kira are going to hate us forever.
而Charlie跟Kira会恨我们一辈子
Not when we bring him back in three months' time
只要我们在三个月之后带着他
with a boxfresh lymphatic system!
和他焕然一新的淋巴系统回去就不会
They'll probably give us a medal.
他们甚至可能会给我们发个奖牌呢
Look, the most important thing is that we keep our cover intact.
告诉你 最重要的是要保证我们的伪装完美无瑕
I know. I've been putting
我知道 我一直在为
a few granite blocks in our castle walls.
我们的城♥堡♥墙上垒花岗岩呢
Fake geo-tagged myself.
脸书上定了个假坐标
Travelling the world, writing my book. So long, suckers!
环游世界 写我的书去咯 再会了 二♥逼♥们
Outer Hebrides nice!
外赫布里底群岛 漂亮
It's my last post for a while.
我最新动态这样保持了有段时间了
I'm going to keep my head down, but you need to go public
我要继续保持低调 但你需要去面对公众
see the police, talk to Kira.
见警♥察♥ 跟Kira聊聊
It'll be too suspicious if we both disappear.
要是咱俩双双消失就太可疑了
OK, fine, I'll go and see her. No, don't go and see her!
嗯 好吧 我去见见她 别 别去跟她见面
That's the last thing you should do!
那是你最不应该做的事
Just call her.
打个电♥话♥就行
It'll be much easier to act shocked and upset over the phone.
在电♥话♥里装得惊慌失措要简单得多
So I've got to be shocked and upset,
所以我要表现得惊慌失措
but not so shocked and upset that I'd actually bother to visit?
但又不能过于惊慌失措到我要去当面见她
Exactly. And be careful about Nadia. What about Nadia?
没错 还有就是留心Nadia Nadia怎么了
Just the fact that she's obviously
只是因为她明显就是
a massive bag of screaming trouble,
无比累赘且聒噪的麻烦而已
and you're bonking her. We've bonked twice.
而且你还上了她 我们只上过两次而已
Well, it was more than twice, actually,
那个 其实不止两次
but only on two actual occasions.
只是在两个真实存在的场合而已
I'm pleased you're thinking about somebody other than Steph,
我很欣慰你能想除了Steph之外的女人
but don't kid yourself.