新生六居客（2011）
Fresh Meat
第三季
剧集 | 新生六居客（2011） | 导航列表
新生六居客（2011）
Fresh Meat S03E08
Part 1
Jan. 4, 2021, 3:36 p.m.
新生六居客
第三季 第八集
我要竞选下届的学生会主席
I'm running to be the next president of the Student Union
正在考虑代表工党竞选
and I'm thinking of being Labour.
工党: 英国两大执政党之一
这对我能有什么好处 具体给我说说
What's in it for me? Sell it to me.
通常来说 是我们审查候选人的资格
Normally, WE vet candidates,
而不是让候选人审查我们的资格
rather than have the candidates vet us.
好吧 典型政客作风 颠倒黑白
Oh, right. Typical politician, twisting everything around.
你熟悉我们的政策吗
Are you familiar with our policies?
你要有能力详细阐明
You need to be able to articulate
为什么大家应该给我们投上一票
why people should vote for us.
好吧好吧
Oh, right.
所以说这都是关于高深语法和雄辩之词
So, it's all about good grammar and elocution lessons.
我应该加入保守党的 你是这个意思吗
I should join the Tories, is that what you're saying?
保守党: 英国的老牌大党 出过丘吉尔和撒切尔夫人等著名首相
- 我没这么说 你在曲解我的意思 - 我有吗
- I'm not saying that. Now you're twisting MY words. - Am I?
还是你在曲解我的意思
Or are YOU twisting my words?
我没有
No.
是你在曲解我的意思
You're twisting my words.
你看 这就是大家都觉得
You see, this is why everyone thinks
布莱尔是个二♥逼♥的原因 拉倒吧
Blair's a cunt. Forget it.
显然 对于这种反欧洲什么的
Obviously, I've got a problem with the whole...
我一向是很有意见的
anti-Europe thing
我还是很想去趟阿姆斯特丹的
cos I like to go to Amsterdam a lot.
另外 你们的一切我都极其看不顺眼
Also, I hate everything about you.
我只是随便进来试一下的
I just came in to have a go.
还有 我喜欢肯德基
Plus, I love KFC.
这一点基本上就定了我没戏了吧
Guessing that's a bit of a deal-breaker?
没门儿
Nah.
坎蒂丝 那啥
Candice, um...
我有事情想问你一下
I have something to ask you.
你有没有兴趣...
Would you be interested in...
帮我从冰箱拿盒酸奶
getting me a yogurt from the fridge?
你自己不长手啊
Can't you just get it yourself?
好吧
Yes.
这里是客厅
This is the drawing room.
这里到处都是鼻涕虫
There's a lot of slugs,
但是别担心 我会消灭掉它们的
but don't worry, I'll kill them.
另外淋浴被堵了
And the shower's blocked.
阴毛
Pubes.
估计是霍华德的
Howard's probably.
不过没事儿 我会打扫干净的
But don't worry. I'll, er, de-pube it.
这电视里面嵌了口炒菜锅
TV, it's got a wok in it.
我大概会把电视机扔了
I'll probably chuck the TV.
- 不过估计会留下炒锅 - 怎么了
- Might keep the wok. - What's going on?
我打算卖♥♥了这房♥子
I'm selling the house.
- 啥 - 你没听错 我要卖♥♥♥房♥♥子
- What? - That's right. I'm selling the house.
这破烂学校里的人全他妈不在乎我
This shitty university is full of people that don't care about me.
所以从现在开始 我要把自己放在第一位
So, from now on, I'm all about number one.
所以有什么改变吗
So, how's that going to be different?
麻烦你们把搬离通知转述给乔茜
Kindly pass the eviction notice on to Josie
和那个我不想提的人
and He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named
即"宇宙无敌混♥蛋♥"
aka He-Who-Is-A-Massive-Shithead.
今天是他们感情升温后热恋期开始的第二天
They're on day two of their relationship summit.
我不小心听到金斯利发出了那种
I overheard Kingsley doing that
类似于被勒着脖子漱口的声音
strangulated gargling thing
他只有压力山大时才会这样 不祥之兆啊
he does when he's very stressed. It does not bode well.
好事儿啊 太好了
Good. Well,
我希望她能甩了他 然后他自杀
I hope that she dumps him, he kills himself
她就可以冲着他的尸体尿尿
and then she takes a piss on his corpse
这才是他应得的下场
because THAT is what he deserves.
我会成为学生会主席
Well, I'll be union president,
就会有工资 然后大概找个别的地方租住
so I'll be getting paid and probably renting somewhere.
不会的 我才会是学生会主席
Well, no. I'll be president of the union.
你不介意我拿你的明信片卷根大♥麻♥抽抽吧
You, er, don't mind if I roach a little bit of your postcard, do you?
好了 福德 玩笑也开了 你也该高兴了
All right, Vod. You've had your fun. It's all a big joke.
哈哈 哈哈哈
Ah-ha, ah-ha-ha.
但我们都知道你不可能进行到底的
But we both know that you're not going to go through with this.
你一点希望都没有的
You don't stand a chance.
你是不是觉得我是傻♥逼♥ 要你觉得我是傻♥逼♥
You think I'm an idiot, don't you? Well, if I'm an idiot
那为什么我们的调查结果这么接近
how come we're so close in the surveys?
- 民调 那叫民调 - 随便吧
- Polls. They're called polls. - Whatever.
而且这也不是正规的国际舆♥论♥调查公♥司♥的结果
And it's not exactly MORI.
这只是一个自称为
It's a website run by a man
"大卫·高♥潮♥慢半拍"的人的个人网站
who calls himself David Dimbledick
而且选票指示器还是一个鸡鸡的形状
and uses a picture of a penis as a swingometer.
没人会投票给你的 没一个人
No-one will actually vote for you. No-one.
行啊 你怎么看 坎蒂丝
Oh, right. What about you, Candice?
你会为我投上一票的对吧
You'll vote for me, won't you?
- 不会 - 为什么
- No. - Why not?
你都没有竞选政策
You don't have any policies.
有的啊 降低薯条的价格
Yeah, I do. Cheap chips.
你只有一项政策 我觉得只有一项政策不够
You have one policy. I don't think one policy is enough.
那你呢 JP好哥们儿
What about you, Japes?
你会给我投一票的吧
You'll vote for me, right?
不会
No.
因为什么
Because?
因为你欠租欠了一千镑了
Because you owe me ￡1,000 in back rent.
霍华德
Howard!
民♥主♥什么的都是浮云
Democracy is an illusion.
我是会去走走这种形♥式♥主♥义♥的过场
I WILL be taking part in its ritualistic charade,
但只是为了糟蹋一下选票
but only in order to spoil my ballot paper
我会在上面列出当代社会践踏人♥权♥的事例
which I will do by making lists of contemporary human rights abuses,
比如说脸谱网的隐私设置
such as Facebook's privacy settings.
亲爱哒 你要不要来点果汁
Hey, babe, would you like some juice?
太好了 谢谢啦 我去给你整点麦片
Oh, I'd love some. Can I get you some cereal?
亲 太谢谢了 额滴个神 这简直就是男神啊
Aw, hun, thanks! God, isn't he great?
好吧 发生什么了
Right. What's happening?
没什么 我们只是很开心
Nothing. We're just happy.
就是说你们分手了
Oh. So, you broke up?
你觉得火♥辣♥迈克怎么样
Hey, what about Sexy Mike?
你不是一直很喜欢火♥辣♥迈克咩
Didn't you quite like Sexy Mike?
是啊 还有大鸡鸡迈克
Oh, God, yeah. And Big Dick Mike.
对啊 果断的 谁能忘得了大鸡鸡迈克
Oh, God, yeah. Who could forget Big Dick Mike?
就是 反正我是一直无法忘怀
I don't know cos I certainly haven't.
唱片店里的那些姑娘如何
What about those girls in the record store?
你当初不是很喜欢她们吗
You liked them, didn't you?
"女士们注意了 采花大盗要随风潜入夜了"
"Watch out, ladies. The Pussyman's on the prowl!"
哈哈 那是 势不可挡啊
Ha! Yeah. Rrrrr!
这尼玛唱的是哪一出啊
What the hairy hell is going on?
没什么大不了的
Nothing. No biggie.
我们只是决定了我们之间会是开放性关系
We've just decided to have an open relationship.
开放性关系: 恋爱中双方均可以自♥由♥和其他人发生性关系
是吗 所以说我现在又有机会了
Oh. So, you're available?
我知道这听起来特别放荡不羁
I know it sounds incredibly bohemian and,
事实上也确实如此
well, actually, it is.
我们还是会出去约会的
But we'll still be going out.
只是在需要的时候 我们也可以勾搭别人
We can just see other people if we want.
所以我现在又有机会了
So, you're available?
就好比是 为什么一辈子都要吃同一道菜
It's like, why would you have the same dinner over and over again
为什么不试试各式各样的小份样品 来个啪啪啪拼盘
when you could sample a range of items from the sex mezze?
听着很有意思啊 就像是滚床单滚到饱
Hmm. Interesting. Like a kind of genital all-you-can-eat.
我们当然都会对其他人有好感 这是天性
Obviously, we're going to fancy other people. That's natural.
我们还年轻
We're young.
至少大概在二十九岁之前都还算年轻吧
That doesn't go away until you're, like, I dunno, 29.
所以我们要开始走北欧化路线
So, we're doing the whole Scandinavian thing.
- 连环杀手 - 这是释放天性
- What, serial killing? - Being free.
你们不该做这种尝试的
You should not be messing with this.
这就像是啪啪啪中的黑带一样难
This is black-belt screw-jitsu.
你们定下规矩了没
Have you written up the rules?
我们不需要规矩
We don't need rules.
所以我现在绝对是有机会了
新生六居客（2011）
Fresh Meat
剧集 | 新生六居客（2011） | 导航列表