新生六居客（2011）

Fresh Meat S03E06

Part 5 Jan. 4, 2021, 3:36 p.m.

It's not about poetry slams and fucking Bewilderbeests.
那我是不是可以把头套取下来了
Does that mean I can take the head off?
我们要好好讨论一下我列了几条规则
We need to take this seriously. So I've drawn up a few rules.
禁止上♥床♥ 禁止骚扰禁止歧视禁止耍杂耍
No sex. No harassment. No discrimination. No circus skills.
我喜欢开开玩笑就像这位小伙伴一样
I like a joke as much as the next comrade.
但是禁止在室内抖空竹
Not a bloody diabolo, not indoors.
好如果就这些的话
OK, well, if that's everything...
姐还没说完呢
Actually, it isn't.
我跟《曼彻斯特晚间新闻》联繫上了
I've contacted the Manchester Evening News,
他们想要採访我和哈桑
and they want to interview me and Hasan,
- 如果桑没意见的话 - 那真是太好了
- if that's all right by you, San? - That would be great.
我不想一直唠唠叨叨的
I don't mean to go on about it
但是这个头套真的不透气啊
but there's very little ventilation.
裡面真的超热的啦
It's very hot in here.
坏种子乐队中最喜欢谁
Favourite member of the Bad Seeds?
- 沃伦·埃利斯 - 很好
- Er, Warren Ellis. - Is the correct answer.
澳大利亚朋克乐团坏种子乐队中的小提琴手
葬曲中喜欢哪首
Funeral song?
牛心上尉的《红鳟鱼面具複製品》
Trout Mask Replica by Captain Beefheart.
牛心上尉: 美国音乐家现代音乐真正的改革者之一
- 那是专辑名来的 - 我知道啊
- That's an album. - I know it is.
火葬场裡极度的自我放纵可敬可畏
Maximum self-indulgence in the crematorium. Respect.
其实我还有一张尼克·凯夫
I've actually got a spare ticket
尼克·凯夫: 澳大利亚一位天才级人物摇滚艺人曾担任坏种子乐队主唱
在曼彻斯特阿波罗剧院演唱会的票
to Nick Cave at the Apollo
不知你是否有兴趣
if you're interested...
就像强尼·玛尔的房♥间裡
Um... I'm about as interested as Johnny Marr
强尼·玛尔: 英国摇滚团体史密斯乐团的传奇吉他手
摆满了芬达的电吉他
in a room full of Fender Telecasters.
芬达公♥司♥的吉他贝斯音箱及其他产品世界著名
我他妈的感兴趣死了
I'm very fucking interested.
你不用先问下你女朋友吗
You don't need to check with your girlfriend first?
- 哦你说乔茜啊 - 恩
- Oh, Josie? - Yeah.
她不会有意见的我们处得可好了
Yeah, we're cool. No, yeah, we're very, very cool.
给你我的号♥码吧
Let me give you my number.
乔茜的十三个未接来电
好酷好酷谁买♥♥的房♥子这麽酷
Joke house, joke house! Who bought a joke house?
好酷好酷传说中的大别♥墅♥ 好酷
Joke house, joke house! The legendary joke house. Joke house!
嘿小霍什麽东西有两根手指
Hey! Howie, what's got two thumbs
会为了个玩笑就买♥♥栋房♥子
and just bought a bloody house for a joke?
这谜语蠢哭了
That's senseless.
天啊
Oh, God.
我知道那我的传奇呢
I know. What has become of my legend?
这可称不上你的传奇
Well - and this isn't a tacit endorsement of your legend -
但就好像浮士德你成了经典的超越者
but perhaps, like Faust, you've become the classic overreacher.
房♥子桌上冰球台
Houses, air-hockey tables.
传奇不是用钱买♥♥来的 JP
Legends aren't bought, JP.
传奇是勇士们用钢铁和烈火铸造而成的
Legends are forged in steel and fire by men with guts.
这裡得打断一下
Let me stop you right there.
你知道你在说"用钢铁和烈火铸造而成"时
Because do you know what I hear when you say,
我听到的是什麽吗
"Forged in steel and fire"?
难道是"传奇传奇手传奇"
Is it perchance, "Legend, legend, hand legend"?
不是
No.
我听到的是"JP应该踩双火球鞋"
I hear, "JP should set his trainers on fire."
我去
Oh, dear.
还真是我去
Oh, dear indeed.
你干嘛老忍♥不住要看看手♥机♥啊
Why are you compulsively checking your smartphone?
我是在看时间啦
I was just checking the time.
你知道吗乔茜
You know, Josie,
你让我想起很多自己在你这个年纪的事
you remind me a lot of me when I was your age.
是吗怎麽会呢
Really? How so?
我那时也在拍拖他叫约斯特
I was in a relationship. His name was Joost.
我陷入爱河无法自拔我会帮他洗内♥裤♥
It was very intense. I would wash his boxer pants,
给他做荷兰的特色菜
I would cook him bitterballen, I would...
还会陪著他看他和他朋友们玩飞镖
I would go with him and watch him play darts with his friends.
我就是他名义上的女朋友
I was his trophy girlfriend.
我仅仅是他的一个附属物
I was merely an... appendage.
好啦这抽奖得的酒就别喝了
OK. That's enough of the raffle wine.
你知道吗乔茜
You know, Josie,
你坐这儿等他回你电♥话♥真是太傻太天真了
you are too young to sit here waiting for him to call
就跟个百依百顺的家庭妇女一样
like a dutiful hausfrau,
独守空闺就像罐头裡孤零零的一粒小豌豆
rattling around your empty home like a pea in a can.
- 我是在看时间 - 切继续吹吧
- I was checking the time. - Pfft!
现在呢
And now...
姐要去来块饼乾犒劳下自己
I'm going to help myself to a biscuit
就像你八个月前自觉地用我的生日蛋糕
like you helped yourself to my birthday cake
犒劳自己一样
eight months ago.
"傻瓜这事儿当然只有傻瓜才干得出来
"Muggins. Of course it was muggins.
"还有谁会像这五岁的小傻瓜一样
"Who else but wee little five-year-old muggins
"为了讨她冷淡的母亲的欢喜
"would try to garner her distant mother's affection
"将一隻小猫咪放在密封的特百惠盒子裡
"by gift-wrapping a kitten
包装成礼物的样子呢
in an airtight Tupperware container?"
不用说节礼日可算是浪费了
Needless to say, Boxing Day was somewhat of a write-off.
节礼日: 圣诞节后的第二天雇主常吩咐雇员把圣诞节剩下来的食物装箱并送回雇员家从此食物装箱的传统演变为节礼日
天啊我觉得《野战排》中那傻瓜真让人忧桑
God. And I thought Platoon balloon was sad.
你现在知道了吧福德
So you see, Vod, I'm...
在处理"老妈问题"上我可是有经验的老手
something of an old hand when it comes to mum issues.
吸气
We inhale.
呼气
We exhale.
吸气
We inhale.
呼气
We exhale.
我有个主意你会开车吗
I've had an idea. You OK to drive?
福德
Vod...
我他妈的爱死开车了
..I would fuckin' love to drive.
萨宾娜
Sabine.
你是想干嘛呀
What would you be doing?
姐在把俄勒冈的饼乾都舔一遍
I'm licking Oregon's biscuits
再把它们物归原位
and then placing them back in the packet.
是啊我也发现了
Yeah, cos that's what I thought.
姐在这儿住了半年
I lived here for six months.
你以为我不知道你们在背后笑话我吗
You think I didn't realise you were all laughing behind my back?
那为什麽呢
And why?
因为姐是荷兰人
Because I'm Dutch?
因为姐是成年人吗
Because I'm an adult?
是啊你不能消停会儿吗
Yeah. Can you stop doing that?
我舔我的饼乾碍著你了吗乔茜
Does my biscuit-licking offend you, Josie?
有一点点吧
Little bit. Yeah.
好吧那你慢慢舔著吧
OK, um, you... you lick away.
我要去...
I'm just going to...
'有事请留言不留也随便'
'Leave a message, if that's cool, but whatever.'
金斯利尼玛的快接电♥话♥啊
For fuck's sake, Kingsley, pick up your phone!
萨宾娜疯了她现在正在厨房♥裡
Sabine's gone loco. She's in the kitchen, right now,
把你的长棍麵包当丝瓜络使呢
using your breadsticks as some sort of loofah.
我得赶快摆脱她听到留言快回我电♥话♥
I need to get rid of her. Just call me when you get this.
约翰: 萨宾娜这样不对我对你没感觉别来烦我了
坎蒂丝
Candice.
我来这儿是因为
The reason I'm here
你给我泡了一杯清新芬芳的茶
is because you made me a delicious cup of tea, so...
所以作为回报我会将一个
in return, I'm going to offer you
热情似火的霍华德展现在你面前
the following cup of steaming-hot Howard.
我会在洗澡时尿尿
I urinate in the shower. Hmm?
我会坐在马桶上刷牙
I brush my teeth situated on the toilet.
在看到停车时车内灯没关的
I laugh audibly at parked cars
我会衝著那车放声大笑
when I can see the interior light is still left on.
嗯
Hmm?
你也知道
And, as you know,
有时候我就不一一列举了我还会
on occasions too numerous to mention, I...
自己撸管
self-masturbate.
霍华德你跟我说这些干嘛呢
Howard, why are you telling me all this?
因为你有权知道
Because you have a right to know.
坦白说你得抛开自己
And, frankly, you need to rid yourself
对我的这些荒唐成见你把我看成是个
of these ludicrous preconceptions of me as some kind of...
博学多才的半仙就好了
polymath demigod.
- 霍华德我只是想和你做朋友 - 朋友
- Howard, I just want to be, um, friends. - Friends?
对啊我的意思是