新生六居客（2011）

Fresh Meat S03E02

Part 2 Jan. 4, 2021, 3:35 p.m.

不好意思
Sorry.
大家都催我更新博客呢
People get really antsy when I don't update my blog.
是啊
Oh, yeah!
要是有人不更博客那真是世界末日啊
Yeah, it's a nightmare when people don't update their blog!
你去哪儿了
Where have you been?!
当心啊快把烟藏起啦妈妈来找茬来了
Oh, watch out, hide your smokes! Mum's on the warpath.
我一晚上都在救助站帮忙
I spent the night at the shelter helping out.
以后记得跟我们说一声我们会担心的
Well, let us know in future. We were worried.
我不会 - 我才不在乎呢
Not me - don't care.
那里很安全的基盟的人都在那儿而且
It was perfectly safe. Everyone from CU was there and...
- 基盟 - 基♥督♥教联盟
- CU? - Christian Union.
天啊
Oh, my God.
我们是把你玩坏了吗
We've broken you.
啪啪啪啊白粉啊一起来你承受不来了是吗
All the sex and the drugs - it's too much.
现在你还加入了邪教
And now you've joined a cult.
早上好
Buenos dias.
福德
Vod!
你想来点早饭吗
Do you, er, want some breakfast?
我能找到意粉鹰嘴豆
I've got pasta, chickpeas,
还有半罐咸酸味的薯片
and half a tube of salt and vinegar Pringles.
哥们忙啥呢
What's a gwan, bredren?
和山姆定了约会时间周五下午四点
4pm Friday, got a date with Sam.
大白天的算什么约会啊
Uh, a daylight date is not a date.
JP 你知道楼下的马桶堵了吗
JP, are you aware the downstairs toilet isn't flushing?
我在楼上有专用马桶
I've got my own toilet upstairs.
出了二楼的事儿可就不归我管了
I can't really be responsible for what's happening below decks.
- 你可是房♥东 - 那你打电♥话♥给中介啊
- You're the landlord. - Call the agency, then.
我打了
I did.
他们说房♥东没开机
They said the landlord's phone is switched off.
我肯定房♥东要是方便的话一定会给你回电♥话♥的
Well, I'm sure the landlord will call you back at his convenience.
乔茜: 我马上到家里见
- 你去哪儿了 - 没去哪儿啊
- Where have you been? - Nowhere.
你绝对出去了
Well, you have.
我出去散了个步
I went out for a walk.
散步金斯利
A walk. Kingsley,
没到三十岁的人有谁会没事出去散步的
no-one under the age of 30 has ever been for a walk.
- 我就是啊 - 放屁你是夜不归宿
- Well, I did. - Bullshit. You've been out all night.
作为你的房♥东我有权知道你去哪儿了
And as your landlord, I demand to know where.
要不我就把你冰箱的空间减半
I'll halve your fridge space.
你也别再想用沙拉保险盒了
And withdraw your access to the salad crisper.
好吧我本来我就想找个人说说的
All right, I need to talk to someone anyway,
要不自己实在hold不住了
I feel like my head's going to blow off.
- 你知道我和希瑟曾有过一段吧 - 是啊
- You know I was going out with Heather before? - Yeah.
其实吧我似乎是没有完全和她分彻底
Well, I didn't actually quite manage... to totally break up with her.
你顺利出师了啊
The pupil has become the master.
但是我必须和她断干净因为...
Yeah, but I do need to break up with her, because...
为了乔茜必须的啊
Because of Josie, obviously.
玩咖
Player!
承让还有个原因就是希瑟以为我和她一起住
Thanks. But also because Heather now thinks I live with her.
所以我现在付的房♥租是双份的
So, like, I'm paying double rent.
- 人生大赢家啊 - 所以就算我能
- Baller. - So even if it were sustainable
- 脚踏两条船 - 你可以的
- to continue seeing them both... - It is.
哥做不到啊我想和希瑟做个了断
..which it isn't, I want to end it with Heather,
但她爷爷快挂了
but her grandad's dying.
我又不想太无情了
So I don't want to be insensitive.
所以现在我陷入了道义上的两难
It feels like this big moral dilemma.
但会不会都是我自己在意淫想多了
But could it be a fuss over nothing?
或者我应该利用一下现在的状况
Maybe I somehow engineer these situations
让生活更多姿多彩一点
to make my life more complicated.
你觉得呢
What do you think?
我觉得你现在算是花♥花♥公♥子♥了
I think you're the Pussyman.
应该风流一把
You should just Giggs it out.
怎么啦希瑟
Hi, Heather.
对啊
Right.
天哪好吧
Oh, God, OK.
我马上就到
I'll be right over.
我到底怎么办才好啊
What am I going to do?
本来这段时间都已经安排给乔茜了
I'd earmarked this time as Josie time.
但希瑟又淘气了
Heather's gone rogue.
淡定...
Just...
嗨
Hiya!
原来还有欢迎团啊
Oh, welcoming committee.
纳茨福特刚还在跟我说
Knutsford was just telling me
他今日特意为你推掉了所有行程
how he's cleared his entire calendar for you.
对吧纳茨福特
Weren't you, Knutsford?
- 嗨 - 嗨
- Hi. - Hi.
我喜欢把长途客车假想成一个移♥动♥的小旅馆
I like to pretend the coach is like a mobile Travel Lodge.
但区别就在于小旅馆里面可没那种屎臭
The difference is, a Travel Lodge doesn't smell like faeces
而且也不用与一个膘肥大汉共享一床
and you don't have to share your bed
他鼾声如雷还在睡梦中都让你蠢蠢欲动
with a fat man who snores and feels you up in his sleep.
真的吗这正是我梦寐以求的小旅店啊
Really? That's exactly what I imagined a Travel Lodge was like.
所以我就开始思考
So I'm starting to feel like -
我是不是想要长♥期♥生活在长途客车上了
long-term - do I want to live on a bus?
我应该再考虑下回来的问题吗
Should I think about coming back?
对啊好极了这想法是极好的
Perfect, yeah. I like that idea.
你也觉得是吧因为我再换换课就好了
Yeah? Cos I can just change courses again.
但这也是个重大的决定不用这么捉急
Although it is also a big decision, there's no need to rush.
如果你再等几个礼拜
Erm, if you waited a couple of weeks,
或一个月
or a month,
许多事情在一个月内都会清楚很多
a lot of things would be clearer... in a month.
是吗
Oh... Yeah?
有谁要喝茶吗
Tea, everyone?
给哥来两杯
I'll have two cups, please.
不对
Actually, no.
茶和咖啡各来一杯
A cup of tea and a cup of coffee.
鱼和熊掌可以兼得时为啥不要呢对吧小金
Why have one of something when you can have two? Eh, Kingy?
得了吧JP 你只要一种就好了
Come on, JP, you only need one.
两种喝不过来的
Two would be unmanageable.
不会啊我觉得我可以一箭双雕
No, I think I can handle two cups.
茶和咖啡薯条和米饭
Tea and coffee. Chips and rice.
两种风格两种极品
The best of both worlds.
我才不会给你又泡茶又冲咖啡呢到底挑哪个
I'm not making you tea and coffee. Which one do you want?
到底挑哪个呢这的确是个问题
That's the problem, though, isn't it? Which to choose.
茶你已经有茶了
Tea. You're having tea.
- 你知道自己想喝的是茶 - 我不知道呢
- You know it's tea you want. - Yeah, I don't know.
只是我真的很喜欢夏日那与众不同的咖啡
Just, I've really been enjoying the odd cheeky cup of coffee over the summer.
JP 我们得走了
JP, we're going to have to go.
有丹的课
It's Dan.
超声波地质学
Geology bat signal.
地理学者们正在实验室上演一场土地争夺战
The geographers are staging a landgrab on the lab.
二十分钟内要展示武力装备
Show of force in 20 minutes.
- 真是抱歉了乔茜 - 这样啊
- Sorry, Josie. - Oh, really?
我还以为我们会无聊得要死
I thought we were going to get pissed
然后一起看《新家要装♥修♥》呢
and watch Homes Under The Hammer.
《新家要装♥修♥》: 一档有关房♥产投资的节目
《新家要装♥修♥》
Homes Under Hammer?
- 别激动哈维尔 - 真对不起乔茜
- Not yet, Javier! - I'm really sorry, Josie.
我过会儿就回来好吗
I'll be back later, yeah?
天啊《新家要装♥修♥》已经开始了吗
God, is it Homes Under The Hammers already?
看《新家要装♥修♥》吧福德
Homes Under the Hammer, Vod!
好啊看《新家要装♥修♥》
Yeah! Homes Under The Hammers!
把遥控器给他
Let him have the remote.
他喜欢看《邻居》但要五点半才开始
He likes Neighbours, but he watches it at 5.30.
他午饭时要看《医生》
He watches Doctors at lunch.
到时别让他看《邻居》
Don't let him watch Neighbours then
不然等他意识到他看过了这个晚上就废了
or there'll be hell to pay this evening when he realises that he's seen it.
你不能就把他当成件行李一样撂在一边啊
You can't just leave him like... luggage.
你这是在玩弄他的感情
You're trifling with his affections!
是吗
Oh, yeah?
你倒是开导开导我啊俄勒冈
Well, tiramisu-me this, Oregon!
那姐为毛要和他结婚呢
Why am I marrying him?