新生六居客（2011）
Fresh Meat
第三季
剧集 | 新生六居客（2011） | 导航列表
新生六居客（2011）
Fresh Meat S03E06
Part 1
Jan. 4, 2021, 3:36 p.m.
新生六居客
第三季 第六集
你好啊 俄勒冈
Hey, Oregon.
我正好路过 能来个爱的抱抱吗
I was just passing by and wondered whether you fancied a quick cuddle.
你好啊 福德
Hey, Vod.
我正挨个房♥间的逛呢 看看有没有人愿意
I'm just going door to door and wondered whether...
抱抱
Quick cuddle?
我去你玛丽隔壁的 JP
Christ on a bendy bus, JP.
你怎麽会堕落到这个地步的
Has it really come to this?
我只想求个抱抱
I'm just in a cuddling mood.
你懂吗 只想找个好姑娘抱抱
You know, when all you want is a cuddle with a nice girl.
把头枕在她的腿上
Maybe lie your head down in her lap
就著漂亮裙子痛痛快快哭一场
and cry into her pretty sundress.
就为了个姑娘
All this over a girl.
想当初你可是传奇人物
And to think, you used to be a legend.
我现在还是
I am legend!
那我可没看出来
Not from where I'm stood.
乔茜...
Josie...
抱抱
Quick cuddle?
好啊
OK!
矮油
Aww!
还是乔茜好
Josie.
靠得住
Old reliable.
我甜蜜的威尔士避风港
My sweet Welsh harbour.
他是突尼斯人 你知道突尼斯吧
He's Tunisian. You do know about Tunisia?
阿♥拉♥伯之春之类的(阿♥拉♥伯政♥治♥运动)
The Arab Spring et al.
哎呦喂 帅哥啊
Ooh! He's hot.
这时候不要颜控 又不是上非诚勿扰
Well, that's not the issue. This isn't fucking Take Me Out.
他要上的话 绝对是横扫非诚勿扰啊
He would clean up on Take Me Out.
福德 你知道自己签的这是什麽吗
Vod, do you even know what you're signing?
就是这玩意儿啊 拯救帅哥大作战
Yeah. The thing. Save the hot guy.
他叫哈桑 是突尼斯... 他...
His name's Hasan and he's Tunisi... He's...
他付不出学费了
He can't pay his tuition fees,
所以他的签证被吊销了 现在要被驱逐出境了
so his visa's being revoked and he's being deported.
我表示强烈...弃权
I would like to vehemently... abstain.
我来签吧 看在是帅哥的份上
Well, I'm signing it, because I think he's hot,
我觉得这个理由绝对站得住脚
because I think that's a perfectly valid reason.
霍华德 你想要张我妈的照片不
Howard, d'you want a picture of my mum
这是她站在金字塔上
on a pyramid
手还搭在不是我爹的男人身上
with her hands on a man who isn't my dad?
不了 谢谢啊
No, thanks.
你要找人聊聊不
D'you need to talk to someone?
要的话 我可以帮你去叫人的
Cos if so, I could go and get someone else.
叫谁
Like who?
我要吐槽的是脑残娘亲
This is some high-level mum shit.
你们这帮有好妈妈的宝宝谁能理解我
Which one of you normals is going to understand that?
金斯利吗
Kingsley?
"我妈身体不好 所以有一隻免费的辅助犬"
"Oh, my mum was a bit poorly so she got a free dog."
福德...
Vod...
那玩意儿是手榴弹吗
..is that a hand grenade?
哎 可算是找到了啊
Oh! There she is.
我之前还寻思著上哪儿了呢
I was wondering where that went.
这确实是手榴弹吧 没错吧
And it is a grenade, is it?
你要手榴弹做什麽
And w-why have you got a grenade?
我从空军基地偷的
Oh, I stole it from the RAF base.
一直留著没捨得用
I've been saving it for a special occasion.
就像留著根烟或是一瓶上好的香槟一样 接住
It's like a cigar or a nice bottle of Moet. Catch!
表紧张啊
Lighten up!
看看 某人不太适应真枪实弹啊
God! Someone never grew up round live ammunition.
我给你泡了杯茶
I made you a cup of tea.
为毛啊
On what grounds?
不为毛
The normal grounds.
只是觉得你应该会想来杯茶
The grounds that you might like a cup of tea.
感觉
Diagnosis...
不大对劲啊
besotted.
坎蒂丝...
Candice...
哥是传奇不
am I a legend?
啥意思啊
How do you mean?
就是我是不是传奇人物
In the sense of me being a ledge?
咱来聊聊传奇度的问题
We're talking about legendosity here.
那你怎麽衡量传奇人物的传奇度
How would one quantify a given legend's legendosity?
传奇人物就是
A legend is the kind of guy
趁别人睡著的时候 掏出蛋蛋搁别人脸上
who rests his balls on another guy's face whilst he's asleep,
把这事儿拍下来
photographs himself doing it
还把照片发给睡著那哥们儿他妈的那种人
and then texts it to the other guy's mum.
他思维敏捷 声音洪亮
Quick of wit, loud of voice.
总是争著做出头鸟
He's always the first person with his arse out.
我们说的这种人
We're talking about the kind of guy
会走到拥挤的房♥间裡大叫
who walks into a crowded room and shouts,
"喂 去他妈的 咱们租艘游艇好了"
"Hey, let's just fuck it all off and hire a barge!"
所以 我重新问你一遍 坎蒂丝
So... I ask you again, Candice -
哥是传奇不
am I a legend?
话说 那些事儿都是你做的
Well, have you done those things?
裡面有两件是我做的
I've done two of those things.
你知道如果我老妈在 她这时会说什麽吗
Do you know what Mummy would say if she were here now?
啥也不说
Nothing.
她会狠狠朝我大腿上拍一巴掌 我就懂了
She'd just slap her palm down on my thigh and I'd get it.
"乔纳森 你好好给老娘振作起来"
"Jonathan, you need to pull your ruddy socks up."
到此为止 再也不想山姆了
That's it. No more Sam.
我要做回传奇了
I am restoring my legend.
亲们 我在收集签名
Guys, I'm collecting signatures
抗♥议♥一位突尼斯同学即将被驱逐出境
on behalf of a Tunisian student who's being deported.
- 没劲 - 矮油 你这已经有新目标了
- Boring! - Oh. Y-You found something already?
不是 就是那啥 你之前说的 貌似是周二吧
No, it's just, you were saying the other day - I think it was Tuesday -
你想要找到一个自己真正坚信的目标为之奋斗
that you wanted to find a cause that you truly believe in...
不是我们去找目标 坎蒂丝
We don't find our causes, Candice -
目标会自己找上门来的
our causes find us.
我出门想去吃个火腿三明治
I popped out for a ham panini,
回来时手上已经握有一个人的命运了
and I came back with a life on my hands.
这名单够长啊
Oh, a big list of names?!
詹姆斯·马托克 等等看
James Muttock? Wait till the powers that be
詹姆斯·马托克在这张纸上签名
find that James Muttock has signed his name
带来的影响力吧
on a piece of paper!
这叫行动主义 金斯利
It's called activism, Kingsley.
俄勒冈 你想要《蒂博雷的牧师》别被砍
Oregon... you want to bring back The Vicar Of Dibley?
那请♥愿♥书是有用的
Start a petition.
但你要改变世界的话 还是写首歌♥比较靠谱
You want to change the world? Write a song.
好啊 那给他写首歌♥啊
OK. Write him a song.
现在吗 不是想要就能写出来的
Right now? You can't just order one.
你当是去菜场买♥♥菜啊 说有就有了
Can you see any tiny pens? I'm not a branch of fucking Argos!
在我心目中 你就是时代的喉舌
I'll tell you what I can see - the voice of your generation.
我可从没说过我是时代的喉舌啊
Yeah, I never said I was THE voice.
搞定 全烧了
Done it. Burnt the lot.
刚才那简直就是《异教♥徒♥》的老妈版
It was like The Wicker Mum out there!
为什麽我心裡还是觉得不好受呢
So how come I don't feel any better?
是啊 真是奇怪 似乎
Yeah, it's weird. It's almost as though
烧掉一堆照片也不是啥有效的心理疗法
barbecuing a load of Polaroids isn't a valid form of therapy.
嘿 我们要买♥♥什麽吗
Hey. Do we need anything?
要 你从零钱罐裡拿点钱 买♥♥点通心粉吧
Yeah, get some penne. Just take it out of the petty cash jar.
你们都有零钱罐了
You've got a petty cash jar?
严格来说不是罐子
It's not a jar.
就是装著零钱的印花马克杯
It's just a JD Sports mug with money in it.
我去 麻麻和爸爸啊
Wo-ow, Mum and Dad.
干嘛不干脆做到底 去买♥♥辆家庭轿车
Why not go the whole hog and buy a Citroen Xsara
开始对著不同的地毯式样撸管啊
and start wanking off over carpet samples?
有完没完啊 福德
OK. You know what, Vod?
是啊 我们合伙过日子
Yeah, we do a joint shop.
真是两个傻叉啊
Oh, how stupid of us!
我们把钱放一块儿用
We put our money together
买♥♥金枪鱼罐头的时候也是一口气买♥♥四罐
and we buy a four-tin multipack of tuna
第四罐半买♥♥半送
for 20p more than three individual cans.
新生六居客（2011）
Fresh Meat
剧集 | 新生六居客（2011） | 导航列表