诸事不顺（2018）

Oh, how my heart yearns for her!
我的腰在颤抖
How my loins quake!
在这欢愉的一天 我感觉好自♥由♥
How free I feel on this merry day!
你知道 就是因为这样 你才没办法成为好演员 好吗？
You know, this is why you'll never be a good actress. Okay?
你根本搞不清楚自己内心的想法 连想跟你好好谈话都不行
You're out of touch with your inner truth, you can't have a genuine conversation.
说实话 我为你感到难过
Honestly, I feel bad for you.
你屌♥很小
Well, you have a tiny dick.
我们没戏唱了 好吗？到此为止 就这样
We're done. All right? It's over, that's it.
好啊
Fine.
婊♥子♥
Bitch!
那是我奶奶给我的
My grandma gave me those.
她有糖尿病
She has diabetes!
爸？
Dad?
凯特麦斯纳 进来
Kate Messner! Come on in!
你想干嘛？
What do you want?
你要我把你当一般学生看待 我现在正这样做 请坐
You asked me to treat you like any other student, so I am. Take a seat.
校工 史帝夫告诉我
Janitor Steve informed me
发生了一些用词粗鲁的破坏行为
about some crassly worded vandalism,
今天早上一个涂鸦出现在置物柜上
graffiti really, that showed up on a locker this morning.
结果那个置物柜是你的
Turns out that locker was yours.
上面写 "男人婆同性恋"
It said "Dyke,"
这是贬义词 指一位女性喜欢
which is a derogatory term... for when a woman has romantic
-我知道那词的意思 -好
-I know what it means. -Okay.
我只想知道是谁做的 就是这样
I'm just trying to figure out who did this. Yeah.
就你所知 最近有人对你很坏 或是找你麻烦的吗？
You know, has anyone been mean or picking on ya recently?
我是说 为什么有人要这样做？
I mean, why would someone do that?
因为大家都很蠢
Because people are stupid.
亲爱的
Hey, sweetie, uh...
我不会觉得他们是针对你
I wouldn't take it personally.
我敢说他们根本不知道 那是谁的置物柜
I bet they didn't even know whose locker it was.
其他事情都还好吗？
Everything else okay?
-还好 -好
-Yeah. -Okay.
回去上课吧 小姐
Back to class, young lady.
好
Okay.
你可以的
You can do this.
你可以的
You can do this.
好
Okay.
你好
Hey.
一切都还好吗？
How's it going?
今天不是太好
I've had better days.
是吗？
Oh, yeah?
我才刚想到你
I was just thinking about you.
是吗？
You were?
我喜欢这个
I love this.
我知道这首歌♥很红之类的
I know it's, uh, super popular or whatever,
但第三首歌♥算是拯救了我现在的生活
but track three's kinda saving my life right now.
你再说一次是哪首歌♥？
Which one's that again?
至少你知道现在自己要做什么了吧
By now you should've somehow Realized what you gotta do
我不相信有人能感同身受 我对你的感觉
I don't believe that anybody Feels the way I do about you now
我好奇他的歌♥词是在说谁
I wonder who he's singing about.
你不会吗？
Don't you?
对于人们说的闲言闲语 他们说你已经不在乎了
Backbeat, the word was on the street That the fire in your heart is out
我知道这些你一定都听过
I'm sure you've heard it all before...
我得走了
I gotta go.
晚点见？
Uh, I'll see ya later?
当然
Absolutely.
"有些神秘的 "
"There was s-something my, my--"
"东西"
"Mysterious."
你可不可以发明机器人之类的 用来帮我读这些书？
Can't you just invent, like, a robot, that will read this to me or something?
我也想 但靠我有限的知识和资源 是没办法的
I wish. Not with my limited knowledge and resources.
不过等到机器人掌权后 这些也都不重要了
But when the do robots take over, none of this will matter.
我们都会变成漂在水槽里的脑子
We'll just be brains floating in tanks.
虚拟刺♥激♥的奴隶 还有合成的自动化营养
Slaves of virtual stimulation and synthetic automated nourishment.
只要让我脱离补考就好
What ever gets me out of remedial.
各位 我想到了
Guys, I've got it.
但我需要你们的帮助
But I need your help.
没错
Yeah
一 二 王子跪在你面前 这就是我说的意思
One, two, princes kneel before you That's what I said now
有王子很喜欢你 尽管上前接受吧
Princes, princes who adore you Just go ahead now
其中一个说他口袋里有钻石要给你 那就是面包
One has diamonds in his pockets And that's some bread now
另一个说他想买♥♥火箭给你 那他就是说话不经大脑
This one said he wants To buy you rockets
没错
Yeah
这个人地位很高 这就是我的意思
This one got a princely racket That's what I said now
他的口袋满满 但他心思不在这里
Got some big seal upon his jacket Ain't in his head now
快点
Go, go!
嫁给他 你♥爸♥爸就会原谅你 你说怎么样？
Marry him, your father will condone you How 'bout that now?
嫁给我 你♥爸♥爸就会跟你断绝关系 他会气疯的
Marry me, your father will disown you He'll eat his hat now
嫁给他 或嫁给我
Marry him or marry me
我才是爱你的神秘人 宝贝 你看不出来吗？
I'm the one that loves you baby Can't you see?
我没有什么未来 也没什么背景
I ain't got no future or a family tree
但我知道王子和爱人该怎么当
But I know what a prince and lover Ought to be
但我知道王子和爱人该怎么当
I know what a prince and lover Ought to be
如果你想打给我 宝贝 那就打吧
Said if you want to call me baby Just go ahead now
如果你想告诉我或许
And if you like to tell me maybe...
-测试 一 二 三 -爸
-Testing, one, two, three. -Dad.
品质？不太好
Levels? Crash.
今天的影片 是要谈谈李洛伊欧尼尔的人生时光
For today's video installment of the Life and Times of Mr. Leroy O'Neil,
就是我本人 我想说一些感谢的话
that's me, I want to say a few words about gratitude.
有时候会觉得人生就跟屎一样
Some days it feels like life's gone to shit.
也有像今天一样 我很感激自己能活着
Days like today, where I'm just happy to be alive.
我很健康 有工作 我有妻子 还有儿子
I'm healthy. I have a job. I have a woman and my son,
就像我的小路克
little Luke'em Nuke'em.
他可能是这个地球上 最聪明又最热情的小孩了
He might be the smartest, most passionate little man on this planet.
他才五岁 这小子让我大吃一惊
He's five. Kid's blowing my mind.
李洛伊 晚餐好了
Leroy, hey, dinner's ready.
请进
Come in.
-你在干嘛？-看看你
-What are you doing? -Look at you.
过来
Come here.
-过来嘛 -好吧 怎么啦？
-Come here. -Okay. Hi.
我爱你
I love you.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
过来
Come here.
-对镜头打声招呼吧 -你在录像吗？
-Say hi to camera? -Are you recording this?
李洛伊 我现在很丑
Leroy, I look like a train wreck.
别这样 你看起来很美
Hey, you look beautiful.
真会说话
Smooth talker.
要吃晚餐了
Dinnertime.
这或许不是我 我想像过的人生
This may not be the life that, uh, that I imagined for myself,
但该死 这人生真棒
but god damn, it's a good one.
很多喃喃自语的小老鼠在月光下跳舞 跳得出奇好
Many mumbling mice Dancing in the moonlight, mighty nice
很多喃喃自语的小老鼠在月光下跳舞 跳得出奇好
Many mumbling mice Dancing in the moonlight, mighty nice
很多喃喃自语的小老鼠在月光下跳舞 跳得出奇好
Many mumbling mice, Dancing in the moonlight, mighty nice
-凯特？-很好 音域如何？
-Kate? -Good job. How was the range?
你好 莱丝莉
Hey, Leslie.
今天我听到了一些你的事情
I heard something about you today.
一些让人不快的事情
Something upsetting.
你是同性恋吗？
Are you a homo?
不 太荒谬了
No! That's ridiculous.
当然了
Of course it is!
我是说 那超恶心的
I mean, ew, gross.
不管怎样 希望你能度过难关
Either way, I hope you overcome this.
我会为你祈祷的
I'll pray for you.
谢谢
Thanks.
放这卷
Play this.
是什么影片？
What's on it?
我不能告诉你 反正
Can't tell you that.
-快点 是1♥8♥禁♥的吗？-不是
-Come on. Is it inappropriate? -No.
-那我有什么好处？-有没有搞错？
-All right. What's in it for me? -Really?
没错
Yeah.
-路克？-等我一下
-Um, Luke? -One sec.
-我有什么好处？-路克