诸事不顺（2018）

我没办法呼吸 我生来不是为了拿着相机
I can't breathe. I wasn't put on this planet to point a freakin' camera
对着该死的婚礼蛋糕拍照
at a freakin' wedding cake.
我一直在想着《第三类接触》
I keep thinking about Close Encounters.
在最后 李察德雷大众向地球告别
At the end, Richard Dreyfuss, he says goodbye to Earth
他搭上了外星人的船舰
and he gets on that UFO.
他必须这样做
He has to.
为了伟大的未知
Gotta say goodbye to your friends and family...
跟亲朋好友告别
...for the great unknown.
英雄就是这样 艺术家就是这样
That's a hero. That's an artist.
真正的艺术家不需要朋友和家人
And a real artist doesn't need friends or family.
诸事不顺
第一季 第十集
别忘了 各位河狸《银河间的情欲》明晚首映
Don't forget, Beavers, Intergalactic Lust premieres tomorrow night.
不来你会后悔
Be there or be square.
你为什么会在这？
Why are you here?
好了 卡
And, cut.
各位 给凯特热烈鼓掌一下
Hey, everyone, big ups to Kate
因为她 我们才能来这里拍片
for making this all happen.
这里是帕奇家 我是史考特
Pocket residence, Scott speaking.
你好 我是路克欧尼尔
Hey, pal, it's Luke O'Neil.
赛卓克 兄弟
Cedric, hey, my man.
我知道今晚首映 莱丝莉
I know the screening is tonight, Leslie.
我需要你的帮忙
I need your help.
-这样整部电影都变了 -我知道 就是要这样
-T-This changes the whole movie. -I know. That's the idea.
怎么行得通？今晚就要首映了 你时间不够了 福尔摩斯
How's that gonna work? Premiere's tonight, you're out of time, homes.
直到灯光暗下来前我都还有时间 然后
I'm only out of time when the lights go down. And...
开拍
Action!
你能改变想法非常明智
You're wise to come around.
-你觉得你行吗？-当然没问题 这有什么难的？
-Think you got it? -Ain't no thing, but a chicken wing.
然后
And...
开拍
Action!
我能告诉麦奎德你要更改电影吗？
Can I tell McQuaid you're changing the movie?
不能
No.
那可以跟凯特说吗？
Can I tell Kate?
特别是要对凯特保密
Especially not Kate.
那我可以跟泰勒说吗？
Can I tell Tyler?
不能让任何人知道 这必须是个惊喜 好吗？
No one can know about this. It has to be a surprise. Okay?
好吧
Okay.
录音
Roll sound.
知道这点 爱着你 让我成为更好的人
Know this, I'm better for loving you.
母带
波林高中 河狸之家
首映：《银河间的情欲》
好好享受
Enjoy.
电影票3美元
-你是路克的妈妈吗？-对 没错 我是
-Are you Luke's Mom? -Yeah, yeah, I am.
我带你去你的座位
I will show you to your seat.
好 谢谢你
Okay. Thank you.
二楼观众席关闭
上面还是有点潮湿
It's still a little soggy up here.
跟我来
Follow me.
-漂亮妹 -伊曼琳
-Hey, good-looking. -Hey.
很好看的洋装
Nice dress.
谢谢你
Oh, thank you.
好像是某人帮我挑的
Somebody might have helped me pick it out.
你也穿鼻洞了
You pierced your nose.
是啊 好像是某人给我灵感的
Yep, somebody might have inspired me.
我有东西要给你
I got you something.
跟你的指甲油很搭
It matches your nails.
真的呢
Oh... yeah.
谢谢你
Thanks.
你想要一起坐吗？
So, do you want to sit together?
这还要问吗？
Doesn't that go without saying?
当然了
Of course!
对 当然了 我只是不知道你想不想跟我坐
Yeah, totally. I just didn't know if you wanted to sit with me,
或者自己坐 因为那可能
or sit alone, 'cause that would be...
凯特
Kate...
我想跟你一起坐
I want to sit with you.
干杯
Cheers.
你要坐在前排 跟那位男士一起
You're to sit in the front row, next to the gentleman.
好好享受
Enjoy the show.
-你好 -你好
-Hi. -Hi.
如果你要的话 我可以坐别的位子
I can move if you prefer.
不 没关系
No. No, that's okay.
是路克让你坐这的吗？
Did Luke send you up here?
对
Yeah.
要爆米花吗？
Popcorn?
你确定两个人这样够吃吗？
Are you sure you have enough to share?
不够
No.
那不给你吃了
No popcorn for you.
你好吗？
How are you?
我 之前比较好
I... I've been better.
你呢？
You?
我也是
Same.
那你会紧张吗？
S-s-so, you nervous?
紧张是一种非理性的感受 并没有任何实际的用处
Nervousness is an irrational feeling that has no practical application whatsoever.
那你会紧张吗？
So, y-you nervous?
非常紧张 没错
Very much so, yes.
对 我想也是
Yeah, I thought so.
老兄 她来了
Dude, she's here.
麦奎德 这晚宴西装很好看嘛
McQuaid, good-looking tux.
你从哪买♥♥的？
Where'd you get it?
是旧西装了 我家人买♥♥好几年了
Oh, this old thing's... It's been in my family for years.
真的啊？
Really?
-我在二手商店有看到一样的 -不可能
-I saw the same one at the thrift store. -No.
不可能 才不是这样
No, I don't think so.
我准备好了
I'm ready.
请开聚光灯
Cue spotlight.
各位好
Hello.
我是路克欧尼尔
I'm Luke O'Neil.
谢谢各位出席
Thank you all for coming.
我认识的一个人
This guy I once knew
他说要成为艺术家 就不能被任何事情干扰
said that in order to be an artist, you couldn't be held back by things.
包含朋友和家人
Things like friends or family.
我不晓得 我现在会提到是因为
I don't know. The reason I bring this up now is because it's...
这让我了解了一些事情
it's helped me realize something.
就是那家伙百分之百说错了
That guy was one hundred percent wrong.
多亏我的朋友和家人 我才能拍出这部电影
It's because of my friends and my family that I've been able to make this movie.
这是我们所有人的电影
This is our movie.
我要感谢戏剧社和视听社的各位
And, I want to thank everyone from Drama Club to A/V Club,
还有史达格鲁夫
to Stargrove.
你好吗 兄弟？
What's up, man?
但最重要的 我想谢谢麦斯纳先生
But, most importantly, I want to thank Mr. Messner.
谢谢你让我们去加州
Thank you for allowing us to go to Cali.
我想说的是 我觉得你是个很棒的人
And for what it's worth, I think you're a really good dude.
好了
All right.
请各位享受这部电影
Enjoy the movie, everyone.
"各位朋友 你们好
Greetings, my friends.
我们都对未来充满兴趣
We are all interested in the future,
因为我们会一起在那里度过余生"
for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.
你们接着即将看到慑人的故事
You will now witness the shocking tale
讲述的是跨星球的爱恋
of a literal star-crossed love affair...
这是新的版本？
Is this new?
发生在很久以后的未来
...light-years from now.
这是有个不幸的家伙
The story of a man so unfortunate
和最禁忌的外星异种陷入情网的故事
as to fall in love with the most forbidden of alien kind.
各位朋友 那一刻已经到来
My friends, the moment has come.
你们的心脏能承受
Can your hearts withstand
一则讲述银河间的情欲
the shocking tale that is
这样的故事吗？
Intergalactic Lust?
《银河间的情欲》
至于你们 我的美国同胞都明白
As you, my fellow Americans, well know,
改善太空计划 一直是我任期内很重要的安排
improving the space program has been important to my administration.
这也是为什么我如此有自信