诸事不顺（2018）

你们只是帮忙的 懂吗？
You guys helped, got it?
-看来又要重新上演《腥风怒吼》了 -没错
-Looks like Candyman's back. -No kidding.
路克
Luke.
凯特 现在不是时候 我还有很多任务作 已经没时间了
Kate, not now, I got a lot of work and no time to do it.
如果这部电影没拍好 全校都会笑我的
If I don't get this movie right, the whole school will laugh at me.
虽然也不是第一次了
It wouldn't be the first time.
-你知道我们的爸妈在约会吗？-是过去式了
-Did you know our parents were dating? -Were... dating.
很高兴都结束了 真恶心
Glad that's over, it's disgusting.
你可以别烦我吗？
Can you please leave me alone?
我真不敢相信 你跟那个王九蛋交往过
I can't believe you dated that a-hole.
路克 应该要念成鲁蛇克
Luke, more like, puke.
说真的 他就是个大混♥蛋♥
Seriously. He's a capital J-E-R-K.
够了 莱丝莉 我已经听懂了
Jesus, Leslie, I get it already.
你好啊
Hey.
你好啊
Hey.
你是谁？你把伊曼琳怎么了？
Who are you and what have you done with Emaline?
可以聊聊吗？
Can we talk?
好 好 当然
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
抱歉在搭巴士回家的路上都不理你
I'm sorry I ignored you on the bus ride home.
这样真的很不应该
That was really shitty.
没关系
It's okay.
我想你应该 还在为奥利佛的事情不开心
I figured you were still upset about Oliver.
对啊 没错 管他去死
Yeah, right. Screw him.
没有错
Damn straight.
那天晚上在旅店
That night at the hotel...
你说过的话
the things you said,
你说你觉得我很完美
that you thought I was perfect...
你是认真的吗？
Did you mean it?
是啊
Yeah.
我很困惑 因为 你说那些话 然后我们几乎要
I'm confused, 'cause, you said that, and then we almost...
对啊 差不多接下来的两个礼拜吧
Yeah, for the next two weeks.
好
Cool.
我看到你跟路克牵手
I saw you and Luke holding hands.
我在想你们是在一起还是
I guess, I was wondering if you guys are a thing or...
如果是的话 也没关系啦
If you are, it's totally cool.
不 没有
No, we're not.
我们只是朋友
We're just friends.
我们以前是朋友
Or, we were, I...
我不知道现在算什么
I don't really know right now.
你喜欢我吗？
Do you like me?
什么意思？
What do you mean?
你知道我是什么意思
You know what I mean.
我喜欢你
I like you.
这样可以吗？
Is that okay?
可以
Yes.
你要去哪里？
Which way are you going?
-那边 -我是另一边
-That way. -I'm the other way.
-那 -放学后你想来我家吗？
-So... -Want to come to my place after school?
好啊
Sure.
在置物柜见好吗？
Meet by your locker?
好啊
Cool.
晚点见 亲爱的
See you later, sweetie.
麦奎德
McQuaid!
怎么样啊？小子？
What up, home-slice?
你好
Hello.
各位女士 这位男士是位疯狂的热情亲亲好手
Ladies, this guy is a mad passionate kisser,
我这是经验之谈
speaking from experience!
我同意
A... Agreed.
抱歉 台词是什么？我这次会说对
Sorry, what's the line? I'll get it right this time.
波洛格先生 我找到这个人类
Mr. Blorg, I found this human.
是波洛格司令
Commander Blorg.
我在一艘废弃的太空船上找到
This human was found by an abandoned...
这个人类
ship.
抱歉 好 波洛格司令
Sorry. Okay, okay. Com-Commander Blorg.
台词 怎样？
Line, what?
泰勒 我需要你的帮忙
Oh, Tyler, I need your help.
-我在写作业 -那不急
-I'm doing homework. -Okay, it can wait.
事实上 我写作业的时间是你的两倍 所以蛮急的
Actually, it takes me twice as long as you to do it. So, it can't.
我帮你写吧 听我说 拜托
Okay, I'll do it for you. Just listen to me, please.
我现在要跟你说的 是最高机密 听到没？
What I'm about to tell you should be considered classified, capisce?
是什么？
What is it?
你要说听到了 我才能告诉你
Say capisce back, then I'll tell you.
-听到了 -好
-Capisce. -Okay.
我不敢相信我会说出这些话 但我很肯定这些话无误
I cannot believe these words I'm about to say, but I believe them to be accurate.
我觉得伊曼琳雅达利亚喜欢我
I think Emaline Adaria likes me.
-不 才怪 -对 但如果她喜欢我呢？
-No, she doesn't. -Yeah, but what if she does?
就算我是错的 我宁愿感受到羞耻感以及失败的悔恨
Even if I'm wrong, I would rather feel a sense of shame and regret for failing
也不要连试都不试
than not trying at all.
泰勒 拜托
Tyler, please.
那你需要什么帮助？
What do you need help with?
我要知道怎么打扮得酷一点
I need to know how to dress cool.
"噗好意思 可以宅说一次吗？"
Ex-squeeze me, of baking powder?
好啦 你蛮有型的 算是吧
Okay, you have style... kind of.
但我不是
I do not.
而且我真的没人可以问了
That, and I literally have no one else to ask.
好吧
Okay.
太好了 谢谢你
Oh, great. Great, thank you.
那我们在首映会前先去购物 太好了
Okay, we'll go shopping before the premiere. Cool.
那你今晚要干嘛？我录了《神秘科学戏院3000》
Hey, what are you doing tonight? I taped Mystery Sci...
抱歉 没时间玩小朋友的玩意 我打算要想一下该说什么
Sorry, no time for kid stuff. I have to plan what I'm gonna say!
抱歉
Sorry.
真糟糕
That was cruddy.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
为什么我所有朋友都见色忘友？
How come I'm losing all my friends to girls?
-只有我这样想吗？-不 绝对不是
-Is it me? -No, definitely not.
你不应该责怪自己
You shouldn't blame yourself.
说实话 你也没什么机会
Truth be told, you never stood a chance.
女性物种实在太强大了 还非常神秘
The female species is extremely powerful and highly mysterious.
有时候我们会安静地待在你身边
Sometimes, we quietly saddle up, right next to you,
但在你意识到以前 你已经成为囊中物
and before you even know it, you're ours.
就像蜘蛛一样
Like a spider.
对啊
Yeah.
我朋友们都被蜘蛛吃掉了
My friends have been eaten by spiders.
真讨厌
This sucks the big one.
是啊 我知道你的感受
Yeah, I know how you feel.
我基本上可说是没有朋友
I pretty much don't have any friends.
所以
So...
再见了 莱丝莉
See ya, Leslie.
爸？
Dad?
你在干嘛？
What are you doing?
我只是在喝水而已
I-I was just getting a drink of water.
你还好吗？
Are you okay?
还好
Yeah.
我跟在约会的那位女士 发展得不太顺利
Things didn't work out with that... that lady I was seeing.
但你也知道 没什么啦
But, you know, it's no big deal.
你想聊聊吗？
Wanna talk about it?
不 你知道吗？今天把我当校长就好了
No, you know, maybe just treat me like the principal today.
嘿
Hey.
我刚看到你♥爸♥爸
I just saw your dad.
准备好了吗？
You ready?
我今天没办法跟你约了
I can't hang out today.
为什么？
Why not?
有件事情我得去做 不是因为你
There's something I have to do, it's not you.
-我保证 我真的 -凯特 没关系 我明白
-I promise, I, I really... -Kate, it's okay, I get it.
改天再约吧？
Rain check?
好
Yeah.
谢谢你
Thanks.
波洛格司令
Commander Blorg...
台词
Line.
波洛格司令
Com-Commander B-Blorg!