诸事不顺（2018）

and, um, get stoned and watch the planes take off.
是这样才让你想当空姐 空服员吗？
Is that what made you want to be a stewardess or flight attendant?
我从来就没想过要当空服员
I never wanted to be a flight attendant.
但我的确很喜欢 偶尔能暂时离开日常生活的想法
But I always liked the idea of flying away from life for a minute. You know?
年轻的时候 都觉得外面的世界好大
When you're young, you feel there's this big world out there,
到处都是机会 我就跟着那感觉走
full of possibility, and I chased that feeling.
一直来到了波林
All the way to Boring.
没错
Right.
不 那是李洛伊的主意
No, that was Leroy's idea.
他不是个好人
He is not a good person.
我不喜欢这样说 但路克值得比他更好的爸爸
I don't like saying that, but he is not the father that Luke deserves.
但最后也是过得不错
It all worked out for the best.
你有感觉到什么吗？
So, do you feel anything?
不 没有 我想没有
Oh, no. I don't-- I don't think so.
第一次通常没什么感觉 最好不要吸太多
You don't always feel it the first time. Better not overdo it.
或许 可以再吸一小口
Oh, maybe, maybe just one more little puff.
多利多兹 乡村沙拉酱口味
不
No.
怎么办？我这辈子从没这么饿过
Sherry, what do we do? I've never been so hungry in my life.
我觉得我要死了
I think I'm dying.
听着 你不会死
Hey, you're not dying.
-你只是嘴馋罢了 我也是 -等等
-You just have the munchies and so do I. -Wait!
-你有钥匙？-我有全部的钥匙
-You have the key? -I have all the keys.
太好了
Yes!
我是钥匙大王 亲爱的
I'm the key master, baby.
感谢老天
Oh, thank God!
跟我来
Come with me!
别管了 就在那里
Leave it. We're right here.
不好意思
Excuse me.
抱歉 让我们过去一下
Hi. Sorry. Excuse us.
抱歉 谢谢
Sorry, thank you.
那
So...
我们到了
This is us.
抱歉走了这么远
Sorry we're so far away.
你认真的吗？我还是不敢相信你为我这样做了
Are you kidding? I still can't believe you did this for me.
为了我们
For us.
你真棒 谢谢你
You're amazing. Thank you.
波特兰的大家都好吗？
So, how's it going, Portland?
我好想你们
You've been so missed.
谢谢你们今晚来
Thank you for coming tonight.
真是太棒了
This is incredible.
我可以感觉到大脑在运作
I can actually feel my brain working.
神经损伤和脊椎健康
就像完美的管弦乐队一样 在指挥我的身体
Conducting my body like a perfectly calibrated orchestra.
牛顿定律
我敢说很多伟大的科学家都有吸毒
I bet a lot of the great scientists were stoners.
我是说不然艾萨克牛顿爵士 怎么可能一天到晚
I mean, how else is Sir Isaac Newton gonna spend all that time
都在想重力之类的事情？
thinking about gravity and stuff?
只有嗑嗨了才会想到这些
That is stoner thinking.
他做的不只是想想而已
Uh, he did more than think about it.
他发现了万有引力定律
He discovered the Law of Universal Gravitation.
不管他有没有发表 我们的脚都一样会站在陆地上
Our feet would still be stuck to the ground whether or not he said so.
别贬低艾萨克爵士
Oh, don't undersell Sir Isaac.
他是现代物理学之父
The man was the father of modern physics.
他写下了光学定律 牛顿运动定律
He wrote the laws of optics, the laws of motion.
我是说 他居然为了好玩 发明了微积分
I mean, he invented calculus, for fun!
科学展
他的心灵之美
The beauty of his mind.
我也希望我跟他一样聪明
I wish I was that smart.
我不希望
I don't.
我觉得那么聪明一定很孤独 懂吗？
I think it'd be lonely being that smart, you know?
世界上没有其他人能理解你
No one else in the world who really gets you.
不用当现代物理学之父 人生就已经够孤独了
Life's lonely enough without having to be the father of modern physics.
过来
Come here.
做什么？
What?
游泳池
抱歉 能否让我暂时成为你
Excuse me But can I be you for a while?
只要你坐着不动 我的狗就不会咬你
My dog won't bite If you sit real still
反基♥督♥者又在厨房♥里对着我大吼了
I got the Antichrist in the kitchen Yellin' at me again
没错 我听得一清二楚
Yeah, I can hear
又被垃圾车救了一次
Been saved again by the garbage truck
你知道我有话想说 但什么都说不出口
I got something to say, you know But nothing comes
没错 我知道你怎么看我
Yes, I know what you think of me
你从来就不懂闭嘴
You never shut up
没错 我听得一清二楚
Yeah, I can hear that
若我是一条美人鱼
But what if I'm a mermaid
穿上他的牛仔裤
In these jeans of his
上面还有她的名字
With her name still on it
但我不在意
Hey, but I don't care
因为有时候 我说有时候 我能听到自己的声音
'Cause sometimes I said sometimes I hear my voice
就在这里
And it's been here
沉寂多年
Silent all these...
这么多年过去了 我是否还会继续等待
Years go by Will I still be waiting
等待别人的理解
For somebody else to understand?
这么多年过去了 如果我的美貌已经不再
Years go by If I'm stripped of my beauty
橘色的云朵在我脑中下起雨
And the orange clouds raining In my head
又一次伤亡
One more casualty
你知道我们都太温和了
You know we're too easy
太温和了
Easy, easy
沉寂多年
Silent all these years
沉寂
Silent all these...
沉寂多年
Silent all these years
这真好玩
This was really fun.
对啊 没错
Yeah, it was.
是啊
Uh, yeah.
你 我的
When my--
当凯特的妈妈 过世的时候
when Kate's mom, when she passed away,
她已经病了好几年了
she'd been sick for a number of years.
受苦了好久
In pain for a long time.
那是十年前的事情
That was ten years ago.
这么久以来 我都不觉得 我能再跟谁有这样的默契
This whole time, I never thought I'd feel a connection with anyone ever again.
直到现在
Till now.
我知道我们这样做是为了好玩之类的
I know this is just fun or whatever,
但我想谢谢你 给了我一点希望
but I wanna thank you for giving me a little hope.
真是太棒了 我以前从没看过那样的表演
That was amazing. I've never seen anything like that before.
她弹钢琴的时候 那么用力地弹
Oh! When she was playing the piano, didn't you think she was gonna smash it
你有没有觉得她会把钢琴弹坏？
the way she was pounding it like that?
有啊 没错
Yeah. Totally.
天啊 我是说她真的好酷
Oh, my gosh. I mean, she's just so cool.
其实她一直让我想到你
She reminds me so much of you, actually.
你喜欢今天的表演吗？
Um, so did you enjoy the show?
喜欢 简直是最精彩的 谢谢你
Yeah. It was the best, thank you.
这是有史以来最棒的约会
It was the best date ever.
不过这不算是真正的约会
Except, it wasn't a date-date.
这是假的约会
It was a fake date.
我知道 但是你知道 真 假约会有差别吗？
Yeah, I know. But, you know, date, fake date, what's the difference?
差别在于一个是真的 一个不是
Um, the difference is that one is real, and one isn't.
然后今天的不是真的 我们的交往关系也不是真的
So, this wasn't real. Our relationship is not real.
但如果是真的约会 又会有什么差别吗？
Yeah, but would it have been different if it was a real date?
路克
Luke...
我觉得我们应该分手
I think we need to breakup.
如果我们没有在交往 那又要怎么分手？
How can we break up if we're not in a relationship--
天啊 路克 别这样
Jesus, Luke, stop!
不管你觉得是怎么样 你都想错了 好吗？
Whatever you think that this is, it isn't, okay?
我就是我
I am what I am.
我们不是情侣 我们永远都不会是
And we're not a couple, and we're not going to be, ever.
任何时段皆禁止停车
车子呢？
Where's the car?
好
Mm. Okay.
你需要接吗？
Um, do you need to get that?
-不用 -不用
-No. -No.
-你确定你不想 -给我一秒钟
-Are you sure you don't want to-- -Just one quick sec.
抱歉 我要去找电♥话♥
Look, I'm sorry. I should probably find a phone.
干 干 为什么？