诸事不顺（2018）

徙弟
历经种种时光
Pass through different times
全部留在身后
Leave them all behind
包车旅游
全部留在身后
Leave them all behind
全部留在身后
Leave them all behind
全部留在身后
Leave them all behind
诸事不顺
第一季 第八集
波林高中
你知道吗？我真不敢相信 我们真的要在这里拍
You know, I can't believe we're actually doing this.
美国
-谢谢你 -谢我爸吧
-Thank you. -Thank my dad.
是他帮我们安排的
He's the one who hooked us up.
-麦怪胎 -怎样？
-McWeird. -What?
多明尼格斯岩石区 我们来了
Dominguez Rocks! Here we come!
看来有人刚看完《魔女游戏》
It looks like someone saw The Craft.
对不起 我迟到了
Sorry I'm late.
没关系 还有一个人还没来 史达格鲁夫
No, it's all good. We're waiting on one more, Stargrove.
事实上 大家都到了
Actually, um, we're all here.
什么叫大家都到了？
What do you mean?
等等 泰勒 为什么你穿着奥利佛的大衣？
Tyler, why are you wearing Oliver's trench coat?
请你们不要迁怒传话的人 但是
So, don't shoot the messenger, but...
他怎样？
He what?!
"给亲爱的泰勒 纽约在呼唤我
"Dear Tyler, New York calls.
总有一天你会跟我一样展翅高飞"
One day, like me, you'll soar."
天啊 那愚蠢的王八蛋
God, stupid son of a bitch.
我不敢相信他真的这样做了
I still can't believe he actually did it.
纽约的辣妹一定会让那小子吃不消
Those New York City hotties are gonna be all over that kid.
让我搞清楚 我要开车载你们一路开到洛杉矶
Wait, so let me get this straight. I'm driving you kids all the way to LA
好让你们的电影取景 但你们的主角却不在场？
to shoot a scene from your movie, and your lead isn't even here?
-不如现在掉头吧 -不
-Better just turn around now. - No.
我是不会让某些自以为了不起的傻瓜
I am not letting some egomaniacal douchebag
阻挠我一直以来努力的一切
get in the way of everything I've been working for.
我们努力的一切 我们会想办法的 对吧？
Everything we've been working for. We'll figure this out. Right?
-对 没错 -那好
-Yeah. Totally. -Yeah, okay.
好 所以在回到 格伦普同奈星球的路上
So, um, maybe on the way back
太空船通过了类似小行星带的东西
to Gloptonia the ship passes through, like, an asteroid belt.
有颗小行星打中太空船 杀了奥利佛
An asteroid hits the ship, killing Oliver.
-我可以接受 -但他不是应该到最后才死吗？
-Works for me. -But isn't he supposed to die at the end?
或许他穿过了会改变形体的气体
Maybe he passes through a cloud of shape-shifting gas
只对男性产生作用
that affects males only,
-改变了他的外表 -这样也行啊
-and it changes his appearance. -That could work.
当太空船着陆时 波洛格不再由奥利佛饰演
So when the ship lands, Blorg is no longer played by Oliver,
而是由
but instead played by...
好吧 我来演 但我要全部改写 还要独♥立♥感谢画面
Fine, I'll do it. But I get a page one rewrite and sole credit.
不 我来演吧
No, I'll do it.
奥利佛把外套给我了 这一定代表什么
Oliver gave me his coat. That means something.
你已经在电影有角色了 小子 反正你也记不得台词
You're already in the movie. You can't remember your lines as it is.
我知道我的台词是什么 丹尼斯罗德曼
I know my lines, Dennis Rodman.
我来演吧
I'll do it!
麦奎德 真的吗？
McQuaid, really?
对 我在片中还没出现过
Yeah, I haven't been in the film yet.
我的演技可能很烂
And my acting's probably garb,
也许会产生另一种层次的笑点
but maybe that will provide a new layer of humor.
我是说 我是唯一合理的人选
I mean, I'm... I'm the only logical choice.
好吧 麦奎德 是时候到幕前啦
All right, McQuaid. Way to step it up.
但 这一定会很棒的
But... this is gonna be great.
有人有带音乐吗？
Did anyone bring any music?
这里有一卷录音带
There's a tape up there.
你知道你跟伊曼琳有吻戏吧？
You do know you have a kissing scene with Emaline, right?
我清楚得不得了
Oh, I'm very aware of that.
太好了 是王牌合唱团
Oh, sweet. Ace of Base.
什么？
What?
不
No.
不
No.
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
你想做什么都可以 只要你好好把握当下
You can do what you want Just seize the day
不管你做什么 明天都会一样美好
What you're doing tomorrow's Gonna come your way
不准有放弃的念头
Don't you ever consider giving up
你会发现
You will find
喔
Oh...
人生多么美好
It's a beautiful life
喔
Oh-oh-oh-oh
人生多么美好
It's a beautiful life
喔
Oh-oh-oh-oh
人生多么美好
It's a beautiful life
喔
Oh-oh-oh-oh
我只想在这里 跟你在一起
I just want to be here beside you
"百战百胜
Victorious!
地球上的干酪贩子总有一天会后悔
Cheese Mongers of Earth shall rue the day
是他们惹上了伟大的波洛格
they provoked the mighty Blorg.
札琴达 我的爱 你怎么说你雄壮威武的未婚夫？"
Zarginda, my love, what say you of your studly betrothed?
不行 兄弟 你要这样说
No, dude, you gotta say it like this:
"札琴达 我的爱"
"Zarginda, my love..."
咻
Schwing!
等等 泰勒 你去买♥♥些汽水过来 好吗？
Wait. Tyler, can you grab us some sodas, please?
我包包里有零钱
The change is in my bag.
谢谢你
Thank you.
路克 我们聊一下吻戏好吗？
Luke, can we talk about the kiss?
怎样？
What about it?
一到十分 热情度要几分？
How passionate should it be on a scale of one to ten?
-我觉得应该要把它变成卖♥♥点 -等一下
-I think we really need to sell it. -Wait a minute.
这是你的初吻 对吧？
This is your first kiss, isn't it?
对 重点是什么？
Yes, your point?
真是的 老兄
Uh, dude!
你知道这会永存在录像带中吧？
You know it's gonna be on tape forever.
总有一天你可以给你的孩子看 如果你想要的话
You could show it to your kids one day. If you want to.
真棒
Great.
对了 伊曼琳
Hey, Emaline...
我知道你现在大概没心情聊天
I know you're probably not in the mood to talk.
我只想说奥利佛的事情 我很遗憾
I just want to say I'm sorry about Oliver.
不论如何 像那样离开你的人
Someone who would just leave you like that...
不值得继续谈感情
wasn't worth it to begin with.
你怎么办到的？
How do you do it?
办到什么？
Do what?
对你来说好像很轻松
It's like it's so easy for you.
我不确定我知道你在说什么
I'm not sure I know what you're referring to.
你就这样活着
You just exist.
你都不用为了迁就别人 改变自己
You don't have to be anything for anybody.
这样是好事吗？
Is that a good thing?
当然是了
Of course, it is.
对我来说 我一直都是奥利佛的女朋友
For me, I've always just been Oliver's girlfriend.
疯婆子
Psycho chick.
但现在他走了 就像
Now that he's gone, it's like...
那我要做什么呢？
what am I even doing?
我喜欢成为众人焦点 这点我承认
I like the attention. I'm not gonna lie.
但我想内心深处 我
But I think deep down I just...
我只想要成为他的焦点
I wanted his attention.
你知道他怎么告诉我要离开的事吗？
You know how he told me he was leaving?
他没说
He didn't.
他爸爸打给我 问我知不知道他在哪里
His dad called me and asked if I knew where he was.
对他来说 我只是道具
I was just a prop to him.
我好可悲
I'm so pathetic.
不 你完全是可悲的相反
No, you're the opposite of pathetic.
你很有趣
You're funny.
你很有自信
You're confident.
跟他相比 你演技好太多了
You're a way better actor than he ever was.
这倒是
That's true.
你为什么要对我这么好？
Why are you being so nice to me?
我以前对你很坏
I was a total bitch to you.
对 你为什么以前要对我这么坏？
Yeah, why were you so mean to me?
我不知道