熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S01E24

Part 3 Dec. 8, 2020, 11:20 p.m.

因为鲍比是个逃避者
Because Bobby is a runner.
他每次遇到不想面对的问题时
Any time he gets news that he doesn't want to deal with,
撒腿就跑你应该看看我那时
He bolts. You should've seen him
给他离婚协议书时候他的反应
when I tried to give him our divorce papers.
鲍比这对大家都好
Bobby, it's for the best!
-你哪儿来的沙滩越野车 -海滩警卫那里
- Where'd you get an A.T.V.? - From a lifeguard. Der!
他就这么让你借了
He just... let you borrow it?
你是侦探吗把那双鞋给我
What are you, a detective? Hand me those shoes.
-好了他哪儿也去不了了 -好计划
-All right. He ain't running nowhere. - It's a great plan.
-没错吧 -我没有马桶
- Right? - I don't have a toilet.
只有温啤了
Warm beer.
我不敢相信你教斯坦说"鲍比"
I cannot believe you taught Stan how to say "Bobby"
我有一张你非常想看的电影的名单
I have a list of all the movies you've ever wanted to see,
只要斯坦每说一次鲍比
And every time Stan says the name "Bobby,"
我就剧透给你电影的结局
I'm gonna ruin the ending for you.
好好看着
This is good for you to see.
安迪是最强的防守人
Andy is a fantastic defensive player.
他在睡觉
He's sleepin'..
不他是装睡
No, he's just pretending.
看着
Watch.
安迪来跟我们聊天
Andy, come on. Talk to us.
艾莉还在生气吗
Does Ellie still look mad?
《十八岁之狼》结尾男主角没有变身狼人
At the end of "Teen wolf," He wins the big game
就赢了篮球比赛
without having to turn into a teen wolf.
靠我为了看那个等了25年
Damn it, woman. I waited 25 years to see that!
为什么
Why?
听着鲍比我们来是因为
Look, Bobby, the reason we're here is because...
我们真的很关心你
We really care about you.
你不知道我现在多需要听到这话
Oh, I can't tell you how bad I needed to hear that right now.
给你们看点东西
Can I show you something?
看这俩家伙
Look at those two.
-好可爱 -没有比这更糟的了
- It's so cute. - It's bull crap is what it is.
对我自己的狗我是第三者
I'm a third wheel to my own dog.
对崔维斯和凯莉我是第三者
I'm a third wheel with Travis and kylie.
对艾莉和安迪我是第三者
I'm a third wheel to Ellie and Andy.
连劳里也有了男友
Even Laurie's got a boyfriend.
呃鲍比格雷森和我
Uh, um, Bobby, Grayson and I, uh...
你说句话啊
You wanna jump in there?
不不你干得很好
Huh? No. Mnh-mnh. You're crushing it.
同志们我们是最后三个单身者
Guys, we're the last three standing.
我不想变成一个忧郁自哀的人
Now I hate to be daddy downer,
但如果我成为唯一一个单身的人
But I have to say, if I was the only one single,
我就不知道我能做什么了
I don't know what I would do.
我也是敬我们单身一族
Me, neither. To us, the single folk.
我不能告诉鲍比这会毁了他的
I couldn't tell Bobby. It would've destroyed him.
太让人郁闷了
Oh, this sucks.
怎么了上♥床♥和免费红酒是等价交换
What? Sex has to equal free wine.
那不如把我的小费也拿走
Why don't you just, uh, steal my tips, too?
太好了待会儿出去吃个冰激凌
Oh, great. Yeah. I'm going out for ice cream later.
好了我们得想个新计划
All ght. We gotta come up with a new plan.
你为什么一定要有计划
What is it with you and plans?
任何事有计划的时候会更好
Everything works better when you have a plan--
生日度假谋杀
Birthdays, vacations, murders.
我不知道为什么会提到谋杀
I don't know why I said murders.
这又不像做些白日梦要甩掉谁
It's not like I daydream about trying to get away with one.
那才诡异
That would be weird.
你干吗不直接告诉他呢
Why didn't you just tell him? Hmm?
为什么你做什么事都这么困难
Why does everything always have to be so difficult with you?
-这句话真是败笔 -好极了
- That wasn't the right thing to say. - Oh, this is good.
你可以看看格雷森的防御机制
Now you're gonna get to see Grayson's defense mechanism.
当女人冲他发火时他就像机器人关机
When a woman really goes at him, he just shuts down like a robot.
你不是鲍比的朋友吗
Aren't you Bobby's friend?
你不在乎他的心情吗
Don't you care about his feelings?
现在关机
And shut down.
你不想和我说话了是吧
You're not gonna talk to me now? Hello!
非常好今晚你可以待在自己家里了
Oh, you know what? You get to stay at your place tonight.
好好享受
Enjoy it.
重新启动
And reboot.
太扯淡了我妈交往的是终结者啊
Holy crap. My mom's dating the terminator.
你知道为什么我更喜欢和你
You know why I'd rather play fetch
而不是狗玩捡球游戏
with you than my dog?
因为你永远不会把球拿给你的
It's 'cause you would never bring the ball back
小小狗女友
to your tiny, little dog girlfriend.
-你会拿回给我 -朋友重于马子
- You'd bring it to me. - Bros before hos, man.
这里不是你们聚会的地方
This is not where we hang out now.
-女士们 -格雷兄来一瓶吧
- Hey, ladies. - Gray matter! Get involved, baby.
-好吧给我一瓶 -给你
- Fine. Beer me. - There you go.
艾莉很抱歉我依然在这里当电灯泡
I'm sorry for still third-wheelin' it, Ellie.
我只是很怀念大家单身做朋友的日子
I just miss the days of us just being friends hanging out.
现在大家都成双成对了养养孩子啥的
But now everyone's all coupled up, raising kids and whatnot.
感觉好像连做朋友的时间都没有了
Just seems like we don't have time to be pals anymore, you know?
我明白
I do.
你在做什么
What are you doing?
茱尔斯听着
No, Jules, listen.
格雷森今晚你就别指望了
It's not happening tonight, Grayson.
想看看你错过了什么好东东吗
So you wanna take a quick gander at what you're missing?
刚擦过乳液
Bam! Freshly moisturized.
没错只看不碰小小不爽吧
Yep. Must hurt just a little bit, hmm?
我有计划了
I have a plan.
不是吧你居然有计划了
Shut up! You have a plan?
我知道破天荒头一遭再让我看看
I know. First time ever. Now flash me again.
不告诉我是什么计划
No, no. Tell me the plan.
好吧
Oh, fine.
快说详细点
Okay. Tell me everything!
说什么
About what?
格雷森和我有个主意
Okay, Grayson and I have an idea.
今晚我们一起去海滩
Tonight we're all gonna go to the beach.
喝酒篝火和从前一样
We're gonna drink wine, build a bonfire just like the old days.
最棒的是我们以朋友身份去
And here's the catch--we're all gonna go just as friends.
不接受情侣情侣一起去都不行
No couples allowed. Couples can't even ride there together.
茱尔斯太棒了
Hell, yeah, Jules.
海滩单身聚会芭布喜欢
Singles' party at the beach, huh? Barb like-y.
海浪中嬉戏
Frolicking in the waves,
私密部位沾满了沙
your privates getting sandblasted
-如保龄球奖杯一般耀眼 -说完了吗
- so they shine like a bowling trophy. - You done?
还没
Not yet.
这就是我总是随身带着泳衣的原因
That's why I always carry my swimsuit.
这能遮住什么看起来就是张网
What does that even cover? It looks like a net.
能网住所有的小鱼
It catches all the little fishies.
拜小鱼
Bye, little fish.
见识到我平时要应付的是些什么了吧
Do you see what I have to deal with?
他还没有选择好防御的方式
He still hasn't picked a defensive style.
他最好快点
He'd better do it soon,
否则他的人生就会屈服于这个
or he should strap it on for a lifetime of this.
再次感谢你们的来访
Yeah, well, thanks again for coming over.
我不喜欢在感情中玩小把戏
Uh, look, I don't really like playing games in relationships,
也许我不需要所谓的风格
so maybe I don't need a "Style."
-女人会把你生吞活剥的 -可能你是对的
- Women are gonna eat you alive. - You're probay right.
-我只是在教你东西 -我知道
- I was just trying to teach you. - I know you were.
等等
Wait a minute.
你不断地同意就是为了让我们闭嘴吗
Are you just constantly agreeing to shut us up?
是的
Yeah.
喜欢吗
Do you like it?
太聪明了
It's brilliant!
你的风格就是说"是"
You're the "Yes" Man.
是
Yes!
是我是的
Yes, I am.
海滩时间到小崔去爷们儿那边
It's beach time! Trav, go join the guys.
-姐♥妹♥们♥ 出发 -好的
- Ladies, let's ride. - All right.
-我觉得我是对的你是错的 -是的
- I felt I was right, and you were wrong. - Totally.