熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S01E21

Part 2 Dec. 8, 2020, 11:19 p.m.

吃我一拳生活
Ha ha! Take that, life!
我还以为都不会录取他呢
Oh, I didn't think he would get in anywhere.
什么但是你说
What? But you said--
那无所谓了你不会和鲍比一样了
It doesn't matter now. You're not gonna be like bobby!
我不会和你一样了
I'm not gonna be like you!
你不会和我一样了太好了
You're not gonna be like me! Whoo-hoo!
小伙子你会席卷整个世界的
You, buddy, you are gonna take the world by storm.
家庭自信舞
Family confidence dance!
-照照镜子 -看看你自己那么聪明
- Look in the mirror! - Look at yourself, you so smart
-谁我吗 -不是你
- Who, me? - Not you
你真聪明
You so smart.
这么说要么是二十分钟车程在萨拉索塔的
So it's either college 20 minutes away in Sarasota
要么是二十小时车程在加州的
or 20 hours away in California.
你想让他去哪一个呢
Which one do you want him to go to?
和我没有关系是他自己的选择
It doesn't really matter what I want. It's his choice.
加州的天气棒极了
The weather is so good in California.
是啊那里还有地震和种族暴♥乱♥
Yeah, it also has earthquakes and, uh, race riots,
所以大家都给我冷静下来
So, you know, everybody just calm down.
我就知道
And there it is.
崔维斯快来我受伤了
Travis, help! I'm hurt!
这次不会相信你了
Yeah, yeah. I'm not falling for that again.
这次是真的
I'm serious this time.
我扭到了脚踝骨头可能断了
I've twisted my ankle. It might be broken.
不是吧什么
Oh, no. What?
笨蛋
Sucker!
干得漂亮大人们
Great job, adults.
我只是想和你谈谈
I just wanted to talk to you.
你如何在两个学校中进行选择
How are you gonna decide between these two colleges?
我是说一个
I mean, one is known
被称作"佛罗里达西南的珍珠"
as "The jewel of central southwest Florida"
另外一个是在地处路人会从车窗
and the other one's in a state where people lean out
冲你的脸开枪的加州
of their car windows and shoot you in the face.
真狡诈你以为这招会管用
Subtle. You really think you can pull this off?
也许会我可是这第三聪明的人
Maybe. I'm, like, the third smartest person here.
-我是第几 -第六
- What number am I? - Sixth.
这是我的选择
This is my decision,
我得自己做决定好吗
so I'm just gonna make it myself, okay?
别搞得太奇怪
Let's not get weird.
要是可以
If I could,
我会把自己变得小小的
I'd have them shrink me down so small...
小到可以在你的血液里生活
that I could live in your blood.
好了行了
Okay, good.
她会让他自己做决定的吧
She's gonna let him make his own decision, right?
现在你排到第八了
Now you're eighth.
什么谁是第七
What? Who's seventh?
它
Hola.
你都没给我们机会
You didn't give it a chance!
你们真的没给胆小鬼
You really did not. Cowards.
要去和我爸爸打高尔夫球了
All right. Gotta meet my dad for golf.
怎么没履行三秒钟原则
Hey. What about our 3-second rule?
好吧一二三拜拜
Oh, yeah. One, two, three. See ya.
再见
Bye.
史密斯怎么变得这么不性感了
How did Smith become so unsexy?
他没有你就是喜欢戏剧化感谢上帝
No, he didn't. You just love drama, and for once, thank god,
你终于有了一个不爱来这套的人
You've got someone who doesn't need it.
但是戏剧化很撩人的
But drama is such a turn-on.
会让我的女性特征发出讯号♥
That makes my lady parts beep.
你是想成为一个人情绪稳定的人
Would you rather be with someone emotionally stable
还是想当一个在"游戏夜"
or someone who, at game night,
就因为觉得他叠叠乐玩的不好[积木游戏]
carves "Die, bitch" on the kitchen table
就在厨房♥桌子上刻下"去死贱♥人♥"的人
because you think he sucks at jenga?
两者都是有利有弊
There are positives and negatives to both.
真的不是
There really aren't.
我知道亲爱的很抱歉弄坏你的桌子
I know. And, honey, I am sorry about your table.
没关系
That's okay.
我加了个"T" 就变成"节食贱♥人♥"了
I added a "T," so now it says, "Diet, bitch."
事实上还挺有帮助
It's actually-- it's really helpful.
我不知道能不能戒掉这种戏剧瘾
I don't know if I can kick my drama addiction,
不过我会试一试
but I'm gonna try.
很好
That's great.
你说史密斯会不会知道些奇怪的事
Oh. Do you think Smith knows something's hinky?
说起劳里真是...
Things with Laurie are really...
用什么词好呢奇怪
What's the word? Hinky.
闭嘴吧姑娘们看看我的表现
Pipe down, girls. Watch this drive.
鲍比一周给我辅♥导♥五天
Bobby's been teaching me five days a week.
你被开除了
You're fired.
再来一次崔维斯去捡球
Mulligan time. Travis, go get it.
我通过把肉丸涂成白色
I trained him to retrieve golf balls
训练它捡高尔夫球
by painting meatballs white.
要理解劳里很容易的她喜欢戏剧化
Laurie's not tough to figure out. She digs on the drama.
这是我见过最棒的事情
That's the greatest thing I've ever seen.
好好想一想你和劳里
Seriously, think about the hottest night
最激♥情♥的夜晚是怎么开始的
you and Laurie ever had. How'd it start?
快把那该死的钱放到袋子里
Put the damn money in the bag!
-他有枪 -是啊他有枪
- He's got a gun. - Yeah, he does.
那是很奇怪的第三次约会
That was a weird third date.
小崔捡球
Trav, go get it.
可能是肉球啊老兄
Could be a meatball, brother.
老天真是不喜欢对它说谎
God, I hate lying to him.
你好凯莉
Oh. Hi, Kylie.
我知道如果小崔去加州上大学我们会分手
I know. If Trav goes to California we'll break up,
但是如果他留在这我们会结婚
But if he stays here, we'll get married
生几个漂亮的孩子他告诉我你会这么说
and have beautiful babies. He told me you'd say that.
拜托你们两个没问题的
Please. You kids are gonna make it.
-他们肯定完蛋了 -你应该知道
- They are so done-zo. - You do realize
崔维斯去哪儿上大学根本无所谓
That it doesn't matter where Travis goes to college?
我明白但我觉得有所谓
I know. Except it totally does.
好吧我觉得你就是没事找事
Okay, I feel like you're setting yourself up to get hurt.
就算他的学校就20分钟的车程
Even if he goes just 20 minutes away,
他也是会离开的
he's still leaving.
拜托如果真有那么近
Come on. If he's that close,
我就不会那么难受了
It's not gonna sting.
能给我点儿番茄酱不
Can I get some ketchup?
-你都没有给个机会 -随便了
- You never gave it a chance! - Sail away?
臭球
Ah, rat farts.
-老爸要走了没 -还没
- Hey, did you go yet, dad? - No!
别这样看着我啊去捡肉丸子去
Don't look at me that way. Just go get the damn meatball.
那是钱包链那家伙
Hey, it's wallet chain.
和劳里一起瞎混的朋友
He's the guy that Laurie rolled around with.
你觉得"瞎混"是指只是亲热亲热
You think "Rolled around" means they just made out
还是做了全套的意思
or they went all the way?
我不知道要不我们再讨论讨论
I don't know. Let's talk about it more.
我觉得他们不过是亲亲抱抱而已
Nah, I think they just kissed with a little upstairs work.
兄弟劳里想要你怎么做
Buddy, what would Laurie want you to do?
天哪你没事吧
Oh, my god. Are you okay?
没事抱歉流血了
Yeah. Sorry about the blood.
没关系
I'm not. Beep, beep, beep, beep.
你在看我睡觉
Are you watching me sleep?
你可不常醒啊
You don't usually wake up.
你以前也这么干过
You've done this before?
有莉亚吉尔亚历克萨斯
Leah, Joel, Alexis.
才7个快
But that's only seven. Come on.
戈瑟琳有八个孩子呢
We've gotta be able to figure out all eight gosselin kids.
还有琼
Jon.
不他是那个变♥态♥成名妄想症的老爸
No. He's the creepy, disgusting,
噢对你说的没错
- Wants-to-be-famous father. - Oh, right. You're right. Oh.
还有柯林
Collin!
对柯林
Yes, Collin.
好了我就不耍花招了
Okay, no more games.
我离婚时是你
When I got divorced, you were the one that--