熟女镇（2009）
Cougar Town
第一季
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熟女镇（2009）
Cougar Town S01E11
Part 2
Dec. 8, 2020, 11:17 p.m.
我有个在银行的无聊会议
I have a stupid meeting at the bank.
所有银行的会议都有点无聊吧
Well, aren't, uh, all meetings at banks a little stupid?
这有什么好笑的
Why is that funny?
-你还好吗 -太久没带领带了
- You okay? - It's been a while since I wore I tie.
老觉得有人掐着我的脖子
I keep thinking someone's trying to strangle me.
我想打点儿肉毒杆菌
So I was thinking about getting some botox,
但又想看起来自然点
But, uh, I want to keep a natural look.
-你要怎么做 -我什么都不会做
- what--what would you do? - oh, I wouldn't do anything.
很显然 我不会在我脸上做什么
But obviously, I don't get work done on my face.
我不是在评价你 只是 我觉得
I'm not judging. It's just--I guess
作为女人 我已经觉得很安心了
I just feel secure enough as a woman that I don't need
不需要往脸上注射毒素 但这只是我啦
To inject poison into my head. But that's just me.
你没评价我的脸还真是厚道
Well, it's nice not to judge.
好吧 我看这边
Okay. I'll look over here.
你有好多学位呀
You have a lot of degrees.
我是个医生 这就是它们的作用
I'm a doctor. That's how it works.
你在哪儿上学的
Where'd you go to school?
一开始是在佛罗里达大学念书
Well, I started at U.F.,
然后休学一阵子生孩子去了
And then I took a little break to have a baby.
什么时候拿到学位的
When did you get your degree?
现在还在休学中
I'm currently still on break.
但是我自己创业了 房♥地♥产♥行业
But I started my own business. I'm in real estate.
有天早上我在网上拿到了房♥地♥产♥执照
Oh, I got my real estate license online one morning
是为了省掉我第二栋房♥子的咨♥询♥费
when I was trying to avoid fees for my second home.
是啊 我懂 我懂
Yeah. But I get it. I get it.
当你没有其他选择 就只能做房♥地♥产♥了
Real estate's what you do when you have no other options, you know?
我想这就像当个脱衣舞娘一样
I guess it's like being a stripper,
除了你能在公车椅子上看到自己的脸
except you get to see your face on a bus bench.
当然不是这张脸 是那种喷枪笔画的
Well, not this face, of course, but the airbrushed version.
你一口气说出这么多刻薄的话
When you string that many mean thoughts together,
我都无法喘息了
I lose my breath just a little bit.
这东西会有轻微灼烧感
Well, this is going to burn like a mother.
很高兴 见到你
It was, uh, it was nice meeting you.
-我叫史密斯 -我叫劳里 劳里
- My name's Smith. - Laurie. Laurie.
我觉得他挺可爱的
I mean, I thought he was cute,
这种姓的人的"小♥弟♥弟♥"肯定不怎么样
but what kind of a tool goes by his last name?
是啊
right?
史密斯是他的名字
Smith is his first name.
名字是姓的人 我爱死这种人了
That's a first name-last name situation. I love those.
史密斯家在玫瑰街有栋大房♥子
Smith's family owns that giant house over on Rose street,
你知道的 那家看起来像酒店的
you know, the one that looks like a hotel?
等等 那家酒店
Wait. That hotel?
-其实那是栋房♥子 -酒店旁边的那栋
- It's actually a house. - The one that's next to the hotel?
看来你们都不知道这事 这家伙很有钱
We are not getting anywhere here. Look, dude is loaded.
了解了 我的朋友
Message received, my friend.
-史密斯 -哈
- Smith! - Ha.
嘿 小伙子
Hey, little man.
听说艾莉她们对你调♥教♥了一番
I heard Ellie and the gang dropped some knowledge on ya.
很显然女人并不可信
Apparently all women are liars.
这是不是意味着我女朋友
Does this mean my girlfriend
其实对我的故事没什么兴趣
doesn't really love my short stories?
当然不是 小崔 没人会这么想
Of course not, Trav. Nobody does.
你真的想了解女人吗
Do you really wanna understand women?
我感觉像是要进入一个禁区
I feel like this is heading to a bad place.
我来告诉你女人是什么样的
I'm gonna teach you about women.
又来了
There it is.
就拿我来说
Look at me.
我平凡无奇 但我老婆很性感
I'm a schlubby guy yet I got a hot wife.
这就是我的本事
I made that happen.
看到那边的家伙没 他比我英俊
See the guy over there? He's better-looking than me,
但他老婆却远不比上我老婆
But his wife is not as hot as mine.
如果他看到我 一定会自愧不如
If we were to make eye contact, he'd know who won.
你们好啊
Hey, guys.
亲爱的
Hey, babe.
就是这样 贱♥人♥
Ah, that's right, bitch.
这是我最后一次帮你拿邮件
This is the last time I bring your mail over.
账单 账单
Bill, bill.
你看上去有点
Hey, you look a little, uh...
年轻了 还是漂亮了
Younger? Prettier?
-气色不错 -应该是好多了
- All right. - Well, I better.
早上那个邪恶的医生让我感觉糟透了
I had the worst morning with this evil doctor.
她根本是全宇宙贱♥人♥女皇
She was, like, queen bitch of the universe.
哦 不是吧
Oh, come on!
我喜欢"贱♥人♥女皇"这词
I like "queen bitch."
听起来像是同性恋的首领
Makes me sound like leader of the gays.
这有点 让我惊讶
Well, this is a surprise, of some sort.
我和罗伯特在高尔夫球场相识
Oh, I met robert at the golf course.
我球杆掉了 他帮我找了回来
I lost my putter, and he found it.
她突然生气了
She got pissed off
就把球杆扔进了第三洞一个脏池子里
and threw it in that nasty pond on the third hole.
我游进去捡了回来
I dove in and got it.
然后艾米帮我处理了被鹅咬到的伤口
In return, Amy treated my bite from an angry goose.
你知道的 鹅的口水里都是细菌
You see, um, goose saliva is full of bacteria.
我知道 埃文斯医生
Yes, I know that, Dr. Evans.
我可能没有你那么多专业头衔
I may not have your fancy degrees,
但很多常识还是清楚的
But I know about a lot of things.
没想到鹅的口水还真是不好处理
I didn't realize that goose spit was such a touchy area.
-现在你知道了 -冷静点 小猪儿
- now you know.- calm down, j-bird.
毕竟你是突然闯入这里的
After all, you're the one that busted in on us.
-如果这船在"摇晃" -别说了
- You know, if the boat's a-rockin' - Please don't finish.
-我很想说完 -真有你的
- But it's fun to finish. - You'll live.
你们真是有好多话说啊
You know, you certainly have a lot to say.
-你们什么关系 -我是他前妻
- What is your relationship? - I'm his ex-wife.
抱歉 我刚刚没听清楚
I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.
我好像忘了修整你那深皱纹
I-I think I missed a few deep frown lines.
-那我星期一再来 -我星期一休息
- Well, I'll come by on monday. - I'm closed monday.
可别又破门而入
Don't come a-knockin'.
对不起
Sorry.
打算今晚出门吗
So you up for going out tonight?
史密斯 我保证 如果我有白人小孩
Sure, Smith. Ooh. I swear, if I ever have a white baby,
我一定会给他取名史密斯
I am totally naming him Smith.
好吧 谢了
Thanks... I guess.
我在想 我们可以参加我们家主办的
So I was thinking we could go to this political fund-raiser
政♥治♥筹款晚会
That my family's throwing.
好啊 我很喜欢
Yay! I love those.
我不能去个乡间俱乐部参加政♥治♥聚会
I can't go to some political thing at a country club.
我不知道该怎么做
I don't know how to act.
就像是"麻雀变凤♥凰♥"里的样子
Aw, it's just like "Pretty Woman."
事实上更像"现代版灰姑娘"
Actually, it's more like "mystic pizza,"
无论哪种
But either way,
我都要像朱莉娅·罗伯茨那样
I get to be Julia Roberts,
所以看我的吧
So bite me.
那就让我看看朱莉娅的露齿大笑吧
Well, then let's see that little Julia toothy smile.
让我来教你认识女人吧
I'm gonna teach you about womanhood,
但我要你用这里思考
But I want you to think from here,
不是这里 也绝对不是
Not here and never ever...
这里
Here.
别再演示了
Please stop doing that.
现在艾莉的皮肤医生让她觉得自己老了
Now, Ellie's skin doctor made her feel old,
当女人深陷脆弱之境
And when a woman's in a vulnerable place,
她们就像
They're like a...
走投无路的獾时刻准备搏击
A cornered badger ready to lash out.
看好
Observe.
安迪 这是吃饭的地方
Andy, this is where we eat.
你几乎是我遇到过最蠢的人
You may be the dumbest person I've ever met up close.
对不起 亲爱的
Sorry, babe.
她刚刚对你大喊大叫
She just crushed you.
是的 但她反应过激了
Yeah. But she overreacted.
然后她会觉得内疚 那对我有好处
Later she'll feel guilty, and that's gonna work for me.
这是什么 她最爱的项链
Oh, and what is this? Her favorite necklace.
熟女镇（2009）
Cougar Town
剧集 | 熟女镇（2009） | 导航列表