熟女镇（2009）
Cougar Town
第一季
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熟女镇（2009）
Cougar Town S01E15
Part 1
Dec. 8, 2020, 11:18 p.m.
天 这个袋子被油浸湿了
Oh my god that bag is soaked with grease.
我跟你说 不管这袋子里装的是什么
I'll tell you right now I don't care what's in it.
-我都要把它吃了 -是油炸死人头
- I'm eatin' it. - It's a human head.
如果是炸透了的 我就要吃
Well if it's deep-fried I'm still in.
崔维斯 这是我最喜欢的炸鸡
oh Travis this is my favorite fried chicken!
等等 无事献殷勤
Wait. Why?
你嗑药了 还是搞大了谁的肚子
Are you on drugs? Is someone pregnant? Huh?
天呐 崔维斯 不管你干了什么
Oh god. You know what Travis? No matter what it is honey
我们都可以解决
we are gonna get through it.
每开张一家新的极品炸鸡
Whenever they open a new Chicken Dandies
排在前50名的人可以免费吃一个月
the first 50 people in line get free food for a month.
我在一猛♥男♥后面排了二十多个小时
So after waiting behind a large gentleman for 20-plus hours
那个猛♥男♥拿一个油漆桶又当凳子又当马桶
who was using a paint bucket as a both a chair and a commode
你面前这位帅哥可是季军进店顾客
you're looking at customer number three.
你不翘课不可能去排这么长时间
How did you wait in line so long without missing school?
炸华夫饼要不
Waffle fry?
你真的给崔维斯学校打了电♥话♥请病假
Did you really call Travis in sick from school
带他去排免费炸鸡的队
so you two could wait in line for free chicken?
糟糕 忘给他学校打电♥话♥了 是不
Shoot. I forgot to call his school didn't I?
搞清楚我生气的原因 对你永远是高难度
Wow you're still not great at zoning in on why I'm angry.
容我自辩一下
Look in my defense
我刚吃了一加仑(约3.8升)凉拌菜
I just ate a gallon jug of free coleslaw
我现在是满脑子蛋黄酱
my brain's a little mayonnaise-y.
鲍比 跟崔维斯有关的事你得先跟我商量
Bobby when it comes to Travis you have to talk to me first.
我们是离婚了
I know we're divorced
但是孩子还是得两个人共同教育
but we still have to do all of our parenting together okay?
-我们是一个团队 -好的
- We're a team. - Fine
不过团队吉祥物得由我来挑
but I get to pick the team mascot.
凉拌卷心菜
Coleslaw!
等等 我再想想
Wait let me try that again.
-你还回味着那凉拌菜吧 -挥之不去
- You're still stuck on coleslaw. - Won't get out of my head.
茱尔斯在哪
Where's Jules?
安迪和我要去吃浪漫情侣午餐
Andy and I are going on a romantic couples lunch
我想让她也一起来
and I want her to come with us.
她在对街修脚甲呢
She's across the street getting a pedicure.
我喜欢这个
Ooh I love that she's doing that.
没什么奇怪的 我只是对脚有"性"趣
It's nothing weird. I just like feet.
-还有亚洲美眉 -有意思
- And Asians. - Charming.
在这等着 我得去内衣店
Wait here. I'm gonna go to that lingerie store
选一样要你送给我的情人节礼物
and pick out what you're buying me for Valentine's Day.
买♥♥性感小裤裤吧 我喜欢小裤裤
Get sexy panties. I love panties!
小裤裤和脚
Panties and feet.
你知道小裤裤是什么不
Oh do you know what panties are?
这种衣服是大部分女人穿在
They're a type of clothes that most women wear
裙子里面的
under their skirts.
没兴趣
Pass.
情人节你做什么
So... What are you doing for Valentine's Day?
你知道我最近约会的那个史密斯吧
You know that guy Smith I'm dating?
不知道
Nope.
无所谓
Doesn't matter.
他要从法学院回来
He's driving home from law school.
他要带我去见他爹 是不是很浪漫啊
He wants me to meet his dad. Isn't that romantic?
这取决于你们三个干什么
That depends on what you three are doin'.
脚 小裤裤 亚洲美眉 还有3P
Feet panties Asians and threesomes.
让我一次爽个够
Lettin' it all out today.
我表弟经营一家网站 你肯定会很喜欢
My cousin runs a web site that you'd really be into.
上面有一张照片
There's actually a picture on there
是蜂蜜从我的光脚上滴下来
of my bare feet dripping in honey.
你就是那个蜂蜜脚趾
You're honey toes?
-是的 -天啊 你真得是
- Yeah. - Oh my god! You are.
见爹这事真是让我很紧张啊
This whole dad thing just has me so nervous.
安迪
Andy!
抱歉 没事的
Sorry. You'll be fine.
就像我第一次见艾莉的家长时那样呗
Just do what I did when I first met Ellie's folks--
做自己 不过别太拉丁风情了
Be yourself only less latino.
窗台上有个旧的小鸟巢
Oh look. There's a little old bird's nest on the windowsill.
你有没有跟安迪讨论一下
Oh hey did you ever have that conversation with Andy
修理他腰身以下毛发的事
about doing some downstairs man grooming?
不用讨论 我告诉他预约了眉部脱毛
Didn't have to. I signed him up for an eyebrow wax
实际上是比基尼部位脱毛
which is really a bikini wax.
周围全是尖叫的韩国人
Andy will be so turned on
安迪肯定会很兴奋
by all the screaming Koreans.
他肯定不会注意身上的变化
He won't know what hit him
直到他跟罐装火腿一般光滑 在床上乱滚
until he's sliding around our bed Like a canned ham.
我不是很赞同男的脱毛
I'm not really big on the manscaping.
你不脱毛啊
You don't husk the corn?
不 如果空气太潮湿了
Nah. If it's humid I might throw in
我就在下面抹点免洗护发素
a little leave-in conditioner down there.
谢谢你的咖啡
Anyway thanks for the coffee
还有非常诡异的私人话题
and the really weird personal conversation.
-再见 -再见
- Bye. - Bye
你让太多人加入我们的咖啡小圈子了
You have let too many people into our coffee circle.
你干嘛不去邀请
Why don't you just invite
隔壁那些在家受教育的怪异小孩
those creepy homeschooled kids from next door?
说不定他们可以一边辩论数学课题
They can row us with math skills while
一边在我们身上扎上几个窟窿
they stab us to death.
那你想要邀请谁参加我们的咖啡小圈子
Fine. Who do you want to be in our coffee circle?
就你和我
Just you and me.
这简直就是我们购物小圈子争吵的翻版
This is our shopping circle argument all over again.
老妈 既然我们的母子关系
So mom since we have a relationship
-连内行都认为不健康 -确实
- professionals have deemed "Unhealthy"... - They have.
有意思
That's cute.
大卫·史恩伯格这周末要办一个聚会
David Schoenburger's having a party this weekend.
-人员 -他父母不会在场
- Are - No his parents won't be there.
-性质 -会有啤酒 可我不会喝的
- Will - Yes there will be beer but I won't be drinking.
你怎么能不同意
How are you gonna say no?!
太荒谬了
This is ridiculous!
刚才发生什么了
What just happened?
这就叫为人父母 艾莉 学着点吧
It's called parenting Ellie. Try and keep up.
茱尔斯
Jules.
请允许我介绍
May I present...
这是史密斯·弗兰克
Smith Frank.
天呐 你比劳里说的还要漂亮
Wow. You're uh you're even prettier than Laurie said.
开场白不错 史密斯
Strong start Smith.
别看他穿的像个会计师
Even though he dresses like an accountant
你看这里 可爱小袜子
check this out-- Whbam! Crazy socks!
这表明我也可以做个潮人
We feel these say I can still get funky.
这是外表清高内里风♥骚♥ 我喜欢
Well it's business upstairs and party downstairs. I like it.
你看起来很完美 对吧
Wow you seem perfect. Right?
有点太完美了
I mean almost too perfect.
你的肮脏小秘密是什么 史密斯
What's your dirty secret Smith?
我是不会接受女人的盘问的
I will not be questioned by a woman.
天哪 我以为 我以为这会很有趣
Oh my god. That was-- that was... Funnier in my head.
我很抱歉 刚才是
Um I'm--I'm sorry. That was--
我感觉有点恶心
Yeah I'm feeling a little nauseous
我想我得 坐下来
so I think I'm gonna um... sit.
-我喜欢他 -我也是
- I like him. - Me too!
你去告诉亨德森 我认为
Tell Henderson that I think that
在这种低靡经济下 零首♥付♥企业融♥资♥
a zero-down commercial re-fi in a cratering economy
将是一剂猛药
is a slam dunk idea!
这可真是高技术含量的鬼扯啊
That is some grade "A" smart guy gibberish.
看看这办公室
And look at this office.
要是哪天我把船卖♥♥了 我要住在这里
If I ever had sold my boat I could live here.
-不行 -我只是随便说说 老弟
- No. - Okay I was just thinking out loud brother.
你就像是个老大
Man you are like the big dog
在这里呼风唤雨
with low-hanging fruit around here aren't you?
看着
Watch this.
-保罗 -有什么吩咐
- Paul! - Yes sir?
看见没 这就是职场安迪
See? That's work Andy.
挺性感的嘛 你就是靠这个追到艾莉的
He's sexy. Is that how you bagged Ellie?
熟女镇（2009）
Cougar Town
剧集 | 熟女镇（2009） | 导航列表