熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S01E16

Part 3 Dec. 8, 2020, 11:18 p.m.

鲍比那个强盗
You know, Bobby, the, uh, mugger--
她拿了你的钱包所以肯定知道你住在哪
She's got your wallet so she knows where ya live.
别担心我有保护措施
Don't you worry. I got protection.
我买♥♥了狗叫的CD用来吓退入侵者
To scare off intruders, I bought a barking dog CD.
擦边球
Ooh, rim shot.
-这是新的擦边球规则 -我喜欢
- New rim shot rule. - I like it.
走吧
Let's go.
你好希拉
Hi, Sheila.
很高兴你好
It's nice to, um... Hello.
我今天在犒劳自己新衣服新妆容
I'm having a "Me" Day-- new clothes, new makeup.
看看眼型线
Lookie, permanent eyeliner.
-你可以摸摸看 -不用我相信你
- You can touch it. - No, no. I trust you.
-不会掉的 -求你了我摸够了
- No, no, it's not goin' anywhere. - Okay, p-please let me stop.
你就是劳里的妈妈我是艾莉
So you're Laurie's mom. I'm Ellie.
-你也是劳里的朋友吗 -我叫艾莉
- Are you a friend of Laurie's, too? - I'm Ellie.
头发挺漂亮再见
You have nice hair. See ya.
她人还不错嘛
Well, she's not that bad.
什么啊她乱花劳里的钱
Oh, come on. She is out spending Laurie's money.
我觉得劳里也希望我帮她吐吐苦水
I think Laurie would want me to say something.
反正我就要说别把眉毛抬那么高
Well, I'm gonna do it. Put the brows down.
进来
Entre.
帮你买♥♥了止痛药
Got your painkillers.
我现在很难过
My will is fading.
我确信没那么糟糕让我瞧瞧
I'm sure it's not bad. Let me see.
不
No!
第一次应该发生在卧室里才对
Innocence should be lost in the bedroom...
或者在商业邮轮上
Or on a commercial cruise liner.
我受得住我保证
I can handle it. Promise.
不要吓着了
Be kind.
谁在外面
Hello? Someone out there?
我可是有一条恶狗
Okay, I got a vicious dog. Don't I, boy?
靠
Damn.
-把你的钱交出来 -我靠
- Give me all your money! - What the heck?
我不喜欢别人吓唬我感觉很傻
I don't like when people scare me! It makes me feel dumb.
很丢脸的那种傻
Dumb like embarrassed?
我还以为你不会觉得丢脸呢
I think you couldn't be embarrassed.
为什么会有狗狗唱圣诞颂歌♥
Why are there dogs singing christmas carols?
这炉子挺赞的
That's a fancy oven.
你是怎么说服别人买♥♥给你的
How'd you get someone to buy it for you?
你床上功夫肯定很好
You must have a sugar coochie.
我床上功夫是挺好的
I might have a sugar coochie,
不过那炉子是我自己买♥♥的
but I paid for that oven.
你让我来这干吗
Why'd you ask me over here?
劳里在目前的人生阶段
Look, Laurie is in a place in her life right now
能够自食其力
where she can stand on her own two feet.
作为母亲
I know as a mom you--
我想你肯定不愿成为她人生的羁绊
you don't want to get in the way of that.
你没有权利批判我是我抚养她长大的
You have no right to judge me. I raised her.
她烫发我付钱
I paid for perms,
给她买♥♥香烟糖香烟
candy cigarettes, real cigarettes.
这是她欠我的现在我要讨回来
She owes me. Now I'm gettin' mine.
我一般不说刻薄话我只想想
You know, I don't normally say mean things. I think them.
写在纸片上
I write them on scrap pieces of paper
放在我钱包里
and put them in my purse.
然后晚上对着镜子读
I read them at night to the mirror
假装我是真的说了这话
And pretend I actually am saying them.
不过对于你我得格外对待
But with you, I'm making an exception.
这屋子里只有一个好妈妈
Now there is only one good mom standing in this room,
很不幸她的中间名叫琪琪
and her middle name is, unfortunately, Kiki.
这事说来话长挺悲一故事
It's a long, sad story.
重点是你是个很糟糕的妈妈
Uh, the--the point is, you're a horrible mom.
茱尔斯
Jules!
你向我保证过的
You promised.
好吧但是
Yeah, but...
该死
Oh, crap.
不是我的错劳里
It's not my fault Laurie,
我很友善可是她闯入了我的厨房♥
I was being nice, but she stepped in my kitchen
-说得真好听琪琪 -你还真敢哪
- Nice try, Kiki. - Don't you dare.
我爱劳里
I love Laurie,
即使她的出生导致了
Even if her being born was
-她爹的离去 -这是谁说的
- the reason her daddy left. - Who says that?
是真的不过他也得到了报应
It's true. Daddy got his, though.
再也没有连任州财长
Never got reelected state treasurer again.
看谁笑到最后了正房♥老婆孩子
Who's laughin' now, real wife and kids?
见了没劳里了解我
See, Laurie's already got me,
别再扮演她妈了
So stop trying to be her mom.
我们已经讨论过这个问题了
We've already been over this.
我比较像是比她略大的姐姐
I'm more like her slightly older sister.
-什么玩意啊家族手势 -我走了
- Oh, what the hell? Is this a family gesture? - I'm outta here.
劳里你来不来
Laurie, are you coming?
抱歉茱尔斯
I'm sorry, Jules.
我得先把我侄女接回家
Uh, so I gotta get my niece home
我还没跟她爸妈说过这事
Because I never cleared it with her parents.
-你还好吧小公主 -撞墙去吧
- You all right, princess? - Hey, hit the bricks.
我知道她为什么找我茬你们又是为毛
I get why she's picking on me. But you?
我的哥们我的左膀右臂
My guys? My murdoch and face?
除非你先把酒钱付了不然我才不管你
Until you pay your tab, I have no loyalty to you.
你又是怎么回事右臂
What about you, face?
他凭什么是右臂啊他
How's he face? He isn't...
艾莉觉得让我认清你不是神人的真面目
Ellie thought it would be good for me
对我来说是件好事
to see you knocked off your pedestal.
安迪我原谅你哥们
Andy. I forgive you, brother.
他凭什么是右臂啊
How's he face?
睁眼吧
You can open your eyes.
-我不敢 -别这么幼稚
- I don't think I can. - Stop being such a baby.
化学换肤跟浓酸导致的
A chemical peel is nothing more than
二级烧伤差不了太多
a second-degree burn induced by concentrated acid.
你看上去像颗葡萄
You look like a grape.
-疼吗 -疼得要死要活
- Does it hurt? - Like a thousand sons of bitches.
妈呀
Barb...
真抱歉
I'm so sorry.
谢谢乖乖
Thanks, kiddo.
我知道昨天那事之后
I know you probably don't want to ever see me again
你可能不想再见到我了但是我想过来
After yesterday, but I-I wanted to come in, so...
你说什么呢
What are you talking about?
我买♥♥了点甜甜圈
Hey, I got us some doughnuts.
怎么了
What's wrong?
真不敢相信你竟然不恨我
I can't believe you don't hate me.
恨你
Hate you?
天呐这太伤感了
Oh, my god, that is so sad.
现在你也要把我弄哭了
Well, now you're gonna make me cry, too.
胡扯我就是很想制♥造♥这种煽情效果
Oh, crap. I think I just want it too much.
听着那毕竟是你妈妈
Look, that's your mom.
-是啊 -我支持你的我爱你
- Yeah. - I'm on your side. I love you.
你太支持我了对我真好
You are so supportive and amazing.
而且等等
And... Wait.
这整个都是你策划的是不是
That was your whole strategy, wasn't it?
对我超级好然后我就会
To be so super nice that I-I would just
按你计划行事
handle this the way that you wanted me to,
以此取悦你
to make you happy.
我真是太有才了不是吗
It's pretty genius, isn't it?
我会让你跳舞
I made you dance.
我不明白
I don't get it.
你不会让任何人欺负你
You don't let anyone walk over you.
茱尔斯
Jules
我妈很可怕我一生中她都在说服我
My mom is scarey,my whole life she convinced me
我什么都做不好
that I wasn't good enough to do...
任何事情
Well, anything.
另外她打架很猛我是说她知道
Plus, she fights dirty. I mean, she knows
能把一个人打
the exact place to punch a person