熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S01E18

Part 2 Dec. 8, 2020, 11:19 p.m.

你们相不相信我花的酒钱
Can you believe that I spend as much money on wine
跟饭钱一样多我也觉得很惊讶
as I do food? I was surprised, too.
我得少在葡萄酒上花点钱了
I'm gonna have to cut back on the vino,
改变一下
Yeah, change things up a bit.
茱尔斯我们这个年纪的人已经定型了
Jules, at our age, we are who we are.
不可能再改变了
There's no more changing.
如果真是这样
Well,if that's true,
我还怎么去巴黎开我的古董店呢
then how am I gonna have my antiques store in paris?
很简单你不会去的
Well, that's easy. You're not.
就你这句话别想我给你打折
Well, you just lost your discount.
我还很年轻完全有机会脱胎换骨
I'm still young enough to totally change who I am.
这是个美好的愿望
We can only hope.
拜托我还可以改变的
Hey, come on. I can still change.
所以我已经决定禁酒一个月
That is why I've decided to stop drinking wine for one month.
-拜 -为什么要这么做
- Bye. - Why would you do that?
你一晚上也就喝两杯酒
You only have, like, two glasses of wine a night.
我回来扔东西这次真拜拜了
I just came back for that. Bye again.
他吃香蕉还真快
He eats bananas fast.
不管我已经决定禁酒一个月
Well, still, I've decided to stop drinking wine for one month,
就从现在开始
and it's gonna start right now.
那我们可得有一段时间不能见面了
Then it's good-Bye for a while.
可是我喜欢喝酒茱尔斯
But I love wine, Jules.
酒是我们美好记忆中的一部分
Wine is part of some of our best memories.
为周一干杯
To Monday!
为周一干杯
To Monday!
真是个美好的周一
Oh, that was a good Monday.
不过我们也有很多次
But still, there are plenty of times
没喝酒也很开心啊
that we have fun without drinking.
等等我是蓝色火车吗
Wait. Am I the blue train?
谁管呢只管掷骰子吧
Oh, who cares? Just roll.
我拿酒来了
I got wine!
是啊我们喝酒了
Oh, right. We got wine.
原来你离婚了
So you're divorced.
你的婚姻为什么失败了
How'd your marriage fall apart?
这问题至少也得等到我把餐巾铺好
Wow. That is kind of an after-I-Put-My-Napkin-In-My-Lap
再问吧
Kind of question.
好吧那你就用一些哄小女孩的套路
Fine. Why don't you ease us in with some of that banter
先缓解一下尴尬的气氛吧
you use on the young gals?
通常我们先讨论中间名字
Well, usually we'll start with middle names,
然后是自己最喜欢的数字
and then we go to favorite numbers,
然后如果发展的不错
and then if things are going really well,
我们会讨论喜欢小猫还是小狗
then we'll go to kittens versus puppies.
我比较喜欢小狗因为它舔你的时候会很痒
I like puppies more 'cause it tickles when they lick you.
我们先这样
Let's just do this.
好了你和父母关系好吗
Now... are you close with your folks?
这个话题是我的"禁区"
Not a great area.
好吧你有想过再婚吗
Okay. Do you see yourself getting married again?
仍然是"禁区"
Also a trouble zone.
有一次我在尼泊尔旅行
One time I was trekking through Nepal,
不得不问一个和尚到哪去买♥♥卫生棉条
and I had to act out "Where can I get a tampon?" to a monk.
而我们现在的对话比那个还难以启齿
This conversation harder than that.
不是吧你最喜欢什么
Oh, come on. Let... what's your favorite, um...
-你最喜欢什么数字 -3
- What's your favorite number? - Three.
3 3很不错
Three. Three's pretty cool.
额滴神
Oh... my god.
我最喜欢5
Mine's five.
怎么回事
What the hell?
你迟到了20分钟
You're - You're 20 minutes late.
-那是我的船长帽吗 -他喜欢戴
- Is that my co-captain's hat? - He likes to wear it.
我迟到了崔维斯得散会步
Hey, so I'm late. Travis needed a walk.
过来
Come on.
他爱吃煎饼可胃又受不了
His brain loves pancakes, but his tummy does not.
你所有时间都跟他待在一块了
You've been spending all your time with him.
小心哥们
Watch out, buddy.
电梯小崔乖孩子
Elevator, Trav. Good boy.
这小楼梯是你特意为他做的吗
Did you make this for him?
是啊这船对崔维斯来说是个障碍
Yeah. You know, the boat's tough on Travis.
我的床太小了他没法横躺在我腿上
You know, my bed's too small for him to lie across my feet.
所以我们面对面睡
So, you know, we sleep face-to-face.
我打赌他的鼻子肯定又冷又脏
I bet his nose is cold and gross.
开始是这样
Yeah, it is at first,
可后来我的鼻子温暖了他的鼻子
but you know, my nose warms his up.
你打算就这么坐在那喝酒来折磨我吗
Well, are you just gonna sit there and torture me by drinking wine?
这里是酒吧哎
We're in a bar.
让我闻闻
Just let me smell it.
-是什么 -梅毒
- What is that? - Syphilis.
-疱疹 -疱疹
- Herpes. - Herpes.
-喝一点呗 -行了打住
- Mmm. Have a sip. - Okay, stop it.
我下定决心了格雷森你是相信我的吧
I'm gonna do this. Grayson, you believe in me, don't you?
你们这个年纪的女人
What is it with women your age
干吗都非得知道我的想法呢
needing to know how I feel?
不是吧难道某人昨晚的成人约会扫兴了
Oh, no. Did someone not have fun on his big boy date?
你的婚姻怎么了你父母人好吗
"What happened in your marriage? Are your parents nice?
你的希望和梦想是什么谁关心这个啊
What are your hopes and dreams?" I mean, who cares?
我们怎么就不能说些现实的话题
Why can't we just talk how real people talk?
这就是现实的话题
That is how real people talk.
说得好过来亲爱的
Zinger! Come here, you.
呯
Bing!
不别"呯"
No. No "Bing."
"呯"吧
Oh, yes, "Bing."
-汤姆 -听着我比较喜欢啃嫩草
- Oh, Tom. - Look, I just prefer younger women.
她们简单她们的发香是水果味的
They're simpler. Their hair smells like fruit.
她们更有趣
They're just more fun.
嘿♥咻♥了之后还有趣吗
Are they still more fun after the sex is over?
就这时候最有趣
Uh, that's when they are the most fun.
-真可悲 -是啊
- So pathetic. - Yeah.
是不是该"呯"一下
That's worth a bing?
小崔发型不错嘛
Hey! Trav, your hair looks good.
谢谢我在尝试以新面貌示人
Thanks. I'm kind of trying a new look.
不是你这个小崔是这个小崔
Not you, Tav. Him, Trav.
这下真是有的玩了
This is gonna be years of fun.
我要去弄个相机
I'm gonna go get a camera
给我的超模照一张哥们
and take a picture of my supermodel. Yeah, buddy!
你以为你可以就这么登堂入室
So... you thought you could just waltz on in here
用你可爱的狗脸把他从我身边抢走吗
and steal him away from me with that cute hound dog face?
知道不哥们
Well, guess what, pally?
我也能做出那表情
I can make that face, too. Ooh!
鲍比他凶我要咬死我
Bobby, he's go. Yo, he's gonna kill me!
你说什么呢
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you talkin' about?
他最乖最可爱了是吧哥们
You're just a big old sweetie, aren't you, buddy?
别神经兮兮的了安迪
Don't be acting weird, Andy.
好吧算你狠
Oh, you're good.
我的天简直激♥情♥似火
Oh, my god. That was, like, so hot.
之前我跟你说我最喜欢的数字是4
Hey, I know earlier I said four was my favorite number,
但实际上是6
But it's really six.
我害怕你觉得我是个怪人
I was just scared you'd think I was a dork.
那你现在想干些什么
so what do you want to do now?
有时不说话就很有意思
Sometimes being quiet is fun.
打给劳里
Dial laurie.
喂
Hello?
鲍比什么破电♥话♥
Bobby? Stupid phone.
抱歉这么早打给你
Hey, I'm sorry to call you so early.
我那啥我戒酒了
It's just that I-I've, you know, stopped drinking,
所以我现在精力充沛
So... I just have all this energy.
我6点就起床了
I mean, it's 6:00, and I'm up
我像个农民什么声音啊
It's like I'm a farmer. Oh, what's that noise?
你旁边有女孩吗
Do you have a girl there?
不喝酒我感觉好多了
Without wine, I just feel better.
我睡得更香我还能记住我做的梦
I - I sleep better. I even remember my dreams.
有一个梦里我自身分♥裂♥成了连体儿
You know, in one, I was my own siamese twin.