熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S01E22

Part 3 Dec. 8, 2020, 11:19 p.m.

I have to go. Thank god.
等等为什么
Wait. What? Why?
不是因为你我的工作日结束了
Well, because--it's not you. My workday is over.
-我 -但是
- I... - But...
你在使劲勒我
you are squeezing me very tight.
这一天过得玛琳娜
What a day, Marina.
你真该庆幸自己不是个律师
Be glad you're not a lawyer.
有些公♥司♥以为污染我们的供水系统
Do you know that companies think they can get away
能逃脱法律的制裁
with dumping chemicals in our water supply?
幸运的是我能让任何人开口
Luckily, I can get anyone to talk.
我只要露齿一笑
All I have to do is flash a smile
穿上塑形胸罩
and put on a push-up bra.
你不会是盗用《永不妥协》的剧情吧
Are you stealing the plot of "Erin Brockovich"?
-你在这干什么 -我在等你
- What are you doing here? - I was just waiting for you,
不过现在我要享受这一刻
But now I'm literally bathing in this moment.
天啊
Oh, gosh.
我的皮肤都在享受
Feels so good on my skin.
今晚没有办法了
Ah, nothing we can do tonight.
今晚睡在这明天天一亮
We'll bed down here, then at first light,
戴上硬边帽子和假胡子
We grab hard hats, a couple of mustaches,
我们爬上去把气球拿下来
we'll shimmy on up there and grab it.
为啥戴假胡子
And why the mustaches?
有见过戴硬边帽子而不戴假胡子的吗
Well, you ever seen a hard hat without a mustache under it?
没有不过我得说我是正常人
Uh, no, but in my defense, I'm a sane person.
得走了今晚
Gotta jam. Going out
-和老婆出去跳舞 -赞安迪
- dancing with the wife tonight. - Hey. Go, Andy.
我们不能去跳舞我让保姆回家了
We can't go dancing. I sent the nanny home.
我不想要她
I don't want her.
那我怎么办
So what am I supposed to do,
-自己去跳舞? -他是这么说的
- go shake it by myself? - That's what he said.
一点都不贴边
That wasn't even subtle!
这句话的用法是有技巧的
Th-there's an art to this!
不负责任无需承诺
#No strings attached, no need to commit
我们一起鬼混却又是好友
#We're pallin' 'round while we're gettin' down
我们是有性朋友有性朋友
#We're friends with benefits. Friends with benefits
太烂了
Horrible.
过会你就会唱的
Well, you'll be singing it later.
最好别因为有人用枪指着我头
I hope not, because it'll mean someone
-我才会唱 -想留下来喝咖啡吗
- has a gun to my head. - Hey, you want to stay for coffee?
-今天免了 -好吧稍后见
- Eh, not today. - Oh, cool. See you on the flip side.
怎么了现在有"稍后"这个说法
What? People still say "flip side."
昨晚的"觉觉"睡得怎么样
So how was the boom-boom last night?
那个词比"稍后"烂多了
That is so much worse than "flip side."
我说的时候就感觉到了
I knew it when I said it.
我们都没上♥床♥
No, we actually didn't even hook up.
我们玩扔硬币罐超有趣
We played penny can. It was so much fun.
我们还制定了新的挠痒规则
Oh, we came up with this new tickle rule.
真的吗茱尔斯你喜欢上他了
Did you?! Jules, you are so into him.
艾莉我自己有把握的
Ellie, I've got this under control.
看看他
Look at him.
看看他茱尔斯
Look at him, Jules.
-我不想看 -我知道
- I don't want to. - I know you don't.
因为即使格雷森就在街对面...
Because even though Grayson's right over there...
说啊茱尔斯
Say it, Jules.
还是感觉他远在天边
It's like he's a million miles away.
-他在看我吗 -没
- Is he looking at me? - No.
-现在呢 -没
- What about now? - No
-现在呢 -看了
- What about now? - Yeah.
-真的吗 -没有
- Really? - No.
我感觉像个白♥痴♥ 我要去和他谈谈
I just feel like an idiot. I'm gonna go talk to him.
不行你不能很正常地说话
No, because you can't be normal.
我能
Yes, I can.
好好用水管贱♥人♥
You work that hose, bitch!
你怪怪的茱尔斯
You're weird, Jules.
怪得像只狐狸
Weird like a fox.
别把枪收起来
Oh, no. Put the guns away.
破枪我讨厌它们
Damn these things. I hate them!
小崔快看
Trav, check it out.
为什么小声说话
Why are we whispering?
因为气球在那
Because the balloon's right there.
-别吓到它 -那是个气球
- We don't want to spook it. - It's a balloon.
看你干的好事快来
Now look what you did. Come on!
告诉他你的真实感受
Just tell him how you really feel.
敞开心扉是C计划
Being open and honest is a firm plan "C."
求你别告诉我其他计划
Please don't tell me the other plans.
A计划是
Plan "A" would just be
继续做有性朋友永远这样
continuing on with our friends with benefits thing forever.
B计划更复杂
Plan "B" Is a little more intricate.
首先我要用恶意中伤
First, I have to make him feel insecure
让他没有安全感
with a series of insult-compliments,
比如说"我喜欢你漂亮的小眼睛"
Like, um, "I just love your beautiful, tiny eyes"
或是 "你褪去的发线
or, um, "Your receding hairline
让你的小眼睛很凸显"
really makes your tiny eyes pop."
重点攻击对象是他的眼睛了
So you're gonna focus on the eyes?
没错
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
最后撤掉他最后一块遮羞布
And then to strip what's left of his self-esteem,
我把他喂成胖子
I'll fatten him up.
体重增加400磅他会痛恨他自己
Now once he's gained about 400 pounds and hates himself,
这时候我就甩掉他
that's when I cut him loose.
那个臭胖子会求我接受他
That fat bastard will beg to have me back.
不管我会不会接受他
Either I'll want him or I won't,
关键是到时候就是我说了算
but the point is, it'll be my choice.
看起来你的选择还真不少
Well, I mean, I-I-it sounds like you have a lot of options.
多着呢
Lots.
-一点都不疯狂 -当然
- Not crazy at all. - God, no.
你好安迪
Hey, Andy.
你的鼻孔看起来很生气
Your nostrils look really mad.
别再拿请保姆这件事折磨艾莉了
Stop torturing Ellie about the nanny.
对付欺负你的人最好的办法是
Look, the best thing to do when someone picks on you is
以彼之道还施彼身
to give them a taste of their own medicine.
杂♥志♥上看到的
I read that in a magazine.
我知道你要说什么
And I know what you're gonna say,
真的是杂♥志♥上看到的
but I really did read it in a magazine.
-我以我妈妈的性命担♥保♥ -哪本杂♥志♥
- I swear on my mother's life. - What magazine?
你算什么朋友啊不能放过我吗
What kind of a friend wouldn't let that slide?
现在我妈妈要死了你这个杀人凶手
Now my mom is gonna die, you murderer.
你知道对于一个男人来说
Do you know how hard it is
找到一个妻子以为是送给她的
for a man to find a gift for his wife
其实是送给他自己的礼物有多难吗
that she thinks is for her but is actually for him?
送内衣没用目的性太强
Lingerie didn't work. She saw right through that.
口♥交♥培训班大错特错
Oral sex class? Ha ha. Huge mistake,
而且是天大的侮辱
and as it turns out, really insulting.
但是请保姆艾莉觉得这完全是无私的
But the nanny? Ellie sees that as totally selfless,
但对我来说就意味着可以外出吃饭或看电影
but to me it means being able to go out to a dinner or a movie
甚至时不时可以去跳个舞
or even dancing once in a while.
劳里你知道上次我去跳舞是啥时候吗
Do you know when the last time I went dancing was, Laurie?
-知道不 -不知道
- Huh? Do ya? - No!
这个
This...
还没生疏呢
was still fresh.
你打算这样跳多久
How long are you gonna keep doing that?
回来
Come back!
爸它听不懂它是气球
Dad, it won't listen! It's just a balloon!
我会逮到你宝贝我会逮到你
I'm gonna get you, baby! I'm gonna get you!
爸
Dad!
爸
Dad?
谢天谢地
Oh, thank god.
爸你知道这里还有一层吗
Wait. Did you know there was another ledge here?
不知道今天是运气好撞上了
No. I may have got a little caught up in the moment.
你差点没命了为什么呀
You almost died! And for what?
让你那破船再次下水吗
To get your dumb boat back in the water?
听着别再为了钱开车送老年人