后半生

-快 -对
Quick? -Yeah.
继续
Go on.
就差一点 祝你下次运气更好一点 再见
Nearly. Better luck next time. Farewell!
回头见 兄弟
See you later, buddy.
大家好像都玩得很开心
Everyone seems to be having fun.
-是啊 今天很不错 -没错
Yeah, lovely day out, innit? -It really is.
他在这里 笨蛋精灵鸡鸡 你演的是什么
Here he is. Knobby the Dickhead Elf. What you come as?
-宫廷小丑 -宫廷小丑
A jester. -Jester?
更像他妈猥亵者
More like a fucking molester.
宫廷小丑猥亵者
Jester Molester!
圣诞老人的小婊♥子♥
Fucking Santa's little cunt.
别欺负他
Leave him alone, mate.
噢
Oh.
屋顶上的恋童癖开口了
Kiddy-fiddler on the roof's piped up, inn't he?
真♥他♥妈♥的 你让我们别欺负孩子
Fucking hell. You're telling us to leave kids alone?
-应该是你不应该欺负孩子 -他妈的小混♥蛋♥
You little fucking nuisance.
-猪 -小混♥蛋♥
You pig! -You nuisance.
把你的屁♥股♥坐他脸上 亵童犯
Listen, stick your arse in his face, Nonce. Go on.
-不要 别把你的屁♥股♥坐… -看看 人体蜈蚣
No, don't stick your arse...Look at this. Human centipede!
我绕过来干♥他♥后门 让他变他妈人体弯蜈蚣
Listen, I'll get 'round here and bum him, turn him into a fucking human bentipede.
噢 他喜欢这样
Oh, he likes that.
清理一下 你饿吗 我中午吃了甜玉米
Clean that up. You hungry? I had sweetcorn for lunch.
-真的吗我死了算了 -你死了就好了 亲爱的
Really? I wish I was dead. -I wish you were dead and all, darlin'.
真♥他♥妈♥的 让我们看看你的脚 我快高♥潮♥了
Fucking hell. Show us your feet. I'm almost there.
够了 朋友 行了吧
That's enough, boys. Leave him alone.
真♥他♥妈♥的 越来越傻了 不是吗
Fucking hell. It's fucking dumb and dumber, innit?
再说一遍 朋友
Come again, mush?
他妈甜甜圈买♥♥一送十吗
Fuck it. They got buy one, get ten free on the fucking doughnuts, hey, son?
喔
Ooh.
你自找的
You bring it on yourself.
真是的 太糟糕了
Bloody hell, that's awful.
行了
Got it.
谢谢
Thank you.
又一次这样 我这悲惨的人生
Time and again throughout my miserable life,
我以为已经到了最低谷 原来还有更低
I thought I'd reached my lowest ebb. I never have.
啊哈
Ah.
我想过无数次 已经到底 只能反弹了 并不是这样
Thousands of times I've thought, "The only way is up." Nope.
你又错了 布莱恩 我们给你一个惊喜
"Wrong again, Brian. We've got a surprise for you."
在停车场 给坦布里足球队的助理主教练吹♥箫♥
Surely giving the assistant manager of Tambury FC a blow job in a car park
当然是够堕落了吧
is the depth of depravity?
不算什么
No.
当着我前妻和全镇人的面 被♥干♥后门才算
Getting bummed in front of my ex-wife and the whole town is.
然后吉普赛人米奇挺身而出 成了全场英雄
And then Micky the Gypsy comes in, who's actually shagging my ex-wife,
而他现在和我前妻睡
and he saves the day.
给我说一个笑话
Tell me a joke.
小姑娘为什么会从秋千上掉下来
Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
-不知道 -因为她没手臂
Dunno. -She had no arms.
很好笑
That's... That was funny.
-真的 -真的
Really? -Yeah.
噢 谢谢
Oh, cheers.
你胡子上有东西
You've got, like, shit on you.
-嗯 -西红柿
Um, yeah. -Tomato.
嗯
Yeah.
-要喝一杯咖啡吗 -好啊
Do you want to get a coffee? -Yeah.
好
Yeah.
我请客
I'll pay.
-好的 -那来吧
Good. -Come on, then.
好的
Okay.
-它们很乖吧 -什么意思
Are they nice? -What do you mean?
不是因为不乖才来这里 对吧
Well, they're not here 'cause they're bad?
没有不好的狗 只有不好的主人
There are no bad dogs, just bad owners.
你喜欢养狗 对吧
You like having a dog, don't you?
它救了我的命
She saved my life.
它知道我什么时候难过
She knows when I'm sad.
我总是很难过 所以它要弄错也挺难的
I mean, I'm always sad, so it's hard for her to be wrong, but
但是在夜里 当我喝酒的时候
At night, when I'm drinking,
它就在旁边
she's right there,
守着我
on duty.
它也能在视频里认出丽莎
She recognizes Lisa on video as well.
我们坐在那里 想念她 有了它 我至少不是孤单一人
And we sit there missing her, but at least we're missing her together.
我不相信有灵魂
I don't believe in a soul, but
但是如果真的有 那狗也有
if there is such a thing, dogs have got one.
它喜欢你
Oh. - Oh. He likes you.
-是吧 -噢 是啊
Does he? - Oh yeah.
能给我养吗
Can I keep him?
噢 可以啊
Well, yeah.
之前先会有一次家访 并要提供具体信息
Pending a home visit and a few details.
我来填
I'll do it.
她没事吧她不是心理不稳定吧
Um, is she all right? She's not unstable?
只是有一点孤单
Just a bit lonely.
只要狗去好人家 我们就放心了
We just need to make sure the dog goes to a good home.
她挺好的 你不是说了吗 没有不好的狗 只有不好的主人
She's fine. Remember, there are no bad dogs, just bad owners.
如果对狗不好 不给它爱 它就会这样
If you treat a dog bad and show 'em no love, that's what they act like.
如果对它善良 给它希望 它就会很好
If you show 'em kindness and hope, they're fine.
-对人也是一样 -狗吃什么
It's the same with people. -What do they eat?
什么都吃 拖鞋 树枝 玩具 呕吐物
Anything. Slippers, sticks, toys, vomit.
还有狗粮
And dog food.
很容易
It's easy.
还好吗
All right?
-你好 -干嘛呢
Hiya. -What are you up to?
凯思要领养一条狗
Kath's adopting a dog.
-狗通常不喜欢我 -为什么
Dogs don't usually like me. -Why?
-因为我的工作 -你做什么工作
Well, my job. -What's your job?
邮递员
Postman.
噢
Oh.
-你呢 -我卖♥♥广♥告♥
You? -I sell advertising.
噢 很好啊
Oh, nice.
好的
So…
回头见
I'll, uh, see you later.
-回头见 -回头见
See you. -See ya.
♪ Rows and flows ♪
♪ Of angel hair ♪
♪ And ice cream castles in the air ♪
♪ And feather canyons everywhere ♪
♪ Looked at clouds that way ♪
♪ But now they only block the sun ♪
♪ They rain and they snow on everyone ♪
♪ So many things I would've done ♪
♪ But clouds got in my way ♪
♪ I've looked at clouds ♪
♪ From both sides now ♪
♪ From up and down ♪
♪ And still somehow ♪
♪ It's cloud illusions I recall ♪
♪ I really don't know clouds ♪
♪ - At all -You come in too! ♪
你也下水
You're in the water, too.
来嘛 托尼
Come in, Tony!
♪ Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels ♪
♪ The dizzy dancing way that you feel ♪
♪ - As every - Tony! ♪
托尼
Tony.
♪ - Fairy tale comes real -Smile. ♪
微笑
Smile.
♪ I've looked at love that way ♪
♪ But now it's just another show ♪
♪ And you leave 'em laughing when you go ♪
♪ And if you care, don't let them know ♪
♪ Don't give yourself away ♪
♪ I've look at love from both sides now ♪
♪ From give and take ♪
♪ And still somehow ♪
♪ It's love's illusions that I recall ♪
♪ I really don't know love ♪
♪ I really don't know love at all ♪
♪ Tears and fears and feeling proud ♪
♪ To say "I love you" right out loud ♪
♪ Dreams and schemes and circus crowds ♪
♪ I've look at life that way ♪
♪ Oh, but now old friends ♪
♪ They're acting strange ♪
后半生 第三季 完
谢 谢 观 赏
♪ And they shake their heads ♪
♪ And they tell me that I've changed ♪
♪ Well, something's lost ♪
♪ But something's gained ♪
♪ In living every day ♪
♪ I've looked at life From both sides now ♪
♪ From win and lose ♪
♪ And still somehow ♪
♪ It's life's illusions ♪
♪ I recall ♪
♪ I really don't know life ♪
♪ At all ♪