后半生

But also for anyone else who's a loser like me.
马特觉得自己有冒险精神 因为他有件带帽防风衣
Matt thinks he's adventurous 'cause he owns a cagoule.
兰尼发现口袋里 有一块没碎的饼干就很激动 拜托
Lenny gets excited if he finds an uneaten biscuit in his pocket. Come on.
你说得对 我的生活确实非常无趣
You're right. I've absolutely nothing interesting in my life.
并不是这样
Well, that's not true.
我有一个假装的男朋友 我讨厌自己的工作
Got a pretend boyfriend. I hate my job.
我宁愿像你一样 但我已经失去勇气
I'd rather do what you do, but I've lost my nerve.
嗯 我没办法再约会了 好男人都有主了
Yeah, I can't date anymore. All the best men are taken.
要不就是同性恋或者神经病
You know, or gay or mental.
我列了一张好男人条件表 多惨啊
I made a list for my perfect bloke. How tragic is that?
嗯 我也列了 你的表上列了哪些
Oh, yeah, I've done that. What's on yours?
有车 有房♥ 有生意 没孩子
Own car, house, own business, no kids.
聪明 好男人 你呢
Smart, you know, proper bloke. What was on yours?
一定要有一张脸和一个鸡鸡
Must have a face and a cock.
凯思 要喝咖啡吗
Kath. Fancy a coffee?
好的
Yeah.
我现在不在意了
I can't be bothered anymore.
有什么意义呢
I mean, what's the point, eh?
嗯 我知道你的感受
Yeah, I know how you feel.
噢
Oh.
不好意思
Excuse me?
-我叫凯思 -什么
Kath. -What?
什么
What?
我以为你要问我叫什么名字
I thought you were gonna ask my name.
-为什么 -对啊 为什么
Why? -Yeah, why?
不知道
Don't know.
-你有零钱吗 -我没钱
Uh, do you have any change? -Oh, I don't have any money.
我有钱
I mean, I've got money.
我有一份好工作
I've got a good job.
我的钱放在办公室了
I just left it at work.
好的
Right. Okay.
-你结婚了吗 -没有
You married?
-有女朋友吗 -没有
Uh, no. - Girlfriend?
-是同性恋吗 -不是
No. -Gay?
-不 -叫什么名字
No. - Name?
-查尔斯 这是凯思 -嗯
Charles. You met Kath? -Yeah.
-嗯 -你为什么会觉得我是同性恋
Yep. -Why would you think I'm gay?
为什么不会
Why wouldn't I?
-什么 -没关系 都行
What? -It doesn't matter. Either way.
回头要不要一起喝一杯
Would you like to go for a drink later?
好的
Yeah.
好的 我把名片给你
Okay. Um, let me give you my card.
谢谢
Thank you.
-谢谢 -再见
Thanks. -Bye.
再见
Bye.
差点要了我的命
Oh, I could die.
-为什么 -尴尬死我了我刚才太不沉着了
Why? -Of embarrassment! I was so uncool.
-他喜欢你 -没有
He liked you. -No, he didn't!
-他慌了 觉得自己不够礼貌 -律师不会慌
He panicked and was polite. -Lawyers don't panic.
这是另一回事 他是律师 他穿着律师袍什么的
That's another thing. He's a lawyer! He had the costume and everything.
不能告诉他我在本地免费报社工作 他会觉得我很失败
Oh. I can't tell him I work for a free local paper. He'll think I'm a loser.
我没觉得被冒犯到
None taken.
告诉他你是调查记者
Tell him you're an investigative journalist.
会把他吓着的 他会以为我在查他
No, that'll frighten him. He'll think I'm looking into him.
律师会希望我是做什么的呢
What would a lawyer want me to be?
杀人犯
A murderer.
什么
What?
做你自己就好
Just be yourself.
说实话
Tell the truth.
永远都说实话
Always tell the truth.
这样更糟糕
This is even worse.
什么
What is?
你坐在那里拼字谜
You sat there doing a fucking word search!
以前是看黄书 兄弟 堆这么高
Used to be porn, mate, stacked that high.
那些日子已经一去不返
Those days are gone.
五年前 我可以撸一发射到你脸上
Five years ago, I could've knocked one out and got you right in the face.
我这辈子算是白费了
I've wasted my life.
-准备好了吗 -嗯
Ready? - Yeah.
好的 来吧
All right. Let's go.
噢
Oh.
1比0
One, nil.
拜托
Come on.
好的 3比0
Okay. All right, three, nil.
-有没有擦边 -没有
Oh, did that get a little nick on...No.
打到蛋蛋了
Ow. Ooh. -Right in the bollocks!
好吧
Okay.
哦
Oh.
-19比2 -3
Nineteen, two? -Three!
-是嘛好的 -是的
Is it? Okay. -Yeah.
-20比3 -嗯 好的
Twenty, three. -Yeah. Fine.
喔
Ugh.
打得不错
Good game.
这其实不够运动吧
I mean, it wasn't athletic enough, really, was it? Just
-你就站着 -对 站着打球
You were just standing there. -Yeah, hitting it back.
-对 但是几乎没动 -嗯
Yeah, but you're not. You're barely moving. -Right.
所以我觉得应该玩更运动的项目
So I think we need to do something a bit more sporty.
-好的 -比如网球什么的
Okay. -Um, like tennis or something.
-好的 -好的
Yeah, great. - Good. Okay.
因为乒乓球就看运气 不是吗 和弹珠台差不多
'Cause table tennis is just luck, isn't it? It's like pinball.
♪ Dancing in the moonlight ♪
♪ Everybody's feeling... ♪
-不行 这个听够了 -那就放你喜欢的
Nah, that's enough of that. -Put something you like on, then.
嗯 这不容易
Yeah. There's the challenge.
威尔·史密斯《千禧威龙》
Will Smith, Willennium.
-对 千禧年 -对 之后就没人买♥♥光碟了
Yes, as in the Millennium. -Yeah, the last time anyone bought a CD.
-灯塔家族 -这个乐队不错
Lighthouse Family. -Good band.
我很喜欢灯塔家族
Love the Lighthouse Family.
-他妈的苏珊·博伊尔 -嗯
Susan fucking Boyle? -Yeah?
怎么了
What?
-不要了 -哎你干什么你怎么…
Out she goes. -Hey! What are you doing?
别扔布雷的光碟
Did you... Not Bublé.
就是要扔布雷
Yes, Bublé.
不要你疯了吗 你会害死人的托尼
No! Are you mad? You'll kill someone! Tony!
-电台司令 -这张不是我的
Radiohead. -That's not mine.
我知道 很好听
No, I know. It's good.
是吉尔的
It's Jill's.
-丽莎给她买♥♥的 -是嘛
Lisa got it for her. -Did she?
嗯 她很喜欢
Yeah, she loved 'em.
♪ Transport ♪
♪ Motorways and tramlines ♪
♪ Starting and then stopping ♪
♪ Taking off and landing ♪
♪ The emptiest of feelings ♪
-喝 -喝
Cheers. -Cheers.
你是律师
Um, so you're a lawyer?
对 出庭律师
Uh, yes, a barrister.
-好的 -你呢
Right. -You?
不是
No.
-什么 -我不是出庭律师
What? -No, I'm... I'm not a barrister.
好的 你是做什么工作的呢
Okay. Uh, what is your job?
我的工作
Oh, my job?
嗯
Hmm.
嗯
Um,
好的 我说实话
okay, I... I'm not gonna lie.
我是医生
I'm a doctor.
-哇 -嗯
Wow. -Yeah.
-你自己执业 -对啊 这就是我的职业
You got a practice? -No need! Done all that!
有证书的
Got my certificate and everything.
什么
What?
你说什么
What did you say?
你是不是自己在执业
Oh, um, do you have a practice?
还是在医院 当全科医生或者外科医生
Are you a GP or a surgeon in a hospital?
噢 对
Oh, yeah.
我在医院工作
Um, I work in a hospital