后半生

Come on.
像一条狗
Like a dog.
-麻烦你继续工作吧 -不可能 不值得
Could you get back to work, please? -No way. It's not worth it.
拜托了 已经浪费了够多的时间
Please. Come on. Wasted enough time.
有一个新笑话
Hey, here's a new one.
-有什么比你的苹果里有一条蛆更糟 -不知道
What's worse than a maggot in your apple? -Dunno.
发现你前妻在超♥市♥停车场 被一群荷兰卡车司机轮♥奸♥
Finding your ex-wife in Safeway's car park getting gangbanged by some Dutch lorry drivers.
在这之后 苹果里有蛆再也不算什么事了 相信我
Yeah, finding a maggot in your apple's nothing after that, boy. Trust me.
不管怎么说 我要开始更严肃地对待我的喜剧了
Anyway, I'm gonna start taking my comedy a little bit more seriously.
最近这几年 我的日子真的不好过
Life has kicked the shit out of me in recent years,
但是我已经跌到谷底 只可能向上走了 对吧
but I've reached rock bottom so the only way is up, innit?
对 我这边的话 肯给我这里那里找了几个试镜
Yeah. As for me, like, Ken's getting me a couple of auditions here and there.
小角色这些
Like small bits and stuff like that.
-妈的 -怎么了
Shit. -What?
真不敢相信
I can't believe it.
我前妻和吉普赛人米奇在一起
My ex-wife and Micky the Gypsy.
他暴♥力♥吗
Is he violent?
绝对的疯子
Absolutely psycho.
提醒你 我见过她用瓶砸交通管♥理♥员♥
Mind you, I've seen her bottle a traffic warden. Aye.
自己想
You do the mathematics.
你好
Heya.
-还好吗 -挺好的
All right? -All right.
还好吗 米奇
All right, Micky? Yeah?
詹姆斯 这是米奇 这是我前妻伊丽莎白
James, this is Micky. And this is my ex-wife, Elizabeth.
你好
Hiya.
-你好 -还在一起啊
All right? -Still together, then?
嗯 断断续续
On and off, yeah.
她之前和一个白♥痴♥搞了一阵子
She was shagging Spud Head for a while.
被他抓了个现行 对吧
He caught us at it, didn't you?
好尴尬
Awkward.
不尴尬
It wasn't awkward.
给了我借口把那贱♥人♥胖揍一顿
Gave me the excuse to smash the granny out of the cunt.
鲜血淋淋 对吧
Bloodbath, wasn't it?
够惨的
Proper mess.
-现在挺不错嘛 -你了解我的
Turned out quite well, really. - You know me.
我喜欢乐观地看事情
I like to look at things in a positive way.
没错 兄弟
I know you do, mate.
我的问题是喜欢尽量讨好每一个人
My problem is I just want to try and please everyone.
她是荡♥妇♥ 兄弟
She's a slag, mate.
他知道的
He knows.
你还好吗你呢
You well though? You well though?
还不错
Can't complain.
不管怎么说 见到你们总是很高兴
Anyway, always nice to see you.
回头见
I'll just, uh, see you later.
-祝你好运 -嗯
Be lucky. - Yeah.
再见
Bye.
我们慢慢地绕过伊丽莎白的屁♥股♥
We'll, uh, ease past Elizabeth's hip.
嗯 单轮移♥动♥ 行了
Yeah, do the one-wheel trick. -That's it.
你最好的朋友就是这么可悲 詹姆斯
That's how pathetic your best mate is, James.
-你不可悲 先生 -太失败了
You are not pathetic, sir! -Proper loser.
-和我比可不失败 -你开玩笑吧
Not compared to me though. -You're joking, aren't you?
-没有 -你会唱歌♥ 跳舞
No. -You can sing, dance.
你会用鼻子吹两根笛子 会织毛衣 对羊毛很有一手
Play two recorders with your nose. You can knit. You're great with wool. You're great with wool.
如果说你失败的话 我们其他人还有什么机会
If you're a loser, what chance have the rest of us got?
谢谢 兄弟
Cheers, mate.
去不去垃圾堆 看看那里有没有什么好东西
Do you wanna go up the tip? See if there's any action?
-一定要去 -嗯 但如果可以的话 我得先去我的经纪人那里一趟
You betcha! -I've got to swing by my agent's first, if that's all right.
-我跟你一起去 小伙子 -好的
- I'll go with you, young man. - Right.
还好吗
All right?
嗯
Yes.
我刚才在和斯坦说你很快就来
I was just saying to Stan you'd be along soon.
嗯
Right.
-工作还顺利吧 -嗯
Good day at work? -Yep.
-你现在还和他说话 -每天都说
You still talk to him? - Every day.
不光是在这里 在哪里都一样
Not just here. Everywhere.
但是在家里不会有人投来异样的眼光
I don't get funny looks at home though.
很有帮助
It really helps.
说出来很有帮助
Saying it out loud, I mean.
你能听到自己说的话
You hear yourself.
对 我从来不和自己说话 否则大概会吵起来
Yeah, I've never been one for talking to myself. I'd probably argue.
你不会和自己说话
You wouldn't be talking to yourself.
对
No.
我确实觉得她还在这里
I do feel like she's still here.
就好像很犹豫似的
And it's like I'm in two minds.
一方面知道事实
One knows the truth.
她死了
She died.
有逻辑性
Logical.
没有天堂 没有转世 没有鬼魂
There's no heaven. No reincarnation, no ghosts.
我知道
I know that.
但是我感觉到她在我身体里
But then I feel her inside me.
每时每刻
All the time.
就好像她还是我的一部分 指引着我
Like she's still part of me, guiding me.
很奇怪
It's weird.
这是因为你是人
That's because you're human,
其实任何东西都没什么道理
and nothing really makes sense.
看看你 大哲学家克尔凯郭尔
Look at you, Kierkegaard.
有情感是正常的
It's okay to have feelings, you know.
事情并没有逻辑性
Things that aren't logical.
科学让我们明白怎么活更久
Science makes us understand how to stay alive longer.
情感给我们想要活的理由
Feelings give us the reason to want to.
以及不想活的理由
Or not want to.
我刚才说得那么好
I was doing so well.
我没事
I'm fine.
嗯
Hmm.
-妈妈 -亲爱的 你怎么来了
Mum. -Hello, darling. What are you doing here?
我来谈业务
I'm here for a business meeting.
-噢 祝你顺利 -你怎么在这里
Aw, bless ya. -What are you doing here?
-她在给我挑染 -对 我来帮忙
She's doing my highlights. -Yeah, helping out.
别说这个了 该拿你怎么办呢
Never mind that. What are we gonna do with you?
还在送本地报纸怎么这样
Still delivering local newspapers? What's he like?
我得挣钱啊 妈妈说我大了 该付房♥租了
Well, I've got to earn money. Mum says I'm old enough now to pay rent.
这样才公平嘛 对吧 肯
It's only fair, isn't it, Ken?
还和这么失败的人在一起玩
Oh, hanging round with losers though?
-无意麻烦 -没放心上
No offense. -None taken.
我和布莱恩是一个团队
Me and Brian are a team.
-他也想找经纪人 -为什么
He wants representation too. -For what?
-为追求他的单口相声事业 -大干一番
To pursue his stand-up. - Big time.
我准备好了 我要大展拳脚
I'm ready. I wanna go for it.
我已经厌倦了自信遭受打击
I'm tired of having my confidence destroyed
一无是处
and being useless.
但你确实一无是处
You are useless though.
你在喜剧方面根本没有机会
You've got absolutely no chance of getting anywhere in comedy.
我感觉到自己的虚张声势在逐渐变弱
I can feel my bravado ebbing away.
你说你可以让任何人成为明星
You said you could make anyone a star.
我又不会他妈魔法
I'm not bloody magic!
-他又不会他妈魔法 -那样就是浪费我的时间
He's not bloody magic, mate. -I'd be wasting my time on that.
-毫无意义 -这样的态度不对
Pointless, innit? -That's not the attitude!
-不对吗 -不对
Oh, is it not? -No, it isn't!
-那你来好了 -没问题
You do it, then. -I will!
很好这样你也能忙一点 因为我完全没办法帮你找到活儿
Good! Keep you busy, 'cause I can't get you any work at all.
太好了
Brilliant.
-不过也没关系 -什么没关系
Don't matter though. -What doesn't?
做人失败没关系
Being a loser.
我仍然爱你
I still love ya.
太好了
That's nice.
-还好吗 -嗯 你呢
Oh, all right? - Yeah, you?
嗯 鼓起勇气面对如今的情况
Yeah. You know, bearing up under the circumstances.
-什么情况 -萝西
What circumstances? -Well, Roxy.
萝西怎么了
What's happened to Roxy?
-你知道的 -知道什么
You know. - No, what?
-她是我的妞 不是吗 -是的