后半生

You never lose that spark.
我们就不大费周章结婚了
We weren't gonna bother getting married,
但我是天主教♥徒♥ 于是我开始对这样的性关系感到愧疚
but I'm Catholic, and I started feeling guilty about the sex.
性关系
Sex.
好的 婚礼安排在什么时候
Okay. Um, when is the wedding? -Uh
-8月28日 -28日
August 28th. - 28th.
-8月我也要结婚 -笨蛋
I'm getting married in August. -Fool.
恭喜你们 希望你们幸福美满
Well, congratulations. I hope you have many wonderful years together.
希望这次我先走
Hopefully, I go first this time.
希望到时候我还来得及找别人
Hopefully in time for me to find someone else!
拍一张照片
Take a picture.
微笑
Smile.
非常好
Great.
我是不是不怎么抱丽莎
Did I hug Lisa enough?
你开玩笑吗 我没见过像你们这么相爱的一对
Are you joking? I never met a couple more devoted to each other.
不是 她知道我爱她 但是我有没有说出来呢
No, I know she knew I loved her, but did I actually say it out loud?
有没有总是跟她说
Did I remind her all the time?
有啊 周围所有人都看在眼里 她更是心知肚明
Yeah, you did. It was obvious to everyone around, let alone her.
好兄弟
You're a good mate.
我是实话实说 我也希望这样
I'm just being honest. It's what I want too.
认识琼是我一生最大的幸运
Meeting June's the best thing that ever happened to me.
信不信由你 我没你以为的那么抢手
Believe it or not, I'm not as in demand as you might think.
-你是很好的选择 -真的
You're a fine catch. -Hug?
-假的 离我远点 你这满身臭汗的软体动物 -你刚说我是很好的选择
No, get away from me, you sweaty mollusk. -You just said I was a fine catch.
对 我是说深海钓鱼表演的时候
Yeah, but I meant like in one of those deep sea fishing shows
从海底钓起来一样东西 大家还以为这个物种早就灭绝了
where they pull summat up from the bottom. They thought it was extinct.
谁都不知道这是什么 就是一团东西 可能是鱼或者鼻涕虫
They don't even know what it is. It's just a blob. It could be a fish or a slug.
你这样说话才正常嘛
Back to normal, then.
-什么都不可能再回归正常 -妈的 我为什么要提着一茬
Nothing will ever be back to normal. -Oh, shit. Why did I say that?
以前的正常 是我们喝醉 你睡在沙发上
Normal used to be us getting drunk and you sleeping on the couch.
我们今晚喝酒吧 不喝多 我自己能回家
Let's have a drink tonight. Nothing big. I'll make it home.
好的
Yeah, all right.
你好
Hey, boy.
-你好 -你还好吗
All right? -You all right?
-嗯 -没事吧
Yeah. -How's it going?
-嗯 挺好的 -是嘛
All right, yeah. -Yeah?
今天天气不错
Nice day, innit?
-听说你心情不太好 -嗯
Heard you're feeling a bit down. -Yeah.
跟我聊聊
Yeah. Talk to me.
大家都知道萝西是做哪一行的
Well, everyone knows what Roxy does for a living.
-我比较尴尬 -尴尬
I'm just embarrassed. -Embarrassed?
我给别人送邮件 那些人很可能搞过她
I'm probably delivering to blokes that have actually shagged her.
那还算好的
At the very least.
-什么意思 -如果付钱 也算不上搞
What do you mean? -I doubt it's just a straightforward shag.
明白我的意思吧
Get my drift?
你想想啊 想象她要做的那些事
Think about it, boy. Imagine all the things she has to do.
传教士体♥位♥ 传教士体♥位♥ 腻了
Missionary, missionary, missionary, missionary, missionary. Boring.
翻个身 让我看看屁♥股♥
"Turn round. Let me see that ass."
也腻了
Bored of that.
转过来 给我吹
"Swivel round. Get your mouth around my naughty lolly."
牙齿别咬到 用牙龈
"Watch those gnashers! Keep it gums."
非常好 给你 钱拿好
"Lovely. There you go. Take the money."
回到你邮递员男友身边去吧
"Now, go back to your postman boyfriend."
知道我的意思吧
Know what I mean?
听我说 至少她还有钱拿
Listen, at least she gets paid for it.
我老婆以前是免费送
Huh? My wife used to give it away.
有时候背着我 有时候她让我拍下来
Sometimes behind my back. Sometimes she'd make me film it.
我是什么感受 我在拍 会有什么感受
How's that make me feel? I'm filming it. Looking through... How's that make me feel?
觉得自己一文不值
Worthless.
就像吃鸟屎的鼻涕虫
Like a slug feeding on bird shit,
在雨中 等待着被踩
in the rain, only to be trodden on
痛苦地死去
and left to die in agony.
我的意思是 不要做我这样一文不值的鼻涕虫
What I'm trying to say is don't be a worthless slug like me.
要像个男人一样
Be a man.
回头见
See you soon.
-你好 -你好
Hello. -Hello.
你是我儿子
You're my son.
对
Yep.
你还好吗 爸
How are you, Dad?
还不错
Uh, mustn't grumble.
你去哪里了
And where have you been?
澳大利亚
Australia.
是哪里
Oh. Where's that?
从这里出去左转
You know, if you come out here and turn left,
过去大概16000公里
it's about 10,000 miles.
噢 好的
Oh, right.
但是你现在回来了
You're back now though, yeah?
-嗯 -不走了
Yeah. - For good?
-嗯 -你好
Yep. -Hello.
-你好 -你好
Hello. -Hi.
我们在那啥…
I was just, you know…
扯扯家常
Hanging.
你下次把象棋带来
You should bring me, um, chess set.
我们下一盘 你以前很厉害
Give you a game. You were pretty good when you were young.
-是嘛 -是啊
Yeah.
在哪里
Where is it?
餐柜里 在雪莉酒旁边
Sideboard, with the sherry.
-我明天带来 -谢谢
I'll bring it in tomorrow. - Thanks.
我得走了
I'd better go actually. I was just
我可以休息一下 跟你一起走走
Well, I can take a quick break and walk with you if you like?
好的
Yeah, sure.
-再见 爸 -再见
Bye, Dad. -Bye.
你干什么
What are you doing?
朋友之间就应该牵手啊
Friends hold hands.
-是嘛 -是的
Do they? -Yeah.
-有的男人之间都牵手 -同性恋
Some men even hold hands. -Gay men.
直男有时候也会互相牵手
No, straight men hold hands too sometimes.
哪儿有直男牵手在街上走的啊
What straight men walk along the street holding hands?
在西班牙 而且不是同性恋
In Spain, and they're not gay.
有一些吧
Well, some are.
-不太多 很有男子气概 斗牛士 -嗯
Not many. Very macho. Bullfighters. -Right.
斗牛士不是同性恋
Bullfighters aren't gay.
对 戴着小贝雷帽 穿着镶有亮片的紧身衣
No. In their little berets and their sequinned tights,
跳着舞到处晃 别人把玫瑰花扔给他们
dancing around having roses thrown at them.
绝对不是同性恋
Definitely not gay.
虐待狂贱♥人♥
Sadistic cunts.
但不是同性恋 我们去哪里
But not gay. Where are we going?
♪ We can't play this game anymore ♪
♪ But can we still be friends? ♪
♪ Things just can't go on like before ♪
♪ But can we still be friends? ♪
-干什么呢 -水仙花
What are you doing? -Daffodil.
嗯 故意损坏财物罪
Yeah. Criminal damage.
操♥我♥是为你摘的 混♥蛋♥
Fuck. I was picking it for you, you miserable sod!
♪ The wheel to turn ♪
♪ Things are said ♪
好的 开始吧
Right, come on, then.
你们有些人可能也知道
So as some of you might know,
今年是坦布里集市500周年
it is the 500-year anniversary of the Tambury Fair
安排我们做出一些文化方面的东西来
and muggins here has been asked to make sure the Tambury Players provide a bit of culture.
我已经说服了科琳
Now, I've roped in Coleen.
她负责幕后组织
She's gonna be covering the behind-the-scenes organizing,
她也会给我们安排特色任务
and also she's gonna be doing a big feature on us.
喔
Ooh.
我一贯喜欢把大家安排到聚光灯下
Typical of me to get us in the spotlight, isn't it?
我们要怎么做给一些点子啊
So, come on, then. What are we gonna do? We need some ideas. Ooh.
-有没有什么想法历史性强一些的 -《悲惨世界》
Any thoughts? Something historical. -Les Misérables.
《悲惨世界》确实是古代的东西 但我们不能演这个
Les Misérables did happen in the past. We can't really do that though, can we?
我不出钱做这样的节目 去他妈的
I'm not paying for that. Fuck that.
我受够了《贝隆夫人》
I got done with that for Evita.
到现在还没完
Still paying that off.
不行 要更互动的东西 可以到处走走
No, we need something interactive, you know, where you can walk around.
有一种漫步的感觉
A bit promenade.
别人走过来 一个维京人走来 强♥奸♥ 劫掠