后半生

People coming up to you. A viking coming up, you know, raping and pillaging.
我就是打个比方
Not actually.
一个和尚走来 为你祈福 古代的那种东西
A monk coming up to you, blessing you. Stuff from the past!
比如说海盗船 一头猪到处跑
A pirate ship. I don't know. A pig! Just a pig running around.
这个主意怎么样我不知道
Is that a good idea? I don't know.
给点意见不能光是我在想 我们还有什么点子
Come on! It can't just be me. What other ideas have we got?
我可以扮演失业的莎士比亚戏剧演员
I can be an out-of-work Shakespearean actor.
别这样 詹姆斯
Oh, don't start, James.
我们都只是要好好玩罢了 我们都放弃了自己的宝贵时间
We're all just having fun, okay? We've all given up our own time to be here.
但是你不用送报纸
Yeah, but you don't have to deliver papers, do you?
你也不用 多数都被你扔了
Well, nor do you. You dump most of 'em.
听我说 我现在的情况不太好 而且…
Look, things aren't going well for me at the minute and
你的情况从来就不好 詹姆斯
They've never gone well for you, James.
那我呢 我也有一次和你一起错信过人
What about me? I backed the wrong horse with you.
我有点担心他
Now, look, I'm a bit worried about him
因为除了表演 他完全没有任何事可做
because without performing, he's got absolutely nothing going for him.
这就是表演 你还要什么呢
Yeah, this is performing. What more do you want?
但这很业余 都很业余
But it's just amateur, isn't it? It's all amateur!
业余你可别这么说
Amateur? Amateur? Don't you dare.
我是专业演员兼导演 你会知道的
I'm a professional actor and director, I'll have you know.
-你演过什么 -音乐剧《出租车司机》 在维冈
What you been in? -Taxi Driver, the musical, Wigan.
演得好吗
Any good?
你来评判
Oh, well, you tell me.
♪ 你在和我说吗我在和你说 ♪
♪ Are you talking to me? 'Cause I'm talking to you ♪
♪ 我看不出你♥他♥妈♥是在和别人说 ♪
♪ I don't see anyone else You could be fucking talking to ♪
砰 砰
Bang, bang!
♪ 我是出租车司机 ♪
♪ I'm a taxi driver ♪
♪ 我行驶在夜里 爱接谁就接谁 ♪
♪ I drive through the night Picking up who I like ♪
砰 砰
Bang, bang!
♪ 我是出租车司机 ♪
♪ I'm a taxi driver ♪
♪ 如果你在卖♥♥可♥卡♥因♥ 那就从后面给我拿一份 ♪
♪ If you're dealing crack Then you'll get one in the back from me ♪
♪ 今晚 ♪
♪ Tonight! ♪
出租车
Taxi!
他演得真不错
He's good.
-现在也不太有人给服务员打指响了 -要给你酒水单吗
People don't often click the waiter now. - Can I give you the wine list?
可能应该是 请问要不要酒水单
I think it's "May I give you the wine list?"
-抱歉 -谢谢
- Sorry. - Thank yo.
你对葡萄酒了解吗
Do you know about wine?
不太懂 我喜欢普罗赛柯葡萄酒
Um, not really. I like prosecco.
-要不要点 -好的
Shall I order? -Yeah.
请给我们来两杯
May we have a couple of glasses
2017年的基安蒂葡萄酒 麻烦
of Chianti Classico 2017, I think, please?
-其他的我们之后再点 -哪一种酒
And then we'll take it from there. -Which one's that?
2017年的基安蒂葡萄酒 我不可能说得更具体了
I can't be much more specific than the Chianti Classico 2017,
白纸黑字写在那里
which is written down there in black and white.
-好的 -本职工作上的东西要了解
Right. -Be knowledgeable about your job.
如果心不在焉的话 那也许不该在这里
If your heart's not in it, maybe you shouldn't be here.
我拿的是最低工资 朋友
I'm on minimum wage, mate.
上学时应该更努力一些 朋友
Work harder at school, mate.
夹着尾巴跑了
Off he goes, tail between his legs.
对了 你是在…
So you work in
手肘不要搁在桌上 你是在报纸行业工作
Elbows off the table. You work in the newspaper industry?
-是的 在报社 -是的
Yeah. Yeah. -For a newspaper?
嗯
Huh.
-是的 -嗯
Yeah. -Um,
我其实只看《卫报》
I only really read The Guardian.
偶尔会看《私♥家♥侦♥探♥》 不过看的时候也会分心
And occasionally Private Eye, but even then I'm off on a tangent.
我的思维很具有创意
I have got what I like to call a creative brain.
我会写诗
I write poetry.
你喜欢诗吗
Do you like poetry?
-嗯 -嗯 是的
Yeah. -Yes.
-喜欢吗 -嗯
Do you? -Yeah.
很多人说喜欢诗
'Cause a lot of people say they like poetry,
但其实意思是 喜欢鲁德亚德·吉卜林的诗
but what they actually mean is they like If by Rudyard Kipling,
他们觉得这就是高雅的艺术
and they think that is in some way high art.
就像有的人说会下…手肘
Like people who say they play... Elbows.
就像有的人说会下象棋
Like people who say they play chess
其实他们的意思是知道象棋的规则
when what they actually mean is they know how the pieces are allowed to move.
你喜欢象棋吗
Do you like chess?
-我不下象棋 -你不下 好的
I don't... don't play it. -You don't play it. There we are.
-但是你知道象棋的规则 对吧 -知道一些
But you know how the pieces move? -I know some of the pieces.
好的
There we are.
-知道一些 -什么
Some. -Pardon?
象棋里有小马
In chess, there's a horse. A little horse.
是马
There's a knight.
-还有猪 -卒
And a... a prawn? -A pawn.
我会下跳棋
I play draughts.
跳棋简单很多 对吧
Draughts is easier, isn't it?
跳棋是非常简单的游戏
Draughts is a very simple game.
来
There you go.
这算是每日五份餐中的一份
This is one of your five a day.
-等于是葡萄 -对 没错
Grapes. -Yeah, exactly.
-喝 -喝
Cheers. -Cheers.
啊哈
Ah.
-你还好吧 -你 挺好的 你呢
You all right? -Yeah, good. Are you all right?
我想问你一些事
Oh yeah, I wanted to ask you something.
-好的 -你完全可以拒绝 没问题
All right. -Feel free to say no. It's not a big deal.
我在想你能不能给我当伴郎
But I was wondering if you'd be my best man at the wedding.
操
Oh, fuck.
我适合当伴郎吗
Am I really the best man though?
-说实话 也只有你来当了 -嗯
You're the only man, to be honest. - Right.
好的
Okay.
我必须答应 对吧
I mean, I've gotta say yes, haven't I?
如果我还活着
If I'm still alive.
-你怎么还这么说话 -不是
You're not still talking like that? -No, I mean,
我吃喝过量 可能熬不到八月
I eat and drink too much. I might not make it till August.
好的 只要你是自然死亡 那就没问题
Okay, as long as you die of natural causes, that's all right.
希望如此
That's what I'm hoping for now.
不见得为了不当伴郎去寻死
Rather than be a best man at a wedding, I choose death.
我受宠若惊啊 真♥他♥妈♥的
I mean, I'm flattered. Fucking hell.
我得保持清醒吗
Have I gotta stay sober?
在致辞之前最好要清醒
Maybe up until the speech.
那就在典礼开始之前致辞
Let's do the speech before the ceremony.
好吧
Right. Okay.
别说了 我们…
Knock it out. Let's do…
嗯
Um,
你教科学
do you teach science?
不是
Nope.
我从事文学学科教学 我教英语
I work in the arts side of teaching. I teach English.
-语言及文学 -噢 好的
Language and lit, together at last. -Oh, good.
-我喜欢星座 -什么
Um, I like horoscopes and that. -Pardon me?
我喜欢星…
I like horo
-星座 -嗯
Horoscopes? -Yeah.
-你呢 -我喜不喜欢星座
Do you? -Do I like horoscopes?
-嗯 -当然不喜欢
Yeah. -No. Of course not.
哗众取宠 废话连篇
Claptrap, twaddle.
一厢情愿
Wishful thinking
是轻信者和绝望者的最爱
for the gullible and the desperate.
无意冒犯
No offense.
坐直了
Sit up.
收肩 手肘永远不要放到桌上
Shoulders back. Elbows off the table, always.
-你期待吗婚后的生活 -肯定啊
You looking forward to it? Married life? -Definitely.
嗯 没错 以后不能出去玩了
Yeah. Yeah. Sure, I'm giving up playing the field,
但是利大于弊
but the, uh, pros outweigh the cons.
好的
Good.
比如我以前会整晚坐着看电视吃东西
For example, I used to sit up all night watching telly, eating.
现在我还是会这样
Now I still do that,
但我不需要再起来弄吃的了 她会拿给我
but I don't have to get up to get food anymore. She brings it to me.
-非常好 -不过得看一些女人的电视
Brilliant. -Have to watch a bit of girly telly.
比如呢
Like what?
《王冠》《伦敦生活》 《大英烤焗大赛》