分居（2025）

'Cause you're my queen,
而你永远拥有我的一片心
and you'll always have a slice of my heart.
然后我打算...
And then I was gonna...
我以为你不表演魔术
I thought you don't do magic.
是啊 我当然表演魔术
Yeah, of course I do magic.
然后我打算做这个
Then I was gonna do this.
黑桃国王
King of spades,
因为我是你的国王 而且我被"阉♥割♥"了
because I'm your king, and I got spayed.
然后我打算拿出这根绳子
And then I was gonna take out this rope.
我被结扎了
I got snipped.
但是现在...
But now...
我没有了
I'm not.
我不明白
I don't get it.
我为了你 做了输精管复通手术
I got my vasectomy reversed for you.
这他妈太疯狂了 去他的
That's fucking crazy. Fuck it.
- 这不疯狂 - 我不需要那个
- It's not crazy. - I don't need that.
凯里 看着我
Carey, look at me.
我不完美 - 天啊！
I'm not perfect. - God!
但生活也不完美 对吧？
But life's not perfect, right?
我们必须掌控自己的生活
We have to take charge,
我们是自己命运的主人
and we are the masters of our own destiny.
- 我完全同意 朱莉？- 不
- I completely agree. Julie? - No.
- 我爱你 - 不
- I love you. - No.
我很抱歉我不得不经历这整个旅程
And I'm sorry that I had to go on this whole journey
才意识到那个人是你
to realize that it's you.
是你 我想和你组建家庭
It's you who I want to start a family with.
我现在有家庭了
I have a family now.
- 你没有 - 我有个孩子...
- You don't. - I have a kid...
- 你敢说 - ...我是他的舅舅
- Don't you dare. - ...I'm an uncle to.
哦我的天！这永远不会结束
Oh my God! This is never gonna end.
会永远这样下去 没完没了
It'll be like this forever and ever.
这简直是他妈的垃圾场大火
This is such a fucking dumpster fire.
着火了！
Fire!
拉斯 让开！快动！
Russ, get out of the way! Move!
哦！
Oh!
爸爸 你着火了！
Dad, you're on fire!
哦 糟了！哦！哦 糟了！哦！
Oh, shit! Oh! oh, shit! Oh!
让开 让开 让开！
Move, move, move!
哦我的天！
Oh my God!
坐下 坐
Sit down. Sit.
你没事吧？
Are you OK?
啊！我想没事
Ah! I think so.
- 操 你的眉毛 - 凯里 打911！
- Fuck, your eyebrows. - Carey, call 911!
- 杰克逊 打911！- 对不起 爸爸 我点了蛋糕
- Jackson, call 911! - Sorry, Dad. I did the cake.
号♥码是多少？
What's the number?
- 嘿！- 嘿！
- Hey! - Hey!
他怎么样？
How is he?
很好 他在睡觉
Good. He's sleeping.
我真为你高兴
I'm really happy for you.
谢谢
Thanks.
嘿！我带了Zuka Giri寿司
Hey! I brought Zuka Giri.
哦 他们不允许外带食物
Oh, they don't allow outside food.
我知道 他们给你喂毒药
I know, they feed you poison
还奇怪为什么每个人都生病
and they wonder why everyone's sick.
嘿 藏在你背心里
Hey, hide that under your vest.
来吧 快点 藏好
Let's go, come on. Keep it hidden.
她创造了一个人类
She created a human.
我至少能做的是
The least I could do
带个七八磅寿司来 你知道吗？
is bring 7 to 8 pounds of sushi, you know?
你想要什么？手还是嘴？
What do you want? Hand or mouth?
你要手？
You want hand?
手！
Hand!
我觉得他能读懂我的心思
I feel like he can read my mind.
你能读懂妈妈的心思吗？
You can read Mama's mind?
是还是不是？
Sí o no?
诀窍是在这里放足够多的金粉
The trick is to just put a good amount in here
这样当你把碎片拼合时
so that when you put the pieces together,
金粉会从裂缝中渗出来
the gold kind of spills through the cracks.
这上面的纹路真美
The patterns on this are incredible.
我知道 我热爱金继
I know. I love kintsugi.
这样真好 只是在这里 存在着
This is really nice, just being here and existing.
嘿！你好吗？
Hey! How you going?
很好
Good.
是啊 很好
Yeah, good.
很好
Good.
- 是啊 - 很好
- Yeah. - Good.
嘿 你觉得他们在调情吗？
Hey, you think they're flirting?
- 谁在乎？- 我在乎
- Who cares? - I do.
嘿 - 嘿
Hey. - Hey.
我们上过床了
We slept together.
谁？
Who?
朱莉和我 今年第二次
Julie and I. Second time this year.
- 恭喜 - 谢谢
- Congratulations. - Thanks.
她经历过的最棒的性♥爱♥ 她说的 不是我
Best sex she's ever had. Her words, not mine.
那听起来不像她说的话
Those don't sound like her words.
嗯 你知道 不是口头说出来的话
Well, you know, not like vocal words,
但她的眼睛...
but her eyes...
你们复合了吗？
Are you guys back together?
没有
No.
他只是总在我身边
He's just always around.
他喜欢追着我
He likes chasing me.
这算是我们的特色吧
It's kind of our thing.
嗯
Mmm.
这东西怎么用？
How does this thing work?
好吧 好消息 跟通信公♥司♥谈过了
OK, so good news. Spoke with Spectrum.
周四之前网络就能接通了
The Internet will be up and running by Thursday.
这算什么好消息？我们那时已经走了
How is that good news? We're gone by then.
嗯 总的来说是好消息
Well, it's good news in general.
是我想完成的一件事
It's something I wanted done.
现在完成了 我们就在这里了
Now it's done, and here we are.
声音真大 哇！
That's so loud. Wow!
这地方不错 想过卖♥♥掉吗？
This is a nice place. Ever think about selling?
是啊 绝对不想 完全不想
Yeah, definitely not. At all.
我从银行那儿几乎没花钱就弄到手了
I got it for nothing from the bank.
预约已经排到几个月后了
It's booked for months in advance.
我甚至什么都不用做
I don't even need to do anything.
你得做点什么 这是天然木材外墙
You have to do something. It's natural wood siding.
你得处理一下 否则会木材腐烂
You have to treat it or you'll get wood rot.
嗯 谁会注意到那个 永远？
Well, who's going to notice that, ever?
脚从咖啡桌上拿开 拜托 谢谢 伙计
Get your feet off the coffee table, please. Thanks, bud.
这混♥蛋♥家伙
This fucking guy.
他为什么还在这儿？
Why is he still here?
他说他是"超级房♥东"
Says he's a Superhost.
那是什么 像爱彼迎的贫民窟房♥东？
What is that, like, an Airbnb slumlord?
好了 有用了
There we go. It's working.
那么他是你舅舅？
So he's your uncle?
嗯 他曾经是我的体育老师 然后算是我的继父
Well, he was my gym teacher, then sort of my stepdad,
现在他又只是我的舅舅了
and now he's just my uncle again.
我们没有血缘关系
We're not related.
酷 而且他们现在都还是朋友？
Cool. And they're all still friends?
最好的朋友
Best friends.
我把阿图罗哄睡了
I got Arturo to sleep.
哦 太好了！
Oh, good!
这孩子喜欢音乐
Kid loves music.
你需要什么吗？
You need anything?
嗯 你知道吗？
Um, you know what?
我要一杯意式浓缩咖啡
I'll have an espresso.
哦 我也要 拜托！
Oh, me too, please!
好的！明白！
Yes! Gotcha!
谢谢你
Thank you.
他很喜欢当爸爸