付出与收获

I kept it real with them little motherfuckers
他们也真诚待我
and they kept it real with me.
这是第315下，并臂握紧
That's 315, close grip.
好的，利用长凳可以锻炼你的胸大肌
All right, benching builds your pecs.
这帮人里没有同性恋，是吧？
We got no homos in this gang, right?
好的，如果你们喜欢女孩的话
All right, good. And if you bachelors like girls,
得听我劳恩的
listen to the Lawn Dawg.
酷毙的胸肌，泡妞的利器
No hottie can resist dope pecs.
你们想跟我一起 坐上我的小狗Luv号♥游艇
You want to chase tail with me in South Beach
去南海岸玩么？
on my Puppy Luv? Huh?
还是想在家照镜子看自己的蛋上
Or do you want to look at your little nuts in the mirror
长没长毛？
and see if you got any peach fuzz?
好的，好极了
All right, good.
喔！
Wow!
嘿，兄弟，喜欢么？
Hey, guys. You like it?
是的
Yeah.
哦，我爱死个房♥子了！
Oh, I love the sexy casa!
你们喜欢那样的么？
You guys like that?
你们喜欢那个俄♥罗♥斯♥小妞么？
You like that fine Russian pussy?
其实是我的妞
That was mine.
我送给他了，无所谓！
I gave it to him. Like nothing.
生活，就要奔放点
Now if we're gonna roll, we're gonna chase tail,
像我一样，好么？
we got to do it my way, okay?
这儿可没泡菜给你们舔 赶紧动起来．
No pickle-licking around here. Let's go.
这儿的会议结束了． 别忘了
Break it off. Remind your folks
社区联防的事儿 好么？
about Neighborhood Watch, okay?
你，你，你还有你，都慢跑回家
You, you, you and you, jog it home.
- 嘿，大个子 - 嘿，哥们
- All right, big man. - All right, brother.
买♥♥个保时捷吧，宝贝
Let's race the Porsche, baby.
- 好的 - 来吧，钱有的是
- Let's do it. - Come on. It's money.
还有涡轮增压！
You get the Turbo.
这个叫艾德里安．道波的，他用现金支付的？
And this Adrian Doorbal, he paid in cash?
是的，十万
Yes. 100,000.
- 现金？ - 现金
- Cash? - Cash.
- 你倒是不觉得奇怪 - 是的
- This didn't surprise you. - No.
我觉得他可能是搞体育的，或是饶舌歌♥手什么的
I thought maybe he was in sports, rap.
你看，他是个黑人
You know, he is black.
是的
Yeah.
你难道不觉得奇怪么？
Well, you don't think it was strange
克肖先生都没来和大家道个别？
that Mr. Kershaw never said goodbye?
他个流氓，总拿别人的身材开玩笑
He was a dick. Always making fat jokes.
有一个他跟我说，要是我能少吃点零食
One time he told me if I can cut out snacking,
就能解决世界的饥荒问题了
that they can cure world hunger.
是的，他就是个这样的家伙
Yeah, he can be kind of rude that way.
这位新来的老板 你觉得怎么样？
What do you think of the new guy?
棒极了． 他说我是个实干家
Awesome. He says I'm a do-er.
社区联防就要启动了
Our Neighborhood Watch is about to start.
能允许我说两句么？
Can I get everybody's attention?
要一个么？ 看起来多可爱
Would you like one? Those are so cute.
长得像可以吃的小阴♥茎♥
They're like little edible penises.
我真希望脱衣舞俱乐部也提供这个． 都是由上好玉米做的
I wish they had them in the strip club. They're great niblets.
真好吃
This is delicious.
而且制♥作♥简单，从冰箱里拿出来，微波一下就可以吃了
And so easy, from freezer to microwave to mouth.
斯坦
Stan.
好的，邻居们，请往前看
Okay. Eyes front, neighbors.
我们都愿意相信
Now, we'd all like to believe
我们的老卡特勒湾社区 是安全的
we're safe here in Old Cutler Cove Estates.
我相信，我从未感觉到这么安全和舒适过
I know I feel more snug and secure than I've ever.
大家也热烈欢迎我
And I feel very welcomed,
对此我深表感谢！ 好么？
and I want to thank you all for that. Okay?
但是，情况并不乐观
But this is a very serious situation.
对吧？ 街面上有很多坏蛋
Okay? There are bad guys out there
等着像我们这样的好人们放松警惕
that are waiting for good people like us to drop our guard.
坏蛋无处不在
Bad guys are everywhere.
我知道这些，我现在为政♥府♥工作
I should know, okay. I work for the government.
我进过监狱
And I've been to prison.
糟透了！
And it sucks!
今天，社区联防的首次会议
At this first meeting of the Neighborhood Watch,
我，彼得，迪克会展示一些
Peter, Dick and I will demonstrate
我们可以保护自己的方法
a few ways we can keep ourselves safe.
- 我的朋友，迪克 - 在
- My pal, Dick... - Yeah.
他也和我一起给政♥府♥干活
...who works with me at the government,
下面他们给大家发应急包
will now hand out your preparedness packs.
对
Right.
我们要给大家发应急包
That means we have to hand out the preparedness packs,
- 谢谢 - 好，马上
- thank you. - Yeah. Right away.
在我们心底的美国梦里
In our own corner of the American dream,
我们要居安思危
safety requires vigilance.
好的，看这里的图表
Okay, look at our chart here.
第一项，警觉意味着安全
Number one thing, vigilance equals safety.
第二，发现…
-- Number two, recognizing...
哦，宝贝． 那才是第一项．
Oh, baby. That's the one. Yeah.
好吧，第一，即使发现潜在的威胁
Okay. First thing, recognizing a potential attacker.
抱歉，东西在这儿呢
Sorry about that. There it is.
皮特？
Peter?
应急包
- Safety pack.
每家一包
Each family gets a pack.
每包里面有一个防狼喷雾和一把电击枪
Each pack has pepper spray and a taser.
女士们，这些很管用
Ladies, these things work.
一下就可以把坏蛋制♥服♥
You can zap a guy's balls off with one hit, all right.
好的． 可爱的索丽娜...
Okay! The lovely Sorina here...
- 嗒哒！ - 将扮演受害者
- Ta-da! -...Is going to be the victim.
谁愿意扮演那个强♥奸♥犯？
Who wants to volunteer to be a rapist?
哦，我来
Oh, sure.
这！
Right here!
我． 选我
Me. Pick me.
能选我么？ 能选我么？
Can you pick me? Can you pick me?
哥们，一个人就够了． 这又不是轮♥奸♥，好么？
We're only picking one, guys. This is not a gang rape, okay.
你请坐． 有请 布拉德
You sit down. We'll take Brad.
耶
Yes!
我最喜欢的邻居
My favorite neighbor.
他选了我，他选了我
He picked me, he picked me.
嗨，我叫布拉德
Hi, I'm Brad.
你敢碰她一下，我就把你给做了！
You touch her, I'll fuck you up!
- 嘿！ - 认识你很高兴
- Hey! - It was nice meeting you.
迪克
Dick.
这就是个模拟，好么？ 别太在意
This is only a simulation, okay? Cairn it down.
在这种情况下我就这么做
Well, that's what I'd do in this situation.
我要揍他！
I'll fuck him up!
保罗，现在
Paul, now.
亲爱的，我必须得抓她的屁♥股♥一下． 我演“强♥奸♥犯”啊！
Honey, I had to grab her ass. Look, I was the rapist!
- 你就是个色鬼 - 这只是表演
- You're a perv. - It was role playing.
你小子在干嘛？
What the hell are you doing?
什么？
What?
什么？ 你看起来一团糟啊
"What?" You look like shit.
我觉得我很好啊
I feel like I look great.
现在正是关键时刻，保罗，好么？
This is a critical time, Paul. Okay?
我们可不能搞砸了
We cannot afford to mess this up.
我同意． 根本不需要搞这些假架式
I agree. You don't need all this Kumbaya shit.
什么？ 我正在融入这里，好么？
Excuse me? I blended in, okay?
现在我是这个社区里的重要人物
I'm an influential member of this community now.
赢得地位，有所作为
Have some respect and act accordingly.
保罗？
Paul?
宾馆说你得付47000美金的账单
The hotel wants you to pay your $47,000 bill
要不他们就把我们赶出去
or they're kicking us out.
啊，亲爱的？
Yeah, honey?
你在做什么？
What are you doing?
我在祈祷
I'm praying.
好吧
Well,
你最好祈祷出500块钱
you should pray for $500
好给我的鞋柜添一双