圣诞快乐，泰德·库珀（2025）

You guys are like family.
嘿 嘿 你们在干嘛
Hey, hey. What's going on here?
翻过来
Flip that back over.
这是什么
What is this?
大家都在打赌
Everyone's taking bets on
what's gonna happen
你今年圣诞节会遇到什么事
to you this Christmas.
什么
What?
你们太黑暗了 伙计们
This is dark, guys.
拜托 被驯鹿角刺穿
Come on! Impaled by
a reindeer antler?
什么 谁下的这个赌注
What? Who took that bet?
贾尼斯吗
Janice?
肯给了我五百比一的赔率
Ken gave me 500 to one.
这么好的赔率我可不能错过
I couldn't pass up
those sweet, sweet odds.
还有 伙计们 说真的
Also, guys, seriously,
why is me kissing
我亲吻美女的概率
a beautiful woman
less likely than getting
怎么会比被驯鹿角刺穿还低
impaled by a reindeer?
有 51 个人赌我会被水果蛋糕噎到
51 people are rooting
for me to choke on a chunk of fruitcake.
你们这些小丑 笑死我了 我根本不喜欢水果蛋糕
Joke's on you clowns.
I don't like fruitcake.
还有 赌我进监狱一点都不好笑
Also, not funny to root
for me going to jail.
我在监狱里肯定活不下去
I would do horribly in jail.
知道吗 其实这些都无所谓
You know what, none
of this matters anyways.
因为今年
Because this year?
今年就是老泰德・库珀的圣诞坏运气
This is the year that old
Ted Cooper's Christmas bad luck
终于逆转的一年
finally turns around.
伙计们 你们要输大钱了
Losing a lot of money, folks.
你闻起来真香
You smell great.
我知道
I know.
什么
What?
哦
Oh...
♪ 你准备好迎接假期了吗 ♪
♪ Are you ready
for the holidays ♪
♪ 你准备好了吗 ♪
♪ Are you ready
♪ 你准备好了吗 ♪
♪ Are you ready
♪ 你准备好疯狂了吗 ♪
♪ Are you ready
♪ to be insane ♪
♪ 你准备好... 疯狂了吗 ♪
♪ Are you ready...
♪ to be insane ♪
弟弟
Baby brother!
嘿
Hey!
哦
Oh...
嗨
Hi!
我已经等了你半小时了
I have been waiting
for half an hour.
我们能走了吗
Can we go?
当然 我们去哪
Absolutely. Where are
we going?
去睡觉
Going to sleep.
回家 不是这个顺序
Going home.
Not in that order.
什么 凯特 别啊 太无聊了
What? Kate, no.
That's boring.
我刚到镇上 我们去喝一杯吧
I just got into town.
Let's go have a drink.
泰德... - 凯特
Ted...
Kate.
凯特
Kate...
好吧 我们可以喝一杯
Fine... we can have one drink.
一小杯
A small one.
或许来一杯节日特调 shots
Maybe a festive shot.
Shots 我喜欢你的想法
Shots. I love where
your head's at.
一杯 shot! - 好多杯 shot
Shot!
So many shots.
一杯
Singular.
我的行李牌呢
Where is my tag?
楼上有干净的毛巾和全新的牙刷
There are fresh towels and
a brand new toothbrush upstairs,
我知道你总是忘记所有东西
because I know you always
forget... everything.
你太了解我了
You know me so well.
好了 你的行李箱在桌子上
Okay, your suitcase
is on my table.
等一下 有点不对劲
Just give me a second.
Something's not right.
哎呀
Yikes.
我肯定和公交车上那个女孩
I must've had the same
kind of suitcase
用的是同一款行李箱
as that girl on the bus.
你每年圣诞节都这么多事
Should I be worried about
you covering the fundraiser
我真该担心你能不能顺利报道筹款活动
with everything that happens
to you every Christmas?
什么 不 这不是挫折
What? No. This...
this isn't a setback.
这是尝试新造型的机会
This is an opportunity
to try out some new looks.
我是说 哇
I mean... oof!
拜托 糖 怎么了
Come on. Sugar? What?
这些或许真的合身 - 哇
These might actually fit.
Wow.
早上好
Good morning.
嘿
Hey.
哇 这件毛衣好粉啊
Wow, that is a very
pink sweater.
那个女孩品味不错 对吧
That girl had good taste, right?
嗯嗯
Mm-hmm.
你怎么起来了
What are you doing up?
我在给我们做早餐
I am making us breakfast.
你什么时候开始给我们做早餐了
Since when do you
make us breakfast?
我整个童年都是你给我做早餐
You made me breakfast
my entire childhood.
我至少偶尔给你做个煎蛋卷
The literal least
I can do is make you
也是应该的
the occasional omelet.
哇哦
Aww.
你今天要去购物 对吧
Uh, you're gonna go
shopping today, right?
因为你今晚就要录第一个宣传片了 而且
Because your first promo
is tonight, and, um...
我不确定 这个风格
I'm not sure that, uh,
that's the vibe.
你先尝尝这个煎蛋卷 我再去
I am not going anywhere
until you try that omelet.
好吧
Okay.
嗯！- 怎么样
Mmm!
Eh?
蓬松又美味
Fluffy and delicious.
是啊
Yeah.
秘诀就是爱
The secret ingredient is love.
嘿 我发现这房♥子上
Hey, I couldn't help
but notice the alarming lack
居然没挂圣诞彩灯 太奇怪了
of Christmas lights
on the house.
是啊 我最近太忙了
Yeah, I've been really busy.
真的吗
Really?
这就怪了 你这三分钟里
That's strange...
you haven't mentioned that...
都没提过这事
in the last three minutes.
你穿的是粉色短款毛衣
You're wearing a pink
cropped sweater.
是啊
Yeah.
别动 乖箱子
Stay... good box.
不
No!
别动
Stay.
别动
Stay.
这样才对
There you go.
嗨 泰德 我是 WDTB 电视台的马克斯
Hi, Ted.
This is Max at WDTB,
来跟进一下我们的工作邀约
checking in on our job offer.
给我们回个电♥话♥ 不急
Give us a call, and no rush.
圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas.
哦啊
Ooh-ahh!