圣诞快乐，泰德·库珀（2025）

谢谢 泰德
Thank you... Ted.
这些本地烘焙师正试图创下
And these local bakers are
trying to set a state record
纽约州史上最大姜饼人的纪录
for the largest gingerbread man
in New York history.
为什么不冲击世界纪录呢
And why not a world record?
因为世界纪录的姜饼人超过 32 英尺高 肯
Well, because the world record
is over 32ft tall, Ken,
我们没那么多预算
and we don't have
the budget for that.
所以 快来这里
So, come on down
and help raise money
为当地儿童医院筹款吧
for the local
children's hospital.
就我而言 没有比这更美味的方式
I, for one, can't think of
a more delicious way
为公益事业筹款了
to raise money for a good cause.
你觉得呢
Can you?
从拉卡万纳现场发回报道
Reporting live from Lackawanna.
我是泰德・库珀
I'm Ted Cooper.
收工
And we're clear.
谢谢
Thank you.
太棒了 我爱你 但我也要杀了你
That was great, I love you.
I am going to kill you.
你去哪儿了
Where were you?
我是说 我很开心 但你昨晚没回家
I mean, I am very happy, but you
did not come home last night.
我想抱抱你 又想掐死你
And I want to hug you,
and I wanna strangle you.
我心情很复杂
I have conflicting feelings.
看得出来 呃 听着
Yeah, I see that.
Uh, listen...
我 呃 被困在密室逃脱里了
I, uh, I got stuck
in an escape room.
我说过了 现在没时间说 我爱你 回头聊
Like I said, I can't talk now.
I love you and we'll talk later.
那你今天剩下的时间有什么安排
So, what are you doing
with the rest of your day?
嗯
Um...
我要上班 得工作到 6 点
Well, I have a shift.
I've gotta work till 6:00.
唉 哎呀
Oof! Ouch.
那
Well...
等你下班我给你打电♥话♥ 然后
how about I call you
after you get off, and...
或许我们可以喝一杯 或者
maybe we can grab a drink, or...
再被困在当地另一个地方
get stuck in another
local establishment.
希望我们能这么幸运
Uh, we should be so lucky.
早上好 霍普
Good morning, Hope.
早上好 泰德
Good morning, Ted.
嘿
Hey.
嘿 看看谁回家了
Hey, look who's home.
钥匙 情圣 我还有事要办
Keys, lover boy.
I got places to be.
我要好好睡个冬日长觉
And I am going to take
a long winter's nap.
等等 提醒你一下 你还有一个宣传片要拍
Wait, quick reminder,
you have one more promo
今天下午 明天就是大型活动了
this afternoon before
the big event tomorrow.
好 我会打网约车去
Yes, I will take a ride-share.
好
Okay.
别在这之前又被关进监狱就行
Just don't get thrown in jail
between now and then.
不保证哦
No promises.
那 那是泰德 对吧
That... that's Ted, isn't it?
呃 我是说 是啊 我觉得是
Well, I mean...
Yeah. Thought so.
嗯
Yeah.
等等 你喜欢他
Wait, you like him.
我不记得上次这么开心是什么时候了
I can't remember the last time
I had this much fun.
有多少男生会在第一次约会带你来密室逃脱
How many guys would take you
to an escape room
呢
on our first date?
嗯
Hmm?
好吧 泰德・库珀 你这个调情高手
All right, Ted Cooper,
you smooth operator.
等等 你什么时候再见到他
Wait. When are you
seeing him again?
今晚
Tonight.
好吧
Well, okay.
那 我猜我和其他人的晚餐
Well, I guess dinner
with me and the others
就泡汤了
is out of the question.
祝你玩得开心 - 好
Have fun with your plans.
Okay.
♪ 用冬青枝装饰厅堂 ♪
♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪
♪ 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 ♪
♪ Fa la la la la,
la la la la ♪
♪ 这是欢乐的季节 ♪
♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly
♪ 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 ♪
♪ Fa la la la la,
la la la la ♪
♪ 穿上我们喜庆的服饰 ♪
♪ Don we now
our gay apparel ♪
你是埃德吗
You Ed?
据我所知是
Last I checked.
没想到是豪华轿车
Wasn't expecting a limo.
惊喜吧
Well, surprise, surprise.
是啊
Yeah.
我喜欢这里的氛围 伙计
I'm digging the vibe
in here, man.
我就追求这种五星级感觉
Five star vibes
are what I'm about.
埃德 把音乐再开大点儿
Crank those tunes back up, Ed.
好嘞 伙计
Right on, man!
♪ 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 ♪
♪ Fa la la la la,
la la la la. ♪
♪ 这是欢乐的季节 ♪
♪ 'Tis the season
to be jolly. ♪
♪ 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 ♪
♪ Fa la la la la,
la la la la. ♪
所以 明天
So, tomorrow,
if you have plans,
取消它们
cancel them.
如果要上班 就请病假
If you have work, call in sick.
如果有热辣的约会 对象
And if you have
a hot date, tell them
不是他们的问题 是我的问题
it's not them, it's you.
因为你要去拉卡万纳参加姜饼邀请赛
Because you'll be in Lackawanna
at the Gingerbread Invitational.
交给你了 肯
Back to you, Ken.
呃
Uh...
谢谢 泰德
Thanks... Ted.
有什么新鲜事吗 我没看到你身上有石膏
Anything new? Because I'm not
seeing any casts on body parts
没缺牙 也没有明显的生病症状
or missing teeth or any
apparent symptoms of illness.
我很担心
I'm worried.
一切都好吗
Is everything okay?
肯 我跟你说过
It's like I told you, Ken.
我的圣诞坏运气
It was only a matter of time
总会好转的
before my Christmas
bad luck turned around.
那不是糖霜
That's not frosting.
喂
Hello?
嗨
Hi.
嗯
Um...
抱歉 我 呃 找泰德
Sorry, I was, uh... looking
for Ted.
泰德 他和我在一起
Ted? He's with me.
我们要去圣诞狂欢派对
We're going to a Christmas rave.
是谁啊
Who's this?
呃 呃
Um... uh...
不重要
It doesn't matter.
泰德 你手♥机♥掉了
You dropped your phone, Ted.
我不叫泰德 我叫埃德
My name's not Ted, it's Ed.
那这是谁的手♥机♥
Then whose phone is this?
等等 是另一个女人接的
Wait, another
woman answered?
你是说泰德・库珀是个花♥花♥公♥子♥
You're telling me