更好的我（2024）

你可以实现你所有的幻想
you can live all your fantasies.
我想这就是所谓的幸运的混♥蛋♥
I think it's what's known as the 'lucky bastard'.
你知道恋爱意味着
Well, you know, being in a relationship means
我已经收起了我的骚气靴子
I've put away my shagging boots.
但我知道壁橱在哪里
But I know where the closet is.
[interviewer laughs]
♪ 和我跳舞吧，亲爱的 ♪
♪ Dance with me, honey ♪
♪ 就像长腿莎莉 ♪
♪ Like long tall Sally
你知道最棒的是
[Robbie on radio] You know the great thing is
我现在真的到了，因为回到 回到家
I've actually arrived now, because back... back at home,
我被选为年度最佳屁♥股♥
I've been voted the 'Rear of the Year'.
是吗，你要给我们看吗
[female reporter] Is that right? You gonna show us?
所以可以说你是票房♥冠军对吗
[male reporter] So it's fair to say you're box office, right?
我得到了我的白金唱片
[Robbie on TV] I've got me platinum disc
现在我得到了一张双白金唱片
and then I'm getting a double platinum disc now.
这意味着我很出名
It means I'm very famous. [laughs]
♪ 一二，呐呐呐 ♪
♪ One, two, na-na-na-na-na-na-na ♪
我们来找你了
[Robbie's inner voice] We are coming for you!
你不能写，你没有天赋，你什么都没有
You can't write. You haven't got 'it'. You've got nothing!
[Robbie screaming]
你♥他♥妈♥的死定了
[Robbie's inner voice] You are fucking dead!
[audience screaming]
[flash lights clicking] [people shouting]
让开让开
Move! Move!
点燃舞台
Light 'em up!
[cacophony of sounds]
[wheels screech]
[crowd cheering]
- 罗比 - 滚开你们所有人
- [woman] Robbie! - Fuck off, the lot of ya!
滚开
Fuck off!
[cacophony of sounds]
[retching]
♪ 呐呐呐 ♪
♪ Na-na-na-na-na
获奖者是罗比·威廉姆斯
[awards presenter] And the winner is... Robbie Williams.
- 罗比·威廉姆斯 - 是罗比·威廉姆斯
- [man] Robbie Williams! - [man] It's Robbie Williams!
获奖者是罗比·威廉姆斯
[man] And the winner is Robbie Williams!
- 罗比·威廉姆斯 - 罗比·威廉姆斯
- [man] Robbie Williams... - [woman] Robbie Williams!
美好夜晚的完美结局
[woman] A perfect end to a great night
罗比·威廉姆斯
for Robbie Williams.
[footsteps] [music pounds]
我相信你们都认识这个年轻人
[Peter] I'm sure you all recognise this young man,
但你知道他有个名人父亲吗
but did you know he had a famous father?
不
No!
如果你们这些可爱的女士想上来
[Peter] If any of you lovely ladies wanna come up
坐在圣诞老人的膝盖上
and sit on Santa's knee,
看看我裤裆里有什么给你
I'll see what I've got in my sack for you.
[Christmas carol playing]
罗伯
Rob?!
[cacophony of sounds]
[music playing]
呃
Brrrr.
点燃舞台
Light 'em up.
[deep breathing]
哇
Whoa!
♪ 你跳土豆泥舞 ♪
[Tom Jones] ♪ You got mashed potato
♪ 跳鳄鱼舞 ♪
[Robbie] ♪ Do the alligator
我们要剥了你的皮
[Robbie's inner voice] We're going to peel your skin off.
剖开你的喉咙
Slit your throat.
我们要杀了你
We are going to fucking murder you!
[Robbie screaming]
♪ 长腿莎莉 ♪
♪ Long tall Sally...
♪ 跳回小巷宝贝 ♪
[Tom Jones] ♪ Jump back in the alley, baby ♪
♪ 双手叉腰 ♪
♪ Put your hand on your hip ♪
♪ 哦，脊椎下滑 ♪
♪ Oh! Let your backbone slip
♪ 哦耶 ♪
[Tom Jones] ♪ Oh, yeah
♪ 哦 ♪
♪ Oh
♪ 耶 ♪
♪ Yeah!
[music continues] [crowd roaring]
你要去哪里
[Robbie's inner voice] Where are you going to run?
你♥他♥妈♥的要躲到哪里去
Where are you going to fucking hide?
你这个没用的小混♥蛋♥
You useless little prick!
你会孤独终老的，你这个婊♥子♥
You're going to die alone, you cunt!
你♥他♥妈♥的是可替代的
You're fucking replaceable!
你逃不掉的
You can't escape this!
[making monkey noises and hyperventilating]
[grunting]
哦是的，干得漂亮儿子
[Peter] Oh, yes, put it there, son. [laughs]
[music concludes] [crowd roaring]
太他妈棒了
[Peter] Fan-bloody-tastic!
- 听听震耳欲聋 - 罗比，罗比
- Listen to that. It's deafening. - [woman] Robbie! Robbie!
谢谢，我是孩子他爸
[Peter] Oh, thank you. I'm the dad.
教会了他一切
Taught him everything he knows.
彼得·康威
Peter Conway. [laughs]
你知道吗克里斯，入口和出口
You know what, Chris, entrances and exits.
没人再在乎那些东西了
No one cares about that stuff anymore.
但今晚你比汤姆·琼斯更出色，小伙子
But tonight, you outshone Tom Jones, lad! [laughs]
看看他，又是一天的工作
Oh, look at him. Just another day at the office.
这会让你大吃一惊的
Well, this is going to knock your socks off.
罗伯，罗伯
Rob! Rob!
猜猜明年夏天谁来内布沃斯演出
Guess who's playing Knebworth next summer?
[Peter chuckling]
内布沃斯，哈哈
Knebworth! Ha ha!
等我告诉伙计们
Wait till I tell the lads!
嘿，你有没有想过助唱嘉宾
Hey, have you thought about a support act?
我可以给你几个数字
Now, I could do you a couple of numbers.
最多四个
Four at most.
太不可思议了
It's incredible.
它还附带了一份新的唱片合约
[Briggs] It also comes with a new record deal.
太要命了
It's obscene!
耶嘿嘿
[Peter exclaiming] Yeah-heh-heh!
看看你，刀枪不入
我要喝一杯
看看这个，正是医生要求的
Look at this! Just what the doctor ordered.
好吧，我就不打扰你们庆祝了
[Briggs] Okay, I'll leave you to celebrate.
恭喜
Congratulations.
谢谢克里斯
Thanks, Chris.
内布沃斯
Knebworth.
感觉怎么样
How does it feel?
残废
[softly] Crippling.
会消失的
- It'll sink in. - [cork pops]
就像有人在为课后游戏选立场
It's like someone's picked sides for an after-school game
一切都变得非常非常不对劲
and it's all gone horribly, horribly wrong.
我是说
I mean, it's...
这是一对几千
It's one against thousands.
胡说，观众喜欢你
[Peter] Bollocks! The audience loves ya.
我做不到
[quietly] I can't do it.
我唱不了内布沃斯
I can't carry Knebworth. [pants]
我会像羔羊一样任人宰割，爸爸
I'll be like a lamb to the fucking slaughter, Dad.
- 只是怯场 - 你根本没在听
- It's just stage fright. - You're not listening!
不，这很正常好吗
- [Robbie bangs table] - [Peter] No. It's normal. Okay?
你知道什么一直在帮助我吗
You know what's always helped me?
一点酒精勇气
A little bit of Dutch courage.
难道我不知道吗
Don't I know it.
爸爸对不起，爸爸
Dad, I'm sorry. Dad!
没人会买♥♥票来听你的问题，孩子
No one buys a ticket to hear your problems, son.
你想知道为什么这些人是神吗
You wanna know why these people are gods?
因为他们能帮别人解决问题
'Cause they make other people's problems go away.
爸爸，爸爸别走，求你了
- Dad, Dad, stay. Please! - [door opens]
[inhales deeply]
[mobile phone ringing]
[phone continues ringing]
[screaming]
[phone continues ringing]
[grunts]
[snorts]
哇
- Whoa! - [audience cheering]
[sighs]
[giggling]
[audience cheering]
我的下一位嘉宾一直在攀登排行榜
[Parkinson] My next guest has been climbing the charts
- 征服世界 - 他来了
- and conquering the world. - Here he is!
准备好了吗，这是爸爸最好的朋友
Ready? Here's daddy's best mate.
女士们先生们，罗比·威廉姆斯
Ladies and gentlemen, Robbie Williams!
[audience applause and cheering]
Parkinson" theme music playing]
好吧这是
[Parkinson] Well, this has been
你的命运突然改变了不是吗
a sudden change in fortune for you, has it not?