if she was leaving the ticket,
而我没有真的说她会
which I have not actually said she will.
哦 我滴苍天 谢谢你停下来
Oh, fucking God, thank you for stopping.
你知道吗? 如果我之前还不知道
You know what? If I didn't already know
你工作做得有多烂 你刚刚也证明了这一点
how shitty you are at your job, you just proved it.
我有些重大的消息 女士
I have some very big news, ma'am.
哦 我有巨大的消息
Well, I have huge news.
事实上 我向你保证我的消息会是头版的那种
In fact, I guarantee you that my news is front-page news.
而你的大概是第六页(娱乐版)
Your news is probably more like a page six,
Kardashian的那种无聊消息 (娱乐家族卡戴珊)
Kardashian crap news.
总统知道这一切将如何结束
POTUS knows how this is all going to end,
所以他喝了我那一蓝色超大马克杯
so he drank the poisoned Kool-Aid
的毒Kool-Aid饮料
from my very big, blue mug.
哈? 两年后他不会竞选连任了
- Huh? - He isn't going to run again in two years.
你认真的?
Are you serious?
不 我是他妈的Joan Rivers(著名喜剧演员)
No, I'm Joan fucking Rivers.
我当然是认真的
Of course I'm serious.
一旦党内领袖发现他不会参选
Once the party leadership figures out he's not gonna run,
那么所有弹劾狗屁都会烟消云散
then all the impeachment bullshit is just gonna fade away.
那么 呃
So, um--
那么为什么他不来对我说? 为什么是你告诉我这个?
so why didn't he tell me this? Why are you telling me this?
因为他没法忍♥受那表情 像那个
Because he couldn't stomach the look-- like that,
就像那个 控制不住的喜悦
just like that-- of unbridled joy.
Ben 我在心底
Ben, I am crying
默默地哭泣
very quietly on the inside.
而在你的脑海里 你正在他的墓上跳舞旋转
While in your mind you're doing pirouettes on his grave.
哦 别告诉我你没有为此高兴
Oh, don't tell me you're not happy about this.
你终于能摆脱这里了
You're finally getting out of here.
哦 不是工作让人沮丧
Well, it's not the job that's depressing.
生活才让人沮丧
Life is depressing.
走吧
Let's go.
不 我可以 我能做到这个
No, I've got it. I can do this.
我没事
I'm fine.
耶!
Yes!
操! 天哪!
Fuck! Gosh!
Ahem.
你好 Sue
Hi, Sue.
因为一些紧急事件 我们想见副总统
We'd like to see the vice president as a matter of some urgency.
不行 操你的 我从偏门进
- No. - Fuck this, I'm going in the side door.
你那么做的话 特勤局特工可能会拧断你的脖子
You do and Secret Service might break your neck.
那就悲剧了 是么? 女士
- That would be a tragedy. - Yeah? Ma'am.
哦 你好 Roger 我们能谈谈吗?
- Oh, hi, Roger. - Can we talk?
我们当然能谈谈 嘿 能请你给我酸奶吗?
Of course we can talk. Hey, could I have my yogurt, please?
哦 这 别吃得太快
Oh, here. Don't eat it too fast.
哦 住嘴 大惊小怪的家伙
Oh, stop it, Nervous Nelly.
好了 给我来点流质的食品 加把勺子
All right, get me something sloppy with a spoon to eat.
你想来点酸奶吗? 不 谢谢
- Do you want some yogurt? - No, thanks.
你看起来不错 顺便说 哦 谢谢
- You look good, by the way. - Oh, thanks.
什么 你在锻炼还是什么?
What, are you working out or what?
是的 我用老的焦虑疗法消耗卡路里
Yeah, I'm burning calories with the old anxiety diet.
哦 你知道的 焦虑(anxiet-ease精油)
- Oh. - You know, the anxiet.
如果你想做有氧运动 你得先有心才行啊
If you want to get some cardio exercise, you have to have a heart.
我听说了一个很糟糕的谣言
I heard a pretty lousy rumor
说你两年后不会再和总统一起竞选了
that you're not running for reelection with POTUS in two years.
那很令人困扰 因为我有点需要
Oh. - And that would be disturbing
你再次以副总统的身份参选
because I kind of need you to run as VP again.
然后我进入参议院
And then I get in the Senate
然后你和我一起参选
and then you and I run together as a team.
记住 这是协议 是的 我记得那个
- Remember, that was the deal. - Yeah, I remember that.
你从哪听来的谣言?
Where did you hear this rumor?
哦 从小姜饼那
Oh, I heard it from the Gingerhead Man.
有小胡子的裂缝(嘴) Mclintock(同名电影主角)
The gash with the stash. McLintock.
什么 你在开玩笑?
What, are you kidding me?
Mike视信息为敌 忘了它吧
Mike sees knowledge as the enemy. Forget about that.
那么你两年后会和总统一起竞选?
Then you are running with the president in two years?
两年后我绝对会参选
I am absolutely running in two years.
那之后的四年 竞选连任 宝贝
And then four years after that, reelection, baby.
你说竞选连任是什么意思?
What do you mean reelection?
不是竞选连任 那个时候是竞选
Not reelection. Election at that time.
是的 没错 你和我竞选
Yep. right. - you And I election.
等等 但你刚刚为什么说竞选连任?
Wait. But why did you say reelection?
什么? 你说了竞选连任
What? - you said reelection.
那就意味着有什么其他的事情发生了
Which implies that perhaps something else is going on.
我指的是参选 你知道我说的是什么
I meant election. You know what I meant.
但你说了竞选连任 我指的是参选 好吗?
- But you said reelection. - I meant election, okay?
这就像说i易燃的和容易燃烧的
It's like saying flammable or inflammable.
都是一样的意思 我闻到了有猫腻的味道
- It's the same thing. - I smell a fucking rat.
哦 闭嘴 我也告诉你那是什么意思
- Oh, stop it. - I'll tell you what it is, too.
那就是这整个政♥府♥班子
It's this whole administration.
我会在这整个东西下面点把火
And I'm gonna light a fire under the whole thing.
然后我们就会找出是易燃的还是容易燃烧的了
Then we'll find out whether it's flammable or inflammable.
走 小器的基佬 走了
Come on, Wilbo Faggins, let's go.
好吧 我亲爱的副总统班子在哪?
Okay, where are my beautiful veeple people?
这有一个 我需要我的副总统班子
There's one. I need my veeple
来我的办公室 请
to come into my office, please.
嘿 J老爹来了 女士们兴奋起来吧
Hey, it's J-Diddy. Ladies get giddy.
Jonah 嘿 听着 帮我解决点事 好的
- Jonah. Hey, listen, settle something for me. - Okay.
你喜欢做♥爱♥和旅游?
You like to have sex and you like to travel?
是的 女士 那么你可以滚了
- Yes, ma'am. - Then you can fuck off.
但如果你需要我的话我就在这
But I shall be right here if you need me.
就像是象征着....的大橡树... 女士
Like the mighty oak that stands for-- ma'am.
我有话要说
I have something to say.
我完全不知道你要说什么
I've literally no idea what you're gonna say.
我不会离开 总统会离开
I'm not leaving. POTUS is leaving.
他不会竞选连任了
He's not gonna run for a second term.
我会参选 哦 天哪
- I'm gonna run. - Oh, my God!
我会竞选总统! 哦 耶!
- I'm gonna run for president! - Oh, yeah!
太棒了 我完全没想到啊
- That's awesome. - I did not see that coming.
Selina Meyer 她点燃了他们 砰!
Selina Meyer, she deals 'em fire. Bam!
砰! 我们这是要上天了!
Boom! Let's go to the fucking moon!
我之前离住在我的船上已经这么近了
I was this close to living on my boat.
哦 天哪 我只 恭喜 女士
- Oh, my God. I'm just-- - Congratulations, ma'am.
能让我
Can you give me
和我的核心队伍呆一会吗?
some time with my core team?
呃 Br Br
- Um, Br-- Br- - Ed.
当然
Bre-- Ed. - of course.
我觉得我好像错过了什么
I feel as though I may have missed something.
如果你们要跟我汇报...
If you need to fill me in on that--
嘿 里面什么事?
Hey, what happened in there?
他们庆祝的是…
They're celebrating
你不在里面
because you weren't in there.
齿轮已经在转动
Gears are already turning.
我在你的头上看到了一个灯泡 叮!
- I see a lightbulb above your head. - Bing!
好了 现在听着 所以...
Okay, now listen, so...
你们不需要找其他工作了
you guys don't need to take other jobs.
你们在这 和我一起
You're here with me.
呃 我已经接受了不少职位
Uh, I've accepted a number of posts.
你刚说了不少? 现在是四个
Did you say a number? - Currently four.
喔 你会拒掉他们的 对吧?
Wow. You're gonna cancel them, right?
哦 当然 是的 哦 是的
Oh, clearly. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
我对所有的都说了不 女士 我为您而存在
I've said no to everything, ma'am. I am here for you.
好 嘿 女士
- Good. - Hey, ma'am.
我也找了份工作
I took a job also.
我之前没说过你 Gary 我知道
- I didn't mean you, Gary. - I know.
什么工作?
What job?
我会去和Dana做生意
I'm going into business with Dana
我们会一起做D&G进口奶酪
and we're doing D&G Cheese Overseas.
奶酪? 是进口的
- Cheese? - And it's overseas.
等一会 你选择了过期牛奶而不是我?
Wait a minute. You're choosing dead milk over me?
不 别那么说 那不是事实
No, don't say that. That's not true.
哦 你只需要告诉她你不会那么做
Well, you're just gonna have to tell her you're not gonna do that.
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