副总统（2012）
Veep S02E07
Part 3
Oct. 12, 2020, 8:18 p.m.
你知道 Jim
You know, Jim,
你比我老很多
you're a lot older than me.
如果你在未来六年内死掉
If you die within the next six years,
我就会参加你的葬礼
I will be attending your funeral
然后在总统派我替他去的时候给你做悼词
and giving a eulogy when POTUS sends me there in his stead.
那里面会充斥着潜台词
And it is gonna be full of subtext.
塞满了潜台词
Chock-full of subtext.
好吧 我期待着 哦 等等 我那时已经死了
Well, I look forward to that. Oh, wait, I'll be dead.
说实在的 Sidney 我将暂时停职
Honestly, Sidney, I'm looking at being furloughed
看作一次机会 哦 没错
- as an opportunity. - Oh, yeah.
出去走走 四处活动 会见人物
Get out there, touch some bases, face some faces.
那么你是说你的事业正停滞不前
So what you're saying is your career has stalled.
所以现在你个懒逼
So now you and your slack pussy
想做石油说客挣大钱 对吗?
want to make big bucks as an oil lobbyist, right?
欢迎 先生们 你好
- Welcome, gentlemen. - Hello.
今天的特♥价♥是墨鱼...
Today's specials are the cuttlefish...
让我打断你一下 甜心
Let me stop you right there, sweetheart.
你会结账 对吧? 是的 我请
- You're gonna pick up the tab, right? - Yes, that's on me.
很好 我要最贵的前菜
Great. I'm gonna have the most expensive starter,
最贵的主菜 还有一瓶200美元的香槟
the most expensive entrance, and a $200 bottle of champagne.
是的 先生 你知道 我想我会来点清淡的
- Yes, sir. - You know, I think I'm gonna keep it light.
我要鸡肉沙拉和健怡可乐
I'm gonna go chicken salad and a Diet Coke.
胡说 给他来一份和我一样的
Nonsense. Give him exactly what I'm having.
我们会分享那瓶香槟
And we will split the champagne.
这是我们第一次约会
It's our first date.
(我的丈夫就离守林人小站15码远的地方被杀害)
My husband was killed 15 yards from a ranger's station.
这是最混乱的故事
This is the most fucked-up story.
我是说 被熊弄死了?
I mean, killed by a bear?
(因为停工 没有任何公园守林人值班)
No park rangers on site due to the shutdown.
而且还是只黑熊 这就是奇怪的地方 (黑熊体型较棕熊小 攻击性弱)
And a black bear. That's the weird part.
他们甚少袭击人类 这很奇怪
They rarely attack people. That's weird.
没错 那是我... 他肯定刺♥激♥了它
Right. That's what I was... then he must have goaded him.
他肯定拿棍子打了它或者做了些蠢事
He must have hit him with a stick or done something stupid.
嘲弄它或者强迫那只熊跳舞
Taunting him or forcing the bear to dance.
熊不喜欢跳舞 你要来跳个舞吗?
- Bears don't like to dance. - Would you dance, please?
在娱乐行业中没有快乐的熊 或者他试图干那只熊
- There's not a happy bear in show business. - Or he tried to fuck the bear.
他试图干... 就像Grizzly Adams (小说人物 驯熊人)
He tried to fuck... - Like Grizzly Adams.
哦 呀 自娱自乐?
- Oh, jeez. - Enjoying yourselves?
没错 你们在嘲笑
- We were. - Are you laughing
那个年轻男人残酷的死亡?
at the violent death of a young man?
没错 可以那么说 我以为你被暂时停职了 Kent
- Yeah, pretty much. - I thought you were on furlough, Kent.
我的降噪耳机忘在这了
Forgot my noise-cancelling headphones.
猜我刚刚听到了什么
Guess what I just heard.
我不在这 所以 我的耳朵也不在这
I'm not here. Ergo, my ears aren't here either.
好吧 总统的采访中有段引言
Okay. POTUS's quote
在马上要出版的《政客》里
in his soon-to-be-released Politico interview
他将政♥府♥停工归咎于我
in which he blames me for the government shutdown.
什么? 没错 什么?
What? - Exactly. What?
那很含蓄 含蓄?
- It was implicit. - Implicit?
含蓄得像在我屁♥股♥上贴个踢我贴纸
Implicit like a kick me sticker
那种会含蓄?
on my keister would be implicit?
副总统女士 恕我直言
Madam Vice President, greatest respect,
但一直以来副总统的工作就是
but it has been the job of the VP over the ages
为拯救总统而贡献出屁♥股♥
to take it in the ass to save the president.
没错 让我来告诉你
Yeah, let me tell you something.
这个屁♥股♥已经停止营业了
This ass is closed for business.
这个屁♥股♥正紧闭 我不想当诱饵
This ass is in clench-down. I don't want to be a decoy.
让总统把屁♥股♥贡献出来吧 他会喜欢的
Let the president take it in the ass. He might like it.
这些有权力的男人和女人们
These powerful men and women,
他们无法在任何事情上达成共识
they couldn't agree on anything.
你在玩我
You've got to be kidding me.
现在我因为某个蠢货
Now I'm to blame because some goober
被熊啃干净了而遭受指责?
got all eaten up by a bear?
你得把你的媒体人弄来搞定这个 懂吗?
You've got to get your press guys on this, okay?
是的 女士 女士 是在明尼苏达州 好吗?
- Yes, ma'am. - Ma'am, this is in Minnesota, right?
Chung州长会揪住这件事不放
So Governor Chung is gonna be all over this
就像盯住蠢货的熊 当然 没错
- like a bear on an idiot. - Of course. That's right.
至少 采取什么行动
At the very least, let's get in front of something
并且联♥系♥上这个寡妇
and get in touch with this widow.
是的 你听到了吗 Mike 呃 呃
- Yeah. Did you hear that, Mike? - Uh-uh.
熊寡妇 跟那个熊寡妇联络
The bear widow. Get in touch with the bear widow.
还有联络那些媒体人?
As well as get in touch with the press guys?
是的 还有那些媒体人
Yeah, as well as get in touch with the press guys.
两件事 打电♥话♥给《吉尼斯世界纪录》
Two things. Call the Guinness Book of World Records.
哦 不 不 别 别 因为那会是三件事
Oh, no, no, don't, don't, because that would be three things.
那么你真不打算吃那个龙虾?
So you're really not gonna eat that lobster?
哦 不 我讨厌龙虾
Oh, no, I hate lobster.
你知道的Dan 我们可以用你
You know, Dan, we could use you.
你觉得去内布拉斯加州
How do you feel about swindling
忽悠一群当地二♥逼♥们怎么样?
a bunch of sister fuckers out of their land in Nebraska?
我们想装 一条穿过他们地盘的输油管道
We're trying to skirt a pipeline through their backyard
而他们因为某些原因不同意
and they're not a fan for some reason.
你想摆脱一些农场主 嗯?
You want to get rid of some farm folk, huh?
就把我当成你的整装黑风暴吧 我的朋友 (造成30年代美国农业巨大损失的公害事件)
Consider me your well-groomed dust bowl, my friend.
嘿 哦 天哪 你让它抽了一下
Hey, ooh! Boy, you made it twitch.
不过如果你真想让我的老二跳起舞来的话
But if you really want to make my dick dance,
你为什么不告诉我副总统办公室里发生了什么?
why don't you tell me what's going on in the VP's office?
好吧 你知道的 我不能说得太仔细
Well, you know, I can't really be too specific.
当然 当然 不 我们可以...
Sure, sure. No, we can...
我们为什么不用一些代码呢?
why don't we come up with some kind of code?
这里 副总统是龙虾
Here, the VP will be the lobster.
Amy 绿色蔬菜 我们叫Mike胡萝卜
Amy, greens. We'll call Mike carrots.
Dan 你可以是虾
Dan, you can be shrimp.
你看到我做了什么吗 Dan? 我把你变成了虾
Do you see what I did there, Dan? I made you shrimp.
天 我真希望我点了一盘无用的混♥蛋♥
Boy, I just wish I ordered a plate of useless assholes.
但你手里有什么兵就只能用什么兵了 对吗? (前国防部长Rumsfeld名言)
But you go to war with the army you have, right?
好吧 我想这只龙虾
Okay, I think the lobster
和她的前夫又走到一起了
is getting back together with her ex-husband.
绿色蔬菜几乎没法控制局面
The greens are only barely keeping it together.
Mike... 胡萝卜债务缠身
Mike... the carrots are drowning in debt.
而这只小虾想听听更多关于内布拉斯加交易的事情
And this little shrimp wants to hear more about this Nebraska deal.
想去大玉米带对吧? (美国中部的大农业带)
Want to go to the corn belt, do you?
我想出击 我想为你一击必杀
I want to hit it. I want to hit it hard for you.
哦 敲敲你的红宝石鞋跟然后赶紧
Well, tap your ruby slippers together
他妈醒醒吧 没有工作 Dorothy (见《绿野仙踪》)
and wake the fuck up. There is no job, Dorothy.
但我很惊讶你可以出♥卖♥♥♥
But I'm very impressed that you would turn on
你在副总统办公室的所有伙伴
all of your compadres there in the vice president's office.
那么你为什么不带着你的 甜蜜惊悚小舞蹈去找Danny Chung呢?
So why don't you take your little vanilla Thriller dance over to Danny Chung?
他是目前肮脏政坛里炙手可热的无♥耻♥新星
He's the shiny turd rising to the top of the bowl right now.
你就喜欢无♥耻♥之徒 不是吗 Dan?
You like turds, don't you, Dan?
是的 不 不 不 不
Yeah. No, no, no, no.
那不是我真正的意思 你误解了 说实在的
That's really not what I meant. You misunderstood, honestly.
当我说失误 我是说那不是你丈夫的失误
When I said fault, I meant that it wasn't your husband's fault
因为熊天生就会饿
because bears are naturally hungry.
那样说你能接受吗
Does that make sense?
喂? 喂?
Hello? Hello?
哦 那是Doolittle夫人吗
Oh, was that Mrs. Doolittle?
是的 然后?
Yeah. - And?
非常情绪化 哦 当然
- Very emotional. - Well, of course.
没错
Yeah.
什么? 哦 苍天啊
What? Oh, Jesus.
好吧 Amy 我们会派Dan
All right, Amy, we're gonna have to get Dan
去明尼苏达 做些寡妇的工作
to go to Minnesota, do some widow work.
Dan在停职中 是 我他妈知道他在停职
- Dan's on furlough. - Yeah, I know he's fucking furloughed
因为是我他妈给他停的职
because I'm the fucker who furloughed him.
顺便问 Gary呢?
And by the way, where is Gary?
还在处理垃圾
He's still getting the garbage.
哦 好吧 如果他不能尽快回来
Well, okay, if he's not back soon,
我们要终止使Sue停职
we're gonna have to unenfurlough Sue.
Unenfur...
终止使... 我们得把Sue召回来 好吧
副总统（2012）
Veep
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