副总统（2012）
Veep S02E02
Part 1
Oct. 12, 2020, 8:17 p.m.
Andrew 你知道吗
Andrew, you know what?
我们没离婚的时候你就对我的成功不爽
You resented my success when we were married, okay?
但是现在这完全让你痛不欲生了
But now it is absolutely eating you raw.
你是他生命中最美好的事物 而他却离此而去
You were the best thing to ever happen to him and he threw it away.
对 你是我生命中...我是你生命中 最美好的事物
Yeah, you were the best thing-- I was the best thing
而你却离此而去
that ever happened to you and you just threw it away.
女士 如果你想跟Kent开 那个有关人♥质♥的会议 我们就该走了
Ma'am, we have to go now if you want to catch Kent for a hostages meeting.
好的 听着 我不会让你
Okay, listen, I will not have you
离间我和Catherine的
undermine me with Catherine.
你想要拿手包么? 我要
will you be wanting a clutch? - I will.
好的 我不要
Okay. - I will not.
噢 你不要么? 不 不 我要 我要包包
- Oh, you don't? - No, no, I will. I want the bag.
不 我要Catherine和我一起过感恩节
No, I want Catherine to spend Thanksgiving with me,
而不是随便一个男朋友
not some random boyfriend.
还有可怜的外婆怎么办 她最多可就能活到三月份
And what about poor Memaw, who's guaranteed to be dead by March?
如果运气好的话
With any luck.
好吧 恭喜你
Well, congratulations.
你成功的学会了怎么操控Catherine
You have successfully learned how to manipulate Catherine.
这怎么就侮辱到她了呢?
How is that insulting to her?
天哪 你这是完全颠倒黑白...好吧
God, you just turn it all around-- okay.
我挂了他的电♥话♥ 我们走么?
just hanging up on him. - Shall We go?
好的 我们走吧 包里有几片Advil(止疼药)
- Yeah, let's just get out. - There's some Advil in the bag.
我希望我们也有职业杀手的电♥话♥号♥码
Yeah, I hope we have a number for a contract killer, too.
我愿意干
I'll do it.
车不错啊 Mike 新车么?
Nice wheels, Mike. This new?
也不算新 就像你娘一样
Not quite. Like your mother,
曾经被不少人爱过 他们都为她付了钱
it's been previously loved and paid for by a couple of guys.
我猜这意味着你的债还清了 对吧?
I guess this means you cleared your debts, huh?
不 我只是多欠了点
No, I've added this to my debt.
噢 是那种一路喝到不再醉的老方法啊
Oh, the old drink your way out of alcoholism approach.
我喜欢 不 这跟我喝酒的事可不一样
- I like it. - No, this isn't like when I drank.
你以前酗过酒?
You had a drinking problem?
没有那么严重 只是有点小瘾 都不算是酒瘾
Not a problem. Uh, an issue.
都不算是酒瘾 就是有一段很爱喝
Not even an issue. A hitch.
你曾经很爱喝酒?
You had a drinking hitch?
Dan 我欠了十万块
Dan, I owe 100 grand.
我做什么也改变不了这件事
Nothing I can do will change that.
所以呢 我接受我不能改变的东西
So, I've accepted what I cannot change.
再多几千块也没什么所谓
A few extra grand doesn't matter.
你现在是醉了么?
Are you drunk right now?
早上好 Egan先生 你看没看那篇地域主义的文章?
Morning, Mr. Egan. Have you read the regionality paper?
没有 好吧
No. - Okay.
祝你今天愉快
Have a great day.
老有人对我这样 不 没有
- I get that all the time. - No, you don't.
但是我得
But I need to talk
跟那个狗♥娘♥养♥的自闭土鳖谈谈
to that autistic lumberjack son of a bitch.
噢 他在这呢 你好啊 Kent
Oh, there he is. Hi, Kent.
副总统女士 我听说你在练普拉提
- Madam Vice President. - Hey, I heard you were doing Pilates.
我都不知道你还有身板呢
I didn't know you had a core.
我有 而且可硬朗了呢
I do and it's like steel.
那我们现在是真的没有行动么?
So are we really not doing anything
对人♥质♥的事
about the hostages now?
一点都没么? 我们有行动
Nothing At all? - We are Doing something.
是么? 那我们在做什么? 什么都没有
Yeah? What are We doing? - Nothing.
除非有足够的票数支持干预
Until the numbers support intervention,
我们能做的最多也就是什么也不做
doing nothing is the most positive thing we can do.
真高兴和你谈话 Kent
You know, it's just so great talking to you, Kent.
我就喜欢接近无为的感觉
I love being close to the inaction.
今天下午的国♥家♥安♥全♥会议还是要开的 对吧?
The national security meeting this afternoon is still happening, right?
是的 4:30 人♥质♥事件以及向以色列出♥售♥
Yes, 4:30. Hostages and the SM-17 missile defense system sale
SM-17导弹防御系统两件事都会讨论
to Israel will both be discussed.
SM-17d 还有个小写的d
SM-17d. There's a lower case D.
对不起 先生 细节很重要
- Apologies, sir. - Details are important.
小数点放错一位数就能杀死一位糖尿病人 是的 先生
- A misplaced decimal point can kill a diabetic. - Yes, sir.
我很期待像我们协商的那样参加会议
I look forward to attending the meeting as per our deal.
总统会很希望你在场的 我也是
POTUS would love to have you there, as would I.
前提是你能按时赶回来
That's if you can possibly be back in time.
从哪赶回来? 对不起 我8:45有个会
- Back in time from what? - I'm sorry, I have an 8:45.
Ryan先生 是的 先生
- Mr. Ryan. - Yes, sir.
什么? 不 Kent? 呃 女士
- What? Kent? - Uh, ma'am.
什么? 你要去倾听乡音...
Yes? - The Listen to Rural America program
你在中期选举后答应总统说的
that you okayed with POTUS after the midterms is looking--
你知道吗 你能不能穿上跑鞋
You know what? Why don't you put on your running shoes
然后他妈赶紧给我跑到重点! Jonah
and get to the fucking point, Jonah?
今天北卡罗州的猪肉委员会有选猪比赛
The North Carolina Pork Board is having a pig picking today.
听起来很古典 Kate Middleton会去么? (英国王妃)
Sounds classy. Will Kate Middleton be there?
总统希望你能出席
POTUS would like to get you down there
用你的亲和力去大展美国嘿
and utilize your people skills to kick off U.S., Hey.
是就准备叫这个名字么? 是的
- That's what they're gonna call it? - Yeah.
谁想出来的狗屎名字啊?
Who came up with that incredibly shitty name?
正是在下 女士
That would be me, ma'am.
好吧 他们想让我去猪肉烧烤会上
Okay, so they want me to go to a pig roast
见一群可能会在烤猪之前
to meet a bunch of men who probably took turns
轮流干那头猪的人么?
to fuck the pig before they roasted it?
我觉得他们不会轮流的
I wouldn't presume they took turns.
我告诉你 我要参加4:30的那个会
Let me tell you something. I'm going to that 4:30 meeting
就算我要让Sue像超人那样
even if I have to get Sue to fly around the world
反着绕地球飞一圈让时间倒流
the wrong way like Superman and reverse time.
你明白吗? 是的 女士
- Do you understand that? - Yes, ma'am.
好的
Okay.
女士 我父亲的病情突然恶化了
Ma'am, my dad has taken a turn for the worse.
我想这个选猪比赛是个很好的机会...
I'm thinking this pig picking is a good opportunity--
噢 是的 你不用去了 去陪你♥爸♥吧
Oh, yeah, skip it. Skip it. Go to him.
我会给你带三明治还有六趾老公回来的
I'll bring you back a sandwich and a six-toed husband.
也许如果她换个机场着陆的话... Gary
Maybe if She landed At a different base-- - Gary.
这不是你的专长领域
This is not your area of expertise.
就是往日历上打字而已
It's just typing into a calendar.
对不起 Sue 你的工作非常有难度
I'm sorry, Sue. Your job is really difficult.
打扰一下? 你的工作非常有效率
excuse me? - you do It very efficiently.
Gary 谢天谢地啊
- Gary. - Oh, thank you, Jesus.
我们得走了 咱们得去跟乡巴佬们打成一片了
We got to go. We're gonna go mix with the hicks.
Furlong众议员打过电♥话♥来 他希望和您面谈
Congressman Furlong called and he'd like some face time.
好吧 我想一下 那我宁可在我的木耳上点一把火
Okay, well, let's see, I'd rather set fire to my vulva.
意思就是不干 他现在四处扮好人
- So that's a no. - He's in town trying to play nice
是为了明年左右要竞选参议员 不是吧?
for a possible Senate run in The next year or so. - Seriously?
Roger Furlong扮好人 就跟马龙白兰度演红发少女似的
Roger Furlong trying to play nice is like Brando trying to play Annie.
这个笑话不错 Mike
That's a good one, Mike.
谢谢 女士 等一下 女士
- Thanks, ma'am. - Wait. Ma'am?
我刚收到一条短♥信♥
I just got a message here. Something about a paper
说你女儿写的 一篇文章上了某个人的博客
that your daughter wrote that ended up on some guy's blog.
看吧 这就是为什么天朝要管理 大内网的原因 文章说什么了?
See, this is why China regulates their Internet. What does it say?
我不知道 电影研究课的论文什么的
I don't know. Some film studies course. A paper she wrote.
你知不知道我一年得付那家学校6万5?
Did you know that I'm paying 65 grand a year to that school?
他们应该是要往爆米花上洒金子才对的是吧?
They had better be putting gold on that popcorn instead of butter, right?
噢 女士! 怎么了? 噢 不要啊
- Oh, ma'am! - What? Oh, no.
我要走了 我要跟您一起去
- I'm out of here. - I'm coming with you.
什么? 总统希望我去监测美国嘿
What? - Potus wants me to monitor U.S. Hey
因为是我的宝贝项目 噢 我嘞个苍天啊
- as kind of my pet project. - Oh, for fuck's sakes.
这肯定是你第一个没有动用麻♥醉♥药♥
This must be the first pet project of yours
搞来的宝贝项目
that didn't involve resorting to chloroform.
是的 那都是以前的事了 Mike
Yeah, well, it's early days, Mike.
你能处理Catherine的事么?
Can you take care of this Catherine business?
我有地方要去 哪啊?
- I've got someplace I've got to be. - Where?
呃 我想我找到接近Kent Davison的办法了
Well, I think I might have found a way to get to Kent Davison.
如果你要杀了他娘然后穿她的皮的话 那严格来说可是犯法的哟
If you kill his mother and then dress in her skin, that's technically illegal.
严格来说
Technically.
副总统办公室现在正为
The veep's office is pumped
新外交政策摩拳擦掌呢 先生
about the new foreign policy portfolio, sir.
我刚看了一篇很有意思的文章
And I read this really interesting paper
说为什么地域主义是比国家主义
副总统（2012）
Veep
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