Thank you. Oh, Madam Prime Minister,
我还没向您介绍Gary Walsh
I don't believe I've had a chance to introduce you to Gary Walsh.
不 不 你还没有
No. No, you have not.
我是副总统的拎包人
I'm the VP's bag man,
那个我想在芬兰你们叫kassi
which I believe in Finland you say kassi.
抱歉? 我是个kassi
- Excuse me? - I'm a kassi.
你从哪知道的那个翻译?
Where did you get this translation from?
我在特区有个在使♥馆♥工作的芬兰朋友
I have a Finnish friend in DC who works at the embassy
在我来之前她教了我一些
and she gave me lessons before I came.
如你所知 kassi是包的意思
You see, kassi is bag,
但不是拎包人
but it's not bag man.
那是男人的袋子 你知道的 那个
It is a man bag. You know, rrr.
那是个容器
It is a container.
装睾丸的容器
It is a testicle container.
哦 不 别觉得羞耻 Gary
Oh, no. Don't feel ashamed, Gary.
因为 当然 你不是阴囊什么的
Because, of course, you're not a ball sack.
而且不是每个人能说自己不是...
And not everyone can say that they're not...
我很抱歉这么说…
excuse me, I'm so sorry...
阴囊
a ball sack.
甚至这张桌子上的每个人也不是都能说
Not even everyone at this very table.
Kent希望我把U盘里的地区总结加进去
Kent wants me to add these regional summaries
好了 你怎么加的?
from the thumb drive. All right, how do you add?
command键加A Alt加Break (苹果键盘)
Command A, hombre.
我还以为是ctrl a
I always thought it was control A.
好吧 成了 发送
Okay, here we go. Send.
我去 或许就是Ctrl A
Shit, maybe it was control A.
我想你大概选择了全部
I think you might have selected all
把那个U盘里的所有资料全发出去了
and sent everything that was on that thumb drive.
那是你告诉我的 不 我没有
- That's what you told me to do. - No, I didn't.
你说了command a 不 我说的是Ctrl a
- You said command A. - No, I said control A.
你只是没有听清楚 因为你没戴上助听器
You just couldn't hear me because you didn't have your ear trumpet.
我觉得我要把这个毁尸灭迹 我能烧掉这台电脑吗?
I feel like I want to burn this thing. Can I burn this computer?
你为什么要烧那个 Mike?
Why would you burn that, Mike?
Mike?抱歉
Mike? Excuse me.
怎么了?
What's up?
我们刚把Kent关于那个间谍的民调分♥析♥发了出去
We just sent out Kent's polling consultation on the spy.
什么间谍?
What spy?
人♥质♥中有一个是间谍
One of the hostages was a spy.
哦 去你♥妈♥的♥ Mike
Oh, fuck you, Mike.
你就是事业毒药 你知道吗?
You're career poison. Do you know that?
上帝啊 那就是你为什么喜欢玩帆船的原因 因为你♥他♥妈♥的就是个锚
Jesus, that's why you like sailing, because you're a fucking anchor
把有着光明前途的事业拖到他妈的海底
dragging promising careers down to the bottom of the fucking ocean.
停 这只是阶段一的东西
Stop it. This was just phase one stuff.
范例问题大概像是如果总统说了谎怎么办?这种
Sample questions like, What if the president lied?
但还不是那个 那个听起来很糟
But not that. That sounds bad.
更间接 但还是很糟
It was more coded, which still is bad.
没错
Yeah.
我是说 不管怎么样都已经出去了 对吧?
I mean, it would have gotten out anyway, right?
呃... 这是互联网时代
Um... - this is the Internet age.
没有秘密能够守住 是的 没错 而且这里是特区
- Nothing stays a secret. - Yeah, yeah, and it's DC.
这是特区 这儿的每个人都在谈论
It's DC. Everybody here talks.
是的 瞧 我们需要做的就是保持冷静
Yeah, look, all we got to do is stay calm.
我们只需要保持冷静 继续走 避开任何...
- We just got to stay calm. - Keep walking, avoid any...
这行不通 Mike 站住
It doesn't work like that. Mike, hold up.
如果你能明白我出问题的方式 你会懂的
If you'd see the way I framed the question, you'd understand that.
好吧 等你东山再起的时候把那个告诉Oprah (著名脱口秀主持人)
Well, tell that to Oprah when you mount your comeback.
我是说 你把它发给了我以及这楼里的所有人
I mean, you sent it to me and every second bozo in the building.
不 我没有 他妈的你当时在想什么?
- No, I didn't. - What the fuck were you thinking?
瞧 你还给它标上高度机密
Look, you marked it highly confidential,
所以确保了这东西会像病毒一样快速传播
thereby guaranteeing that this thing is gonna go viral.
啊 副总统被芬兰总理的丈夫猥亵了
Uh, the vice president was groped by the Finnish prime minister's husband.
什么?你为什么要告诉我那个?
What? Why are you telling me that?
那很奇怪 是的 那非常不幸
- That's just weird. - Yeah, that's really unfortunate.
是上面的双峰还是下面的山谷区?
Was that up in the hills or down in the valley?
先生 我刚才在想索伦之眼 您知道吧?
Sir, I was thinking the Eye of Sauron, you know?
让所有注意力集中到赫尔辛基…
Keep the focus on Helsinki.
帆船
Sailing.
哦 恭喜 Kent
Well, congratulations, Kent.
你刚刚把这任总统拖倒了
You just brought down this presidency.
好吧 赫尔辛基的天气...
Well, the weather here in Helsinki has been...
冷得可怕 但是...
hellishly cold.
Kent的民调数据被发送了出去
Kent's polling data got e-mailed.
总统的间谍谎言刚刚公开了
POTUS's spy lie just went public.
好吧 我们得起程了 走吧 史上最短的问答环节
Okay, we're pulling out. Let's go, shortest Q&A ever.
Dan歉歉 Dan歉歉
Danteeksi! Danteeksi!
伙计们 好吧 我们得跟天气作斗争
Guys, okay, we've got some weather to contend with,
所以我们只能回答三个问题
so we only have time for three questions.
您会收到我的问候的
You will be hearing from me.
是吗?是吗? 没错 没错
Yes? Yes? - Yes. Yes.
再见 再见 哦
- Good-bye. - Good-bye. Oh!
还有两个问题
Two more questions.
这次访问是为了签订协议还是那首歌♥?
Was the visit about the agreement or the song?
我们非常满意那份协议
We are very pleased about the agreement
而且我们也达成了一致
and we are agreed on that.
而且那实际上是两个问题 所以很抱歉我们得走了
And that was actually two questions, so I'm afraid we've got to go.
在我的国家 我们会杀了
Where I come from, we kill people
那些嘲笑我们的人
for looking at us funny.
我们会溺死那些没有干任何事的人
We waterboard folks who haven't even done anything.
你强♥暴♥了我的胸
And you raped my tit.
哦... 哦 是的 你那么干了
- Oh... - Oh, yeah, you did.
所以我不会放过你的
So I'm coming for you
因为我现在就是只愤怒的小鸟...
'cause I'm an Angry Bird right now...
而你是只猪
and you're a pig.
Selina! Selina! 谢谢
- Selina! Selina! - Thank you.
你打算为间谍的事情道歉吗?
Are you going to apologize for the spy?
总统知道其中一个人♥质♥是中情局的人吗?
Did the president know that one of the hostages was CIA?
你知道吗? 我和总统同一战线
did You know? - I stand with the President.
我和总统同一战线?
I stand with the president?
我为什么那么说?
Why did I say that?
我们可以假装你没说过吗?
Can we pretend you didn't say it?
人们会怎么想我?
What will people think I mean?
就是你和总统同一战线
That you stand with the president.
我是说 那句话没有什么含糊的意思
I mean, there's not a ton of ambiguity with that one.
好吧 谁会知道被性骚扰了
Well, who knew that being sexually assaulted
还不是我这一天最糟糕的经历 嗯?
wouldn't be the worst thing to happen in my day, huh?
这可以写到回忆录里
That's something for the memoirs.
我永远不会再回来这里
I am never going back there.
没错 Dan歉歉?
- Yeah. - Danteeksi?
对不起 我很抱歉我踏上了
I'm sorry. Sorry I ever set foot
那片他妈的吃鱼 拍独♥立♥片的地狱
in that fucking fish-eating, indie film fucking hellhole.
噢 算了吧 别叨叨了
Oh, come on. Get over it.
我告诉每个人我是阴囊
I told everybody I was a scrotum.
是的 你说了 是吧?
Yeah, you did, didn't you?
那还好 您听到了吗
- It's okay. - Did you hear that?
他不是 女士 你还好吗?
- He's not. - Ma'am, are you okay?
我不知道 我猜还好 当然
I don't know. I guess so. Sure.
不
No.
我是说
I mean, would it be so hard
难道让人们别当贱♥人♥就那么难?
for people not to be assholes?
我不会知道
I wouldn't know.
您为什么在咳嗽 女士?
Why are you coughing, ma'am?
因为我感冒了
Because I caught a cold.
哦 瞧 我刚知道那个英国记者是谁
Oh, look, I just found out who that British reporter is.
怪异的男人 他就像个他妈的吵闹的幽灵 真的
The creepy guy. He was like a noisy fucking ghost, really.
他叫什么?让我用谷歌♥搜索下
What's his name? I'll Google him.
Dave Wickford. - Dave Wickford.
哦 这里说他离了两次婚 没有孩子
Yeah, it says divorced twice, no kids.
57个推特追随者
57 Twitter followers.
对一个记者来说那点数量是个屁 没错
That's shit for a journalist. Yeah.
欧洲曾经是我最爱的大♥陆♥
Europe used to be my favorite continent.
现在它连前五都排不上
Now it's not even in my top five.
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