副总统（2012）

I really I love the roasted brussels sprouts
烤球芽甘蓝
that my mom and dad make.
是的
Yep.
好了 他们去休息了
Okay, well, they're taking a break,
这让我们有机会在这谈一谈
so this gives us a chance to come in here, have a little chat.
你从未告诉我你是素食者
You never told me that you were a vegetarian.
我三个月前就告诉你了 - 不 你没有 Catherine
I told you three months ago. No, you didn't, Catherine.
什么? - 现在她提到了 我想这听起来有些耳熟
What? Now that she mentions it, I think it does sound familiar.
完全是废话
It`s completely useless.
知道吗? 就因为他是个麻烦 不代表你也得是个麻烦
You know what? Just because he's a liability doesn't mean you have to be a liability, too.
我告诉你 你得吃鸡肉
Now I'm gonna tell you something. You're eating that chicken.
我不会做的 我是素食者 妈妈
I am not gonna do it. I'm a vegetarian, Mom.
你一生都在吞咽鸡肉
You swallowed chicken your entire life.
- 今天你得再这么做 - 我一辈子都在忍♥受(吞咽)你的破事
You're gonna do it again today. I swallowed your bullshit my entire life.
好了 瞧 小淑女 我们不对你妈那么说话
Okay, look, little lady, we don't talk to your mother like that.
好吧 我只是 去他妈的
All right, I'm just God damn it.
你能不能... - 是的 是的 是的
Could you Yes, yes, yes.
你知道你十二岁刚刚戒掉那个的时候?
You know when you're 12 and you just get rid of it?
不 你才那么干了
No. Speak for yourself.
如果在电视上她不知道你是素食者 你妈妈看起来会非常糟糕
It's gonna look really bad for your mom if she doesn't know that you're a vegetarian on TV.
我不会再为她的事业牺牲我的道德坚持了
I'm not gonna sacrifice my morals for her career anymore.
我做了 不是那么糟
I've done that. It's not that bad.
哦 你不觉得那鸡肉看起来很棒么 Catherine?
Well, doesn't that chicken look just amazing, Catherine?
它看起来很美味 - 耶
It looks delicious. Yeah.
我喜欢我爸做的
I love it when Dad cooks.
一个有隐藏才能的男人 - 我不爱吹嘘
A man of hidden talents. I don't like to brag.
反正吹的也不是做菜 唔 - 哦 宝贝 好了
Not about cooking, anyway. Okay, babe, here you go.
哇哦 - 吃光它
Wow. Eat that up.
我得和你重申一次 我们在所有的采访内容上都达成了一致
I just need to reiterate with you. We have agreed on all of these topics.
Andrew邮件的事情并不在内
And the Andrew e-mail story was not agreed.
甜心 这是新闻
Sweetheart, it's news.
好吗? 今天刚发生的 是新的 后面还接了个s (new加s)
Okay? It happened today. It's new with an S on it.
这就是新闻 - 恕我直言 这不是新闻
That's just what news is. With all due respect, this is not news.
你看到的是他妈的美食频道
This is the fucking Food Channel you got here.
好吧 哦 恕我直言 操♥你♥妈♥的
Okay, well, with all due respect, fuck you.
我是你心心念念的这个破政♥治♥节目
I own the edit on your shit-show politician that
我想怎么剪怎么剪 你个小妖怪
you connected yourself to, not me, you little gremlin.
对你而言 你乐意他们离婚吗 Catherine?
And has it been a happy divorce for you, Catherine?
唔 是的
Mmm, yeah.
我想知道我妈得24小时待命
I think knowing that my mom had to be available 24 hours a day
实实在在地教会了我别像个孩子一样要求太多 - 那是事实
really taught me not to be too demanding as a child. That's true.
所以你并不觉得在父母爱上有短缺 是吗 Catherine? - 没有
So you don't feel parentally shortchanged, then, do you, Catherine? No.
我实际上是个狂热的音乐爱好者 所以我试图用音乐概念来描述我的父母
I'm actually a big music fan, so I usually try to explain my parents in terms of music.
你知道的 音乐家们有时候组成乐队更好
You know, musicians sometimes are better in bands
有时候独唱为佳 - 有意思
or sometimes better solo. That's interesting.
比如说披头士 你知道 是乐队的时候更好 或者Michael Jackson 独唱更棒
They're like the Beatles, you know, better as a band or Michael Jackson, better solo.
虽然不是很好的家长 不可否认
Although not a great parent, admittedly.
哦 实际上 他对自己的孩子还不错
Well, actually, he did okay with his own kids.
当有其他孩子的时候就变得很怪了
It's when other kids got involved that it got real dicey.
但是 不 他有在很高的地方 将某一个孩子悬空(迈克杰克逊的著名事迹)
But, no, then he did dangle that one from a great height.
对吧 在栏杆外?
Right? Over that railing?
要是你在这个问题上惹毛了我
You know, you cross me on this
你将永远 永远别想让副总统再接受采访了
and you're never, ever gonna get the veep on camera again.
他妈的为什么 你为什么还在跟我说话 哼?
Why the fuck why are you still talking to me, huh?
如果你还想让别人贴近你 然后日点快乐气息到你身体里
If you'd just let someone get close enough to fuck some sunshine into you,
你最好闭上嘴!
you'd shut your mouth!
你...你... - 好了 好了
You you Okay, okay.
你根本一点也不了解我 你觉得我做的事情很简单?
You do not know anything about me. You think that this is easy, what I do?
没错 让一万个利益相关人士 用我现在对你吵吵的方式
Yeah, having 10,000 interests screaming in your fucking face
整天整天对着你♥他♥妈♥的脸吵吵怎么样?
the way that I am screaming in your face right now all day, every day?
我他妈的对这很拿手 - 我们能放个过滤器...
I am fucking good at this. Can we just put a filter-
你是吗? 这很棒? - 操你丫的脸 Gary
Are you? This is good? Fuck your face, Gary.
她对此很在行 伙计们 抱歉 - 操你丫的脸 你听到了?
She's good at this, you guys. Sorry. Fuck my face. You hear that?
古董窗子 降下来
Antique windows. Bring it down.
他妈的刚刚发生了什么? - 古董窗子 降下来
What the fuck just happened? Antique windows. Bring it down.
Amy 到这边来找回你的优雅 好吗
Amy, let's go find your dignity over here, okay?
让她滚出去 他妈的门外汉
Get her out of here. Fucking amateur.
好吧 好吧 - 嘿 别 别 别 别
All right. All right. Hey, no, no, no, no.
别 真的 - 不 喔 好吧
No, seriously No. Whoa, okay.
哦 听着 你得冷静下来
Okay, listen, you need to calm down.
至少我还关心这个事 你一整天都死气沉沉的
At least I am giving a shit. You are flatlining all day.
好吧 好吧 但是她今天有任何出彩的地方吗?
Okay, okay. But has she been impressive at all today?
瞧 我为她的表现做了张图表 好吗?
Look, I've graphed her performance, okay?
看这个 看这个漂亮的小图
Look at this. Look at this nice little graphic.
这是时间 这是他妈的她的事业
Here's time, here's her fucking career.
现在或许这儿该有一个小上升
Now maybe there should be a little uptick
因为她没有把食物吐得满桌都是 我不知道
because she didn't barf her food all over the table, I don't know.
那么如果她不能将这场他妈的破秀扭转过来 猜猜
So if she doesn't turn this fucking shit-show around, guess what,
我不知道我会怎么做
I don't know which way I'm gonna bounce.
Amy 当我超级疯狂的祖母发现自己控制不住的时候
Amy, when my memaw used to find herself getting snappy,
她会唱她最爱的歌♥ (Dixie's land)
she would sing her favorite song.
哦 我多希望仍在那片棉花田里
*Oh I wish I were in the land of ???
过去的时光不会被遗忘 看向远方
*We are not forgot look away
看向远方 看向远方...
*look away, look away...
哦 伙计们 拜托
No, guys, please.
最爱的家庭休假?
Favorite family vacation?
冲浪漂流 - 意大利
White water rafting. Italy.
迪士尼乐园 - 到底是哪个?
Disneyland. Which is it?
不 宝贝 我们从来没去过迪士尼乐园
No, honey, we didn't ever go to Disneyland.
哦 不 你没有带我去 Rosa带我和她的家人一块去的
Oh, no, you didn't take me. Rosa took me with her family.
谁是Rosa?
Who's Rosa?
她是... - 她是...
She was a... She was...
帮佣 - 帮佣 对的
housekeeper. Housekeeper, that's right.
你常和帮佣呆在一起?
You spent a lot of time with your housekeeper?
是的 她就像
Yeah, she was like a-
我们有去印度 - 唔
We did go to India. Mmm.
印度之旅糟透了 - 唔?
India was awful. Hmm?
我不知道你为什么不早点给我这个
I don't know why you didn't give me this earlier.
我不想在采访开始前给你
I didn't want to give it to you before your interview.
天 你不想喝点水吗? - 不 我很好
God, you don't want any water? No, I've gotten good at it.
瞧 我本该强调我的成功
Look at this. I was supposed to be stressing my successes.
我却坐在那里塞了满嘴鸡肉
Instead I'm sitting there stuffing my face with chicken.
这儿的东西棒极了 伙计们 好家伙 大拇指
Great stuff in there, guys. Good stuff. Thumbs up.
Andrew在摄影机里看起来棒极了
Andrew looks great on camera.
从我的楼梯上滚下去 Jonah - 哦 是的 女士
Get off my stairs, Jonah. Oh, yes, ma'am.
女士 - 什么?
Ma'am. What?
我得对您直言 可以吗? - 什么?
I need to give you some straight talk right now, okay?
-What?
您对今天会怎样荒废掉的最糟糕的猜想
All of your worst fears about how this day could have possibly gone...
- 哈? - ... 成真了
Yeah? ... have come true.
哦 天哪 - 不 不 抬头 看着我
Oh, my gosh. No, no, up here. Look at me.
您想主宰这个访问? - 没错
You want to own this interview? Yeah.
说出来 - 我要主宰它
Say it. I want to own it.
很好 这是你要做的 你得做点大的
All right, here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna do something big.
你要做些大胆的举动 而你会在未来的5分钟做到
You're gonna do something bold. And you're gonna do it in the next five minutes.
这个怎么样? 我提起裙子
How about this? How about I lift up my dress,
让大家好好的一睹春光)?
give everyone a big fat shot of my cooch?
苍天啊 - 一切正常吧?
Jesus Christ. Everything okay up there?
你需要更多的鼓励吗? - 不 开始吧
You need more pep talk? No, let's do it.
他听到了? - 没有
Did he just hear that? Nope.
使用原力 女士
Use the Force, ma'am.
我都不知道那是什么意思 - 出位的大动作 你指什么?
I don't even know what that means. Big and bold. What do you mean?
俄克拉荷马州来的混编歌♥么? - 听着 我是试着让她振作起来 好吗?
Like a medley from "Okla" fucking-"homa"? Look, I tried to wake her up, okay?
我别无选择 只能他妈的出击了
I have no choice but to be the fucking curveball.
棒极了 好了
Fantastic. Okay.
那么开拍 声音
Let's roll cameras. Sound.
哦 我有个多么美好的下午
So, what a lovely afternoon
能和第二家庭一起
I have gotten to spend with the Second Family.
那不错吧? 没错
How about that? Yeah.
Catherine 你会支持你的父母重新在一起吗?
And, Catherine, would you vote
for your parents to get back together again?
不 不 不 这样的话 我可以从