伊莱扎和真心话（2017）

你们别在这儿互相残杀哦
You girls don't kill each other out here,
答应我哦
okay?
抱歉 那简直就是他妈的种族歧视
Okay, I'm sorry, that was some racist bullshit.
是吧
Right?
我也感受到了刻板印象
even I feel profiled.
为啥就因为我是个金发白人女性
Why is it because I'm blonde and white
就得演个愚蠢又性感的神经病
I must be like a dumb hot psychopath?
虽然咱说的不是一回事 但是
I mean, it's not the same thing, but,
我懂你
sure.
你和我想的一样吗
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
嗯啊 我觉得是的
Yeah, you know what, I think so.
咱们把这栋楼烧了吧 - 咱们离开这儿吧
Let's set this building on fire - Let's get out of here
然后假装是意外失火 - 然后去喝一杯咋样
and make it look like a accident. - and go get a drink at a bar.
什么 - 什么
What? - What?
出去喝一杯
A drink.
在酒吧喝 - 我也是这么说的
At the bar. - Yeah. That's what I said,
去酒吧喝一杯
drink at the bar.
好吧 - 我知道个好去处
Okay. - I know a place.
是吗 - 对啊
You do? - Yeah.
好吧 咱别在这惹麻烦了
Okay. Let's not get in any trouble here.
我能摸摸你头发吗
Can I touch your hair?
不准
No.
说到"别碰我的头发"
Speaking of don't touch my hair,
Phoebe的纽♥约♥时♥报♥畅销书
Phoebe's New York Times bestselling book,
你也看到啦 书名叫做
which is, you totally read, is called
<别碰我的头发以及其他我需要解释的东西>
You Can't Touch My Hair And Other Things I Still Have To Explain.
休息片刻后
When we come back,
就是咱们观众的辛辣提问环节哦
we'll be letting our audience ask some very tough questions,
别走开哦
Stick with us.
欢迎回来 欢迎回来
Welcome back. Welcome back.
今晚咱们在聊的话题是 "怎样变得清醒"
We are talking tonight about, how do you get woke?
在节目开始之前
Now before the show,
我就让演播厅里非常清醒的观众
we have our very woke studio audiences
写下一件他们想要别人了解的
write down one thing that they want people to know
关于他们的种族 性别或者宗教信仰的事情
about their race, gender or religion.
接下来进入"快问车道"环节
For a segment we call the Race Card.
希望用的是混合动力引擎
Hope that was a hybrid engine.
好了 那么 呃
Ok. So Um.
从这个鱼缸里挑一张卡片
we'll pick one out of this bowl,
咱们都生活在这个透明的世界里
out of this fishbowl that we're all living in.
第一张来自一位叫Elana的女孩
First one is from a girl named Elana,
也可能是个男孩 无意评判 但是
could be a boy, no judgment. But,
如果你是个叫Elana的男孩 那也太逊了
if you're boy named Elana, you did a bad job.
好的 Elana
Ok Elana,
她说
she says,
我爸爸是黑人 妈妈是白人
my dad is black, and my mom is white,
我讨厌别人告诉我
I hate being told
我看起来很有异国风情
I look exotic.
我来自郊区
I come from the suburbs,
也不那么有趣
I'm not that interesting.
你好 Elana
Hi, Elana.
你好 Elana
Hi, Elana.
好吧 我其实一点也不同情你
Um. Okay. So, I have no sympathy for you,
因为我也是郊区来的
because I'm from the suburbs,
我为郊区代言
and I rep hard for the suburbs.
郊区真的棒呆了
The suburbs are awesome,
由于郊区的青少年永远都一副无聊模样
They have produced the listless teenage boredom,
所以Blink182出现了
they gave us blink 182,
还有各种毒品创新 比如 笑气
Creative drug use. You know, like whip it,
加油站和快餐店的二合一组合
combo gas station fast food restaurants.
别忘了还有跟圣诞节一样重要的比赛
And don't forget Christmas-like competitions.
好耶
yeah.
人们真的非常重视这些
People take those very seriously.
但严肃地说
But on a serious note,
这也是大多数混血儿的抱怨
a common complaint that you get if you're mixed race,
我听过这样一句话
So I've heard,
对白人来说 你不够白
is that you're not wide enough for white people,
对黑人来说 你也不够黑
and you're not black enough for black people,
你从来没有过归属感
and you never feel like you belong.
作为一个白人主持
So coming from a very white host,
我想告诉你 Elana
I'm gonna tell you Elana,
你属于这儿 我们很高兴你能来
you belong in this audience, and we're glad you're here.
最后一张来自一位叫Samantha的女性
And The last one we have here is from a woman named Samantha.
Samantha说
Samantha says,
有一次我在纽约地铁站遇到个男人
one time a guy pleasure himself
在空荡荡的车厢里
while staring at me
他一边盯着我 一边打飞机
on an empty subway train in New York City,
在我拒绝和他对视后
And then got upset
他竟然还不高兴了起来
when I wouldn't make eye contact with him
这是我作为一个女人的经历
So that's an experience I've had from being a woman.
好吧 Samantha
Well, Samantha,
我不知道说啥
I don't know,
那就是坐地铁会遇到的事吧
That's what you get for taking the subway.
保持清醒 保持清醒啊
Stay Woke! Stay woke.
我的朋友们
My friends.
你有什么想跟大家分享呢
Do you have something you want people to know
比如你作为一个在家接受教育
about being home-schooled,
白人同性恋美男子
white, gay, fabulous?
呃 就和你能想象的一样 爽翻了
Em, just about it's as great as you imagine it could be.
你想怎样就怎样
It's everything you wanted to be.
现在很多人都想让别人觉得他们是清醒着的
Now a lot of people want to be seen as woke
但那可能只是因为
but that might be because
他们只想让自己好受些
they just want to make themselves feel better
而不是为了让社会发展和进步
and not actually improve society.
我并没有评判任何有这种感觉的人
And I'm not judging anyone who feels that way.
事实上 还有一种产品
Actually there's a product out there
可以帮助你实现这个目标
that might help you achieve that goal.
全世界的人都在渐渐清醒
All around the world, people are getting woke.
但清醒是什么呢
But what is wokeness?
清醒
Wokeness.
清醒意味着什么
What does it mean to be woke?
清醒
Wokeness.
怎么才能变得清醒
how does one become woke?
我不知道
I don't know.
大家好
Hi there.
如果你在看这个视频
If you're watching this video,
那代表你已经开始正确发问了
that means you've started asking the right questions.
问题像是
Questions like,
我觉得我不是种族主义者 我该怎么让别人知道
I don't think I'm racist, but how do I let others know?
你知道当和黑人谈论他们的经历时
You Know That warm feeling you get
所感受到的那种温暖感吗
when you talk to a black person about their experience?
我看过<失落十三年> 我懂你
I saw "Thirteen." I get it.
现在 拿到清醒证书的你能够一直享有这样的感觉了
Now. You can feel that way all the time when you get woke certified.
清醒证书
Woke certified.
第一级清醒度
level one of wokeness,
你可能觉得同性恋是个人的自♥由♥
you may think being gay is a choice,
但你绝不会说出黑鬼一词
but you'd never say the N word
黑鬼
N word.
许多知名人士都有相当的清醒度级别
Many well known celebrities have achieved levels of wokeness,
你在浏览清醒度排行的同时
As you move through our woke levels,
你也在经历自身的矛盾
You're work through your own contradictions.
像是第#3A-4B级
Like at level #3A-4B,
属于这级的人会说#黑人命也是命
you'll say #blacklivesmatter,
但是你决不会和有黑人前任的女人上♥床♥
but you would never sleep with a girl who's been with a black guy.
但当你达到#3C4 子集 2 Σ的级别
though by the time you get to level #3C4 SUBSET 2 sigma,
你问都不会问
you won't even be asking
"为什么没有白人历史月"
"But why isn't there a white history month?"
那么什么时候你会清醒呢
So when will you be woke?
等你变成一个混血的 变性的
Not until you're a multiracial, transgender,
标准的 异性恋或是同性恋 加上99%的1%人群属性
normative hetero/homo and you're 99% one-percenter.