IT狂人（2006）

Now the money that Daniel lost wasn't really yours, was it?
跟他结了婚就成我的了 莫斯
It would have been if I'd married him, Moss.
我得找家好餐厅
I need a good restaurant.
说不定他一看到美食
Maybe if he likes the food,
就把这事忘了
he won't beat me to death with a shoe.
你不是说
I thought you said you'd
要带他去你最喜欢的餐厅吗
take him to one of your favourite restaurants.
你怎么就不开窍呢
Haven't you got it yet?
我能做的只有...
That's what I do:
说谎
I lie...
说谎
I lie and I lie and...
再说谎
I lie!
好吧 我最近发现了家好餐厅
Well, I went to a good place recently.
环境优雅 食物诱人
Nice atmosphere. Food's great.
真的假的 -当然是真的 干嘛
Really? - Yes. Why?
没想到你居然也会下馆子
Sorry, I just didn't have you down as a restaurant person.
我当然会下馆子
I'm a restaurant person.
我怎么就不能下馆子了
Why wouldn't I be a restaurant person?
要来点芝士条吗
Cheese string?
不用了 多谢
No, thanks.
那地方叫什么
What's this place called?
Messijoes
Messijoes.
你刚说的是法语 -不 是英语
Is that French? - French? No, it's English.
好吧 谢谢
Okay, thank you, Moss. Yeah, I'll uh...
就去那儿了
I'll give that a go.
我得找个能彰显混♥蛋♥魅力的地方
Okay, I need a place to bring this girl
跟那个女人约会
that says "I'm a bastard."
好吧 我最近发现了家好餐厅
Well, I went to a good place recently.
环境优雅 食物诱人 首屈一指
Nice atmosphere. Food's great. It's got a bit of an edge.
真的假的 叫什么
Yeah? What's it called?
Messijoes
Messijoes.
你说啥 西班牙语
What is that? Spanish?
不是西班牙语 是英语 Messijoes
No! Spanish? It's English. Messijoes.
[莫斯说的Messijoes餐厅]
伦敦最好的家庭餐厅
好嘞 你的烟火小脆饼来啦
Okey dokey, you get the firecracker nachos.
还有你的辣酱虾仁
And you are getting the prawn bites with spicy salsa.
你这种人怎么会来这种地方
This seems an unusual place for someone like you to want to meet.
就是说...
Yeah but...
每个人都需要一个孤独之地
everyone needs a place to come to be alone.
你看 你看
Look at me! Yeah! Look at me!
快叫个小丑过来
Get a clown over here, please!
你是个孤独的人吗
You're a loner?
我一直都很孤独
I'm a loner all right.
我是个
I'm just a...
寂寞的独行侠
lonely loner
踽踽独行
on a lonely road.
形单影只
Alone.
你总是带着墨镜吗
Do you always wear shades?
这是哥的习惯
Always.
这能掩盖
They help me hide the fact
我总是对
I'm always lying
女人说谎的事实
to women.
不好意思
Excuse me! Excuse me!
抱歉
It's just... It's not... Sorry,
现在不是唱歌♥的时候
it's just not appropriate at the moment.
你不是电视上那家伙嘛
You're that bloke off the telly!
你肯定是电♥话♥里那女的
And you must be the woman he phoned! Brilliant!
你俩真是笑死我了
Funniest thing I've seen in ages.
天呐 我真不是东西
God! I'm a bastard!
没错 你只会说这句
Yes. So you keep saying.
我就是个问题青年
Trouble... It's basically what I am.
多谢
Thank you.
你知道吗
You know something?
我觉得你不是混♥蛋♥
I don't think you're a bastard at all.
我是啊
I am so.
我真不是个东西
I am a complete tool.
上帝啊
Oh my God!
住手 别 别打他
No don't, don't! Don't hit him!
我认识她
I know her.
喂 你打他干嘛
Hey! What's going on?
关你鸟事
Stay out of this, Fonzy!
别再孩子面前打人啊
You're fighting in front of kids!
关我屁事
I don't care!
你真是纯爷们
You're a brute!
这家伙对我出言不逊
This bloke just insulted me!
喂 鞋子大小心点
Hey! Bit more careful with the clown shoe there, Mister.
头仰起来
Just hold your head back.
他这是突然袭击
He caught me by surprise.
明天见他的时候...
When I see him tomorrow...
他辞职了 -谢天谢地
That was his last day. - Thank God!
天呐 你看
Oh my God, look!
小跟班 你♥他♥妈♥能不能走快点
If you're coming, can you just bloody hurry up!
行行行 -我靠
I'm coming! I... - God's sake!
我得把鞋脱了
I just need to take my shoes off.
他俩还真是恩爱啊
They look like such fruits.
我帮你叫辆出租车吧
I'll call you a cab.
不用了 没关系
No, no, no, it's fine.
出租车 -我搭公车就行
Taxi! - I'll get my bus.
别傻了 这么冷的天做什么公车
Don't be stupid, it's cold.
出租车
Taxi!
拿着 -真恶心
Here. - Oh God.
这20磅还你
Here you can have your 20 back.
我想这个赌也证明不了什么
I don't really think the bet proved anything.
出租车
Taxi!
罗伊 谢了
Thanks, Roy.
我只是想... -约会愉快
I just want... - Nice date!
我是孤单的独行侠 踽踽独行
Just a lonely loner walking a lonely road.
姑娘们好啊
Hi, girls.
我叫莫里斯·莫斯
My name is Maurice Moss.
你们可以简称莫斯
Or Moss for short.
抱歉 音质不太好
Sorry about the sound quality
我只能在厕所里录影
but I'm having to do this in the toilet of my mom's house.
我老妈看《谋杀诊断》把音量开的震天响
She's watching Diagnosis Murder at full volume.
我快被她逼疯了
And it drives me up the wall.
但请别担心
Don't worry, though.
我虽然坐在马桶上 但我不是在上大号♥
I'm sitting on the toilet but I'm not using it.
干嘛
What?
莫斯 -干嘛
Moss? - Yes?
你在里面做什么
What you doing in there?
上大号♥呢 别打扰我
Number 2s, leave me alone!
别忘了冲厕所
Don't forget to flush the toilet.
别再把厕所给堵了 你老干这事
Don't clog it up like you usually do.
我知道 别再说了 干嘛老提这事
I know! Just stop doing this! You're always doing this!
屎都给憋回去了
You're making it going back in!
现在说说我喜欢的类型
Now, my type...