IT狂人（2006）

二选一
咱们到了
Here we are!
你到家了
Your place... your place...
罗伊秀外语 可惜说错了
夫人你家到了[法语]
La maison... de la femme...
夫人你家倒了[西班牙语]
El casa del signorita...
婊♥子♥你家倒了[德语]
Das haus die Frau...
晚安
Good night!
我还是送你到门口吧
I'll just walk you to the door.
不用了 -别客气
There's no need. - That's okay.
那... 再见咯[意大利语]
So... I guess this is "Arrivederci".
要能喝杯茶多好啊
I'd quite fancy a cup of tea though.
喝杯水也行啊
A glass of water maybe.
能躺一会儿就更妙了
Perhaps a little lie down.
对了 我有件事要告诉你
Look... I have to tell you something.
啥
What?
我本来在餐厅就想说的
I wanted to tell you in the restaurant but...
但一直没找着机会
it... a good time never came up and I...
我本来不想说的 -说吧
I wasn't gonna say it but... - Say it.
还是告诉你吧
I have to.
啥
What?
你头上有坨屎
You've got shit on your head.
啥
What?
你头上有坨屎
There's some shit on your head.
啥
What?
在哪 在哪
Where? Where?
一直糊在哪
It's been there forever.
我的天呐
Oh God! Oh God!
是巧克力
It's chocolate!
真的是巧克力
It's chocolate!
这货不是屎
It's not shit!
这货不是屎
It's not shit!
这是
It's..
是我吃的甜点
It's my dessert.
不知道怎么弄到头上去了 不过
I don't know how it got there but uh...
肯定是粘在手指上了
It's on my fingers.
真不是屎
It's not shit!
谢天谢地
Thank God for that!
我还以为你是从哪来的屎男呢
You know, I just spent the last hour
为这事我纠结了一个小时
thinking you were some sort of disgusting tramp.
不是吧
Oh no!
这也太搞笑了
That's funny!
天呐 你看 -干嘛
Oh God look! - What?
是巧克力
It's chocolate!
现在能进去茶了吧
How about that cup of tea now?
昨晚我一直表现得很绅士
I was a perfect gentleman last night from beginning to end
但她就是对我头上那坨屎念念不忘
but she can't see past a little bit of shit on my forehead!
你不说那是巧克力嘛
I thought you said it was chocolate.
没错 巧克力 就是巧克力
Yes, chocolate, yes! I meant chocolate.
忘开了
I forgot to turn this thing on.
你好 I.T.部
Hello, IT. .
你好 我电脑出毛病了
Hi, uh, something's wrong with my computer.
重启过没
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
没 太感谢了
Oh No! No, oh Dear, thanks.
不客气
You're welcome then.
每次都这样
It's typical.
只要我在公♥司♥里泡妞
The one time I manage to bamboozle a girl in the building
都会遇到这种事
into going out with me and this happens.
她肯定会搞的人尽皆知
She's gonna tell everyone!
怕啥 她是前台小姐
Oh come on! She's a receptionist,
接电♥话♥还来不及呢
she'd hardly gossip.
再说 这事没什么好八卦的
Besides it's a boring story.
就是 这有什么好说的
Yeah... that's boring.
她不会乱说的
It's boring, she won't tell anyone.
你们好啊
Hello.
不好意思哦
Sorry guys.
她可能告诉珍了
She might have told Jen.
不 我就是这么说的
No, that's what I'm saying.
那不是屎 那是...
It wasn't. It was...
是巧克力 真的是巧克力
It was chocolate. It was chocolate.
我不知道
I don't know... I don't know... it...
肯定是我不小心粘在手指上...
it got on my fingers and then I must have...
听我说
Listen...
老妈 你这是从哪听来的
how did you even hear about this, mom?
莫斯 我办公室有只蜘蛛
Moss... Moss, there's a spider in my office.
帮我灭了它 我讨厌蜘蛛
Could you deal with it? I just hate spiders.
珍 我不是非常特别尤其喜欢蜘蛛
I'm not overly fond of them myself there, Jen.
它...
How...
它有多大 这么大啊...
How big is... Whoa! Hey now!
要不这样吧
I'll tell you what.
你不如去找我的好朋友罗伊
I actually recommend my good friend Roy there
让他做啥都愿意
as the go-to guy on anything
七只眼睛的也无所谓
with more than 7 eyes.
他现在只是在打一通简短的私人电♥话♥
He's on a very brief personal call right now.
上吧 莫斯 别傻了
Come, Moss. Don't be silly.
没错 我很傻的 罗伊快挂电♥话♥
You're right, I'm being silly. Wrap it up, Roy!
不就是只蜘蛛嘛 怕什么
It's just a spider. It's fine.
你看 它自己逃走了
Oh look! It seems to have left of its own volition.
莫斯 别这么受行不
Oh, be a man, Moss!
好吧 我是纯爷们
You're right, I'll be a man. I'm a man.
千万别关门
Please don't shut the door.
我不会的
I won't.
珍 再见了
Goodbye, Jen.
我妈打来的
That was my mother.
她怎么知道这件事的
How did she hear about this?
她是不是之前来过电♥话♥
Oh, was that the woman who phoned earlier?
我在电♥话♥里对每个人都说了
'Cause I've just been telling everybody.
你怎么想起来泡帕翠西啊
Why would you want to go out with Patricia anyway?
她前男友可是三楼的西蒙
I mean, her last boyfriend was Simon from 3rd.
珍 -干嘛
Jen! - Hey, you!
你还在那不
Hello there.
你抓到了没啊
Have you caught it yet?
还没
Not quite, Jen.
蜘蛛想往我背上爬
The spider's managed to walk behind me.
现在被我夹在门中间
And it's between me and the door.
所以我出不来了
So I can't get out.
三楼的西蒙 就是那个胡子拉碴男
Simon from 3rd is the one with the hair.
是他啊 超恶心
Oh, him! Oh, he's awful.
他有次赌输了 把整本《Loaded》吃了
He once ate a copy of Loaded for a bet.
《Loaded》是英国著名男性杂♥志♥
她居然喜欢那种人 -没错
She liked him? - Apparently.
难怪呢
That explains everything!
原来她喜欢那种
She likes the kind of
爱吃《Loaded》的恶心男
big obnoxious guy who eats Loaders.
你好 丹尼尔
Hello, Daniel.
近来可好
How are you?
我很好 谢谢 你呢
I'm great, thanks. How are you?
好极了
I'm great.
你们谁能告诉我 那个...
Well, can either of you tell me... okay... okay...
D小调弥撒曲是谁写的
who wrote Missa Brevis in D minor?
是莫扎特还是贝多芬来着
Was it Mozart or Beethoven?
肯定是莫扎特
That was a certain Mr. Mozart, I think you'll find.
是嘛 你对古典音乐很了解吗
Oh right, do you know a lot about classical music?
略懂 -这样啊
Petit pois. - Oh, right.
莫扎特 贝多芬 二选一嘛
Mozart, Beethoven, 50 50 ain't it?
你还真说对了 真是莫扎特写的
Actually, no, you were right. It was Mozart.
那再答一题
Okay, so, let's try another one.
就这题 莫扎特死于哪一年
Okay. Here we go. In what year did Mozart die?
1780年还是1791年
Was it 1780 or 1791?
1791年
1791.
没错 又答对了
Yes! Yes! Bang on! Good!
天呐 他最好别再来了