IT狂人（2006）

I'm gonna need a volunteer.
很好 请
Yes. Come on up.
好了 能把左手伸过来吗 手背
That's fine. Can I have your left hand there? The back?
放松
And just relax there.
我来问你一个非常私人的问题
I'm gonna ask you a very personal question.
看到了吗
There we are, you see?
放心 我不会问你任何问题
Sorry, I'm not gonna ask you anything at all.
这么小的刺♥激♥
That's just to show how little is needed
就能产生巨大压力
to send down stress levels shooting up.
这么平常的状况
Just a simple statement like that
就会使指针发生明显偏转
is registered very strongly on the display.
还有人想来试试吗 -我
Yes, another volunteer? - Yeah.
好
OK.
把这个 解开
I'll have... just this off.
动了动了 升高了
Ah! There it goes! Yes, raise up!
你们瞧 太有才了
Look at that! Brilliant!
太有才了 了不起啊 这玩意真厉害
Brilliant, excellent! It's a super machine!
哇塞 鞋子真漂亮
Wow, great shoes!
过奖了
Thank you very much.
有双小巧的脚真让人羡慕啊
I really envy women with dainty feet.
你穿多大呀 五码
What are you? A five?
是的 五码
Yeah! Five...
一点点小误会
Well, just a little misunderstanding there I imagine. So...
我们继续 -喂
Huh let's move on... with... - Wow!
我还没有体验过呢
I actually haven't had a proper go yet.
我不要系上... 刚才的事...
Well, I don't need attach... can't, what's happened there...
我觉得这不公平
Actually, I don't think that's fair...
我想试试 我觉得
I would like a go, and I think
罗伊把那个人吓得半死 应该受到惩罚
Roy should be punished for nearly killing that lady.
我先来
Well, I think I should go first!
好了 我们继续
I see, well let's move on...
成熟点行不 -就一下下
When did you grow a bit? - A little go.
我们继续 -我觉得我们
We gotta move on... - And I think we could...
继续讲座好吗
Can we just move on?
这么大人了 丢不丢人啊
You're old? Are you very old?
继续讲座
Let's move on!
闭嘴
Oh! Shut up!
你在吃什么
What are you eating?
松饼
Muffin.
松饼 你怎么又饿了
A muffin? How can you be hungry,
讲座上你刚吃了一只整鸡
you ate a whole chicken at the stress buffet!
你那什么玩意
What's that?
我造了一台测压仪
Oh, I've made a stress machine
想自己测测 跟讲座上的差不多
to try out for myself, like the one in that class.
看好了
Watch this.
我要问自己一个非常私人的问题
I'm going to ask myself a very personal question.
淡定 我不会问的
Don't worry, I'm not really going to ask myself any questions.
不错嘛
Pretty good.
不过还是没讲座上那台好用
Not as good as the one in the stress class.
鞋子
The shoes!
这是怎么了
What was all that about?
跟别的女人一样 鞋控呗
Well, like all the women, she's shoe mad!
这话说得有点性别歧视吧
It's a bit sexist, isn't it?
你认识哪个女的不喜欢鞋吗
Do you know one woman who isn't obsessed with shoes?
没 我只认识一个女人
No, but I only know one woman.
她刚刚边走边喊"鞋子"
And she just left the room shouting: "The shoes!".
我的测压器
指针都要转傻了
The needle's freaking out!
别戳到自己
Try not to hurt yourself!
莫斯
Moss?
你造机器有没有用电烙铁
Did you use a soldering iron to make that stress machine?
有啊
Yes.
关了没
You turned it off?
确定一定以及肯定关了
Oh I'm fairly sure I did!
你还记得上次的事吧
Because, you remember what happened last time, right?
当然 太好玩了
Yes! That was very funny!
不是 不是
Well no! No.
那次差点死人了
It was very dangerous and someone nearly died!
嗷 好吧
Right! No! Yeah!
是我搞混了
I was thinking of a different incident.
我还以为是高尔夫球场那事
The one on the golf course.
什么
What?
我说的是那场火灾
I'm talking about the fire!
好吧 火灾
Oh yeah, fire.
不好意思 我总是搞不清高尔夫和火灾
Sorry! I always get mixed up between golf and fire.
再去确认一下 -关了
Just make sure it's off! - It is off.
应该是
I think.
去确认一下 -我会的
Well just make sure it is. - I will make sure it is.
如果是关着的怎么办
And if it's already off...
那我就闪一边去
I'll just walk away!
就不能少啰嗦几句吗
Will he get off my back!
他算毛啊 烙铁警♥察♥吗
What is he? The soldering iron police?
关好了嘛
It's off...
所以我要 打开
that means I turn it... on...
然后闪一边去
and just walk away!
"喝" "喔"
Oh four! I mean five!
"火"
I mean fire!
这玩意儿怎么用
Now let's see what we have here.
"直立"
"Stand upright."
看不见字了
Now, I can't read it...
嗷 不是让我直立
Oh, not me!
我真蠢
I am a giddy-goat!
好的
Okay.
"拔出保险销"
"Remove safety clip."
别看我的脚 -着火了
Don't look at my feet! - Fire?
着火了...
Fire...
好吧
No...?
"将喷嘴对准火焰根部"
"Aim nozzle at base of fire."
每次都这样
Oh, that is typical!
到底怎么回事
Why has it done that?
英国制♥造♥
我还是把它放在这
I'll just put this over here, with the rest...
一起烧吧
of the fire.
011 53 不对
011 53... No.
011...
011 huh...
0118 999...
0118 999...
3
...3!
喂 请问是紧急服务中心吗
Hello? Is this the emergency services?
请问您是哪国人
Then which country am I speaking to?
喂 喂
Hello? Hello?
有了
I know! Yep.
主题
"Subject..."
着火啦
"...fire!"
尊敬的先生 女士
"Dear Sir", stroke, "Madam."
我来信报告一起火灾
"I'm writing to inform you of a fire
据推断 火灾的起因是...
which has broken out at the premises of..."
不行 这太正式了
No. That's too formal.
尊敬的先生 女士
"Dear Sir", stroke, "Madam."
着火啦 感叹号♥
"Fire!", exclamation mark.
着火啦 感叹号♥
"Fire!", exclamation mark.
救命 感叹号♥
"Help me!', exclamation mark.
卡伦敦路123号♥
"123, Carendon road."
期待您的回信
"Looking forward to hearing from you."
祝一切安好 莫里斯·莫斯
"All the best, Maurice Moss."
你为什么要穿5码鞋呢
What are you wearing size 5 shoes for,
姐姐 你的脚起码有8码
woman? You're at least an 8!
8码
Eight?
你胆子不小
How dare you?!
那只脚已经彻底废掉了
That foot is completely mangled.
另一只更糟
And the other one's even worse.
以后不许再穿这双鞋
You're not wearing these again.
可我把其他鞋都扔了