IT狂人（2006）

God! I hope he doesn't come in again!
珍 -又怎么了
Jen! - Yes!
罗伊的电♥话♥打完了吗
Is Roy off the phone yet?
那蜘蛛已经爬到我身上来了
The spider is now upon my person.
我在这坐会儿 没关系吧
You guys don't mind me chilling out in here, do you?
当然 -随便坐
No. - Chill out!
昨天的比赛你们看了吗
So did you see the match last night?
当然 -当然看了
Oh yeah! - Oh yeah!
天呐 -是吧
God! - Did we?
太精彩了
What a match!
选手们跑来跑去
All of the players running up the pitch and running down it again.
太有体育精神了
Such athleticism!
不晓得鲁尼当时怎么想的
What was Rooney thinking over there?
鬼才知道 他太不给力了
Who knows! That's Rooney!
他就是个蠢蛋
He is a foolish boy!
那裁判也是
Yeah but... that referee...
那裁判简直是个白♥痴♥
I'm sorry the referee is just an idiot.
没错 他就是罪魁祸首
Yes, he was certainly the villain of the piece.
丹尼尔 你还在这儿啊
Daniel, you're still here.
是啊 我下来坐会儿
Yeah, just... just having a little break.
要做我旁边吗
Do you wanna come and join me?
算了吧
Stop it!
我该走了
Well, I'd better hit this way.
对了
Oh by the way, guys,
如果下次遇到蜘蛛
if you need any help with any more spiders,
随时给我打电♥话♥ 别客气
just give me a call, okay?
我们自己能搞定 谢你全家
Yeah, we'll be fine, I think, thanks.
不如留张名片吧
Actually, do you have a card?
你还真好意思啊 再见
That is good. See you.
你居然喜欢他
You like him!
你说谁
Who?
那个保安帅哥 当然喜欢
Oh, that good looking man with "Security" written on his shoulders? Yes!
我是喜欢他
Yes, I do.
他看上去是个好人
He seems really nice.
好个屁
Nice!
女人咋都这样 外貌党
'Cause that's what you women want! Nice guys!
你好 I.T.部
Hello, IT! .
罗伊 你说啥
What are you talking about, Roy?
昨晚的约会让我彻底清醒
If my date last night proved anything,
你们女人根本不要好男人
it's that you, ladies, you don't want nice guys.
罗伊 我倒是觉得你昨晚的约会证明了
I think if your date proved anything, Roy,
女人不喜欢额头上沾屎的男人
it's that women like men without poo on their foreheads.
我们不爱屎男
That's our type.
别扯到那上面去
That has nothing to do with this.
她根本不想与绅士共度一生
She clearly just didn't want a gentleman in her life.
我讨厌下结论
I hate to generalize, you know that.
但结论就是"男人不坏女人不爱"
But all women just want bastards.
这只是个传说
That women liking bastards thing is a total myth.
我重启了 还是不行
I've tried turning it off and on again and nothing happened.
插头插了没
Is it definitely plugged in?
我瞧瞧
Oh, let me have a look.
抱歉 还真没插 非常感谢
Oh, sorry, that's it, thanks very much.
不客气
You're welcome then.
你说的是歪理
It's just not true.
女人根本不想要绅士
Women don't want gentlemen,
她们只喜欢无♥耻♥男和暴♥力♥男
they want bullies and thugs.
我证明给你看
I'll prove it to you.
你准备怎么证明 罗伊
How will you prove it to me, Roy?
有了
Oh! Okay.
我要在网上发布一则分类广♥告♥
I'll put a... I'll put on a classified ad online.
分类广♥告♥
A classified?
空虚寂寞什么的
Yeah, like a lonely hearts thing
不过我会装变♥态♥
but I'll make it sound psychotic.
我敢打赌 回复肯定居高不下
And I still bet I'll get a bazillion replies.
坑爹呢
Oh, dear God.
打赌吧 你赌多少
Come on. How much?
只要有人回复我就给你20英镑
Okay. Yeah, I'll give you 20 quid if you get 1 response.
就这么定了
You're on!
天呐 算了
Oh my God, no!
你身上全是体液
It's all about body fluids with you, isn't it?
莫斯快来 干活了
Come on, Moss! We need to get to work.
什么活
Work?
我们要在网上发布一则寂寞空虚的分类广♥告♥
Yeah, we need to post a classified lonely hearts ad online
我要伪装成变♥态♥ 这样就能向珍证明
that makes me sound like a psycho so that I can prove to Jen
"男人不坏女人不爱"不是传说
that all women love bastards
顺便赚上20磅外快
and therefore win 20 pounds.
谢天谢地 我还以为那玩意儿坏了呢
Thank God! I thought that thing was broken.
"闭嘴 按我说的做 我对你没兴趣"
"Shut up! Do what I tell you! I'm not interested!"
如果回复了这条广♥告♥
These are just some of the things
你就会听到这些内容
you'll be hearing if you answer this ad.
"我是傻♥逼♥ 只顾自己"
"I'm an idiot and I don't care about anyone but myself."
"另：狗类自重"
"P.S. No dogs."
不错 -你写的呢
That's good. - What's yours?
相形见绌了
Mine doesn't look any good now.
说吧
Go on.
"我要杀了你"
"I'm going to murder you."
"你这天煞的女人"
"You bloody woman!"
听起来怪吓人的
Might want to play a bit hard to get.
如果你是杀人犯 会取什么昵称
If you were a murderer, what would your nickname be?
要我说就取"嗜血园丁"
Mine would be "The Gardener",
因为我总会在犯罪现场留下一支玫瑰
'cause I'd always leave a rose at the scene of the crime.
那凶器用什么
What would your murder weapon be?
锤子
A hammer.
莫斯
Hey, Moss.
"你愿意跟我共进晚餐吗"
"Would you like to go for dinner with me?"
"然后一起去我家"
"And then maybe back to my place?"
当然愿意
I'd love to, Jen,
可我现在要帮罗伊
but I'm actually helping Roy at the moment.
不不不 看这个造型 你想起了谁
No. No, no, no. Who does this remind you of, yeah?
"你想和我约会吗"
"Do you wanna go on a date with me?"
甘地
Gandhi?
我知道了 博诺
No, no, the other one. Bono.
不 我是在模仿罗伊
No, no, I was doing Roy.
你模仿的太像了
Yes, yes, it's like there was 2 of me.
准备掏钱吧你 20英镑
Come on. Get your money ready. 20 pounds.
你好啊
Hey! Hello.
保安哥哥
It's security.
但愿我没遇到什么危险
I hope I'm not in any danger.
我的天呐
Oh my God!
这不是屎
It's not shit!
我头上的不是屎
On my head, it's not shit!
是巧克力
It's chocolate spread.
不信你尝尝 -免了
Taste it! - No!
你看
Look!
你看
Look!
是林格·斯塔
Ringo Starr?
想不出答案 我晚上要失眠了
I'll be wondering about that all night!
你怎么知道这个网站的
How do you know about this site?
我是会员
I'm a member.
真的 你也搞空虚寂寞那套
Really? You do the whole lonely hearts thing?
我是个32岁的码农
I'm a 32-year-old IT man
而且还在地下室工作
who works in a basement.
当然空虚寂寞
Yes, I do the whole lonely hearts thing.
如你所见 那不是...屎
So, as you can clearly see, it wasn't... excrement,
是巧克力
it was chocolate.
我是跟他们开玩笑 那是巧克力
I was playing a joke. It was chocolate.
珍 没关系的
Jen, it's okay,
我知道了 别担心
I've got it. Don't worry about it.
你今晚有什么安排
Listen, what are you doing tonight?
有人回我了 -这么快
I've got a response! - That was quick!
网速怎么这么慢