前夫总动员（2011）
The Exes
第三季
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前夫总动员（2011）
The Exes S03E04
Part 1
March 18, 2021, 1:35 p.m.
- 他是唐纳德·法森 - 大家好
你正准备收看的是
新一集《前夫总动员》
我们可以一起把唐纳德演的片段下载到手♥机♥
进行循环播放
你好搞笑 你好搞笑
那的确很搞笑
- 能看后面一个片段吗 - 不知道诶
哟 你这是要早退的节奏啊
Well, you're leaving kind of early.
没错呀 我刚刚打完一场大官司
Yes, I am. I just closed a big case.
我老妈都夸我了呢
My mom said she was proud of me.
夸的很含蓄
Well, she implied it.
就连我的发型都如此帅气
Even my hair's kicking ass.
生活真美好
Life is good.
我也替你高兴
And I am proud of you too,
特别是分手后情绪整理的不错
especially how you've handled your breakup with Paul,
你已经走出分手阴影了
how you have just moved on.
没错 正是如此
Yeah, you know, I really have.
我今天还遇到他了
I mean, I bumped into him today,
当时一点后悔感都没有
and there was not even one pang of regret.
那太好了
That's great.
看来你已经刀枪不入了
It's like nothing can get you down.
- 铜墙铁壁 - 没错
- Nothing. - That's right.
等下 啥戳我膝盖呢?
Wait, what could get me down?
如你所言 你刀枪不入了
Like you said, nothing.
就算我告诉你
Not even if I were to tell you
据说 保罗有新女友了也没事
that, say, Paul is dating someone.
没错
Not even that.
那女人是谁?
Who is she?
管她是谁
Does it really matter?
哦 老天 有这么糟么?
Oh, God. Is it that bad?
住口 别告诉我
No, don't tell me.
说吧 还是算了
Tell me. No, don't.
她年轻貌美? 我不想知道
Is she young? I don't want to know.
是啊 反正不管你的事
Yeah, it doesn't really matter.
老天 是个年轻的姑娘
Oh, God. She's young.
估计他在和某个年轻貌美 天真烂漫的二货恋爱
So what if he's dating some young, naive idiot.
她很二 对吗? 别 别告诉我
She is an idiot, right? No, don't tell me.
反正与你无关了
Well, does it really Matt--
哦 完了 她还是个聪明的姑娘
oh, God. She's not an idiot.
好吧 她是个整形外科医生
Okay, she's kind of an orthopedic surgeon.
老天爷
Oh.
但不排除她是二♥逼♥的可能性
But--but maybe she's one of the dumb ones.
要是他在和一个年轻貌美 聪明伶俐的医生恋爱呢?
So what if he's dating a young, smart doctor?
活的这么有压力 肯定是个吃货
With that kind of pressure, she must eat like a pig.
她是不是矮胖挫? 住嘴 别告诉我
She's a little chunky, right? No, don't tell me.
告诉我她就是个胖子
Tell me she's a porker.
- 不是 - 老天
- N-no. - Oh.
要是能安慰到你的话
But if it makes you feel any better,
我觉得她太皮包骨了
I think she's a little too skinny.
要死了
Oh!
呃
Uhh!
太不公平了
Ugh! It's not fair.
我该是那个先走出失恋阴影的人啊
I should have been the one to move on first.
他要移情也得等我先有新男人再说啊
He could have at least waited for me to find someone.
你先和他提出分手的
Well, you are the one who broke up with him.
你让他咋办 天天抱躯伤心而亡么?
What was he supposed to do, curl up in a ball and die?
没错!
Yes!
霍莉 我觉得他交新女友
Holly, I'm sure he's only with her
就是为了添平失去你的伤口
to get over the pain of losing you.
这话动听 就当是这个原因吧
Yeah, all right. Let's go with that one.
她胸小 是吧?
Her boobs-- small, right?
住口 别告诉我
No. Don't tell me.
其实这不重...
Does it really--
妈蛋的 是巨♥乳♥!
oh, crap! They're huge!
前夫总动员 第三季第四集
说吧 问我今天过得如何
Go ahead. Ask me about my day.
赶紧问我啊 快呀 我赌你不敢
Somebody ask me. Come on, I dare you.
移开视线 别和她有眼神交流
Look away. Don't make eye contact.
嗨 霍莉 今天过得如何?
Hi, Holly. How was your day?
简直就是地狱!
It was hell!
保罗已经移情别恋了
Paul's already dating another woman.
某个年轻貌美 身材火♥辣♥ 童颜巨♥乳♥的医生
Some young, hot doctor with big boobs.
喔
Hoo!
保罗这下是挖到宝了!
Paul hit the mother lode!
一连两次
Two times in a row.
怎么说 霍莉 也许这是在警示你
Well, Holly, maybe this is just a sign
别纠结过去了 再找个男人吧
for you to get out there and find a new beau.
其实 我在下班回来的路上
Actually, I met three wonderful guys
遇到了三个帅男
just walking here from my office.
我就是想不好先对哪个下手
I just don't know which one to call first.
- 真的? - 当然假的 别这么幼稚好么
- Really? - No, grow up!
你怎么会懂得
You have no idea how hard it is
我这种年纪要找个伴有多难
for a woman out there my age.
我都已经过了保鲜期 快人老珠黄了
I'm so far past my sell-by date I'm beginning to curdle.
赶紧来人救场呀
Somebody else speak.
霍莉 听着 你会遇到真命天子的
Uh, Holly, look. You'll meet someone else.
你遇到了保罗 他离真命天子就差了一丢丢
You met Paul, and he was almost the right guy.
没错 花了我两年的时间
Exactly. It took me two years of bad dates
才找到一个差不多的
to find "Almost the right guy."
那我得花多少年才能找到真命天子啊?
How long is it gonna take me to find "The right guy"?
也许你该另辟蹊径
Maybe you should try a different approach.
网恋如何?
How about online dating?
- 哦 老天 - 先别拒绝
- Oh, God. - No, no, no, no, no.
真爱有时就是一击鼠标 一查背景的事儿
Love might be just a mouse click and a background check away.
算了吧
Forget it.
这太没下限了
It's completely beneath what's left of my dignity.
那你打算咋办 就这么放弃了?
What are you gonna do, just give up?
听着 我已经花了20年时间
Look, I've spent the last 20 years
来寻找真爱
looking for the right guy.
也许是时候放弃搜寻
Maybe it's time to call off the dogs.
反正早没戏了
The trail's gone cold.
老天 她这份愤世嫉俗的样儿看着让人心疼
Jeez, I hate to see her so cynical.
就好像她已经放弃希望了
It's like she's given up hope.
是啊 在你察觉之前 她已经成了
Yeah, before you know it, she'll be that crazy old aunt
在感恩节胡言乱语的疯婆子了
at Thanksgiving who slips you the tongue.
这样吧 兄弟们 我们要阻止这一切
You know what, boys, we're not gonna let that happen.
这个因为我们亲手来解决
Because we're gonna take matters into our own hands
帮她找到真命天子
and make sure she meets the perfect guy.
斯图尔特 你负责注册交♥友♥网♥站账号♥
Stuart, you're gonna sign up for a dating site.
你就当自己是霍莉
You're gonna pretend that you're Holly,
给她建个个人档案
and you're gonna create a profile.
- 明白 - 菲尔
- Got it. - Phil.
- 在 - 你是恋爱专家
- Yeah. - You're the dating pro.
你就负责淘汰屌♥丝
We're gonna use your expertise to weed out the losers.
包在我身上
Done!
哈斯克 那你负责啥?
Haskell, what are you gonna do?
先生们 我负责指引方向
Gentlemen, I'm the man who points and screams.
现在赶紧把帐给我付了 我们走
Now pay my tab, and let's get out of here!
你把霍莉的个人档案挂上网站了?
So you put Holly's profile up?
是啊 已经挂上去三个小时了
Yeah, it's been up for three hours.
好了 伙计们
All right, boys.
虽说从未料想我会说这句话
I never thought I'd say this,
但把汉子们溜出来让我瞧瞧吧
but show me the men.
菲尔 没有人
Phil, there are no guys.
- 啊? - 还没人
- Huh? - No.
没点击率 没私信 没信息
No hits, no pings, no messages.
没有人感兴趣
No one's interested.
我们家姑娘就像是跳舞头饰不搭
It's like we're the girl at the dance
眼神散漫 没人想看
with the head gear and the lazy eye.
让我看看你都写了啥
Let me see what you wrote.
霍莉 人高马大 有主见 40出头的离婚律师
Tall, strong-minded, 40-ish divorce lawyer."
你还不如写
Why don't you just put
"愤世老长颈鹿想孤独终老"算了
"Angry old giraffe wants to die alone"?
我不懂了 这写错了吗?
前夫总动员（2011）
The Exes
剧集 | 前夫总动员（2011） | 导航列表