前夫总动员（2011）
The Exes
第三季
剧集 | 前夫总动员（2011） | 导航列表
前夫总动员（2011）
The Exes S03E03
Part 1
March 18, 2021, 1:34 p.m.
- 他是唐纳德·法森 - 大家好
你正准备收看的是
新一集《前夫总动员》
我们可以一起把唐纳德演的片段下载到手♥机♥
进行循环播放
你好搞笑 你好搞笑
那的确很搞笑
- 能看后面一个片段吗 - 不知道诶
你觉得我和保罗分手
So you don't think I did the wrong thing
- 这事是否做错? - 没啊
- by breaking up with Paul? - No.
你也不觉得我太快放弃爱情了?
And you don't think I gave up on love too soon?
- 不觉得 - 你是不是因为要赶飞机
- No. - Are you just placating me
所以在敷衍我?
because you're in a hurry to catch your plane?
绝对她妈的没错
Abso-freakin'-lutely.
快点 我伯祖母的葬礼要迟到了
Come on, I'm gonna be late to my great aunt's funeral.
不是说这能减轻我的些许悲伤
Not that it lessens the grief,
但我听说她留给我了些好东西
but I heard she left me some goodies.
好吧好吧 去拿你的葬礼礼包吧
All right, all right. Go get your funeral swag.
谢谢
Thanks.
我发誓 要是他们把她答应给我的大红宝石给合葬了
I swear, if they bury her with that giant Ruby
我就是刨坟也要把它挖出来
she promised me, I'm diving in after it.
你们好 我能问你们些事吗?
Hi, guys. Can I ask you something?
没错 你和保罗分手没错
Yes, you did the right thing breaking up with Paul.
不 你没有太早放弃爱情
No, you didn't give up on love too soon.
如果我再听到你问这些问题
And yes, if I hear one more word about this,
我们就拎包走人
we're going to take a little trip upstate,
而且回心转意之人绝对不超过一个
and only one of us is coming back.
拜托 伙计们 我是个女人 我需要发泄
Come on, you guys. I'm a woman, I need to vent.
我们就脾气 特别在分手之后
It's what we do. I mean, after a breakup,
我们会剖析恋爱过程中的每一刻
we dissect every single moment of the relationship
直到恶心自己的声音为止
until the sound of our own voices makes us want to scream.
有没有可能我们已经到这个阶段了?
Any chance we're there yet?
霍莉你不懂 我们是男人 我们不是倾听者
Holly, you don't get it. We're guys, we're not listeners.
我们的耳朵是用来听比分 啤酒广♥告♥
Our ears were built to hear sports scores and beer ads
还有高♥潮♥中的呼唤
and our names called out during sex.
那种事我遇到仅此一次 当时我的肘压在她头发上了
That happened to me once. I had my elbow on her hair.
好了 听着 伊登走了
All right, you guys, look, with eden gone,
我真的需要有个人来和我谈心
I really need someone to talk to.
我需要你们其中之一来当我闺蜜
I need one of you to be my woman.
- 哦不要 - 不要
- Oh, not it. - Not it.
不要...嘿
Not it... hey.
看样子我找到志愿者了
Looks like we have a volunteer.
哇 这儿人真多
Wow, is it crowded in here.
你介意我借用下这张椅子吗?
Would you mind if I borrowed this chair?
当然不 你也可以和我们拼桌
Not at all, or perhaps you'd care to join us?
你确定我不会打扰你们谈话吗?
Are you sure I wouldn't be interrupting your conversation?
会的 不过祝你好运
Oh, you are, and bless you.
他想说的是
What he's trying to say
我刚和我男朋友分手
is that I just broke up with my boyfriend
他不想听我唠叨这件事
and he's sick of hearing me yak about it.
我们当然要唠叨这事
Well, of course we have to yak about it.
我们需要发泄 这是女人分手后的疗程
We need to vent. It's our process.
- 啊 - 谢谢
- Ah. - Thank you.
我才认识她三十秒
I've only known her 30 seconds,
比起你 她明显才是我的好闺蜜
she's already a better woman than you are.
是啊 我和我男友六个月前分手了
Yeah, well, I mean, I broke up with my boyfriend
我还没有说够这件事
six months ago, and I'm still not done talking about it.
- 这样啊 - 你知道吗
- Ah. - Well, you know, the best way
忘记一个男人最好的方法就是开始一段新恋情
to get over a guy is to jump right into a new relationship.
哈斯克·卢茨 可上哦
Haskell Lutz, jumpable.
茱莉亚·索姆 不知道为什么 有兴趣
Julia sommes, and for some reason, intrigued.
啊 你 你 你好 茱莉亚
Ah... hi... hi, jul... hi. Hi, Julia.
- 我是霍莉- 你好
- I'm Holly. - Hi.
我不想吓着你
And I don't want to scare you or anything
但你现在是我的新闺蜜了
but you're my new best girlfriend.
看样子我拼桌得趣了
Hoo hoo! Looks like I found the fun table.
是啊
Yeah!
两位新朋友的下一轮酒我请了
Hey, let me buy the next round for my two new friends.
- 好的 - 走开
- Okay. - Scram.
- 你走开 - 我需要一个女人
- You scram. - I need a woman.
- 我更需要 - 啊
- I need one worse! - Ah.
你好
Hello.
好吧 现在
All right, now,
让我们看看人才库
let's check out the talent pool, shall we?
头奖 头奖 头奖
Jackpot, jackpot, jackpot!
- 等下 等下 - 嗯?
- Hang on, hang on. - Hmm?
你怎么知道那女的适合你?
How do you know that woman's for you?
我刚从下身得到了一个可靠消息
I just got word from a lower authority.
你家大雕?
Your penis?
它来帮你做决定?
That's who's making your decisions?
除了炒股外 其他事我都相信他
I trust him with everything but stock tips.
好吧 所以你不在乎她是谁 她人怎么样
Okay, so you don't care who she is, or what she's like,
也不用做任何情感交流?
or about making any kind of emotional connection?
让我想想
Let me check.
不用
No.
你好 我碰巧注意到
Hello. I couldn't help but notice
你在看除了微博和短♥信♥之外的东西
that you're reading something other than a tweet or a text
我来赞一个
and I, for one, say bravo.
抱歉 希望那听起来不像泡马子的台词
Sorry, I hope that didn't sound like some slick pickup line.
不 完全不像
Nope, not even remotely.
- 你介意吗 - 不 坐吧
- You mind? - Oh, not at all, have a seat.
你在看海明威的书 好选择
So you're reading Hemingway. Wow, great choice.
我从来没有忘记第一次
You know, I'll never forget the first time
我读到太阳也
I read the sun also...
升起
Rises.
前夫总动员 第三季第三集
- 味道不错 - 是啊
- Mmm, this is nice. - Yeah.
这样更不错
This is nicer.
- 菲尔 - 嗯?
- Phil. - Hmm?
有些事我觉得应该让你知道
There's something you should know about me.
- 嗯 - 我过去挺放纵的
- Mm-hmm. - I've had a pretty wild past.
- 我也是 - 我想
- Me too. - I guess I'm what
我就是那种"性♥爱♥冒险者"
you would call "A sexual adventuress."
我也是
Me too.
但我知道我那样永远不会遇到真命天子
But I knew I would never meet the right guy that way.
所以两年前
So two years ago I became...
我重拾贞操 不再滥交
A recommitted virgin.
我也是!
Me too!
早啊 哈斯克
Morning, Haskell.
别向我问好
Don't you "Morning" Me.
你们玩床震害得我一晚上没睡着
You kept me up all night with your carnal antics.
床头板撞得吱吱响 还在大声尖叫
Your headboard banging, your thumping, your squealing.
听起来就像个闹鬼的妓院
It sounded like a haunted whorehouse.
你说在什么?
What are you talking about?
我女伴昨晚早就走了 不是我
My date left early last night. It wasn't me.
水
Water.
昨晚是你吗?
That was you last night?
嗯哈 我有位女士朋友来过夜了
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I had a lady friend over.
一直在
And over.
一遍又一遍
And over.
等一下 你滚床单了
Wait a sec. You had sex,
而你出局了?
and you struck out?
没人告诉我那是如此颠覆的一晚啊
Nobody told me it was upside down day.
淡定 昨晚我没有做♥爱♥
Easy. I didn't have sex last night
是出于一个很简单的原因
for a very simple reason.
我重捡贞操 不再滥交
I'm a recommitted virgin.
对啊 我们都这么对自己说的 不是吗?
Yes, that is what we tell ourselves, isn't it?
- 重捡贞操? - 嗯嗯
- Recommitted virgin? - Mm-hmm.
嗯哈 这种想法是
Uh-huh, and when did this
什么时候被唤醒的呢?
little spiritual awakening happen?
就在昨晚 当我遇到了
Last night, when I met
一位宇宙无敌美的女人时
the most smokin' hot woman on the planet.
碰巧她也决定重捡贞操不再滥交
Turns out she's a recommitted virgin too.
这种事机率有多大?
What are the chances?
我知道你的诡计
前夫总动员（2011）
The Exes
剧集 | 前夫总动员（2011） | 导航列表