接生公（2015）

I better call Ryan.
我最好给Ryan打个电♥话♥
Hey, I've got a husband and wife called Robert and Roberta.
嘿 我刚遇到一对夫妻 男的叫Robert 女的叫Roberta
It's one of those really crazy mornings. I can top that,
今天早晨真是疯狂啊 我还遇到更疯狂的呢
I've got a guy who's got two women about to give birth at the same time.
有个家伙 两个女人同时在这儿给他生孩子
How do you like them apples?
怎么样 疯狂程度碾压你了吧
Actually, it's those apples. Sorry to be a pendant.
应该是碾压我说的事 抱歉挑了你语病
Pe... OK, got it. Thank you.
语病 好吧 我懂了 谢谢你啊
Caitlin, can I ask you something?
Catlin 我能问你件事情吗
Erm... is honesty always the best policy
呃 跟同事相处的时候
regard to fellow staff members?
最好是坦诚相待对吗
Look, if you're gonna pay me a compliment, Matthew,
听着 要是你想恭维我 Matthew
you know, just spit it out. Compliment?
最好直接说吧 恭维
Yeah, I'm not gonna report you for harassment. I promise.
对 我不会告你骚扰的 我保证
No, no, I meant er... Supposing someone was trying to...
我不是这个意思 比如说某人想
become good friends with someone else,
跟别人变成很好的朋友
but they were worried they might have messed up.
但又担心把关系搞得一团糟
Why don't we just go into my office?
我们干嘛不直接去我办公室呢
You know, I could close the door and the blinds.
我可以把门窗都关好
And...my eyes
再闭上双眼
No, no, no. No, no. Sorry.
不不不 不好意思
Supposing I'd accidentally done something
比如我一不小心
to upset this person, should I tell them or keep quiet?
惹到某个人了 我该说清楚还是瞒着呢
I'd say tell me. The person isn't you.
告诉我吧 那个人不是你
Well who is it, then? I can't tell you.
那是谁呢 我不能告诉你
You don't want me to know? I don't want Lisa to know. Lisa?
你不希望我知道吗 我不希望Lisa知道 是Lisa
No, I don't want... Theresa to know. Theresa?
不是 我不希望Theresa知道 Theresa是谁
Theresa... May, Home Secretary.
Theresa May 内政大臣
Why wouldn't you want her to know?
干嘛不希望她知道
If she knows, everyone's gonna know, aren't they?
如果她知道 大家就全都知道了 对不对
You know, there'd be questions in the house, Newsnight.
<夜间新闻>肯定有一大堆问题要问
I don't want that.
我不想那样
Ok.
好吧
Tash, Tash.
Tash Tash
So I've just spoken to Ryan,
我刚才跟Ryan通电♥话♥了
and he said the guy he had a row with this morning was tall,
他说早上跟他吵架的那个人是高个子
was coming into the hospital at 8:00am,
八点钟来的医院
and was an ex-policeman.
以前是警♥察♥
Who does that remind you of? Arnold Schwarzenegger.
你想起谁了没 阿诺德·施瓦辛格
Arnold Schwarzenegger? Yeah, he's tall.
阿诺德·施瓦辛格 对啊 他个子高
But he wasn't a policeman, was he? He was.
但他没当过警♥察♥吧 对吧 他当过
I'm sure he's a policeman in something. An actual policeman.
我保证他肯定演过 一个真的警♥察♥
Well he's tall, though.
但是他确实个子高啊
Yes, yes, he's tall, I'll give you that.
对对 他个子高 你说的对
But did he...
但是他
did he come into the hospital at eight o'clock this morning?
今天早上八点有没有来医院啊
I don't know, I've not got CCTV running through my brain.
我不知道哎 我大脑里面又没有监控录像
OK, do you know of any ex-policemen who work at this hospital?
好吧 那你有没有认识什么前任警♥察♥在这个医院上班啊
Not apart from Matthew, no.
除了Matthew之外就没了
A-ha.
啊哈
I need your opinion, have you got a second?
我需要你的意见 你现在忙吗
A second opinion? No, you're the first.
盲目的意见吗 不是 你的真知灼见
Ooh, I'm honoured. Objectively speaking, would you say
噢 我很荣幸 客观点来讲 你会说
Ahahah. I know what you're gonna ask. Do you?
啊啊啊 我知道你想问什么 真的吗
You are going to ask at what age are women past the peak of their desirability?
你想问女人在什么年龄会开始在性♥欲♥的高峰上走下坡路
I really wasn't.
我其实不是想问这个
But go on then.
但你继续吧
From the perspective of a happily married man,
如果身为一位快乐的人夫
I couldn't possibly say.
我可能说不出口
Oh. But being an unhappily married man,
噢 但是作为一位不快乐的人夫
I can. And? 83.
我能告诉你 什么 83岁
That's my mind put at
那我的心就可以再
rest for a couple of years. You're welcome.
踏实很多年了 不用客气
You all right, mate?
兄弟 你还好吧
People are wondering if you're a stalker.
他们都在想你是不是一个跟踪狂
The thing is, I need a job and wanted a quick word.
说真的 我需要一份工作 所以想跟你聊聊
Job Centre? I thought about that, I thought, no.
就业中心呢 我想过的 但是不行
Maybe you could put a word in for me round here, mention my name,
也许你能在这里介绍一下我 提一下我的名字
know what I mean? Mention your name?
知道我什么意思吗 提一下你的名字
Let 'em know I'm available.
让他们知道我有空了
To do what? To do what you're doing.
有空干嘛 做你现在做的工作啊
What? I know it's not a man's job Ian,
什么 我知道这份不是男人的工作 Ian
you can't just be a midwife.
助产士不是你随随便便就能当的
You are. Yes, I Yeah,
你就是啊 是的 我是 对啊
and why do you think I trained for three years?
那你觉得我之前为什么要训练整整3年
Dunno, were you a bit thick?
不知道诶 因为你智商低吗
No, just... that's how long it takes. OK?
不是 就是要这么长时间的 好吗
Hang on, so what you're saying is I can't get casual labour as a midwife?
等一下 所以你是说 我不能当一个临时助产士(随意生产)吗
That's what I'm... No, you can't.
就是这个意 不 你不可以
While you're in here, I wouldn't bandy the term casual labour.
顺便告诉你 我们这一般不说"随意生产"这个词的
What are you feeding them all?
你们喂她们吃什么的
Richard. Richard!
Richard Richard
Hi, Ricky, it's Alice. Just wondering where you are, babes.
嗨 Ricky 我是Alice 你在哪里啊 宝贝
Remember you said you'd never leave me. All right, bye.
记得你说过你不会离开我的吗 好吧 拜拜
Richard! Hi, Ricky, it's Alice.
Richard 嗨 Ricky 我是Alice
How long does the car take? Richaaaard!
车还要弄好久啊 Richaaaard
Where are you?!
你在哪里
Do you want a cup of tea? Nope.
要来杯茶吗 不用了
Can you pass me a tea bag? Get it yourself.
能帮我递一下茶包吗 自己拿
Well you're right there. Tough.
你离得比较近啊 就不
OK, what's going on? You want to know what's going on?
好吧 发生什么了 你想知道发生了什么
Yeah. You want to know what's going on?
是啊 你想知道发生了什么
I haven't changed my mind since the last time you asked.
我没有变换问题啊
You know very well what's going on.
你心里清楚得很
OK, now, erm... I know I'm supposed to be...
好吧 现在 嗯 我想我应该
I know that I'm supposed to be supportive and everything.
我想我应该帮助一下你什么的
We had sex one time. I don't think we did.
我们做过一次爱 咱俩没做过吧
No, me, Alice, my... my... my mistress. If you did it once,
不是 我和Alice 我的情妇 如果你只做过一次
I'm not sure you can call her mistress.
我不确定你可以叫她情妇
You have to help me find a new identity. In Belgium.
你帮我搞个新身份吧 最好是比利时的
Running away never solves anything. Is it?
逃之夭夭也解决不了问题啊 是吧
Unless there's a lion or something.
除非有狮子什么的在追杀你
I'd rather face a lion than let Melanie find out about it.
我宁愿面对一头狮子 也不愿意被Melanie发现
Bit of a stickler for not fathering children with other women is she?
她坚持不肯和其他女人一起给同一个男人生孩子 是吧
Ok.
好吧
Ok. Ok.
好吧 好吧
We'd broken up. I went for a drink and then woke up with Alice,
我们分手了 我去买♥♥醉 起床后发现身边是Alice
because Alice had broken up with Darren,
因为Alice和Darren分手了
the photocopier guy. Sure.
那个复印男 是啊
And that... that was it.
然后 然后就那样了
And then three months later,
3个月之后
Alice wanted us to be a thing
Alice想我们关系确定下来
thing but Melanie wanted to get back together.
但是Melanie想和我复合
I just got stuck.
我很纠结
I didn't wanna upset anybody.
我不想让任何人难过
And then they both suddenly found themselves with child.
然后她们俩都突然间发现自己怀孕了
Bit biblical.
很神奇啊
I've gotta continue this for the rest of my life.
我余生都要这样度过了
Bit ambitious. But listen, erm... Richard/Ricky.
任重道远啊 但是听着 叫你Richard还是Ricky啊
It's Richard. Richard. Listen, I do understand.
Richard Richard 听着 我很理解你
OK? You know, I've been a little untruthful with a friend of mine
我也对我的一个朋友撒了谎
and now this friend might think it's a bigger lie than it was.
然后现在我的这位朋友把这个谎想严重了
It's gonna be a logistical nightmare. Can you just stay with me
简直不敢想以后会多难 我在讲我的例子的时候
while I draw a personal parallel.
认真听我说好嘛
Sorry. OK. The point is...
不好意思 好吧 重点是
.. you've gotta put it right.
你要改正你的错误
Not with my friend, obviously, with your wife. No, you're right.
不是对我的朋友 对你的妻子 你是对的
You're... you're absolutely right. No.
你说得很对
I'll be straight with her, she'll respect that. Yeah.
我会向她坦白的 她会尊重我的 是啊
I'll ring her from Belgium.
我会在比利时打电♥话♥给她
Hi.
嗨